Saturday Reject: Alfred – Que Not Sigan Las Luces

“Gold-painted boobs on his jacket, but I’ll overlook that.”

Tim: One of the things I like about watching the various selection shows live is the communal experience that Twitter provides – in fact, one of my proudest moments is still when I drunkenly yelled at Portuguese broadcaster RTP asking what their official hashtag was so I could join in. The drawback, on the other hand, is that I typically come up with a quick one liner but have nothing else to say. This may be quite a short post, then, but for this, from Spain: “Slytherin‚Äôs entry to a Hogwarts Battle of the Bands.”

Tim: I stand by that, mind, for a variety of reasons: there are green lights, they’ve got Proper Instruments, and the song’s not particularly brilliant.

Tom: Wait, what? I think this is my favourite Reject so far this year. It’s got a horn section! It’s got a lovely melody! It’s got a competent live singer, too, who admittedly appears to be wearing gold-painted boobs on his jacket, but I’ll overlook that.

Tim: Oh, all of that’s true – it’s certainly very enjoyable, and I suppose I may have come across as a bit harsh earlier. It also got a hell of a reaction from the audience, which counts for a lot – though it did very poorly in the televote.

Tom: Admittedly it’s also pretty unoriginal. There’s nothing actually ripped off here, as far as I can tell, but I’ll bet you can find that chord progression in a lot of places; basically, this sounds like a lot of old indie-pop songs that I like, so therefore I also like it.

Tim: There’s also a dedication to frequently being as loud as possible, right down to shouting the last chorus line which is actually about whispering his secrets to the song’s target (presumably his girlfriend Amaia, who you’ll recall we met last week). Obviously this would entirely not do well at Eurovision – unless you’re Lordi, actual bands are Not A Good Idea – but it’s not a bad entry, and since Alfred ended up as part of the winning duo, no-one’s really lost out.

Tom: You’re right that it probably wouldn’t do well at Eurovision, which I think is a shame. I’d have given it full marks.

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