Rebecca Ferguson – Glitter & Gold

April 26th, 2012

Tim: SPARKLY!

Tom: No, it’s not a more sparkly cover of Sam Sparro.

Tim: Oh.

Tom: A voice right out of Motown. How many other stars would dare to end a track a capella?

Tim: Off the top of my head, quite a few. But it’s a voice that deserves the attention that provides, I’ll grant you that.

Tom: And wonderfully, this isn’t about sex, or relationships, or the love of money. The key phrase is “take care of your soul”, and the video’s a classy piece about rejecting superficiality. I want this to take the charts by storm. I want this to get to number 1 and, specifically, to beat some look-at-me rap star with an autotuned voice and a fancy Mercedes. It’s lovely.

Tim: Well, news for you: Radio 1 will playlist it, Capital will like it and play it a bit, and it’ll get top 10. Number one? Unlikely, but not impossible. You may get your wish.

Posted in Mainstream, R&B and Soul | Tagged | Leave a comment

Cheryl – Call My Name

April 25th, 2012

Tim: She toured with some of her former bandmates last year, and there’s an album in the works out in July, but in the meantime, former Record Breakers presenter, multiple UK Eurovision representative and serial skirt remover Cheryl Baker has dropped her surname in a bid to cause the biggest name confusion since that whole One Direction thing kicked off.

Tim: Hmm. Actually not much of a departure from her previous work.

Tom: It’s hardly bubblegum pop or the Land of Make Believe, is it?

Tim: The backing’s gone a bit too far forward for my liking, but on the other hand the voice is familiar, the song structure stacks up nicely and it’s got a decent tune behind it.

Tom: We are most definitely entering SUMMER ANTHEM SEASON.

Tim: I like this quite a lot, as it turns out. Good work Ms Baker.

Tom: Did you know that the front page of the Guinness Book of Records is blank?

Tim: Really.

Tom: A dedication’s what they need.

Tim: There it is.

Posted in Mainstream | Tagged | Leave a comment

Tulisa – Young

April 24th, 2012

Tom: She’s on a boat! She’s on a boat! Everybody look at her, ‘cos she’s sailing on a boat!

Tim: She’s also breaking into hotel rooms, stealing dogs, burning cars and vandalising works of art.

Tom: Okay, the SUMMER DANCE CHOON season has officially started. Easy lyrics, simple chord progressions, and a video featuring impossibly airbrushed people being jerks in a tropical location.

Tim: Right – you hold her down, I’ll call the police.

Tom: It’s a good track, it’ll be in every club for the next few months, and unusually for the genre, it’s not about relationships, sex, money or bragging.

Tim: Hmm. I was going to say something about how being a young insufferable arsehole is also a tad familiar, but while searching for that I found this brilliant/appalling piece of tripe, which I’d temporarily like to distract you with.

Tom: Oh my word. That basically is 1990s Eurodance in one single video, isn’t it?

Tim: Following that, though, my thoughts on this: good? Meh. Average? Closer. Yes, in every club, and that’s just something I’ll have to put up with, I suppose.

Tom: The second time I listened to this, by the way, it started to annoy me a bit. I foresee full-blown grumbling irritation when I hear it in a couple of months. Oh, and I’ll leave the sex-tape jokes to you.

Tim: Come on man, move on – everyone’s talking about that other one now. Or they will be when I’ve uploaded it.

Tom: Speaking of which, how is your mum?

Tim: Oh. Oh, wow. That is…that is…oh, man, it is on. It. is. ON.

Posted in Mainstream | Tagged | 1 Comment

Awake – Lights On

April 23rd, 2012

Tim: So, here’s a debut single from a couple of Swedish folk.

Tim: This one’s interesting, as far as I’m concerned. It starts of slow, a vocal builds up nicely, and then at 1:14 the beat drops in and it all gets going nicely. Very nicely, in fact, and I could listen to that melody for quite some time without complaining.

Tom: Ooh, that has a Proper Drop. Late enough to be needed, early enough not to get boring.

Tim: Except then, a minute later, it all gets going again with a much more emphasised vocal and it goes from ‘nicely’ to ‘very well indeed’, I think.

Tom: Agreed. I don’t think we’ve ever had a track on here that even tries to pull that off, let alone do it successfully. It does mean there’s no real middle-eight, but I can live with that.

Tim: Not sure what the ending’s all about, though, but if it happens to be an extract from their next track (this one’s out next month, by the way) then I’m looking forward to that as well.

Posted in Europop | Tagged | Leave a comment

Saturday Reject: Reidun Sæther – High On Love

April 21st, 2012

Tim: You’ve been to Norway, Tom – tell me, do they have a problem recognising key changes?

Tom: Not in my experience, but then my one time in a late-night club there mostly included regular US and British pop music, sadly.

Tim: Oh, shame. Well, anyway, we all know that excessive stage effects at the key change are nothing new in Eurovision (I love that one so much, I really do), but the multitude of massive spark fountains we have here seems to be saying “LOOK AT THIS THIS IS WHEN YOU GET EXCITED YOU MUST EXPLODE WITH JOY”. In fairness, it works—

Tom: Do you need a moment to clean up?

Tim: No, I pretty much contained myself—and adds even more to what is already a beauty of a key change.

Tom: It’s telegraphed way in advance, it’s got the proper ramp-up… but is it me, or does she miss that first note? That’s the trouble with carrying a key change just on voice.

Tim: Hmm – not quite sure. Having spent five minutes comparing this and the studio version, I can confidently state that there is a *very slight* difference – whether that counts as missing it entirely would be a judgment call. Still, it’s a cracking tune, and let’s be honest – it has everything a good piece of Eurovision pop should have, including lots of lengthy vocal howling (can’t think of a better word right now), a decent beat throughout, the aforementioned key change and spark fountain and fantastic use of the wind machine. I think in a general year, it could have worked, though to be honest I wouldn’t want to go head to head with Russia’s grannies with this.

Tom: I honestly think the grannies could take it.

Posted in Europop, Saturday Reject | Tagged | Comments closed

Keane – Silenced By The Night

April 20th, 2012

Tom: The big question we must face with a Keane song, Tim, is this: will it be interesting enough to say anything about?

Tim: Until I watched this, I’d never really paid much attention to Keane’s name. But look at it. Keane. Suddenly seems a bit weird. Keane. Anyway, here’s their new album’s lead single.

Tom: Semantic satiation, Tim.

Tim: I’d always thought of Keane (Keane. Hmm.) as a sort of dull Travis, who were in turn a fairly dull U2. Bits of this, though, remind me of actual U2 – I’m thinking the first line of the chorus specifically, but overall it’s at that sort of level. Just the opening few notes have a confidence about them that I don’t remember from their first stuff, and that carries on into almost an enforcement of enjoyment and enthusiasm in the listener.

Tom: I saw Keane at Live 8, and they had that confidence then – and an entire crowd singing along with them. The singles off that first album were just so good, that it’s difficult to put this one in perspective.

Tim: Maybe my memory’s doing them an injustice, but this is a lot better than I remember them.

Tom: And maybe my memory’s doing them a different injustice: but this isn’t as good as I remember them.

Tim: Hang on, give me a sec.

…Hmm. My memory is doing them a slight injustice, but I still think this is a damn good track, and probably on a par with the early stuff.

Tom: It’s good. Can I see Hyde Park, full of people, all singing this chorus? Maybe. Ask me in a few more listens’ time.

Posted in Mainstream | Tagged | Comments closed

Adam F – When The Rain Is Gone

April 19th, 2012

Tom: This is it: dubstep is mainstream now. All Around The World, makers of the Clubland compilations, are releasing it. And as you might expect, it’s been toned down, sanitised, and made commercial.

Tom: This is, in short, dubstep without the classic “wub wub wub” effect. And – I never thought I’d say this – I miss those wubs. Without them, this is just a bit of a lame, slow dance track. It’s as if the bass has been turned off – which, in a way, it has.

Tim: Hmm. I don’t know – I’m watching this on a train, and the 3G signal went just as the opening bit finished. I was a bit ‘ooh, not going to like this’, but when it came back and he pushed the play button on his iPod I was pleasantly surprised. I think there’s even a tune in there.

Tom: Let me point you at this remix. Okay, so the video just has static graphics rather than girls kissing, but at least it has some oomph to it. And it turns out I’m completely used to dubstep’s Transformers-having-a-seizure style now, because this sounds good to me. Compare that to the two-year-ago version of me which despised dubstep. Simply put, my ears have adjusted.

Tim: I suppose you may have a point – there’s a whole time and place thing, where if it’s the right time and the right place it works. And you’re right – that remix does sound better. A tad less appealing for me in general, but as a full song it’s a bit more rounded and complete.

Tom: The really weird thing? That remix still doesn’t have enough bass for me. MORE BASS.

Tim: Like this?

Tom: That’s why you should never go fishing with Skrillex. He always drops the bass.

Posted in Dubstep | Tagged | Comments closed

Blim – Scream

April 18th, 2012

Tim: After Monday’s schlager throwback and yesterday’s dreamy thing, do you think it’s time for some regular modern pop? Because I do, and within five seconds of this starting you’ll be right back home.

Tim: Quick intro: a duo comprising Rebecca Rosier (British) and Denmark Davis (um, Swedish). It’s been around a month or so, but annoyingly I kept forgetting about it until it was released last week. I think it’s pretty good – what do you think?

Tom: This isn’t dubstep – not by a long way – but it’s another sign of the genre’s steady encroachment into the mainstream. That slightly-late drop that appears at 0:39 is straight from the dubstep playbook; the beat in the background of the chorus is only really kicking in half as often as it “should” in a pop song.

Tim: Hmm – I’d just heard that as a big drumbeat, but you’re right. Subtle, and I actually like it a lot.

Tom: It’s how it always goes: “what’s this noise?” “actually, that track’s okay”, “oh wow, it’s everywhere”. The next step, “that’s horribly played out”, is due in a few months’ time. Also: this track’s a rare example of the middle eight being carried just by the vocal: there’s no great instrumental difference between it and the final chorus. It’s something that works very well – as, indeed, does the whole song. It’s not a BIG ANTHEM CHOON that’s going to knock all the clubs out this summer – but it’s not meant to be. It’s a decent modern pop song, and I like it.

Tim: Excellent – we’re in agreement.

Posted in Europop | Tagged | Comments closed

Little Jinder – Parked My Heart

April 17th, 2012

Tim: The problem with SoundCloud is that occasionally the waveforms it presents bear little to no resemblance to the actual song.

Tom: That is an obscure complaint to make.

Tim: Take this, for example.

Tom: That looks like “long intro, BOOM, quiet bit, key change.” I’m guessing it’s not?

Tim: Well, let’s have a listen.

Tim: Up to about a minute in, I was trying to stop myself falling asleep, with the assumption that at that point, a big beat was going to drop and the song wouldn’t be quite so dull. Obviously it didn’t, and in fact carried on pretty much exactly the same. But never mind, I thought, because something’s bound to happen at two minutes, surely. It must do, no? Er, no. Actually, no. It is just this throughout.

Tom: Disappointing.

Tim: BUT, I then realised that while I’d been focussing on what I assumed the song would become, I’d entirely missed out on what the song actually was, which is a rather mellow piece of… actually I have no idea how to place this, genre-ifically.

Tom: Okay, first of all, that’s not a word.

Tim: Erm, it totes is, actually.

Tom: I actually let out a noise something akin to “gnnnnnnnnng” when I read that. Just so you know. And secondly: well, yeah, you’re right. It’s not the type of music we normally cover, and to be honest it’s not to my taste. It’s… pleasant enough, I suppose?

Tim: Well, it’s nice. It’s gentle, it’s charming and if I were feeling poetical and a bit over the top I might even say beautiful, and it’s a light soundtrack to a summery morning lying in a park. Next to her heart, presumably.

Tom: That just makes me wonder where the rest of her is.

Posted in Europop | Tagged | Comments closed

Wizex – Simsalabim

April 16th, 2012

Tim: Instrumentally, this is dansband. In every other respect possible, though, this is as schlager is it comes.

Tom: I’m probably going to like this, then.

Tim: I mean just listen to it – it’s ridiculous. From the time it goes quiet in preparation for the closing bit, you’re just waiting for the key change, because you know without a shadow of a doubt that it’ll be there.

Tom: It’s wonderful. That second key change actually made me wince. Give it an electronic drum kit and up the tempo a bit, and you’ve got yourself a Swedish Eurovision entry – but I think that’d take away from it.

Tim: To be honest, it’d probably be easy to criticise this song—clichés all over the place, repetitive and familiar chord structures, and I’d be willing to bet that the lyrics don’t comprise a philosophical masterpiece—but dammit, I just can’t. Because, for all those reasons, it’s great.

Posted in Dansband, Europop | Tagged | Comments closed

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    Tim Jeffries was born in the UK a good few years ago now, and regularly dreams of a Busted reunion.

    Along with good music, things he appreciates include the use of correct grammar, well-made banana daiquiris and shampoo for men that smells nice (which he still hasn't found). His favourite colour is what Dulux call 25YY 49/757, and his favourite member of the Felidae family is the snow leopard.

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    Tom Scott is a techie with extremely questionable taste in music. In his spare time, he has too many plans and a worrying tendency to make them happen.

    His greatest achievement was getting five gold runs on Blockbusters, which he still harps on about to this day.

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