Tim: Care to see what’s coming out of Germany this festive period?
Tom: What, again? I wasn’t impressed last time, and now you’re bringing the B-side?
Tom: It’s terrible! For different reasons!
Tim: The second track released by this lovely group, it’s a cover of a 1987 track by Rolf Zuckowski, the title of which translates as ‘In The Winter Bakery’, inspired by Rolf’s phone call to his wife where he found out his kids were baking biscuits for him when he arrived home after a gig. And isn’t that just the most heartwarming tale of all?
Tom: Or sickening.
Tim: Or sickening, whichever.
Tom: I mean, I realise it’s a schlager cover of a kids’ song, so maybe I should just shut my mouth, but I reckon this what schlager sounds like to people who don’t like schlager. Does that make sense? Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse it had lip-smacking noises in the middle eight.
Tim: Here’s a promise for you, Tom: how annoying you may find this, you’d find it at least 700% more annoying if the lyrics were in English, because MY GOD are they twee. However. It’s Christmas. FAMILY TIME. And so we should celebrate every part of it. Right?
Tom: We’re half way through “Can We Get Tom Feeling Festive”, Tim, and so far it’s not going well.