Category: Europop

Donkeyboy – Triggerfinger

“We’ve had our share of videos showing off London recently, haven’t we?”

Tim: The latest single from Donkeyboy, the band who is to Joe McElderry what The Zutons are to Amy Winehouse.

Tom: Oh. Oh, wow. That’s… simultaneously very true and very harsh.

Tom: We’ve had our share of videos showing off London recently, haven’t we? Generally in blurry slow motion, but still. Also, who uses payphones any more?

Tim: Off the top of my head: Maroon 5, and, erm, well, these guys, I guess. Now, I like this track a lot.

Tom: Really? It seems like the kind of thing you’d dismiss.

Tim: You think?

Tom: That odd, disconnected intro keeps returning like a bad smell, and the female hook leaves me cold. Yes, the final chorus isn’t all that bad, but then there’s one last “om” sound to pull you out of the magic. What on earth do you like?

Tim: Actually, pretty much everything about it. A lot of somewhat disparate parts, but all, well, hmm. Here’s the thing: I’ve listened to this about six times now whilst writing this review, and I can’t really put into words what it is that I like so much about it. It just, works, really. Really, really well. And I want to keep listening to it. So, I will.

Tom: To each their own.

Oscar Zia – Without U

The chorus is brilliant, but the niggles crept in.

Tim: We mentioned Oscar the other day, when we were talking about hashtags; this is his #Followup, and now we’re out with the hashtags, in with the replacing words with letters.

Tom: Are you…

Tim: Don’t worry, I won’t.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPfyaDMPG6E

Tim: This is…hmm. Well. The thing is, the first time I heard this I really liked it – by and large it’s a great track. The chorus in particular is brilliant, with its bog standard message put in a very upbeat manner, quickly and incessantly with decent dance undertones.

Tom: Agreed: that chorus startled me into paying attention to the song. I’m not sure about those verses – it is, as you say, a bog-standard pop track, but not one that turns me off.

Tim: But then…well, I heard it a few more times and the niggles crept in. The realisation that it was called Without U instead of Without You. The lyric that talks about how “my love was set return to sender” that doesn’t actually mean anything at all.

Tom: I think that’s “was then returned to sender”, but that’s not particularly meaningful either.

Tim: The most half-arsed attempt ever at a dubstep breakdown.

Tom: I read that sentence before actually listening to the middle-eight, and you’re right: that is indeed Half-Arsed Dubstep.

Tim: All those just combine, annoyingly, to put me off it slightly. I still like it – just, not unconditionally. Oh well.

Jenni Vartiainen – Junat Ja Maiset

This is what happens if an artist relies on the music rather than a dramatic outburst on Twitter.

Tim: Last time we met Jenni was a little over two years ago, and we were very impressed. Since then, there’s been nothing until this, just out as the lead single from her upcoming third album.

Tim: And what a comeback track that is, and something that Gaga could really take lessons from.

Tom: Oh, you’re so right. There’s so much going on, and all of it’s good.

Tim: Strings and drums all over the place, very much demanding of attention, rather than a song that could easily come from a five year old album. A smoke-filled atmospheric video on mountains and in caves, rather than some crappy backstage footage-laced lyric one.

Tom: To be fair, there’s a proper, suitably arty Gaga video out now – but that doesn’t change the comparison about the track. Crikey, change the lyrics to English, add a bit of electric guitar and you’ve got yourself something close to a Gaga track here.

Tim: This is what happens if an artist relies on the music to get attention, rather than a dramatic outburst on Twitter, and it’s vastly better for it. It’s brilliant.

Gabrielle – #SitterHer

“I don’t think anyone likes hashtags in song titles.”

Tim: I’ll be honest: I don’t think anyone likes hashtags in song titles except marketing suits (and perhaps Oscar Zia, who took a strange amount of pleasure singing them). Still, they seem to be a thing now, so let’s try not to let it get #InTheWay.

Tom: I don’t like the way this is going.

Tim: So, #SitterHer is a nice song. The title translates to #SittingHere, and I think that fits with the song very well.

Tom: Stop it.

Tim: Stop what? This is a #JauntyNumber – gives a nice #Impression of sitting around, #EnjoyingYourself, not worrying about anything really. Singing a little bit, with a #SmileOnYourFace, maybe even swaying gently #FromSideToSide.

Tom: Just stop it.

Tim: Seriously, stop what? Lyrics, well, I have #NoIdea what they’re about as I #DontSpeakNorwegian, but I’m #StrugglingToImagine that they’re particularly negative. All in all, #Listening to this song is a really #RatherEnjoyable #Experience. Though actually, #NotAsEnjoyable as I’ve found #WritingAboutIt. #AnythingToAdd?

Tom: There should be a way to punch people in the face through the internet.

Veronica Maggio – Sergels Torg

“So this is a Swedish version of Duffy’s ‘Warwick Avenue’, then?”

Tim: Tom! Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t speak any Swedish and you’ve never heard of Sergels torg. So tell me what you think of this.

Tom: Ooh, I quite like that.

Tim: Nice, isn’t it? Happy, and pleasant sounding, though a bit of melancholic tinge. Lovely vocals, and you’re probably imagining something along the lines of a “sorry but we have to break up” message to it.

Tom: I was thinking more “I’ll get on fine without you”, but yes, something along those lines.

Tim: Well, actually, no. See, Sergels torg (Sergel’s Square) is a bit of a horrible place in Stockholm – it looks quite nice at night, because there’s a big lit-up monument there, but otherwise it’s a bit dreary, is a big traffic roundabout masquerading as a public square, and doesn’t really live up to its original imaginings as a piece of art.

Tom: So this is a Swedish version of Duffy’s “Warwick Avenue”, then?

Tim: Oh, and then some. The lyrics, you see, are also a bit awful – chorus includes lines like “when everything is over, what does it matter”, “what does it fucking matter”, “what is there to care about”; the middle eight brings us up to heights of “there’s nothing to see…there’s nothing you can do about it”.

So, hmm. Lovely music, really lovely. Just, um, don’t listen to the lyrics, or you’ll want to kill yourself.

Ola – Maybe

A builder, but well worth it.

Tim: A builder, but well worth it.

Tim: I put that warning at the top because occasionally if I’m feeling rushed I’ll just give a song a minute or so before giving up with it; I’m very glad I didn’t here, though, because that chorus is great.

Tom: Given the brief appearance of those MGMT-like synths, I was happy to wait.

Tim: Well, that’s good. Melodically there’s not a whole lot there, but this is quite literally a BANGER. And from the first chorus on it never really puts a foot wrong – the vocal is more energised and considerably less suicidal (how can you make ‘today was as perfect as they come’ sound like a line you’d jump off a bridge to?)

Tom: Well, Lou Reed managed it. But yes, given that the chorus doesn’t stray too much from one single note, it’s surprising just how well it held my attention.

Tim: And there’s a constant drum beat to remind you that the chorus will soon be back doing everything it does so wonderfully even if you’re not happy with what’s going on in the meantime. This comes on in a club, any decent patron will be on the floor as soon as that one minute twenty hits. It’s just a shame about that first minute, really.

Tom: Don’t knock it: I think it’d be a much worse song without that introduction.

Eric Saade – Forgive Me

It’s a tad tedious, isn’t it?

Tim: Eric, it would appear, doesn’t seem to know what he wants to do, musically – a couple of years back he swore off the wonderfully pop sound of Manboy and the rest of the Masquerade album and headed all Jason Derulo-style (as previously remarked upon), but now, if this track off his next album is anything to go by, he’s done another about turn, and brought us this.

Tim: Problem with it, though: it’s a tad tedious, isn’t it?

Tom: That’s pretty much what I was going to say. If you’re going to turn in a new direction, make sure it’s better than the… one you were going in? That metaphor sort of fell apart for me. But yes. It’s overlong.

Tim: Yes – five minutes is quite something (though if you’re reading this at before having heard it all, literally nothing notable happens after 3:50, so feel free not to subject yourself to it). We don’t need a full minute of repeating chorus at the end, and really not when there’s nothing more to it than any previous choruses. It’s fine having a nice melody, which this does, but if I had control of this I’d say: ditch the second half of each chorus pair – in fact, pretty much chop everything in half.

Tom: Agreed. It’s twice the song it needs to be, and not in a good way.

Tim: I can’t be bothered to listen to the lyrics, but I’m willing to bet they’re not such brilliance that you can’t cut out half of them.

Tom: Damn, that’s harsh. Accurate, though.

Tim: It’d be a much more manageable song, and people probably wouldn’t notice that it’s so dull.

5Angels – World Domination

“I’m officially sounding the GET OFF MY LAWN klaxon.”

Tim: I don’t think we’ve yet visited the Czech Republic; shall we rectify that with a five-piece girlband?

Tom: Bloody hell. “Girl” band is right. Or am I just getting older?

Tim: No, you’re not – “cause you say we’re too young,” they sing, and ‘you’ may have a point as these five have barely entered their teens, although they’ve been going since 2009 and have got three albums out already.

Tom: In which case, I’m officially sounding the GET OFF MY LAWN klaxon.

Tim: Along with that, the PR guff we’ve got spouts stuff about their songs bringing ‘joy to children and teens throughout the Czech and Slovak Republic’, about their thousands of Czech and Slovakian fans being ‘comparable’ to One Direction’s fan base, and about a future appearance being alongside ‘pop royalty Jessie J and JLS’ in a Norfolk music festival at the beginning of September. Fun, no?

Tom: That’s a lot of PR guff right there. Mind you, we’ve seen much worse PR guff for much worse bands: they’re certainly competent.

Tim: They really are. To be honest, this strikes me as being a surprisingly mature sound for such young people – I don’t know if that sounds patronising, but I don’t have trouble imaging this being off, say, the Little Mix album, or Girls Aloud.

Tom: Apart from the fact they mention themselves. It’s been a while since I’ve made this complaint, but I do hate it when bands mention themselves in the song.

Tim: I’m not sure if they’ll ever achieve world domination, or any international success – a large part of me doubts it – but I’d not be complaining if they did. Although I wouldn’t mind a slightly more energetic return after the middle eight – a soaring vocal, an extra drumbeat or something. And maybe tone down the 2 & 4-beat handclap that permeates 90% of the song. But those niggles aside, this is fine.

Selina Stoane – One Sin Is Never Enough

“There is a lot of filler there.”

Tim: Debut single from a Norwegian, and if you get bored you can stop listening after four minutes and you won’t miss anything.

https://soundcloud.com/selinastoane/one-sin-is-never-enough

Tom: Hmm. I wasn’t sure I was going to last four minutes.

Tim: In fact, much as I liked it on my first listen, there is a lot of filler there – the ‘Selina’ middle eight is twice as long as the ‘eight’ demands that it should be, and four times as long as I’d like it to be.

Tom: Yep. And who has a middle-eight that is just their own name, repeated?

Tim: I almost introduced this with the line “Tom, there’s part of this you’ll hate.” I’m glad I didn’t, but I’m also glad to know I was right.

But then the final choruses come back, and then, well, they don’t really do much either, and once we get back to repeating her name I’m really rather losing interest. Trim it down a bit, though, and this would be great – the lyrics are perfectly true, her voice is good, and the music underneath is pleasingly poppy.

Tom: True, but if it’s outstaying itself welcome at four minutes, that isn’t a good sign.

Tim: Just…yeah, trim it a bit.

Cascada – The World Is In My Hands

It’ll be awful, right?

Tim: This is the necessary single release that accompanies any new Greatest Hits compilation; it’ll be awful, right?

Tim: NO. It’s actually really really good, and that’s not something I thought I’d ever be able to write about a new Cascada track. Recently, the output’s sounded like the energy’s drained somewhat from the first couple of albums, and she’s really just jumping on whatever everyone else is doing.

Tom: Particularly after Eurovision, where her song sounded like it was the previous year’s winner changed just enough to avoid lawsuits.

Tim: But this – this is back on top. It’s no Eurovision clone, it’s not a track with an idiotic title (why would you want a crowd to evacuate?). Instead, it’s original, it’s her own sound, and best of all it sounds like proper effort was put into it. I’m very, very happy with this.

Tom: I wonder how it would have done at Eurovision?

Tim: Probably quite a bit better. Eh, well. Too late for them now.