Tim: You’ll remember that last Friday, you and I went to a Europop club night, and for some reason two annoying middle-aged Danish guys kept talking to us, regardless of the fact that we hadn’t a clue what they were on about.
Tom: Yep. I’ve since been told that one of them had some rather interesting proposals that were, alas, both incoherent and incompatible with my own preferences.
Tim: You’ll also remember that you were a total— erm, you were a bit annoying and walked off with your female friend leaving me poor and defenceless.
Tom: That was, I’ll admit, a dick move. It was also hilarious.
Tim: Hmm. Well, as it turned out, one of them, strange and incessant though he may have been, did have an incredible knowledge of Eurovision history. For example, when this came on he shouted at me that Iceland came second with it in 1999, and then proceeded to sing it at me. All of it.
Tom: See? Hilarious.
Tim: I miss Eurovision songs like this.
Tom: So do I. It’s like B*Witched or something similar: 90s bubblegum pop that’s got very little of anything serious to offer, but just hits all the required buttons to make your brain happy.
Tim: I know they had their time, and they weren’t to everyone’s taste, and they did nothing to boost Eurovision’s credibility amongst fans of ‘proper’ (i.e. rubbish) music, but dammit, they were brilliant. Perfect cheesy pop that no-one with any semblance of a soul can listen to without being made happy and feeling all bouncy. Ridiculous dancing by, well, eejits in raincoats, just added to the charm and helped make it absolutely JOYOUS.
Tom: I’m so glad that Wogan’s retired.