Tim: Lollo herself sends this our way, telling us that “it’s a melody-based, space-themed pop song, written by me; Lollo Manford, a Swedish pop artist and songwriter.”
Tim: And oh, I hate being critical when artists send in their own stuff, but presumably she’s up for it: this is sort of okay.
Adam: I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings! I feel bad enough not knowing if the artist will read this but I know this will. I’ll try and go easy on you Lollo!
Tim: The melody, I can cope with. It’s good enough. The production: not bad.
Adam: I think the underlying songwriting is actually very positive. The production sounds a little dated to me. I think if the instrumentation was switched up a bit this would be a much more attractive to listeners.
Tim: See, I’m fine with the instrumentation. But the lyrics? Oh, Lollo, no. I’m sorry, but that chorus just sounds like you’ve got one line you like in one hand and a rhyming dictionary in the other. “Stars right in my face,” that sounds okay. But the other two. “Dressed only in lace” is, let’s be honest, about as clunky as you can get. And “Singing my own phrase”? Sorry love, but someone’s already taken it.
Adam: I’ve been writing music and lyrics for around ten years and I’m still rubbish at it! It takes a lot of work like everything else. Is English Lollo’s primary language? I think she can be forgiven if it isn’t. Just keep working at it and in the future Tim won’t be so mean. Or maybe he will – haters gonna hate, right?
Tim: No, I’ll always be complimentary when I can – though somewhat contradicting that, the less said about that lyric video the better, really. A piece of advice for the future: don’t just take Windows Movie Maker and go through the effects one at a time.
Adam: Yeah… The music video isn’t great. I think the most important thing though is that it’s a good song, it just requires a bit more finesse.
Tim: I’ll try to finish on a positive – the music, I would listen to again. As an instrumental or with other lyrics, because there’s nothing wrong with the vocal. But find a lyricist, or a bigger rhyming dictionary.
Adam: This is the last time I’ll be reviewing tracks on this blog for the time being since Tom is back from the Arctic Circle. I hope you’ve all enjoyed my words and I haven’t been too negative! I’m glad I could end my time here writing something positive. Maybe in the future you’ll see me around again?
Tim: Hmm…if you’re very well behaved.