Author: tom

Saturday Flashback: Seal – Amazing

AMAZING.

Tim: IDEA: we use music to prompt a discussion of current events.

Tom: Ooh, I got an idea! I’ve got this shark here. Shall I jump over it?

Tim: OH COME ON.

A couple of days ago some American university decided they wanted to stop a load of people having fun, and want to ban the word amazing. It seems we would both find this a bit annoying*, and so I present this 2009 track in response to them.

* MATHS tells me we’ve used the word amazing in a little over 13% of our posts. That’s quite a bit, isn’t it?

Tom: It’s a bit worrying, but not as worrying as the fact you bothered to work that out.

Tim: Here we have a track that celebrates the target of it being off drugs, but also makes sure the target is okay. I’ll be honest: I’ve never been a cokehead, so I don’t really know the difficulties involved, but I can imagine that being called ‘amazing’ by everyone, as the lyrics suggest, would make me feel much better than being called, say ‘really quite good, actually’ or ‘surprisingly healthy’.

Tom: “He doesn’t look too bad, you know, for someone who was out of his head last month.”

Tim: Indeed. And a song entitled ‘Very Satisfactory’ just wouldn’t sell. That would be a shame, because this is actually quite a good song. Despite the occasionally negative tones of the lyrics, the overall tone of the song is, well, amazing. Uplifting, powerful, all that malarkey, you’re AMAZING!

Tom: Excellent video as well – that’s how you do a “just stick him in front of a greenscreen, we’ll figure it out in post” video properly.

Tim: Also also, if we weren’t allowed to use that word, we wouldn’t have Inna’s track either, which would be a bit of a shame.

And finally, AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING.

Tom: Get it out of your system.

Tim: AMAZING.

Takida – You Learn

Ooh. I do like a good cello.

Tim: A few months old, but I’ve only just seen it so we’ll pretend it’s new.

Tom: I’ll look the other way if you will.

Tim: That’s very kind of you. Now, if you’ll cast your mind back some distance, you’ll recall that the last time we met these guys, they gave us a slow builder of a song that I liked and you thought sounded too much like Nickelback. And this time, they’ve got cellos!

Tom: Ooh. I do like a good cello.

Tim: But, if we’re honest, not a lot else has changed. The song still builds gradually adding an instrument or two per verse/chorus trasition, although the voice has changed a it – he singer sounds a bit less like he’s about to go out and kill people this time, and more like he’s about to go out and kill himself. I’m not sure that’s a massive improvement, but I can see how it would improve attendance at their live shows.

Tom: It works for Alice Cooper.

Tim: Ooh, blimey. Anyway, I would argue that the voice isn’t really all that important – what we have here is a lot of instrumentation, and that deserves to be appreciated. Not a huge amount happens during the first verse, but then when the drums hit for the chorus it steps up a gear (and I kind of had an urge to slap the singer and tell him to liven up a bit).

Tom: A proper, slow-build emotional track. I can get behind that.

Tim: And then with the horns for the closing section, it feels almost triumphant, especially with the flames going up in the background.

Tom: Damn right. That is how you do a Proper Big Track. Pity about the lengthy and useless credits, though. It’s not a film. That’s just silly.

Tim: It is silly, isn’t it? Especially since they will never, ever get watched, because people will scroll away or close the window when the videos finished. Oh well, silly people. Musically, though, I like this, but I’d love an instrumental version.

Tom: I want to do something, backed by this instrumental. I don’t know what it’d be, but I want it to be backed by this instrumental.

Jonas Oakland – Where Were You Last Night?

Well? Where were you?

Tim: Well? Where were you?

Tom: I’m not saying. By the way, don’t ask your mum why she’s got that smile on her face.

Tim: Already have done, actually – she said she’s still smirking from when you were trying to look seductive.

Tim: To be honest, it’s none of his business whatsoever where you were – he’s only asking because he broke up with you, immediately regretted it, and now demands to know your movements of the rest of the evening.

Tom: Well, that’s one of the creepiest second-person sentences I’ve ever read. And I’ve read Rule 34. (Obscure sci-fi literary reference ahoy!)

Tim: Yeah, so actually, don’t feel you have to answer him. Rude bastard. Also weird-looking as well, I think. Wow, get me being all judgmental.

Tom: I was about to say “he looks a little bit like you”, but I think I’ll keep that under my hat for now.

Tim: Hang on, just got to make a phone call.

Yep, she’s still laughing. Now, this is actually a rather good cover of Ankie Bagger’s late-1980s (and very late-1980s-sounding) hit, although it doesn’t contain the somewhat pointless key change of the original (pointless as it comes in about half a second before the song fades out). It’s got everything it needs to be a decent CLUB BANGER etc, and it also has the feeling in the vocals that lyrics like this demand, which almost comes as something of a surprise, really.

Tom: I didn’t have high hopes for this – I thought it’d be another generic club remix of an old song. In a way it is, but you’re right – the vocals do rescue it.

Tim: The song was also covered by Finnish ‘symphonic metal’ (apparently that’s a thing) band Nightwish a while ago as a B-side.

Tom: Symphonic metal is totally a thing. It’s also awesome. In small doses.

Tim: For some reason (and not the soon to be obvious one), that’s actually my favourite version, and so we shall all listen to it now. (If it really isn’t your thing, at least skip to 3:00 and give it fifteen seconds.)

Tom: Oh, that’s just… that’s just better. Although I did try to sing “You Give Love A Bad Name” to the introduction.

Foster The People – Pumped Up Kicks

“Constantly distracted by Background Percussion Man.”

Tim: Here’s a live performance. Even though we never do live performances here. I’ll explain in a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn2r48o0bs8

Tom: I was constantly distracted by Background Percussion Man during that video.

Tim: Fair enough.

Tom: Fair enough?! Have you seen the man? He’s grooving. Grooving like few men have ever grooved before.

Tim: Well, you’ve clearly forgotten what I get up to on the dancefloor, haven’t you. Anyway, I think we may be getting distracted here. I love this song, almost entirely because of that chorus. It is, in my view (and therefore it just is), utterly fantastic.

Tom: Now, that’s unusual for you; I’d have called you as saying it’s a bit boring. Why d’you like it so much?

Tim: Seriously? It has a brilliant tune (repeated often, but here not a bad thing), and the words – aside from not making much sense until you remember that ‘kicks’ is an American synonym for (what we two Brits, at least, call) ‘trainers’ – are great, with a ‘run run run, faster than my bullet’ sense of encouragement and enthusiasm.

Once you throw the verses in, though, it becomes a bit dodgy, because in the recorded version they’re all mushed up, so much so that it’s almost unlistenable (hence the live version).

Tom: Ah, the old Postal Service trick.

Tim: Yeah, and it’s as annoying for me here as it was there.

In their defense, there’s a good reason they’ve become mushed up: the lyrics, when listened to properly, turn the ‘faster than my bullet’ from a metaphor into an instruction*, and that’s really not radio-friendly (though that did apparently disappoint the band, who wanted it there as an anti-gun message to get people thinking and all that). But still, it goes a fair way to putting me off the whole song, which is a proper shame.

* “He’s found a six-shooter gun, in his dad’s closet, box of fun things…he’s coming for you, yeah, he’s coming for you”

Tom: You like it, then?

Tim: All in: I love the chorus, I’m not so keen on the verse. But it’s still one of my favourite tracks of the year.

Tom: How unexpected.

Saturday Flashback: Aqua – Spin Me A Christmas

Proper old-school.

Tim: One more Christmas song for you. And since it’s Christmas Eve, how about we make it a good one?

Tom: Wait, hang on – an Aqua single I haven’t heard of? Blimey. This should be… interesting.

Tom: Ah, “Presented in AquaScope” with a drum roll! Proper old-school.

Tim: Ahem, I think you mean ‘old-skool’. It was a sort of toe-dipping in the waters of a reunion, and it seemed to do the trick. The regurgitating of the Coca-Cola/red Santa always annoys me, but René’s portrayal of a drunken Santa stumbling into his igloo does somewhat make up for that…

Tom: When the other three arrived in the first scenes of the video, I thought “where’s René?”, and then immediately thought “wait, he’ll be playing Santa, of course”.

Tim: …as do the other lyrics such as ‘all the dreams of white Christmas are getting you wet’.

Tom: “Are you ready to get stuffed like a turkey” is in there somewhere too, as well.

Tim: And “this is the season where the Wham! song damages your head” – somewhat unfair, but also somewhat true.

Tom: And this isn’t a bad track, actually – if it wasn’t a novelty Christmas song, this’d be a fairly solid Aqua single on its own.

The Storm – My Crown

How do you fancy a sort of rock/schlager blend?

Tim: So, how do you fancy a sort of rock/schlager blend?

Tom: What, like Goldschlager?

Tim: Oh, Christ.

Tom: Yeah, sorry, my puns have been disappointing lately.

Tom: The introduction kicked in, and I thought “well, that’s OK”. Then the second introduction kicked in, and I thought “that’s excellent”. The chorus is great, the verse not so much.

Tim: Well, in my view, this is pretty good all over. It’s not perfect – could probably do with cutting thirty seconds or so, and I’d prefer it didn’t have a fade-out ending – but these negative points are outweighed by the good, which include, well, the rest of it, really.

Tom: Agreed. It almost sounds like a rockier version of ABBA.

Tim: One of the nice things is the way the intro gives no clue as to the rest of the track – that bass line really doesn’t sound like much like the rest of it, which is poppier even though there’s still quite a lot of melancholiness there. The piano/guitar/other stuff instrumentation all goes along nicely, and the tone of the vocals is ever so slightly disturbing. And that’s a good thing, I think.

Sub Focus – Falling Down

“Help me, Tim. I’m appreciating dubstep.”

Tom: Help me, Tim. I’m appreciating dubstep.

Sub Focus – Falling Down by Drop Cliff

Tom: I heard this on Zane Lowe’s Radio 1 show last week, and… well, I can’t explain it.

Tim: Well, I’m a minute and twenty seconds in and so far I think it’s gr- oh, hang on.

Tom: I thought I couldn’t stand dubstep – but somehow, as it’s started to cross over into the mainstream, it’s wormed its way into my head. It’s started to mutate into this kind of pop-dubstep thing that maintains that bass wub wub wub while not completely alienating the public at large.

Tim: Well, the standard dance stuff that’s more than a tad reminiscent of Pjanoo is okay – but those two sections where it all breaks down are just, well, pretty dire.

Tom: Yes, a couple of those wub wub wubs are absolutely ridiculous (the ones that sound like Elmer Fudd stuttering), but setting those aside it’s somehow listenable.

Tim: Okay, main question: what have you done with my Tom Scott? And what are you demanding for his return? I’ll go up to fifty pence, but after that you can keep him.

Tom: What’s wrong with me?

Tim: I don’t know, but I might me persuaded to go up to sixty if you only torture him a little bit.

Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull & The WAV.S – I Like How It Feels

That’s a smiley song if ever there was one.

Tim: There is a proper video of this, but it’s a six-minute palaver of faffery with no real added benefit.

Tom: There’s an innuendo in that last sentence somewhere, I’m sure.

Tim: No, I’ve given up on innuendo. Instead, I’ve started inserting the occasional vaguely rude word in the middle of sentences at random.

Tom: This should be fun.

Tom: Well, that’s a smiley song if ever there was one.

Tim: Isn’t it? Chirpy. Upbeat. Happy. Whistly. A repetitive PENIS message. Some surprisingly not particularly annoying rapping. I’m feeling good. You’re feeling good. Life is, basically, good. Feeling down? Stop it. You BREASTS shouldn’t.

Tom: Subtle.

Tim: This is a song with a message, and it conveys it nicely. Love it.

Tom: It sounds like a World Cup song, doesn’t it? With the crowd chanting in the background and everything. Could use a bit more tempo or a bit more bass, I reckon – after two minutes, I thought it was ready to end – but it’s nice enough.

Tim: As it happens, it sort of reminds me of another song, more in the general FORNICATION mood than the tune.

Tom: “Fornication”? Really? Anyway, what’s this other song?

Tim: That song is the equally chirpy, upbeat, happy and whistly You’re My Mate. Blimey, that’s ten years old now.

Tom: And Pitbull does look just a bit like Richard Fairbrass. (whistles) Taxi!

Saturday Flashback: Santa Quest – Santa’s A Scotsman

“Ridiculous? Or brilliant? I think brilliant.”

Tom: There are at least two things in this track that you’ll love, Tim. And I’ve got to say – even as someone who doesn’t like novelty Christmas songs, this still made me smile.

Santa’s A Scotsman by Santa Quest

Tom: The first one is, of course, the ridiculous “Scotland The Brave” guitar solo.

Tim: Ridiculous? Or brilliant? I think brilliant.

Tom: The second…

Tim: Really is quite something.

Tom: …it is a brilliant key change, isn’t it? It’s got a Proper Outro as well, which I always appreciate.

Tim: They are good, aren’t they? Also with a Proper Outro is Westlife’s Queen Of My Heart, which also has some lovely festive-sounding chiming bells. I mention this purely because for no apparent reason whatsoever I’ve recently fallen in love with it.

Tom: Bit of a history to this one: Radio 2’s Ken Bruce took it on himself to promote it when it came out five years ago, and has played it once a year ever since. And BBC Scotland briefly banned it for its negative stereotypes of Scotsmen (“loved everywhere he goes?”).

Tim: I’m guessing “too many pies, not enough exercise”.

Tom: Despite all that: it’s got quite a bit of traction Up North, apparently.

Tim: Good. And why shouldn’t it? Aside from the previously mentioned negative stereotypes, I suppose.

Tom: They’ve since tried to create a dodgy sequel. But nothing can really take away from that guitar solo and key change, can it?

Tim: Really not, no. That one also has a weirdly buff-looking Santa, who with his coat open looks more like a Ken doll than your average boyo from the valleys.

DJs From Mars feat. Fragma – Insane (In Da Brain)

Pretty much just hums along in the background.

Tom: My word, Fragma’s still releasing tracks? I was fairly sure that it’d be over for her by now. Well done her.

Tim: The video’s been around a couple of months, but we’re now getting a proper release. Well, according to stuff their record label sends out; it’s been available to buy on iTunes since the end of September.

ANYWAY, that’s not important. What is important is this video. Tell me, Tom, how do you rate your knowledge of popular music videos in general?

Tom: Well, not bad.

Tim: And now?

Tom: Not quite good enough.

Tim: Let’s be honest: the music pretty much just hums along in the background for most of that, because there isn’t really much to the verses, and the video’s far too interesting for that to matter.

Tom: I got a lot of those references – even the view from the train window – but I suspect about half of them were lost on me.

Tim: Having said that about the music, though – every now and again, when Kylie or Lady Gaga comes along, that chorus appears, and you realise that it’s a bloody brilliant chorus. Then there’s the second key-shifted part of the chorus with Rihanna or Britney, and it’s even better. And when it drops back to the verse? Well, you just concentrate on the video again.

Tom: I tried listening to it without the video. It wasn’t really worth it.

Tim: Perhaps not. But as a musical accompaniment to the video, I think it’s great.