Tim: Help me, Tom.
Tom: Oh dear. Have you got a girl in trouble?
Tim: Not any time recently, no. But I have an issue, related to this.
Tim: You see, if will.i.am or some such act came out with this song, and for some reason we reviewed it, my half of the page would probably consist of no small torrent of abuse directed at the artist, most likely containing language that would be unsuitable for younger readers. So why do I quite like this?
Tom: You fancy Ola? Just a hunch.
Tim: Oh, please, with that hair?* Here, I don’t mind the appalling auto-tune, the club-referencing, the mindless lyrics or the general shoutiness. The vaguely decent tune that’s behind seems to be enough for me, when it really wouldn’t normally be. Is it just that he’s Swedish? And if it is, does that make me racist in a strange and incredibly specific way? I just don’t know.
Tom: It just seems such a dull song for its subject matter. “I want a riot / in this club”? Really? Because it takes a bit more energy and passion than that – particularly the lackadaisical final… poem or whatever it is – if you want to start a riot.