Author: Tim

Softengine – Yellow House

“It all just sort of washes over me.”

Tim: These lot here did Finland’s track for Eurovision this year, and now they’re out with this follow up.

Tom: Hmm. Now, I found that to be one of the forgettable tracks of Eurovision this year — harsh, I know — but I’m basing that on the fact that I can’t remember it at all.

Tim: Have a listen, why don’t you, and also please see if you have any idea what it’s about.

Tim: Because I really don’t.

Tom: Nope. Not a clue. I suspect it might have been put together by a Markov chain.

Tim: Oof, Europop mixed with advanced mathematical systems. YOU’RE WELCOME, readers. Musically, I like the song a lot – the intro and post-chorus melody is great, the backing under the second verse is good, decent vocals, though I’d happily tone down that middle eight a bit.

Tom: Aye, there’s nothing wrong with it, but it all just sort of washes over me. Can I remember the hook after it’s finished? Not in the slightest, other than knowing it sounded, y’know, not bad.

Tim: Annoyingly, I can’t much disagree with that. I LIKE IT, though. Except for the lyrics, because…yeah, no idea.

Ariana Grande feat. Zedd – Break Free

“What a final chorus: that’s everything a pop song should be”

Tom: I reckon the credits on this should be the other way round.

Tim: I agree.

Tom: Not to talk down Ariana Grande, of course, although I still think she should have changed her name to Ariana Venti when she turned 20.

Tim: A missed trick if ever there was one.

Tom: She has a heck of a voice. Not many people can pull off casually dropping a whistle register into their singing. But this could be any vocalist: the power of this track comes overwhelmingly from Zedd’s backing.

Tim: It really does (and that’s a lot of power in there), but I guess it’s just a question of who composed the tune really, and who they felt took priority. I’m with you, though.

Tom: And what a final chorus: that’s everything a pop song should be, with some pleasingly 90s and 00s tones in there.

I find the bit after that final chorus very odd, though. There should never be anything after a final chorus. And yet, it just turns into Generic Beats — and given the video, that’s in at least two senses of the word — for a few seconds. Bizarre.

Tim: Hmm. I assumed that was just the bit that’s stuck on the end to mix out with, which yes, I suppose is weird in the video. Nice video, though, even it wasn’t quite enough to make me soil myself.

Tom: I skipped over that text intro, which means this really confused me until I worked it out. I thought you regularly soiled yourself at music videos.

Tim: No. No, no.

Saturday Flashback: Donkeyboy – Crazy Something Normal

“The video is certainly a thing.”

Tom: “Donkeyboy never disappoint”, writes an anonymous reader.

Tom: To be fair, beyond the fact that Joe McElderry covered one of their songs, I don’t know anything about Donkeyboy, so disappointing me’d be difficult.

Tim: I pretty much can confirm what our reader says – their releases are considerably more killer than filler, and this just serves to further demonstrate that.

Tom: The song’s catchy, I suppose, and the video is… well, the video is certainly a thing.

Tim: Yeah – Attack of the Giant Unstoppable Spraypaints isn’t a film I thought I’d be watching today. The music, though, I think is great, and very enjoyable.

Tom: I can’t pick out anything objectively bad about this song; I’d even say it’s a single rather than an album track. But equally, I can’t see it reaching the top of the charts — it’s one for folks who like this sort of gently calming, uplifting, pop.

Tim: Hello!

Emma Olivia – My Shoes

“Nope. Can’t listen without cringing.”

Tim: Emma Olivia, a Swedish 14 year old who’s got a song out.

Tom: And it’s called “My Shoes”.

Tim: Good reading skills.

Tom: I’m against this on principle.

Tim: Ah.

Tim: Pleasantly, this isn’t a song about the depth of love and the tragedy and pain of heartbreak that always sounds utterly ridiculous when coming out of, say, 16 year old Zara Larsson. Instead, we just have “I really really really like you,” which, even if it does leave something to be desired in the variety area, does at least save the melodrama for post-adolescence.

Tom: Nope. Can’t listen without cringing.

Tim: Really? Because I can’t listen without smiling.

Tom: That chanting, the “really really really” like you lyrics… no.

Tim: Oh. Although, for the other lines in the chorus – is shoe-writing a thing? Because, well, okay.

Tom: I wouldn’t know, I’m not 14 years old. I suspect I’m getting Too Damn Old for songs like this.

Tim: You say that, but I reckon that despite the lyrics, it doesn’t sound that much like a kid singing – certainly a lot less so than Junior Eurovision’s Julia Kedhammar – and that’s a good thing. Yes, the voice could do with developing a bit, particularly with the long note just after two minutes in, but otherwise: sounds great.

Tom: I think my reaction’s basically summed up as a slightly shuddering “gaaah” — with one exception. That middle eight deserves to be in a much better song. In fact, I’m fairly sure it already is, I just can’t remember where.

Tim: Oh. OHHH. OH GOD, yes it does remind me of something. Agh, oh I don’t know. I still think it’s great.

Ida LaFontaine – Anthem

It’s basically saying “listen to some other song”.

Tim: You may remember YOLO, or quite possibly you’ve attempted to purge it from your memory. Either way, Ida’s back with this, with a surprisingly self-defeatist chorus line.

Tim: Now, I know where she’s coming from – very often, there’s not anything on the radio I want to here. I do sometimes want to put my anthem on. But no offence, Ida: this here’s not particularly anthemic.

Tom: The intro and first verse really put me off this: that kind of stripped-down attitude shouty-pop doesn’t really do much for me. As for the chorus: well, I guess the most I can say is that at least it’s not the verse.

Tim: It’s a good track, sure, with nice production, a good example of the female almost-shouting vocal that’s so in fashion, and well-meaning and identifiable lyrics. But you need to get on to that lyricist, because halfway through this, if I’m paying attention to it, I’m gonna be switching it off.

Tom: True. It’s basically saying “listen to some other song”.

Tim: Nice lyric video, though, even if it doesn’t realise how much gravitas one should pay to the word ANTHEM.

Tom: If the best I can say about the song is “I liked the typography”, then I’m not exactly giving it a high rating.

Saturday Flashback: Thirty Seconds to Mars – Kings and Queens

That’s how you do good anthemic stadium-pop-rock.

Tim: We demonstrated on Wednesday that sometimes you get choruses that are so good any other fault can be entirely forgiven. Here’s another.

Tom: Bird noises and sound effects. That’s a good start. Mind you, once that intro actually kicks in…

Tim: Once that happens, then yes, the verses are a bit dull. Yes, it’s almost six minutes long with a sillily long middle way-more-than-eight, which the civilised world has no need for. Yes, the lyrics are overinflated self-important guff. But then there’s that chorus line, so powerful, so outstanding, so memorable that you just don’t care about all that.

Tom: Yep. That’s how you do good anthemic stadium-pop-rock. Add some strings and big percussion, and start wailing on your guitars. Not an insult, that — it’s damn good.

Tim: It’s just a great, great track.

Mapei – Change

“I’m about to get analytical, because I think this song deserves it.”

Tim: Fancy some bored looking people holding bits of cardboard?

Tom: You sure know how to hype up a video.

Tim: In my defence, there aren’t many other ways of describing it.

Tim: Now that’s a good song. Sort of. Melody’s alright, production’s very good, vocals are on top form.

Tom: It’s that “sort of” I find myself agreeing with. That chorus is pretty, but I’m not sure about the rest of it, and as for the sort-of-rap interjections, well, the less said about that the better.

Tim: Yes, there I’d agree. But it’s the lyrics that get me, because they leave a lot to be desired. Now bear with me because I’m about to get analytical, because I think this song deserves it, unless I’m massively overthinking it.

Here’s the thing: we have bored people in the video. Bored people who are disappointed with their life. They want something more. Something special. Hell, they deserve it – they are, after all, “royalty waiting to be crowned”. So what do we do? How do we make this big change happen? Easy! We, erm, oh. We wait, apparently. Even though “you’re in control, you got so much soul,” we’re all just waiting.

Tom: Mm. When you analyse it like that, it doesn’t really put a good message out, does it?

Tim: No, but perhaps I’m misinterpreting it – perhaps really what it’s trying to do is point out this, that we could be doing something but all we’re doing is sitting on our arses, except I don’t get that vibe from it. With the emphasis vastly more on the waiting that the in control, I get a “you’re in control, so just sit back and everything’ll be great.” And that just doesn’t work for me.

Tom: Agreed. And you know who I’d pick for a more positive message? Oddly, it’d be Eminem.

Tim: You know, here’s where I should be suggesting a pleasant schlager track instead, but no, can’t think of one. Maybe it just has to be angry.

Bjørnskov – Venner for Evigt

“It’s still rare to find a smash-hit pop song that isn’t about love somehow.”

Tim: Danish, for “Friends Forever”. That’s nice, innit?

Tom: Ah! That’s a coincidence. Our Brazilian reader, CB, sent this in yesterday. I’m guessing it’s not a cover?

Tim: Believe it or not, no.

Tim: Yes, as it happens, it is nice, both with the music and because it really is just about friendship. It’s refreshing to have a track that acknowledges that not all two-person relationships are romantic, and as the (entirely predictable and unemotional) video shows, this is exactly what this is.

Tom: Agreed. It’s still rare, even now, to find a smash-hit pop song that isn’t about love somehow. Wake Me Up’s the first one that comes to mind.

Tim: A celebration of two people who’ve just been BFFs throughout their life. I thought it came across a bit aggressive for a pleasant sentiment like that, to start with, but then I checked the lyrics and it turns out the chorus is about the relationship standing strong through all sorts of challenges (“they do what they want, we’re like water over a fire”) so it actually works very well – appropriate aggression with a whole amount of enthusiastic and celebratory energy.

Tom: And musically, it stands up too.

Tim: It does indeed. Lovely stuff.

Julia Kedhammar – Du Är Inte Ensam

“One of the cheesiest dance tunes that I’ve heard this side of 2004.”

Tim: 15th November, Tom, a date that should be in your diary – the 2014 Junior Eurovision Song Contest!

Tom: That is so not going in my diary.

Tim: Here’s Sweden’s entry (as I’ve a feeling you won’t be worried about spoilers for this).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8K365ADCiw

Tim: Yes, it’s clearly a song by a kid, and it probably isn’t too worried about taking itself too seriously.

Tom: That’s true. Which is for the best, because apart from that build into the chorus — and yes, that key change — I’m not that fond of it.

Tim: Nonetheless, it’s a damn good track, and one that’s substantially better than a lot of entries to proper Eurovision, though I’m aware I might just think that because it’s one of the cheesiest dance tunes that I’ve heard this side of 2004.

Tom: I’ll agree that there are much worse entries in Eurovision, but it seems to have brought the style of 2004 without all of the energy that went with it. It’s not bad, I guess, but the build never seems to turn into a proper chorus. That might be the fact it’s a kid singing it, and not someone with a more powerful voice.

Tim: Well, who cares? It’s a great dance track, and it has a key change, so who needs more than that?

If you’re wondering about our place in the JESC (I’m not typing it all out), well, we competed in 2003, when Tom Morley came third; in 2004, when Cory Spedding came second; and in 2005, when Joni Fuller came fourteenth. We didn’t return after that.

Tom: I’m guessing the viewing figures didn’t justify the expense. I’m not surprised.

Helena Johanssen – Faith

“A confident and powerful statement of YES.”

Tom: Ooh, is it—

Tim: I’ll stop you and your immediate predictability there, and inform you that no, it’s not a George Michael cover. A Swedish lady instead, with a song all of her own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuONKC4NWpo

Tom: That’s one of the best introductions I’ve heard in a while.

Tim: It is yes – it just starts and never stops, does it? A nice example of a track where the lyrics and music go together perfectly – it’s a declaration of self, a confident and powerful statement of YES.

Tom: It works so well: this is a damn good track.

Tim: Everything WILL be great, because we have FAITH. Which I suppose is alright, really. You might want to doubt the reality of it, because if faith is all you need then judging by the number of X Factor hopefuls that say “I really really know I can do this” we’d be able to do a track every hour.

Tom: It could be worse: it could be the nauseating (sometimes literally) No Matter What, the ultimate expression of denying reality.

Tim: Yes, that’s true. Either way, let’s not go down that route because it would spoil the essence of the song, and I don’t want to do that because it’s such a great track.

Tom: And as for the music: listen to that drumbeat. No four-on-the-floor here: that’s sometimes disastrous, but here it just works so well. It’s a testament to her voice that she’s able to compete with instrumentation that compelling.

Tim: That production underneath is just excellent – I genuinely don’t think I can fault it, so good work to everyone involved.

Tom: I’m quite happy that 90s-esque synth pads seem to be back in fashion, too, even if they’re buried deep in the mix.

Tim: Excellent. All happy then.