Saturday Flashback: The Wanted – Walks Like Rihanna (7th Heaven Remix)

“Can it be improved further?”

Tim: Now, you’ll remember on Monday I pointed out that there are very few songs that wouldn’t be improved by a 7th Heaven do-over. Well, Walks Like Rihanna is already a very very good song, so can it be improved further?

Tom: See, you’re wrong there, because Walks Like Rihanna is a terrible song.

Tim: What.

Tom: You’re right that the composition and production is great, but the lyrics are god-awful.

Tim: No, *some of* the lyrics are god-awful. I am happy to put those aside.

Tom: Fortunately, someone once sang the chorus to me as “she looks like a hammer”, so I’m just going to pretend those are the lyrics and agree: the production’s pretty good.

Tim: Okay, whatever works for you.

Tom: Like you said, can it be improved?

Tim: WELL OF COURSE IT CAN.

Tom: Yep, because I get to sing “looks like a hammer” even before those terrible first two lines.

Tim: Everything that’s good from the original, and oh then so much more – strip out the tedious ‘real’ and ‘authentic’ instruments, replace them with with outrageously poppers o’clock synth beats instead. Finally, for good measure, chuck in a BANGING post-chorus that everybody can utterly lose their nuts to.

Tom: Phrasing.

Tim: I didn’t know I wanted a dance remix of this, but boy, am I now glad that I’ve discovered it.