Saturday Reject: Gregorian – Masters of Chant

“Laser-equipped knuckledusters”

Tim: Germany this year was a good watch – out of ten entries, seven were enjoyable (and somehow one of the others got through to the final three, but never mind).

Tom: And then… then there was this one?

Tim: Oh no, this is a very enjoyable one. It’s the one that hits the “yes it’s a novelty but then so was Lordi and look at them” mark. Infuriatingly, there’s no proper version online, so we’ll have to make do with the crappy audience recording.

Tim: Sure, for the first fifty seconds you’re there thinking “oh bloody hell what is this nonsense” but then the chorus hits and suddenly you’re in Hans Zimmer soundtrack territory.

Tom: Which, incidentally, means they’re not doing a bloody Gregorian chant, because that’s monophonic and on a very limited scale.

Tim: Ooh, pedantic, though technically accurate. Second verse, they bring out the soprano with the less impressive vocal, but then the others have all got laser-equipped knuckledusters so you don’t care. Final chorus, we’re back in soundtrack territory and you’ve got the lighting change which really brings out the flames, the film suddenly taking a trip to the underworld for a terrific climax.

Tom: It’s… actually not bad. The lyrics are ludicrous, but it’s more listenable — and certainly more memorable — than a lot of Eurovision entries.

Tim: Would it have won Eurovision? Absolutely not. But would it have been entertaining, and maybe a decent track for Germany to send anyway, given that they’re guaranteed a place in the final? I think: absolutely yes.

Tom: Remember LT United? Yes you do. And that’s the point.