Agnetha Fältskog & Gary Barlow – I Should Have Followed You Home

“Romantics will want to switch off.”

Tom: Crikey, that is a strong line-up.

Tim: Two former members of huge bands, one duet. Before you push play though: this is an incredibly depressing song and any romantics will want to switch off until tomorrow.

Tim: At least, lyrically it’s very depressing, and that annoys me. Because musically it’s lovely, really – the two of them are at the top of their game and it could so easily be a happy love song.

Tom: It’s lovely, yes, but also a bit dull — and I don’t know what I’ve got to pin that opinion on, only that the “ooh-oohs” in the chorus just left me a bit cold. But yes, it could be a happy love song.

Tim: Instead, we hear about two people who both regret parting after one night. But here’s what really gets me: the middle eight. Or, more precisely, what immediately follows it. (Brace yourself for what’s coming.)

Tom: Have you read more into these lyrics than was intended, by any chance?

Tim: Well, look. Basically, this song could tell a story. It could be a romantic film. We’ve had the basic introduction about the first magical night, we’ve had the regrets the two have felt since. So, enter the middle eight. The closing scenes. The lyrics “Snow falls, street lights paint your face,” and you think they’ve seen each other in the street, after years of anguish. You get her singing “maybe if you want to I’ll see you soon again,” and we know he wants to. So basically, the ending’s obvious: they change the lines for the chorus. The two of them run to each other. They grow old together. They have a family. It’s lovely. Except, no.

Tom: You really do get involved in these tracks.

Tim: Don’t interrupt, I’m getting emotional. You promised it in the lyrics, you even put nice twinkly noises coming into the final chorus to give us all hope, excitement and goosebumps, and then you STOLE IT FROM US. It would haver been WONDERFUL, but no. The two are DOOMED for a LIFETIME APART. WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS, BARLOW? WHY WOULD YOU TAKE MY HAPPY ENDING?

Tom: Heh. “Happy ending”.

Tim: I’m going to ignore that pathetic innuendo, because I’M CRYING TOO MUCH.