Tom: Start your new video with your old track – that’s confidence, right there.
Tim: Well? I like this. I won’t say it’s exactly what the pop music scene is looking for, because that’s not true. It’s not far off, though – it’ll fit in nicely, not offend too many people.
Tom: That chorus is really rather lush, though, isn’t it? It goes all, well, big after a fairly quiet verse.
Tim: If it had English lyrics it’d go nicely on a daytime radio playlist, but as it is, I’m sure Norway will be perfectly happy with it.
Tom: What’s the Norwegian equivalent of Radio 1? I can see them playing this.
Tim: Two final notes: disappointed as I am to say it, it’s a lot better than much of what our X Factor seems to be coming up with at the moment and also, I’ve just noticed that YouTube reckons Jizz In My Pants is a related video. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions there.
Tom: Well now, this would fit very nicely into the mid-90s, I reckon.
Tim: Hmm.
Tom: How does Pitbull do it? He seems to be a slightly creepy middle-aged man in a suit at first glance, and yet somehow he’s powered through that and become “Mister International Himself”. I suspect it’s because he’s very, very good at what he does.
As for this track, though; I can see this being a lost Peter Andre track. That’s not a bad thing – he did ‘Mysterious Girl’ after all – and while the slightly-dated sound might sound better a few years ago, as a winter club hit I can still see this working.
That said, it’s not going on my playlist – but I can see it going on plenty of other people’s.
Tim: Last week, sad news hit much of the music world: after twelve years of making music, Westlife are to disband. If we wanted to (and I won’t deny there’s a teeny tiny part of me that wouldn’t mind) we could probably do a fortnight-long retrospective of their work; for everybody’s sanity, though, it’s probably best just to keep it to one track, and we’ll go with this one, which starts with them making a somewhat curious travel decision.
Tim: Quite why they’d bother walking (or even flying) when then can just magically change their surroundings at will is beyond me, but anyway.
Tom: It’s such a bizarre line – for a brief moment, my brain accepted it as a perfectly reasonable option. Of course you’d walk.
Tim: This was their six release and sixth UK number one, and their first (and only) Swedish number one, and it’s my personal favourite of theirs. Why?
Tom: I don’t know, but for some reason I’m holding a lighter in the air. I don’t even own a lighter.
Tim: Because it’s by the book, brilliantly done, boyband stuff. There’s the slow and understated first verse. Then comes the emotional chorus, leading in to a more substantial second verse with a beat behind it. The chorus comes back again, perhaps seeming a little bigger this time from the context. The middle eight, split in two with the calm bit at the end leading into the soaring vocals of the stunning final section. We get fanfares (actual fanfares!) in the background just to signify what a brilliant song this is.
And there’s the video as well. There’s the inevitable hammy acting, which can sensibly be ignored.
Tom: A couple of them do the same thing I do – they forget how to walk properly when there’s a camera pointed at them.
Tim: Then at the end it too tries to get the message across, with the flying cameras and impressive peninsula, that this is a Song That Will Be Appreciated. And personally, I can’t help but appreciate it.
Tim: Yep, they’re still going, and yes, they’ve done more than ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’.
Tom: And yes, he does look a bit like Carrot Top and Mick Hucknall combined.
I think most people will sum this up as ‘well, it’s no Dancing in the Moonlight’.
Tim: True. BECAUSE – Dancing in the Moonlight was unusual, it didn’t sound like any other band, the glockenspiely stuff gave it a very ‘I’m Toploader, and this is how you recognise me’ feel. This doesn’t have anything like that. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but I reckon it’ll leave people disappointed.
Tom: It’s not bad, of course, and there are some really very striking parts in the verses and chorus – I think it’s really very listenable indeed. By the third time through the chorus, I felt I was actually getting a bit of an emotional lift from it. A proper unexpected middle eight too, but it’s no Dancing in the Moonlight.
Tom: “From the Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn Part 1”. Oh dear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwr1hm_oBxE
Tom: Now, you’ll remember that I like My Chemical Romance.
Tim: A bit.
Tom: The last track on their Danger Days album is a Ballroom Blitz-y number called ‘Vampire Money‘ – and it’s inspired by them turning down the offer to do a song for the Twilight soundtrack. I liked that decision at the time – and I like it even more now, because even though I’m instinctively tuned to hate everything to do with Twilight, Bruno Mars’ effort is actually a rather good song.
Tim: I’ll agree, it’s alright. Not exactly lighters in the air stuff, but it’ll get the job done. Also, chorus is a bit like Chasing Pavements, though I don’t quite know if I have a point there.
Tom: “There’ll be no sunlight / if I lose you baby”. Generic vampire-type reference, generic chord progressions… I shouldn’t like this, but somehow Bruno Mars can just make a song like this soar.
Tim: It’s the chord progressions – get them right, and the listener’s your prisoner. We discovered something similar at the end of last year, if you’ll recall – two very different songs, but the identical chorus lines in There’s A Place For Us and Call Your Girlfriend made them both enjoyable.
Tom: Take the vampire money, Bruno. It’s worth it.
Tim: Barely a fortnight now until Voyage is released, and here’s a new single to accompany it.
Tom: I remember, the last time we discussed The Sound of Arrows, that I had trouble putting them into a genre. Well, no more: this is trance, surely?
Tim: It’s just as spaced out and trancey as ever, and I love it. You push play, you lie back, and you drift away. All it needs is a video along the lines of Nova and it’ll be perfect. You hear me? PERFECT.
Tom: Perfect?
Tim: Well, maybe not perfect, because it’s actually not as good as Nova or M.A.G.I.C. were, but still. Very good nonetheless.
Tom: Despite the dodgy sci-fi laser-beam sound effects, I’ve got to agree.
Tom: Okay, the song’s called ‘Lightning’. Guess what they put in their music video?
Tim: Puppies!
Tom: Lens flares and bar lighting, actually.
Tim: Close enough.
Tim: GRR. SEE MY MASCULINITY.
Tom: Yet again, you’ve got the “We are The Wanted, and We Are Men” vibe to the video, because that means heterosexual men can watch it without worrying about their erections.
Tim: There’s still that one of them – think it’s Nathan – who looks about twelve, though, and has Glee walk-on part written all over him.
Tom: Good track, though – and I can’t explain why, because it’s generic Wanted fare.
Tim: Think you’ve explained why just there – generic, yes, but generic boyband stuff and boyband managers/songwriters know how to make god tunes. Not musical masterpieces, but good catchy by the book number, with lyrics, melodies and synth hooks that just work. This is one of them.
Tom: Was I distracted by scantily clad women? Possibly. But even without the video, I found myself really liking it.
I think this is what it sounds like when a man has a breakdown.
Tom: After the trailblazing success of ‘Common People’, what could the legendary, er, “singer” come up with next?
Tom: I… I think this is what it sounds like when a man has a breakdown.
Tim: Oh my…
Tom: It’s off his new album – entirely space-themed covers – and, well, it’s more bonkers than his last one, that’s for sure. Last one had some half-decent tracks on it – and Common People, with its enthusiastic kids choir, was almost better than the original – whereas this, it seems, it back to the classic Shatner lunacy.
Tim: Yes. Um, it’s sort of… well, just… it… um… a bit… oh, never mind.
Tim: Dancing! Saxophones! People moving between postcards like they’re paingtings at Hogwarts! LET’S GO!
Tom: A proper saxophone bit! I’ve said it before – the overblown 80s sax solo is coming back.
Tim: Since I don’t have much to say about this, let’s use it to provide a follow-up to the saxophone discussion that we had regarding The Edge of Glory. Well, that you had while I kept butting in with pointless interruptions.
Tom: That’s fair enough – other than the sax part and the rather fancy effects in the video, Min Indre Stemme is a bit dull.
Tim: I basically just want to mention Lady Gaga’s ‘Hair’, which is an absolutely brilliant track and also features saxophones (and, in fact, the same saxophonist who performed of The Edge of Glory).
Tim: Somewhat convoluted history – basically, it was going to be released as a promo single for the Born This Way album, but Edge of Glory got all the attention and this was pretty much entirely sidelined, very unfortunately.
Tom: Not entirely – there was this performance on the Paul O’Grady Show, which is notable for being a beautiful acoustic piano performance and, well, the lack of hair.
Tim: Well, regardless of that, I propose that (in a shocking and controversial move) we put a SECOND VIDEO in this post.
Tim: Almost a Norwegian Taylor Swift, really. Was there a Norwegian playwright whose work she could base a song on?
Tom: That’s a fairly close vocal match – there’s that country and western twang to it.
Tim: It’s about as uninteresting as Ms Swift, really, but it’s a gentle pop ballad-y type thing that’s nice if you’re into that sort of thing, which I sometimes am.
Tom: It does have the big soaring final chorus, although I reckon that’s still a chorus too late; you could lose one of the repetitions and I don’t think anyone would really mind.
Tim: Um, yeah. That’s about all I have to say on the matter.
Tom: Really? Are you distracted or something?
Tim: Well, it probably doesn’t help that right now I’m not really in a pop ballad-y type mood, as I’m still excited with my new iPhone. Yes, I’m using this as an opportunity to boast and go on about it. Problem?
