Tim: Now, I really like this, despite a lot of reasons not to – the melody’s not much more than average, the hate and sleeveless top make him look like a bit of a bell-end and the hands-free harmonica sort of makes me want to slap his ‘look at what I can do’ attitude.

Tim: But on the other hand, the drumming in the background adds a lot to the song, that harmonica sounds great even if it looks silly, and the vocal’s pretty great as well. So really, the best thing for me to do is listen to this but not watch it. Which, of course, would make this a terrible type of song to send to Eurovision.

Tim: Well, Lordi can kiss goodbye to their victory for a start. And a hell of a lot of wind-machine manufacturers would go out of business.

Tim: Decent enough name.

Tim: Well, it is quite catchy – chorus certainly goes on long enough to make it so. It’s a good chorus, though it’s let down by the fact that despite concentrating very hard, I’m entirely unable to make out the first line of it. And that annoys me, because a song like this is one I want to sing along to when I’m feeling chirpy.

Tim: Not as annoying as you would have found the three guys at the Scooter gig I went to at the weekend that held up signs with “HARDER”, “SCOOTER”, and “FASTER” on them. In that order.

Tim: Ooh, they missed an apostrophe in there. That’s not good.

Tim: Bold indeed, but certainly an acceptable viewpoint. Any further thoughts?

Tim: Do you know, that pretty much matches my views as well.

Tim: Nor does the apostrophe they missed, although I like what they did with the ‘jump on my shoulders’.

Tim: Yeah. And although after a minute and a half or so it felt like it would have to drag on a lot, it really didn’t when it played out. Good stuff.

Tim: Hmm. I think…’brilliant’? Really?

Tim: There, you could be right, because it is good. Not brilliant, I think, but positive, certainly.

Tim: Agreed. If you’re choosing to sample that song, this is a good way of doing it, paying it decent service. It’s far, far better than it could have been.

Tim: Me too. God, I’m really starting to like that stuff now.

Tim: You know, I wish you’d given me a bit of notice that we were going to turn in into to one of those sites, because I’ve got some much better videos than that one.

Tim: Oh, come on. You’re trying to tell me you’ve never once used the words “Shimmy shimmy yo shimmy sham shimmy yay” in a conversation?

Tim: The moustache, I’ll give you. The Hefner thing, well, it does at least fit with all his pervy mutterings as he skulks in the corner.

Tim: It is a cracker, and I actually don’t have a problem with Pitbull here. A lot of rapping in songs, I hate. But this just seems to work for me, or at least not ruin it, mainly because compared to that chorus and the rest of it, he just seem…unimportant, really, not actually doing much aside from the occasional murmuring.

Tim: In that case, I will offer you my full sympathies, understanding and support for any campaign you pursue, because eighteen months on I still haven’t got over the Flo Rida/Saturdays debacle.

Tim: And just so you know, I wrote that first sentence even before it got to 2:51, and at that moment I was properly sold.

Tim: That chorus has a proper tap/clap/click/something to the beat vibe about it, and even in comparison the verses have still got a decent amount of stuff to them. And then when you throw in the key change – admittedly after all the stopping and starting in the middle eight it had to finish with something pretty good, but that there just makes up for it, the memories of the dodgy bit are thrown out of the window and all that’s left is the triumphant soaring bit in the background, all wrapped up nicely.

Tim: So we’re agreed – this is where you should vote. Not that other one. I forbid you.

Tim: Well, you can change that to one.

Tim: We’ve got another case here Reidun Sæther’s “THIS IS WHERE THE KEY CHANGE IS”, though to a slightly lesser extent, and while this could sort of be described as rock music, it could just as accurately be described as schlager-dressed-as-rock music. Standard progression of verses and choruses, key change, closing bit, it’s all in there. And, like many songs of this type, it works pretty damn well.

Tim: It is, isn’t it? If it—the rock genre bit, that is, although it’s the case for the flute as well—became a regular thing, I don’t think it’d be so good, as part of the charm of these songs is the way they play with expectations. If it was expected, it’d be dull, and no more appealing than the usual stuff, and arguably less so. But as it is, it’s good.

Tim: It apparently comes with “reggaeton-inspired verses and a kick-in-the-gut chorus”, and is about “wanting it all, giving it all, and getting it all”.

Tim: Now, I’ve never heard any reggaeton, or even heard of its existence before now, so I can’t judge the first part.

Tim: Yeah – I’ve certainly no inclination to check out reggaeton based on these verses, but then there is that chorus, while perhaps not reaching kick-in-the-gut levels, does at least get up to tickle-on-the-tummy, so I’m all for this. It’s got quite a machine-y vibe to it, so it works on that level, and it’s varied enough that it never really gets dull.

It is definitely the choruses that make this, though, what with the slightly uninspiring verses. Those choruses are enough, though. Just about.

Tim: Anyway, he’s competing in the Metro On Stage competition, so you can vote for him here if you want. And see all the other entrants, and even submit your own should you be so inclined.

Tim: It really isn’t, but it’s also not inaccurate.

Tim: So far, so back to proper Basshunter.

Tim: Oh, come on – he hasn’t had BANGING BASS ever since he went mainstream four years back, has he? No, this is the stuff most people are used to, or at least it is until whatever this ‘let’s take a break and do something different’ is? I mean come on, no one wants it, it sticks out horribly, and it interrupts what is otherwise bog-standard excellent Basshunter fare. Yes, the song was coming to the point where it needed to go somewhere else, but you could at least cut it into halves and spread it out a bit, so it might sound a tad more integrated and flowing, no?

Tim: More, actually, although I must confess I’d never heard of that album until now.

Interlude aside, though, this song is a great and much-awaited return to form, I think.

Tim: I’ll go out on a limb: yes, you are. They’ve been together for five years, and Girls Aloud went for seven years without stopping, Westlife for twelve. Even Take That held it together for six years, so even assuming there’s a rule it’s still early days.

Tim: There, I will agree.

Tim: I got a similar feeling – more specifically, that I didn’t really care what the lyrics were, nor was I meant to care. As long as I hear the music and dance, that is enough for The Man.

Tim: And that is enough. It seems.