Author: Tim

Nick Sky feat. Daisy – Save My Love

“It’s certainly at least half decent.”

Tim: “You know when you’ve met that very special one but it’s just too soon in your life?” asks Nick. Well do you, Tom?

Tom: I’m a cynic with a phobia of commitment, Tim, so I’m going to go with “no”.

Tim: Ah. Well in that case, you’re probably not in a prime position to appreciate this song.

Tim: I love you, but I don’t want to do anything right now. So hang on, let me “run wild for a while and suck the very most [I] can out of life,” he says, just for a few years and then I’ll come back to you. When, presumably, I’m all done with life. So just wait there, cheers. Yep, right there. Don’t move.

Tom: You know where I’ve heard that before? The Beautiful South’s A Little Time.

Tim: Oh yes, there was that. Some would say that’s quite a big ask, but apparently not Nick (or, as you say, The Beautiful South), who presumably thinks he’s worth hanging around for. And, well, I can’t find any pictures to judge him on that basis but he can at least put a half decent dance tune together, so there’s that.

Tom: It’s certainly at least half decent, although I wouldn’t go too much further.

Tim: Yeah – I’m fairly sure it’s at that level. It seems to go quite quickly, which I suppose could be a negative in a whole “washes over you” kind of way, but it also doesn’t leave me wanting it to hurry up and end like some tracks.

Tom: It’s only three minutes, but even at that length it seems to go on a bit long. The best bit is the build to the chorus — the chorus itself is a bit repetitive, and if I’m honest, the middle-eight feels like a bit of a letdown.

Tim: Yes – I suppose overall we could say “oh, it’s fine.” Just a bit of a dickhead basis to the lyrics, really.

Frida Sundemo – Hanging By A Thread

“The loveliest thing about this has been almost entirely slaughtered.”

Tim: Frida, we may or may not have noted before, has a lovely voice. But that’s not the loveliest thing about this track.

Tom: That’s pretty calm and, as you say, lovely – and I’m not sure, but is that a downward key change for the final bit?

Tim: Do you know, I think it might be. Unorthodox. Upsettingly, the loveliest thing about this has been almost entirely slaughtered by SoundCloud’s compression, because it’s the big synth notes that I really love about this, that appear for a bit in the middle and then return to bring it to a close.

Tom: That’s not Soundcloud: they don’t do compression.

Tim: Oh. Then…

Tom: That’s the mastering on the original track, and yes — it absolutely buries that synth under everything. It’s an odd decision.

Tim: Huh. It is, because they’re wonderful, and fit in beautifully with the strings that run underneath throughout; it’s just such a shame they sound so awful. Well can we have it remastered please? That’d be nice THANKS.

Gerda Monroe – Understood

“Excellent production, excellent tune, shame about the video.”

Tim: This is some loud Swedish Danish (thanks to Bob for pointing that out) pop. Up for it?

Tom: Good grief yes. It’s been a rough morning. Shouting please!

Tim: “Hey, guys, I’ve got this great idea for a video, TOTALLY unique. I’m just gonna walk down a street or two, and it’ll all be done in one take. Yes?”
“Sounds good, if you reckon you can do it.”
“HELL YEAH I can.”
…
“Oh. Oh, hang on, she’s got distracted AGAIN. Oh, we can’t start all over for a fifth time, tell you what, just pull the camera up to the sky with her, and we can pretend it’s thoughtful or something.”

Tom: I’ve shot video like that before.

Tim: Fortunately, the same “this’ll do” attitude doesn’t apply to the music, which is really very good indeed. There’s the chorus, which is top notch, and the main hook, which somewhat controversially comes both before and after the chorus, bookending it marvellously.

Tom: I couldn’t quite get over that descending melody line in the hook: for some reason it grates, and I can’t work out why. It’s a nice enough song, but perhaps you shouldn’t have sold it to me as “loud”: I was expecting Icona Pop levels of enthusiasm.

Tim: Possibly, but there’s still the fact that there’s just so much of it – call it instrumentally loud, and in a very good way.

Tom: True, there is that.

Tim: Excellent production, excellent tune, shame about the video. Oh well.

Saturday Reject: Janet Leon – Hollow

“It’s just not right.”

Tim: On the night, this was one of my predictions to go straight through to the final; in the end, it came eighth. That’s disappointing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Jt6TWyOF8

Tim: Now, I don’t want to be as rude as I was a couple of weeks ago, but really, last place? This is, as far as I can tell, a genuinely spot on piece of pop music, and surely one that even non-pop fans can appreciate as a possible victor.

Tom: And again, I’m not hearing it. It’s slow, the vocals don’t seem to properly harmonise, and the chorus is basically a dull version of Little Boots’ Remedy.

Tim: Oh, come one. Admittedly, that week we had Janet, Linda and the awful Ellinore competing for female pop vocalist of the night, so some vote-splitting may be inevitable, but seriously, last place for this versus an Andra Chansen placing for Ellinore? It’s just not right. To be honest, if Alcazar hadn’t qualified straight through to the final I think I’d have entirely given up hope.

Tom: Speak for yourself: it seems about right to me.

Kylie Minogue – Kiss Me Once

“Once that reaches the chorus, it’s lovely.”

Tim: “Pull the other one, it’s got bells on,” they say about legs, and now they should say it about songs off Kylie’s new album.

Tom: Ha! That took me a couple of seconds.

Tim: In particular, the title track, which this is, and it’s vastly better than Sexercise, the video she put out the other day which is everything that’s wrong with music videos today.

Tom: Oh, once that reaches the chorus, it’s lovely.

Tim: Yes, it’s really very good indeed, you see, and while it’s fair to say it’s not particularly ‘2014’ (see Sexercise for that), it’s also entirely fair to say this is a wonderful track that has Kylie stamped all over it, and that’s good enough for me.

Tom: Agreed: she’s got a distinctive voice and sound, and this is a good use of them.

Tim: It’s a little bit more grown up than yesterday’s kissing song, with lines like “we’ve got some loving to do” and “come up for air”, though you might expect that given that she’s about three times their average age BUT ANYWAY. I could listen to this a lot of times (and in fact have done), because it’s great, bells and all.

5Angels – Kiss & Tell

“Yes, it’s a bit shit, but it’s also a bit fun”

Tim: Remember these Czech girls from last August? They’ve got a new song out about kissing, which is good, because a song about anything more than that would probably land people in very deep trouble indeed.

Tom: Crikey, Tim. I mean, you’re right, but… crikey.

Tim: Yes, it’s a bit shit, but, well, it’s also a bit fun, with the video and the ‘dance routine’ all taking place in a milkshake bar (because obviously they can’t go to a proper bar) and a fairly LOLsome story about fake-numbering.

Tom: Did you… did you just say “LOLsome”? Because firstly, it isn’t, and secondly, you just said “LOLsome”.

Tim: Sorry, granddad – I’m just speaking their language. The chorus is pretty good, and probably hits its peak at about the second or third time, because it’s take a while to get you in the mood but then does become a bit tiresome once you’ve heard it nine or ten times, with no variation towards the end of the song.

Tom: Yep. Even a broken-down middle eight can’t save this from the fact that it does Go On A Bit. Oddly, I think the return from the middle eight reminds me of a Kylie song, but I can’t remember why.

Tim: They still, presumably, have their ‘comparable to One Direction’s’ fan base we were told about last time (though I’ve since realised that could just mean that someone’s once written ‘Compared to One Direction’s fan base, 5Angels’s is practically nothing’).

Tom: Ha. Yes, that’s true.

Tim: They’ve been touring with Union J and are currently touring schools because, well, skipping lessons is naughty. Well done everyone, I’m sure they’ll be at the Grammys just as soon as they’re allowed to stay up that late.

Margaret Berger – Scream

“It’s like a robotic ballet dancer”

Tim: Tom, upon discussing Human Race a few months back you expressed a slightly disdain for restraint in dance tracks of that ilk; have this.

https://soundcloud.com/margaret-berger/scream

Tim: And I reckon that’s very good indeed.

Tom: There’s certainly less restraint there, but I’m not sold. Maybe it’s just a mood I’m in — perhaps I’d be more charitable on a different day — but I’m finding that anything that isn’t Properly Uplifting is just kind of washing over me at the moment.

Tim: Exactly the sort of thing we’d expect, with a big beat in a wonderful upbeat and singalongable chorus. Calming down quite a bit for the middle eight, which almost serves to provide a brief respite, in case one was needed.

Tom: You reckon that’s upbeat and — I’m not sure this is a word — singalongable?

Tim: It’s definitely a word, and yes, certainly the chorus. I’ve got it in my head as a right earworm.

Tom: It’s certainly got a beat to it, but ‘upbeat’ to me implies happiness, and this song just doesn’t. It’s like a robotic ballet dancer: the performance may be perfect, but it just doesn’t seem to have soul.

Tim: Fair enough. I’m sure someone will be along soon enough to put a massive donk on it, so perhaps that’ll help you?

Tom: You know, that might actually work.

Tim: Great track, and let’s hope she’s not going anywhere, as this year’s Norwegian Eurovision entrant damn sure isn’t going to be able to replace her. There’s no need to link to it.

Say Lou Lou – Everything We Touch

“You’re not bored for all of it?”

Tim: Say Lou Lou are a Sweedish pair who, somehow, we’ve never covered; not to worry, though, as we can make things right with this, by far their best number to date.

Tim: The press release’s two killer words are ‘quietly devastating’, and that’s a weird way to describe a song.

Tom: Yep. That’s the kind of language you use to describe an excellent novel or a terrible diagnosis.

Tim: On the other hand, I can ever so slightly see where they’re coming from, but not in a great way, because the only ‘quietly’ bit is the first verse which is basically quiet in the sense that I’m slightly bored.

Tom: That feeling holds with me through most of the track. You’re not bored for all of it?

Tim: Absolutely not – I reckon the rest of it is brilliant, and will take the devastating to be a good thing, because I suppose language changes and all that. The melody is great, the production is great, the vocals are great – this is a great track, really.

Tom: I’m just not feeling it: I can see what they’re aiming for, but it just seems to plod, and end in a really unsatisfying way. I can’t fault the vocals or the production — it’s just the track itself.

Tim: Suit yourself – I love it.

Celeste Buckingham – I’m Not Sorry

“More than anything, what a brilliant voice.”

Tom: This got sent into us with the simple, one-word commentary: “Slovakia”.

Tim: I was upset when I saw they weren’t doing Eurovision this year, thinking back to the lovely I’m Still Alive. Then I remembered the more recent Don’t Close Your Eyes and thanked every god I’d ever heard of.

Tom: Now, I’ve not heard of her before, but clearly someone has, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a densely-referenced Wikipedia article.

Tim: Blimey. Alright then, let’s hope it’s worth it.

Tom: And that’s quite the Big Belter, isn’t it? Great production, great message, not a bad melody — but more than anything, what a brilliant voice.

Tim: It really really is. When I arrived at the first chorus, I had yet to be swayed over, hadn’t paid much attention and was all, ‘yeah, this is dull, move on.’ Then it kept going, and that voice really drew me in.

Tom: I reckon there’s a missed opportunity for a full-on BLAST return from the middle eight; just building it back up doesn’t seem to work as well. But that’s a minor complaint for a song like this. The repeat-until-fade at the end surprised me: I haven’t heard one of those in a pop song for a long time.

Tim: Yeah – that would be my minor complaint to your return from the middle eight. Not a deal-breaker, but it’d be nice if there was a proper finish. A good song, for International Women everywhere.

Saturday Reject: Niko – Here I Am Again

“This did very well in Sweden, so let’s do it all over again”

Tim: This here is a song that Latvia chose not to put through to Eurovision this year. Before you listen, though, I’d like you to listen to David Lindgren’s Melodifestivalen entry from last year, especially the chorus.

Tim: And to think we were surprised by Cascada last year. It’s quite something, isn’t it? Part of me thinks “sod off, dickhead, this is an entire rip-off”, but part of me admires their balls in doing this, and especially the way that he’s even kept some of the lyrics the same.

Tom: To be fair, they’re both a bit Till The World Ends, but yes – this is a bit closer than you might expect.

Tim: A bit? Mate, they’re practically in bed with each other. I don’t know if Niko wrote the song or if it was someone else, but the thought process was clearly “yes, this did very well in Sweden and they really know their stuff, so let’s do it all over again”.

Tom: And steal Daft Punk’s helmets while they’re at it.

Tim: Part of me, I must admit, wishes this had gone through, just so I could hear the howls of outrage that tens of thousands of fans would emanate. But still, we have a baking song. That’s good enough for me.

Tom: We… we have a what?

Tim: Oh yes – the winning song is called Cake to Bake, sung from the perspective of an incredibly adventurous guy (who’s designed the Great Wall of China, been to space and discovered Atlantis) suddenly presented with a WHOLE NEW CHALLENGE. The (wonderfully catchy) chorus line is “I’ve got a cake to bake, I’ve got no clue at all; I’ve got a cake to bake, I’ve never done this before,” and it’s significantly more enjoyable than this year’s other cake-themed entry.