Tim: JASON, DERUU–
Tom: Amazingly, he doesn’t sing his own name in this.
Tom: But don’t worry, he’s still up to his own tricks: there’s a metric arseload of autotune.
Tim: “O-oh oh o-oh”
Tom: I don’t know what’s more worrying: the fact that there’s an “official Coca-Cola song”, or that you remember it.
Tim: Are you kidding me? How do you not remember it? Aside from being a great track (which peaked in the UK at number 2, with two months in the top 20), it was pretty much everywhere during the World Cup – almost literally, making the top 10 in fifteen countries and charting in many many more. You really don’t remember it?
Tom: Yep. Missed it entirely. That might have been an accident – I’m not exactly the world’s biggest football fan – or it might have been me instinctively staying away from anything corporate-sponsored.
Anyway, back to Derulo: the phrase “poor man’s Usher” popped into my head while listening to this. Is that too harsh?
Tim: Erm, yes, actually – there’s more actual singing than Usher tends to provide, I think, so on that particular criticism I would have to disagree with you.
Tom: There’s nothing really wrong with the song, but equally there’s nothing particularly right either. It sounds like the generic bit of music that a low-budget TV producer would pull out of a stock music library, so they don’t have to pay royalties for whatever’s in the background during the scene set in a club. Okay, perhaps that is too harsh.
Tim: Yes, I think so. Although some library music’s alright, so it’s not necessarily a horrific insult, but it does come across that way.
Tom: I’m always a bit bothered when I’m being that harsh about some music, because Derulo can still sing better than I ever could, and his songwriter can still put together a better track than I ever could.
Tim: Ah, but that’s the joy of being a reviewer – you don’t have to have skill, you just have to recognise it in others. Or the lack of it, apparently.
Tom: It’s just… well, I listened to the whole thing and I can’t remember any of it.
Tim: I can remember that this official, professional video decided to stretch rather than crop a series of photos, making it look stupid. And I can remember that I’m thirsty, and I’d quite like a particular fizzy drink.