Author: Tim

Tegan & Sara – Closer

This is genuinely lovely synthpop

Tom: Our resident Radio Insider, Matt, sent this the other day. He said we’d like it. I think he’s right.

Tim: Ah – a lyric video made with effort. And, apparently, by a designer who’s recently been given access to an unlimited supply of stock images. “Ooh, an airplane interior, that’ll be fun. And that fox looks nice – I’ll put him as well. Oh, and I do like those escalators – they’ll go so well after the empty classroom.”

Tom: It is weird, isn’t it? But that doesn’t change the fact that this is genuinely lovely synthpop – a bit poppier than the Sound of Arrows stuff you like, but nevertheless lovely synthpop. Which, considering Tegan and Sara are known for indie rock, is no small achievement.

Tim: No – it really sounds like a track by an experienced act. It’s got an air of a slightly withdrawn Icona Pop about it, and I like it a lot.

Tom: Maybe it’s just the glorious sunset that I can see out my window as I write this, but this is putting me in a really lovely mood. I played it again straight after it ended – which is pretty much the highest accolade I can give a song.

Tim: Ah, well I do that with a lot of tracks, but here it’s not so I can find something to be snarky about (well, except those pictures).

Tom: The track’s been out since September, but the album’s not released until next month – and if this is any sign of what’s to come, then I think it’s going to be a blinder.

Saturday Flashback: Magnus Carlsson – Wrap Myself In Paper

Where the hell was the key change?

Tim: We’ll finish the Christmas week with this 2006 track. According to the lyrics, we should do this on the 17th, but this year that’s a Monday; needless to say I’m incredibly annoyed I forgot to do this as a Saturday Flashback last year.

Tim: Let’s get the disappointment out of the way first: that was so clearly building up to a key change, so where the hell was it?

Tom: Musical blueballs, Tim. And I’m not sure, but I think the 90s just came back to haunt me. Talk about ghosts of Christmas past. That’s not a bad thing – I just reckon it was about a decade too late.

Tim: Mr Carlsson has recorded a number of Christmas covers (notably of Mariah Carey and John Lennon), but this is his first original track, and it comes with such a disturbing idea that I’m really rather glad he didn’t do another.

Tom: Oh good, I’m glad it wasn’t just me that picked that out.

Tim: Good lord, no. Dedication to your loved one is all well and good, but he’s going to be wrapped up under the tree for eight days. No food, no water. And to be honest, however much he may want to provide her with a perfect present what with all his love and all that, his rotting carcass is probably not what she’s going to expect, or really appreciate.

Tom: The worst part is that “It’s Christmas in a week and a day” could easily be replaced by “just one day”, or even “Christmas is just hours away” or something like that. I know songs don’t have to make sense, but this is more noticeable than most.

Tim: “Did you get what you were hoping for?” “Sort of – my boyfriend promised his everlasting love, which was nice and all that, but now I’ve got his corpse to keep forever, and it’s starting to smell a bit, so am I allowed to throw it out?”

Alphabeat – X-mas (Let’s Do It Again)

Sleighbells and all sorts. It’s lovely.

Tim: Right – I’m on to a new bottle over here, how are you doing?

Tom: Considering taking it up.

Tim: You should, it’s wonderful. Now, I got to see this lovely band on tour last week, and they really do put on a stonking (yep) performance. There’s only one criticism I have: they didn’t play this.

Tim: Disappointing: the use of ‘X-mas’ in the title, and the fade out ending. It’s really not hard to write a convincing end to a song, so can’t you at least try?

Tom: Also, the synth is a blatant style-rip from Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime”, which – let’s face it – is pretty much the worst Christmas song to rip off the style from.

Tim: Also notable about that song: “simply” is in the wrong place in that line for it to mean what he means. Think about it.

Tom: I’m not trusting your Drunk Logic, but now you’ve pointed it out: that “simply” is just meaningless in context. It’s not being compared to anything. It’s just there to fill in two beats. God damn it, McCartney, this is the “in which we live in” from Live and Let Die all over again.

Tim: But appointing (I know that’s not the reverse of disappointing, but it should be): the rest of it. Sleighbells and all sorts. It’s lovely. A traditional Alphabeat song – even if it’s not got the most upbeat message, it’s still sung in a very happy way, and for anybody listening casually all it’ll do is reinforce the Christmas spirit. JOYOUS.

Unfortunately, as I said, it’s not got the most upbeat message. We started this week with “I love Christmas” and (probably) “I love you lots, wait a sec”, but now we’ve a Pogues-style “our relationship kind of sucks but it’s Christmas so let’s not split up”. There are two ways to interpret that: the charitable way is “I know you’re about to dump me, but don’t, because this should be a happy time”. That’s all well and good – happy, festive, all that. Just what we want from Alphabeat. And what we’ve got.

Tom: That’s charitable? That sounds like a bloody awful Christmas to me.

Tim: Charitable if we’re discussing the singer’s meaning. Compare it to the alternative subtext, which I’m almost ashamed came to me: “I know you’re about to dump me, but if we stay together you’ll have to get me a present and I, knowing you’re about to dump me, will happily get you a crap one. I win.”

I’M SORRY. I’m sure that’s not how the song works. THE SONG IS LOVELY. I LIKE IT.

Tom: I think Tim’s starting to sob into his port now, readers.

Robin Stjernberg – Scars

Children are gits.

Tim: Slightly sad video, but [SPOILER ALERT] it gets better.

Tim: So, singer implies he got bullied at school, makes up the fact that a hot girl saved him (because let’s be honest, that sort of thing just doesn’t happen in real life) and uses that as a message to tell all the uncool kids that life will be alright.

Tom: Mm. I’m always wary of the “saved by a guardian angel” message, because in real life they don’t tend to actually arrive. What would actually happen is that the blonde girl would become just as much of a pariah. Children are gits.

Tim: True. But, cynical as we’re being, I can’t help thinking that it’s lovely. Especially when it comes with a chorus that’s as brilliant as this one is.

Tom: Ah, now there I can agree with you. And it’s a rare singer who can actually pull off the screaming-over-the-final-chorus bit – he’s got the pipes for it.

Tim: It reminds me a lot of Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger – same sort of ‘you’ll get through this’ message, same ridiculous amount of effort from the singer, similarly big chorus and instrumentation to emphasise that and the same extra backup in the last choruses – and that’s a very good thing indeed. Two songs in, and this boy’s yet to put a foot wrong, in my opinion.

Icona Pop – We Got The World

In a similar vein, but largely absent of what we didn’t like.

Tim: Cast your mind back six months, and we weren’t all that keen on I Love It, their last release. For a few reasons.

Tom: And just like last time, I’ve got to add a quick video warning here, for what the BBFC would describe as “occasional, brief nudity”.

Tim: This is in a similar vein to the first, but fortunately is absent of much of what we didn’t like.

Tom: Yep. This is actually a song, and an incredibly positive and unbeat to that as well.

Tim: There’s a much better melody, with less of the plain shouting. Yes, it’s still present, because that’s their style, but it’s in just the right quantity to get the idea across but not outstay their welcome. Most importantly of all, though, it’s got exactly the same enthusiasm for absolutely everything that was there before, and I think it’s brilliant.

Tom: Right. And for once that’s reflected in the video. I want to go back to Vegas. Preferably with them.

Gabrielle Aplin – The Power of Love

What I’m about to say may make me seem like a monster.

Tim: Yes, it’s a song from an advert, and that is precisely why we are discussing it. Because sod the song, I want to talk about the advert.

Tom: Right, well, you can keep me out of that. I’ve been in Australia, remember? Haven’t seen it.

Tim: Well, here it is so you can catch up.

Tim: Now, I said ‘talk’ above, though that should really be replaced with ‘rant’. I’ll get the nice bit out of the way: that song is absolutely lovely, it really is. This is the full version, and it’ll do wonders to calm you down and relax you if you’re like me, and you’ve just watched that advert. BECAUSE IT’S WRONG.

Tom: Oh blimey. Brace yourself, readers, I can see what’s coming here. Tim’s going off on a rant. For the record, I think the song’s a perfectly reasonable cover, and beautifully sung, although I think it’s far too downbeat compared to the original material.

Tim: Okay. What I’m about to say may make me seem like a monster. I’ve heard that the advert makes many people (including my aunt) cry buckets, to whom I say: you’re IDIOTS. Why? Because you’ve SKIPPED OVER THE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS.

He’s a snowman. He’s got a girlfriend. He wants to buy her a present, and goes on a long and arduous journey to do it. Lovely idea. No problem with it at all. The first 78 seconds are sweet, charming, and happy. But THEN WE SEE WHAT HE’S BOUGHT HER. After miles of trekking, he has chosen TO BUY HER A HAT. And A SCARF. And GLOVES. So basically, CLOTHES TO KEEP HER WARM. Except that she, too, like him, IS A SNOWMAN. So basically, SHE’LL MELT. AND DIE. He is KILLING HIS GIRLFRIEND. ACTUALLY MURDERING HER. And we’re supposed to LIKE THAT? Is that how things are now? The spirit of Christmas is all about HOMICIDAL SNOW PEOPLE? FINE. But DON’T GET EMOTIONAL. Unless the emotion is PURE RAGING HATRED, which is entirely appropriate when presented with an EVIL MURDERER.

Tom: Tim there, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll just note that this Power of Love is a hell of a lot better.

Tim: AN EVIL MURDERING BASTARD OF A SNOWMAN.

Olly Murs feat. Flo Rida – Troublemaker

The music is astonishingly good.

Tom: Two irritating musicians team up and make an absolutely brilliant track.

Tim: I will judge this by the cover and say that right from the off I don’t have good feelings about this.

Tom: Do yourself a favour, though, and just listen – don’t watch the video yet.

Tom: The music is astonishingly good: pitch-perfect pop. Flo Rida doesn’t say anyone’s name. The rap bridge isn’t annoying. The chorus is amazing.

Tim: You’re wrong, on at least one and two-halves out of four counts. Specifically, 3, because it really is, and I’d say amazing and astonishingly good would be pushing it slightly.

Tom: Perhaps my tolerance for rap bridges is getting higher, then. Or perhaps I’m prepared to tolerate them on summer tracks – because this is a summer track, albeit one released in the depths of winter.

Tim: Well, that may be true, but for anybody who’s in a similar boat to me, I recommend this rapper-free version, which really raises the question: what the hell is the point of Flo Rida? Nothing is improved by his presence, and at least two tracks (this and, if you’ll cast your mind back two years, The Saturdays’ Higher) are improved by his withdrawal.

Tom: But oh, my word, the video. Irritating, leprechaun-smug boy meets obnoxious, socially-oblivious girl, interrupted by a swaggering, show-off git. Could they have made anyone, anyone at all in the video sympathetic?

Tim: I don’t know – the bloke trying to get her attention in the record shop isn’t too annoying. Does that count?

Tom: Not nearly enough.

fun. – Carry On

My word, he’s got a good voice.

Tom: Okay, it’s time to find out. Are Fun–

Tim: Actually, it’s–

Tom: Nope. I’m deliberately ignoring their ridiculous name stylisation there – really a one-hit hipster wonder, or can they back it up? “Some Nights”, the second single, managed number 7 – so here’s the third.

Tom: First of all: where the hell have I heard that piano intro before?

Tim: Not sure, because I haven’t. Does go on a bit, though.

Tom: And second: my word, he’s got a good voice. Distinctive, but not distracting: to do the first voice almost a capella is brave, but he can do it.

Tim: Yes, he can. And speaking of that first verse, I was worried for a while that this was going to be their “look at us, we can do a meaningful ballad” track which are so often a pile of cack (YES I’M LOOKING AT YOU, ONE DIRECTION, WITH YOUR ED SHEERAN-PENNED PILE OF BOLLOCKS).

Tom: I believe the technical term is “sack of bollocks”, but yes, you’re right. Is this that ‘meaningful’ ballad though?

Tim: Fortunately, no, and thus doesn’t get me worked up in quite the same way.

Tom: No-one would have predicted “We Are Young” going to number 1, let alone still being in the charts now, and yet – there it is. And now, they’ve got a Celtic-influenced track with a big electric guitar solo and a positive message? I can only hope this does well, because it deserves to.

Danny Saucedo – Delirious

That’s a lighters-in-the-air moment and no mistake.

Tim: We didn’t feature his last one, All In My Head, barely a couple of months old, because I didn’t like it much and didn’t have much to say about it, and those are basically my two criteria. This one, on the other hand, fits into both of those nicely.

Tim: This is odd – it’s a strange deviation from the musical journey he seems to have been on, from his pop beginnings in E.M.D. through to drum and bass, via dance tracks, a half and half tune and then full-on D&B like All In My Head.

Tom: If he can keep shifting genres this well, though, that can only be a good thing: after all, Robbie Williams managed to put out an entire album of swing covers, and that seemed to do well. There are some artists where you know exactly what you want the new single will sound like – and some where it’s a good thing when they mix it up.

Tim: That’s true, and I prefer this so I don’t have a problem with it.

Tom: Yep, it helps that this is a really good track.

Tim: I do have a problem with the first line of the chorus, which gets me suddenly wanting to sing the chorus of Jar of Hearts, and I slightly wish it wouldn’t take quite so long to get get going, but once the first chorus hits it’s all plain sailing. I’m happy with it.

Tom: What a final chorus, too: that’s a lighters-in-the-air moment and no mistake.

Tim: It really is…although, and I know I’m dragging this out a bit from yesterday, this could easily be a JLS track and if it was I probably wouldn’t like it.

Tom: Are you having a crisis of confidence or something, Tim? What with this and your recent ‘not sure about schlager’ thing, I’m wondering if you’re going through some kind of mid-blog crisis.

Tim: Oh, I don’t know.

Carina Dahl – NLTO (Not Like The Others)

A largely inoffensive piece of pop

Tim: No idea what the point of the acronym is, since the title also includes the expansion of it, but never mind. Prepare for an utterly gratuitous profanity in the pre-chorus.

Tim: And that is a bit weird, actually, because the rest of NLTO (Not Like The Others) is so family-friendly, entirely standard pop that you’d expect from any current female act. Slightly reminiscent of the ‘shhh’ in the first Little Mix single – not there to do anything except be a bit “ooh, how rude!”

Tom: Considering that the association I had in my head was Sesame Street’s “One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others”, that was a bit surprising.

Tim: That aside, though, NLTO (Not Like The Others) is a largely inoffensive piece of pop, and I think one of very few singles that manages to sit perfectly on the fence between banger and ballad.

Tom: Yep. It’s difficult to sit on that fence: cracking piano intro, decent melody, and just the right amount of – to use a vague word – ‘oomph’.

Tim: Indeed, but this manages it – the vocals could all be underpinned by a gentle piano piece if so intended, but without much effort the energy in the backing could be cranked up to floorfiller status easily enough. Not many songs can do that, so top marks to NLTO (Not Like The Others).

Tom: I. (Indeed.)