Nicely executed ballad, whatever way you look at it.
Tim: Another day, another pop act going…
Tom: Rock? Really?
Tim: No – actually in completely the other direction and bringing us a nice ballad instead to calm us down.
Tom: Whew. So, One Phone Call. Is this about heading to jail, by any chance?
Tim: And that’s quite nice, isn’t it?
Tom: Well, yes. Yes it is.
Tim: Nice message, until you consider the deeper implications – you’re the one person I’d call if I ever got in trouble, fine, but also you’re the one person I know who’s dedicated enough to put in the work to sort me out. Less of a statement of my love than that I recognise that you care for me, though I suppose that’s quite nice as well. Oh, I don’t know. Nicely executed ballad, whatever way you look at it, and a nice demonstration that they’re not just back here to jump on the back of One Direction’s sound.
Tom: Backstreet Boys are now, to an extent, Something for the Mums (and some Dads). And this’ll probably go down rather well for them.
Tim: Quite why they’ve put this out now is beyond me, because they’ve only just released In A World Like This to radio stations in America, but never mind – in the end Icona Pop’s strategy paid off, so what do I know.
Tim: Another day, another pop act going vaguely rock, another great lyric: “I don’t care if I’m a misfit, I like it better than the hipster bullshit.”
Tim: Lots of very rock n roll stuff going on here: musically we’ve got plenty of drums and extended guitar solos, and lyrically it’s CRAZY: ripped clothes, sticking middle fingers up, getting wasted – gosh, such raunchiness and clear proof that she is definitely rock n roll.
Tom: Do I detect a little bit of sarcasm there, Tim?
Tim: Me, sarcastic? Eh, possibly. Rock n roll or not, however, this is clearly still pop enough to be a recognisable Avril Lavigne track, and actually a fairly good one.
Tom: Yep: but a modern one in terms of production.
Tim: Indeed, and I say well done to everybody involved – even the lyricist, because I still like that hipster line.
Tom: Given that one of the credited lyricists is Avril Lavigne herself, and another is her husband Chad Nickelback – no, seriously – that’s a bit of a surprise.
Tim: UPDATE of a few weeks later: the proper video’s out. It is, quite frankly, incredible. A joy to behold.
Tim: It’s an ambitious title for the new album’s lead single and film theme; are they genuinely claiming to be this good? (Spoiler: no.)
Tim: So, a song called Best Song Ever, and a video that may well make the shortlist for Worst Video Ever.
Tom: Crikey, that’s a video for the fans and no mistake. The actual track kicks in more than two minutes in. And, well, Zayn in drag is just confusing me.
Tim: Oh, well, what isn’t confusing about that? I will say, though, that they did a good make up job on Louis and Niall, so well done there. But as for the rest of it, man, what a group of utter arseholes they come across as.
Tom: I know, right? You ain’t Nirvana, and that ain’t your guitar.
Tim: OH, LOOK AT ME, I’M LIAM. I’M GOING TO KNOCK OVER A STATUE FOR NO REASON. OOH, LET’S ALL BE ROCK AND ROLL, LET’S CAUSE MEANINGLESS DESTRUCTION JUST BECAUSE WE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. Spare a thought for the poor people whose desks you kicked over, possibly, or whose paperwork you threw all over the place? No, of course you didn’t. You’re too busy being SELFISH and FAMOUS and FRIENDS WITH JAMES CORDEN and TOTAL UTTER BELLENDS and now you’ve FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE. You BIG GROUP OF DICKS.
Tom: As for the music…
Tim: Okay, I can calm down for the music. It’s a bit different, isn’t it?
Tom: Um. Not really? It sounds like most other One Direction tracks to me. And yet again, we’ve got someone ripping off Baba O’Riley for their intro! That’s more blatant than most.
Tim: Strange, isn’t it? I make that the third time we’ve seen that in barely a year. But if I were feeling charitable (a challenge, given the video), I’d say it’s less a rip-off but more an indicator of what’s coming up: we’ve (fortunately) left the intense boringness of Little Things far behind us, and instead have this, probably the most convincing sign yet that guitar music is on its way back. One Direction are going ROCK, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Tom: I mean, theoretically there’s a great number of ways, but most of them will end up with jail time.
Tim: True, so let’s leave that thought there and move on. It’s apparently Harry’s favourite of all they’ve done, although on Radio 1 he was clear to point out that they’re not yet Slipknot, which probably doesn’t really need saying but there you go.
Tom: Oh, now that I want to see. One Direction putting on masks and shouting into mics. Yes please. I imagine it’d sound something like this. Or maybe this.
Tim: That Justin Bieber one is apparently not available to view on mobile devices, which makes me incredibly glad I’ve only got my phone with me right now. To aid One Direction in their journey, they’ve pulled together songwriters behind such rock and roll masterpieces as Westlife’s Flying Without Wings and Queen Of My Heart, and Kate Winslet’s What If, who have in fact done a rather good job with this.
Tom: As they should: One Direction’s management have their pick of tracks and songwriters right now. If they put out a dud, something’s gone very, very wrong.
Tim: The lyrics display a slight lack of memory – “I think it went oh-oh-oh, I think it went yeah-yeah-yeah” when clearly it doesn’t – but we can just put that down to how much fun can be had when dancing, and otherwise the lyrics are first rate – “her daddy was a dentist, said I had a dirty mouth”.
Tom: We have a completely different definition of “first rate”. And that autotune on “Georgia Rose” – 3:28 in the video – is abysmal.
Tim: Really? I can’t hear that. But anyway, combining those lyrics with the aforementioned rather good tune (and ignoring the abhorrent video), I’m all for this.
Here’s a shock: it doesn’t have a plinky-plonky piano.
Tom: Oh my word, they’re still bloody going.
Tim: You’re surprised? Eight years isn’t a particularly long time for a band like this.
Tom: I just kind of assumed they’d slowly fallen into oblivion. Only they’ve not: they’ve got a greatest hits album, which is a bold move for a band that’s only had three actual albums. And, of course, the greatest album has an optimistically-placed new track on it.
But here’s a shock: it doesn’t have a plinky-plonky piano. Instead… it’s got a ukulele.
Tom: At least my normal criticism — that all their tracks sound the same — doesn’t apply here. It’s proper Radio 2 playlist material, this, though; if it got any more middle-of-the-road it’d hit the central reservation.
Tim: Nicely put; sometimes, though, middle of the road is alright, and I quite like this, in a pleasant and entirely inoffensive manner.
Tom: With one exception, of course: what is with the sudden bizarre electronic pitch-shift before the final chorus? It’s the one bit of the song that stands out to me, and I actually rather like it: I wonder what they could do when paired up with a producer that was less… well, generic?
Tim: Probably, and I sort of hate myself for saying this, come out with something that’s ‘relevant’ and likely to be Radio 1 playlisted. Still, this’ll do.
Tim: Indie pop for you, now, from London, but don’t worry – it’s not the boring type or the loud type. Just, the nice type.
Tom: Bloody hell, I don’t they could be any more “London indie pop” if they tried.
Tim: You see? The nice type. The happy, chirpy upbeat sounds of, according to the band, “the daft optimism of being in love, when you just want to run away with that person, dream about being together forever, the house, the dog, and nothing else matters.”
Tom: Yep, I can’t sum that up any better. It’s just genuinely nice. I was pleasantly surprised when it came back for one more verse and chorus at the end: it’d have worked without, but it didn’t overstay its welcome by any means.
Tim: There’s a fair political message in it for anybody in Russia, with the two blokes kissing in front of the Kremlin at the end; you can pay attention to that if you want, or alternatively you can just take Moscow for one of many potential romantic places to head off to.
Tom: Given that Putin has essentially banned being “out and proud” in Russia, I’d say it’s a message worth paying attention to anywhere.
Tim: Well, that’s very true. Either way, there’s no denying the ‘drum your hand on the table’ element of the music, which I often find a good test for music of this ilk, so I decree this to be good. Very good, in fact.
Tim: Remember how on Wednesday we mentioned Leona Lewis’s version of Burn getting leaked, and I said that that’s something that often happens? Well, this was recorded back in December 2010, and would have been released had they not lost out to Matt Cardle.
Before you listen to it, know this: it sounds exactly like you think it’s going to sound.
Tom: Crikey, it does as well. That’s utterly, entirely predictable. Which, I suppose, is kind of the point. I might have been surprised by the key change, if it wasn’t for the rising strings that telegraphed it coming.
Tim: This is… ludicrous. Forever Young can justifiably be described as one of the best-known tracks of pretty much ever. Wikipedia lists it as being used in six TV shows, several films and a multitude of advert campaigns, and even if the young folk have never heard the original they’ve almost certainly heard that nonsense that Jay-Z made of it, or the cover that went huge thanks to The O.C., or possibly the German rap version.
Tom: Although probably not the German rap version.
Tim: I don’t know, maybe. But now…well, you know that thing where you type the beginning of a question into Google and get the LOLs from the suggestions? Type “forever young” into the YouTube search box, and take a look. Go on, I dare you.
Tom: Ouch. I got One Direction as the third option — and before Alphaville, who originally sang it.
Tim: Indeed. And you know what the worst thing is? The worst thing about the fact that this fairly limp cover version by a now-getting-somewhat-annoying boyband has become the second most searched for version of a once great song?
Tom: That it’s a pretty good track?
Tim: Bang on. I actually really like this, with the just good enough harmonies, the overblown strings, the key change and the 2 and 4 beat claps at the end. It’s fantastic. Syco may be one of the most ruinous music labels out there, but damn, they can come up with the goods.
Tom: Our regular reader Roger sends this in. It’s a live performance, but let me assure you — having checked the other performances — this is how it’s supposed to sound.
Tom: It is, to say the least, “stripped down”.
Tim: Yeah – you could say that.
Tom: Perhaps the single version has a bit… well, a bit more to it? Because the last minute or so of this track would make a great intro, but that’s about all I can say.
Tim: Hmm. You’re right – when it starts to build up a bit it gets a bit good, but that’s really a long way away from being the sort of big summer tune you might expect to be performed there.
Tom: There’s a cracking track in there, but it just seems incomplete right now. For a “world premiere performance”, I’d expect more.
Tim: Credit where it’s due, though: the dancing was fully present, and all the more for there not being much to dance to.
Tom: A bit of history that I’ve just found: she’s 15, and her first shot at fame was when she was 10 and on Sweden’s Got Talent. It took a while for her to become a pop star: but she’s certainly made it now.
Tim: Except for YouTube commenter SpieWacki: “I love this song so much I bought 894 copies of her album. I think her mum must have bought the other one.”
Tom: She’s a damn good singer, as she should be given the title of the show she won. And there’s nothing wrong with this song…
Tim: There certainly isn’t – in fact, there are a lot of good parts in there.
Tim: There’s that, screaming out in your face, yes…then there’s also the beginning of the verses from Mad World, and the chorus start from Titanium (with, in fact, the exact same lyric). Hmm. Lots of good bits, but not many that I haven’t heard before.
Tom: It’s like someone’s put all those songs in a blender, and what’s come out is not a delicious smoothie, but some kind of… mush.
Tim: We got sent this, which is three minutes and forty eight seconds of brilliance, and thirty seconds of utter rot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyO5hE8lSKc
Tom: An “unlisted” video on YouTube. One upvote, four downvotes, at the time of writing. Tons of stock footage to make the video look more expensive. Slightly, ineffably ‘off’ editing in parts. Someone’s trying to punch way above their weight. Normally I’d be mocking that, but… they’ve actually done a pretty good job.
Tim: The verses, the chorus, the backing track, the snare drum buildups – it all sounds like a perfect fit for a 2003 club night out.
Tom: Ouch. That’s a much sharper burn than I suspect you think it is.
Tim: It’s a burn at all? Wasn’t meant to be. What’s wrong with a 2003 club night out?
Tom: Well, it’s 2013 for a start. But still, it’s not a bad track at all.
Tim: Except. Except. Oh, except for that awful, dire, shockingly terrible middle eight. It comes out of nowhere, it goes back to nowhere, it doesn’t remotely fit in – what the hell’s it doing there? What is the point of it? I’d be angry about it, except I’m a bit confused by it, because it has no place here at all. It sounds a bit like it’s snuck in from another video, Wreck-It Ralph style, and has thought “Oh, I might as well stay.”
Tom: Ha. There’s a movie in that. Well, I suppose there was, and it was Wreck-It Ralph, but you get my point.
Tim: All I can say that it’s NOT AT ALL WELCOME. To be honest, I’d be happy if it ended just before he joins in – three minutes is a decent enough length, and the end bit doesn’t add all that much. So basically, his thirty seconds has made me wish the whole song was a minute and a half shorter. NICE ONE SUNSHINE.
“It sounds like it could be from a High School Musical film.”
Tim: Matt Cardle: one of the less impressive X Factor winners. Melanie C: easily the best post-Spice Girls Spice Girl. So let’s combine the two, and see what happens.
Tim: I promise I mean this in a good way: it sounds like it could be from a High School Musical film.
Tom: Crikey. I know you mean that as a positive thing, but it’s a difficult sell.
Tim: Admittedly “I wanna get under your body” probably wouldn’t make it past the Disney execs, but for comparison, I recommend Can I Have This Dance, the peak of the franchise in terms of cheese (so much so that if you stay with it until the two minute mark you’ll hear Gabrielle singing in harmony with herself).
Tom: More than that: Cardle and C have a patchwork of musical… well, shall we say “homages” to other tracks? I’m sure I’ve heard most of this before, just in a different form, and not put together quite as slickly. You’re right: it’s a Disney number.
Tim: It didn’t hit me until the second time I heard it come back from the middle eight, but it’s got all the hallmarks: a vibrant chorus with a decent earworm for a hook, a pause before said chorus to emphasise said vibrancy, instrumentation that’s as standard as it possibly could be, a quiet middle eight coming back into a triumphant closing section, and then the killer feature of two people singing at each other and not really paying attention to what the other is saying.
Tom: Russell T Davies describes dialogue as “just two monologues clashing”. This pretty much sums that up.
Tim: Top that off with a slight laziness when working the harmonies, and you’ve got everything you need. This is a textbook Disney song, and it’s pretty great for it.
