Author: tom

Donkeyboy – City Boy

It’s got a bit of Röyksopp about it.

Tim: See? I said we’d have more of them soon.

Tom: You promised, you delivered.

Tim: Have I ever let you down?

Tim: This has been around a few weeks now, but it’s only just here because, well, I’ve only just started liking it.

Tom: Well, I took to it straight away – it’s got a bit of Röyksopp about it, and that’s generally a good thing.

Tim: I’m not sure why it took a while for me to get on with it – the overly synthesised vocals, probably, and while they still grate a bit the rest of it more or less much makes up for them. The underlying musicy stuff is pretty good – nice tune, decent dancey beat, if that’s your sort of thing, which it should be and all that – and while it’s not quite as good as Ambitions, it’s more than a match for their other bit hit Sometimes (which was only kept off the top spot in Norway’s charts by, um, Ambitions).

Tom: Look, I just have one problem with this song, and it’s an awkward one. I hate to agree with YouTube comments, but it really doesn’t sound like he’s singing “eagle”. Or even “ego”. Or whatever it’s meant to be. It sounds – and at this point I’m required by dint of social awkwardness to lower my voice to a whisper – a bit racist.

Tim: You know, I didn’t hear that at all, until you pointed it out, at least. Still sounds alright to me, though. As for the video, well, that’s just a load and a half of WTFery, but it’s also jolly good fun so let’s go with it.

Diana Vickers – Music To Make The Boys Cry

Slightly rude sentiment in the title.

Tim: Slightly rude sentiment in the title, but other than that, well, just have a listen.

Music To Make The Boys Cry by mdstmgmt

Tom: That’s the most 80s start to a pop song I’ve heard in a while.

Tim: Isn’t that fantastic? She got ditched by RCA after her first album, apparently as a result of directional differences blah, and if this does anywhere near as well as it deserves to they’ll have made a bit of a cock-up, really. In other technical details, it’s been produced in conjunction with Norwegian electronic act Donkeyboy (them who did the original of Joe McElderry’s very good track Ambitions, and of whom more soon), and any influences they’ve had have almost certainly been a very good thing.

So, the track itself: well, as I said, fantastic.

Tom: And that’s where we disagree.

Tim: Seriously? It’s got a great underlying electrobass line, brilliant vocals, verses that stroll along nicely and a chorus that goes from strolling to skipping around the fields in a nice jumpy fashion.

Tom: I agree that the chorus is lovely, and that the whole song’s generically pleasant, and that she’s got a lovely voice… but it’s like it never really takes off. The final chorus almost saves it, but I wouldn’t go so far as fantastic. It’s… nice.

Tim: More than that. And as for the lyrics: well, I myself am not crying, but at a recent funeral I discovered I am in fact an emotional robot, so I won’t let that bother me. Finally, the best thing of all? It’s an actual free download, which you can get for yourself here.

The Wanted – Warzone

This time, their PIANO is ON FIRE.

Tom: Cue the overly masculine video: The Wanted are back.

Tim: Anecdote of the day: found out recently I work with a bloke who does quite a lot of music video shooting. Turns out that we’re not the only ones who find the overt manliness of The Wanted’s efforts somewhat laughable. Or, in fact, that The Collective was a bloody awful excuse for a charity single.

Tom: And this time, their PIANO is ON FIRE.

Tom: Literally, I mean. There’s a piano on fire.

Tim: Brilliant.

Tom: And they seem to have got a bit of an orchestral backing to this one – and dubstep! There’s an unmistakable WUB WUB WUB being put in there – it’s not strong, but it’s another sign of how mainstream that style’s going.

Tim: Oh yeah. And this is a great track – certainly one of the best on the album. Mainly because of the way it all works so well when it’s together – the dupsteppy bits, the strings – shouldn’t work in theory, totally does.

Tom: Is it me, though, or is there some rather obvious autotune in places? The “shoulda known” at 0:52, for example.

Tim: Of course there is. You’ve got dubstep, you might as well throw a bit of robo-voice on there to add something else.

Theme Park – Milk

Vaguely pleasant plinky-plonky.

Tom: I’m sure the video means something deep and intriguing, but I can’t work out what it might be.

Tim: I don’t know, but for most of it my main thought was ‘ooh, they’re doing a Westlife.’

Tom: I’ve no idea what to classify this as. Indie, I guess, although that’s a fairly generic term.

Tim: Something like that, although ‘indie’ as a genre always slightly bugs me, in the same way that ‘Foreign’ gets used as a genre for films.

Tom: And I can’t tell you why I like it, either, other than it’s got a vaguely pleasant plinky-plonky type of sound to it.

Tim: Probably because it’s entirely inoffensive. There’s pretty much nothing to dislike about it. It’s not too loud, or too quiet. There’s enough going on for it not to be boring, but not enough for it to be too exciting or raucous. I reckon we could best describe this as ‘fine’.

Tom: It’s not a floor-filler by any means, but it could definitely be seen on the playlist in the “second room” of so many student clubs around the country.

Tim: Yeah – stuck somewhere on the path from Ed Sheer-zzzz-huh? to The Vaccines. Sounds about right.

Saturday Flashback: Inga from Sweden – Inga’s XXXmas

“Inappropriate for some users.”

Tim: We had a Christmas song last week; let’s keep the December flashbacks festive, shall we? So, not to be confused with Miss Inga from earlier this year, this lady really does call herself ‘Inga from Sweden’, and back in 2007 was asking Santa for a spank because she’s lonely.

Tom: “This video may contain content that is inappropriate for some users.” Well, this should be fun.

Tom: Hahaha. Effects provided by a knock-off copy of 3D Studio Max and a terrible bluescreen. Is that by the same people who did Hooked on a Feeling?

Tim: God, I’d forgotten about that. What is it with you and the Hoff? Anyway, there are a couple of things I’m not keen about this.

Tom: Is the music one of them?

Tim: Harsh. Though somewhat fair, but no. There’s the Santa that sounds creepy as anything, and then I really hope what’s going on at 1:17 isn’t what it looks like it could be, although I’m fairly sure it is. Overall, though, this has me smiling.

Tom: Wait, really? Why? I mean, I’m generally okay with ridiculous Christmas records, but this is just terrible.

Tim: You think? It’s partially because of the general ridiculousness of the video – standing on a burning ice sheet, treading water through the ice, that utterly nightmare-inducing dancing snowman – and also the spanking sound effects. They’re entirely wrong, but they’re brilliant.

Tom: You’ve gone off your rocker. Too much brandy and chocolate?

Tim: No, still a bit too early for brandy. I’m getting through a good amount of cava, though, left over from when my parents bought several cases too many for a thing a few weeks back, and that’s a lot of fun.

Shackles – A Christmas Kiss

There are sleigh bells.

Tim: Yes, it’s time for the first of this year’s festive tracks, and we start with one which, its promoter has informed us, has just crept into the iTunes Norway Top 100. Excited?

Tom: There are sleigh bells, Tim. Apparently it is possible to be cynical and excited at the same time.

Tim: Despite the somewhat lacklustre introduction I gave this, I do like this – the music’s cheerful, with a decent helping of said sleigh bells (SLEIGH BELLS!) throughout, the video’s got happy people and festive scenes in it, and the lyrics are happy and loving.

Tom: It’s never going to be a Christmas classic, but it’s nice enough.

Tim: Well, I say happy – should you not be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel there’s magic everywhere, and are depressed about it at this typically joyous time of year, this song really won’t help. In fact it’ll probably make you feel even worse. Should probably have put a warning at the start, really.

Tom: I wonder if there are any songs about quick shack-ups at the office Christmas party?

Tim: None that leap to mind, but any that do exist are probably the ones everyones tries to forget ever happened.

Saturday Flashback: Play – As Long As There’s Christmas

You’re going to love this.

Tim: You’re going to love this. Absolutely love it.

Tom: Ah, it’s December; which means that the Advent calendar of Christmas Saturday Flashbacks is starting up. All right, Tim; I’ll take the bait. Why am I going to love it?

Tim: Three reasons. The first is that I said on Thursday that Play have been unheard from since last December; this is true, but they did this back in 2007. It’s a cover of a song off (really, you’ll LOVE it) the straight-to-DVD 1997 Disney release Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, done for the Special Edition release.

Tom: Crikey, that’s obscure.

Tom: And, my word, that’s by the book Disney, isn’t it? I… damn it, I do like it. It’s just hitting every note, as a Disney Christmas song should.

Tim: Certainly is. The second reason is those trumpets in the chorus that I think are brilliant.

Tom: They are brilliant, and properly Christmassy. I’m guessing the third thing is the key change? ‘Cos it’s a top key change.

Tim: You are very very right. Those three aside, though, I don’t have much to say about it really. But those are three good things, and overall it’s just a bit nice, isn’t it?

Tom: That’s the epitome of a Disney Christmas song; in one ear, out the other, and it’s “nice”.

Katy Perry – The One That Got Away

For a sixth single, that’s bloody amazing.

Tom: Six singles from the same album. That’s called “milking it”, surely?

Tim: Not if you’re trying to beat Michael Jackson’s record of five number ones off the same album, it isn’t.

Tom: And when the singles are this good, maybe it’s not milking it at all. Maybe it’s justified. Because for a sixth single, that’s bloody amazing. And she’s got a songwriting credit on it as well – it seems this isn’t just a popular artist being given the best tracks.

Tim: It is good – although I must admit most of my attention there was on the video, which is just – wow.

Tom: And that’s a surprisingly emotional video for American pop. It doesn’t even have a typical saccharine ending: heck, even her jumping off the cliff “to be with him” could have been spun as a happier way to close that video. That’s going to have teenage girls bawling.

Tim: I don’t know if it’s because I’m writing this at one o’clock in the morning, but that really did get me a bit emotional. Blimey.

Victoria Dogan & Laurence – God’s Gift to Me

“How cheesy?” “Imagine a fondue the size of a palace.”

Tim: Dear Lord, this is cheesy.

Tom: How cheesy?

Tim: Imagine a fondue the size of a palace, and instead of dipping bread and stuff in it you’re dipping entire bedroom-sized lumps of gruyère. That sort of cheesy.

Tom: Metaphor of the year award, there.

Tim: And you’ll LOVE it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSSWnhRJAno

Tom: Wrong.

Tim: Oh, you do surprise me.

This is a recently-married husband and wife couple, we’re told by e-mailer Simon, which makes it somewhat probable that this is their actual wedding we’re watching; I don’t know whether that’s a great idea for a song like this or just plain creepy.

Tom: That’s one way to get your wedding reception paid for, I suppose, although spending the entire party singing one song while the crew get all the shots they need must have put a bit of dampener on it. (Did they have a crew? Or was the cameraman just a drunk uncle? Apparently the budget didn’t stretch to a jib or making sure the people in the background looked like they were interested.)

Seriously, that bartender in the background is all I can see during those singing-at-each-other shots.

Tim: “I’m sorry, look, I’m trying to do the washing up here, could you please give me a bit of room? Or at least turn off that bloody camera? This really isn’t my best angle, you know.”

Anyway, the music is what matters, I suppose, and to be honest, I’m actually not all keen it. I know this is the same me that fell in love with Destiny by since-then-entirely-unheard-from Play (twelve months ago today, as it happens), but that had something that this doesn’t. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but this is definitely lacking something.

Tom: Inspiration? A video that looks like it has production values? Come on, even Steps managed that, and they were walked down the aisle by their actual, real-life fathers.

Tim: Effort, there. Maybe a better beat to it? More volume in the voice? Something, anyway.

Tom: Let’s put it this way, Tim: I sighed at the key change. I don’t think I’ve ever sighed at a key change before.

Avicii – Levels

“To be honest I feel somewhat short-changed.”

Tim: You’ll probably have heard this – it’s been around for ages (clubs all summer, used by Flo Rida in a track back in August), but we’ve not discussed it until now, because it’s only recently been properly released.

Tom: That’s weird. I know it incredibly well, but if you’d have asked me before I hit ‘play’ I’d have denied it.

Tim: The vocals apparently come from some song off the 1960’s, which as far as I’m concerned is too far back to worry about, but good hunting none the less. As a tune it’s energetic and all that, but I can’t get away from the fact that, sampled vocal aside, it’s just two bars looped for two and a half minutes, and to be honest I feel somewhat short-changed.

Tom: Agreed – which is strange, because the same’s been true of other tracks that we’ve loved.

Tim: Indeed – in the past, great success has been achieved with half as much, but there, at least there was a lot of variation in the backing – this, not so much.

Tom: Ah! Well then, I can help you. May I present Mashup-Germany’s “Believe In Your Best Levels“, which fills in those gaps with a half-dozen other tracks that merge perfectly.

Tim: Ooh, fun. Anyway, to sum this up on its own – it’s good, but it’s ten seconds of good, not three and a half minutes.