Author: tom

Robyn – Hang With Me

Okay, so Robyn’s new single hit the internet a few weeks back, and to be honest it’s not much better than her last one.

Okay, so Robyn’s new single hit the internet a few weeks back; it’s out August 16th in Sweden and will gradually be released around the world over the following month or so, arriving in the UK on 5th September. Anyway, it’s called Hang With Me, and to be honest it’s not much better than her last one (although a decent remix helps a bit). That is: it’s typical Robyn, and it’s like all her others* – a vaguely good dance track that just gets bored halfway through and doesn’t go anywhere else.

*I should state that I haven’t actually listened to ‘all her others’: just this and her three Top 10 UK hits. I’ve decided that’s enough, though.

You’re right about her songs not going anywhere. Even the video for this one seems like the effort just isn’t there. Yes, you’ve got a fancy camera and yes, you can make even the British motorway system look atmospheric, but there’s got to be something more there.

Speaking about her last single, “Dancing on my Own”, I thought it needed more oomph, and I’ve found a remix that provides it. I have a tendency to improvise my own backing vocal line during the final chorus. Try it. It’s fun.

Robyn – Dancing on my own (Copycat’s Sundrenched FM Remix) by Copycat

Agree that it adds a quite-needed ‘something’ to the song; however, it still suffers from the same two problems as the original:

  • the post-bridge bit goes on way too long – in my view, the original could quite easily finish at 3:35-ish and be better for it, and this one should finish at 3:37 with some sort of explosion, although it could perhaps push it to 4:10
  • main problem: there’s absolutely nothing to distinguish between before and after the bridge, which is Just Not On when it comes to this sort of music. As you suggest, backing singers would be perfect. We should write and offer our services for her next track.

To be honest I’m not sure why we felt let down by either of these in particular. They’re all like this.

You’re right. I’ve just listened to a few of the other Dancing On My Own remixes, and they all suffer the same problem: there’s just not enough song there. There’s only one vocal line, with the exception of occasional echoes; it needs a second one added – even just a few “whoa, oh, ohs” – after the bridge.

Lessons from Darin’s producer required, I feel.

Katy Perry – California Gurls

Do not make the mistake of listening to this. It’s a military-grade tactical nuclear earworm. I listened once, mainly for the video if I’m honest, and three days later the chorus is still occasionally with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwE-SLnLkqY

Do not make the mistake of listening to this. It’s a military-grade tactical nuclear earworm. I listened once, mainly for the video if I’m honest, and three days later the chorus is still occasionally with me.

I hate you. I know perfectly well (and you know I know, which makes it even worse) that the only reason you told me that is because you want me to hear it; that I shall now want to listen to it, and thus be infected with aforementioned earworm as you are.

I could, of course, try to stay well away from it, but, as we both know, that would practically kill me, because even if I don’t listen to it now I will be trying to get to sleep tonight thinking ‘what was it about the song tom said i shouldn’t listen to, i really want to know’ … … ‘oh, probably nothing, just forget it and go to sleep’ … … ‘seriously, it was probably nothing, if you listen to it you’ll just give him exactly what he wants’ … … ‘oh, i’ll just turn my laptop on quickly, won’t take long, won’t be a problem, and then i can get some peace of mind’

Then, of course, I do turn my laptop on, hear it, and it is a problem, peace of mind is thrown out of the window and you get exactly what you wanted in the first place, except it’s even worse because it’s now going round in my head as I try to sleep.

As a Xanatos Gambit, it is impressive, and I salute you for it; as a way to treat a friend in real life it is pure evil, and I detest you for it.

Technically, it’d be Reverse Psychology rather than a Xanatos Gambit, but honestly, you’re giving me way too many evil points there.

Friðrik Ómar – I Want To Know

It’s the official song of Reykjavik Pride 2010, and for the first 15 seconds you’ll think you’re listening to Underworld.

Information for you:

Hmm. He looks like a Nordic version of Neil Patrick Harris, only less awesome.

There’s something about the chord progression in “to break the chain / and love again” that reminds me of Guru Josh’s Infinity 2008.

And special attention needs to go to the lyrics “kissing your lips / in a total eclipse”, there. That’s a particularly inspired kind of insipid.

Agreed, but I feel special attention should also be paid to:

“When I rest my head in an empty bed
Only memories hanging on my wall
I stare into space with the tears on my face
And I count them as they fall”.

Sort of what emo would be if it had been invented by Lazytown.

You do (I sincerely hope) recognise the oh-oh lead into the chorus.

Shockingly, I don’t.
Well, shame on you.

Hanson – Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’

So this is Hanson. All grown up. With a new album. And a video which is basically the Ray Charles bit from the Blues Brothers. With Weird Al on tambourine.

…I have no idea.

So this is Hanson. All grown up. With a new album. And a video which is basically the Ray Charles bit from the Blues Brothers. With Weird Al on tambourine.

…I have no idea.

Every chorus feels like it could be the last chorus. This can be a good thing, but here it leaves me hoping that the current one is the last one.

Weird Al spanking himself with an instrument is something that should never ever have been filmed. The ‘you wanna play my guitar?’ ‘hell yeah jesus, come to me’ ‘well alright then – see if you can catch it’ that occurs 3 minutes in is horrendous. The glasses make the pianist look blind. Impressive if it were true; otherwise it’s just bloody stupid. And finally, self-applauding as a crowd never looks good. People really should know that by now.

You’ve never seen the Blues Brothers doing Twist It, have you?

Okay, so now it makes a bit more sense, although only based on the premise that reproducing a Blues Brothers scene makes sense, which is debatable to say the least. I believe most of my points still stand – although somehow the black guy can pull off the glasses, unlike the Hanson guy. It should also be mentioned that the dancing of the two guys in black makes Jedward look good.

“The black guy” is Ray Goddamn Charles.

Yes, that is his middle name.

Darin – Lovekiller

This is the new single by the guy that did that cover of Viva la Vida that you thought didn’t go anywhere. This, on the other hand, can safely be described as BANGIN’.

This is the new single by the guy that did that cover of Viva la Vida that you thought didn’t go anywhere. This, on the other hand, can safely be described as BANGIN’.

When the first chorus hits, you’ll think to yourself “hang on – is this not the type of chorus that would normally come after the bridge? What can he possibly do that won’t be a massive anti-climax?” Well. Just keep listening.

Blood and sand! It’s like they just took the last third of the song and stretched it out over four minutes. It’s not the Almighty version of ‘Evergreen’, true, but in terms of sheer What Do You Mean It’s Not Awesome it ranks among the greats.

I also love that the music alone couldn’t contain all the excitement in this song, so it’s had to spill over into the lyrics. He’s turned the person who was the love of his life (we presume) into someone roughly on a par with the Joker:

The knife is in your hands
Is that a smile on your face?

and later

You won’t stop until your victims crawl

I’m surprised that Marvel and DC haven’t cashed in on that, really. Batman belting out a power ballad about his dead parents would be a real moneyspinner

I actually did have a thought the other day, whilst in a remarkably camp mood, that they really should do musicals of superheroes. You’ve got all the necessary bits – downer song to begin with (parents or uncle killed vs Les Misérables’s Work Song), realisation that you can actually do good things (buy a load of cool stuff and make a cave vs Joseph’s Go Go Go Joseph), put in a sod of a lot of work (discover how to make a web vs Billy Elliot’s Electricity) and then a feel good song at the end (bad guys all dealt with vs Hairspray’s You Can’t Stop The Beat).

Textbook.

That’s genius – although surely some pretentious student group has already taken something similar up to the Edinburgh Fringe. A little research reveals “Dark Knight of the Soul”, and I honestly can’t tell if it’s a parody or not.

There was a musical episode of kids’ show “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” though, featuring Neil Patrick Harris as the villain.

Dark Knight of the Soul’s got to be a parody, surely – especally with the too-cheesy-to-be-true Meat Loaf references. Spider-Man on Broadway seems to be genuine though.

“Lyrics by Bono and the Edge”? Oh my.