Tim: The word that sprang to my mind when this first finished playing was “wowsers”. I’ll let you watch it before you comment on that.
Tom: Well, that starts as it means to go on, doesn’t it?
Tim: We’re told that, in the world of Ace Wilder, “the popguns are loaded and the world is constantly under fire from the demanding matrix of the choruses you always wanted to shout yourself blue to and the beats that will move your body in ways you didn’t know was possible”.
Tom: What.
Tim: Now that sounds like a load of pretentious bollocks to me, but the track’s bloody brilliant so I don’t really care.
Tom: Yep, I’ve got to agree with you there.
Tim: It is loud and brash and heavy and demanding and a bit rude, but more importantly that all those (or at least just as importantly) it has a cracking tune, a lovely duh-nuh-du-du-nuh-nu-nu-etc hook (though I wouldn’t mind it we lost the doo-run bit) —
Tim: Figures. There’s also a nice uplifting message to it, as long as we’re talking metaphorically and assuming this isn’t a recruitment video for a new arsonist movement. Because if it is then I may have to rethink– actually, no, it’s still great. BRING ON THE TORCHES!
Tom: BRING ON THE WALL!
Tim: Erm, yes, why not. And if it’s a choice between that and Splash!, absolutely.
“This seems pretty good, as middle-of-the-road Europop goes.”
Tim: I’d write an introduction, but you’re probably already fixated on those two massive things in the video below.
Tom: Hey, I resent that.
Tim: That’s fine by me, but I don’t see you denying it.
Tim: So it’s a new Shirley Clamp track! The first in ages, and it’s…well, it’s alright but it’s not as good as it could be, is it?
Tom: What’s it missing, then? This seems pretty good, as middle-of-the-road Europop goes.
Tim: Where’s the massive closing chorus? Where’s the key change? Where, basically, is the Shirley Clamp who gave the world Min Kärlek? (and yes I know that doesn’t actually have a middle eight and so doesn’t quite work here but you know what I mean so shush)
Tom: You were expecting schlager, and you got a regular pop track. If other artists had brought this out, it’d be “hey, that’s not bad”, but… it’s not other artists.
Tim: I suppose that’s not entirely fair – music’s changed a bit, and this is more of a dance-pop number than pure schlager, but sometimes people should stick to what they do, because otherwise people like me get disappointed, and I WANT A NEW SONG WITH A BIG KEY CHANGE.
On the plus side, though, as of tomorrow there’s only a fortnight until the big Eurovision selection processes start to get going, so it’s ALL OKAY I SUPPOSE.
Tim: We’ll carry on from yesterday’s good example of pop music with this good example of dance music.
Tom: Ooh, when that kicks in it’s really rather nice.
Tim: It has a female vocalist, which generally helps; it stays away from the whole piano dance genre that became a bit too generic over the past year or so, and it has a good amount of the dubstep-style synths to sound relevant but none of the actual stuff that might put us right off it. A decent melody helps it along, so I’ll give this one about 76%.
Tom: Oh blimey, percentages again? I give your new rating system about 11%, Tim.
Tim: Well, it’ll probably be gone by tomorrow. I’d guess a 76% chance.
Tim: Let’s bring in 2013 with a good example of what pop music should be.
Tom: A bold claim. What are you bringing to the table?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HmoV8BWSRQ
Tim: Decent chorus, catchy ‘vibe’ (people still say that, right?)
Tom: Nope.
Tim: Oh.
Tom: You’re right, though – I can’t say the melody grabs me, but it’s certainly happy. Although “I won’t let you smash it again” does sound a bit dodgy out of context.
Tim: It’s an upbeat sound despite the negative message, and…well, it’s good. Honestly, there’s not a lot more that I can think to say about this, though that’s not a bad thing – there’s certainly nothing wrong with it. Given all this, and the extra bit of effort she puts in for the closing section, I will give it something like 69%.
“Beats listening to a tramp wailing into a microphone.”
Tim: James Arthur, winner of The X Factor 2012, released a cover of this as his winner’s single, but we really needn’t go any further with that one.
Tom: Because of the Curse?
Tim: There is that, but there’s also the fact that it’s just bloody awful. Fortunately, this is quite good instead.
Tim: Isn’t it? Yes, you spend the first chorus hoping it’ll eventually get somewhere, but then when the second chorus comes along and it does get somewhere it’s really quite nice to listen to; it sure as hell beats listening to a tramp wailing into a microphone for three and a half minutes.
Tom: A Cursed Tramp, no less.
Tim: Well, quite.
Tom: You’re right, though: this track takes a while to get there – and there’d be an argument to say that first verse and chorus is a bit superfluous – but when it does finally arrive it’s been worth the journey.
Tim: Outside the UK, where she’s had two hits, she’s largely a one-hit wonder (or, given her first album’s title of Shontelligence, a Shone-hit wonder, HAHAHA), which I suppose isn’t much of a shame, as far as we’re concerned, as there are plenty of people like her, but this is a perfectly decent record and worthy of being listened to at least a couple of times.
And if you’re wondering, yes, I did bring up the success of her career purely to make that Shone-hit wonder ‘joke’.
Tim: A nice dreamy little number for you, in case you’re feeling worn out by a hefty week of feasting, partying or arguing.
Tom: Nice job covering all the bases there.
Tim: And, rest. That’s a lovely little tune, isn’t it? Calm, relaxing, ever so slightly hypnotic, drifting and falling over you as you lie on the floor, either utter exhausted or horrifically angry from the events of the past few days.
Tom: It is: with enough drums in it to keep it interesting. It’s not all soothing choirs and synths – and that return from the middle eight is beautiful. Full marks for taking two of the oldest camera tricks in the book – slow motion and reverse – and combining them with bubbles to make something rather stunning.
Tim: Stunning is the right word there. I don’t know much about this Suvi person, other than that she’s Stockholm-based and has a surname of Richter, but for now, that’s enough. Because this music’s just what I want right now, and I’ll take it just as it is.
Tim: A couple of days ago we had Girls Aloud’s most recent slightly-banging ballad; now let’s have one from Ms Trez, Sweden’s current notable girlband.
Tim: It’s hard not to compare them, really, but fortunately for them this comes off very well indeed.
Tom: It does, although I’m automatically a bit biased against it: generally, girl-band ballads don’t tend to grab my attention. I’ll admit that it’s a lot better than Girls Aloud’s offering though.
Tim: For it, we have more of a beat, its not waiting until the second chorus to get going, and a lack of slightly irritating ba-baby.
Tom: I know it didn’t annoy you quite as much as it did me, but bloody hell I’m glad there’s nothing similar here.
Tim: Against it, well, there’s a more downbeat tone to the lyrics, and then there’s the fact that, well, they’re just not Girls Aloud. Still, I think these things all balance out, and this tracks gets a decent seal of approval from me. And that’s what really matters in today’s music industry.
Tom: (Don’t correct him, readers. It keeps him going.)
For someone who started with “Saturday Night”, she’s come a long way.
Tim: I’m giving nothing away.
Tom: For someone who started with “Saturday Night”, she’s come a long way.
Tim: Yes – this is dubstep-inspired Whigfield, and I for one think it works. Unexpected, yes, but not too out of place, and I like it.
Tom: I agree, but it’s the kind of track where the vocalist is mostly interchangable: Whigfield could be happily replaced by any session vocalist or guest star here, and it’d sound much the same. This kind of track is normally credited to the producer rather than the singer, so it’s a bit strange to see something this, er, “dubsteppy” credited to Whigfield.
Tim: It couldn’t really be more different from her last track, 4Ever, which was all sweet and happy which rolling harpsichords, whereas this carries the standard harsh tones that can kind of grate a bit (and are expressed vividly so in that video).
Tom: As I’ve said before: I’ve grown to like them as they’ve become more and more influenced by pop.
Tim: Me too: I really like this, and it’s a sound that brings Whigfield up to date and playable on a modern dancefloor, unlike any other recent track of hers. This is good stuff. Very good indeed.
Tim: I’m not going to introduce this, save to say there’s a studio version here if you’d prefer.
Tim: Doesn’t really need an introduction, you see, because it’s incredible.
Tom: It’s not what I expected from a Röyksopp single, that’s for sure. Or at least, the first part wasn’t.
Tim: No, nor what I expected, but that’s no bad thing. It starts like a quiet piano ballad and holds it for a while, another layer comes in, and then– actually, I could go through it like that but it wouldn’t explain what’s great about it because it’s just not that sort of song. It’s the way it feels that really gets you, the way it surrounds you and gets underneath you, with the vocal that’s both soaring but slightly haunting as well.
Tom: I’m not sure it quite got into me in the same way – it’s a builder, certainly, but it didn’t send shivers up my spine like it seems to have yours. Good track, though.
Tim: Really? Because I think it’s just…well, incredible.
You’re probably thinking, “Hang on, I’ve heard this a lot.”
Tim: Their newest one, Army of Hardcore, is a bit crap, so we won’t talk about it. This previous one’s still only two months old, though, so let’s have a listen. (Couple of gratuitous F-words up ahead, if you care.)
Tim: Let’s get the small things out of the way. First: his yelling. Heard it all before, standard fare, but to be honest it’s a bit distracting.
Tom: The yelling is part and parcel of Scooter – you couldn’t have them without HP Baxxter BRINGING THE NOISE.
Tim: Second: female vocalist. Not sure we’ve had one before (at least not on a single release), but I like it – works well.
Tom: Not without it being extensively reprocessed, certainly. But then, Scooter went jumpstyle for a while, and they seem to change direction every now and then: having actual vocals is fine by me.
Tim: Now let’s talk about the big thing. The massive thing. Which that you’re probably thinking, “Hang on, I’ve heard this a lot. How is a new Scooter track so big in 2012?” Well, sorry to disappoint you, but it isn’t. The lovely Million Voices by Otto Knows, though, is. Was. Whatever. The point is, theft.
Tom: Well, let’s not be so hasty. Scooter has always sampled or re-made tracks: I’m Raving was Walking in Memphis, Rebel Yell was Rebel Yell, and Ramp! was The Logical Song.
Tim: Sort of, but those were all direct covers (although I’m Raving has a slightly convoluted legal history – they covered “Raving I’m Raving” by Shut Up And Dance, although not before that track had been banned and proceeds been directed to charity following intervention by Marc Cohn’s people).
Here, though, it’s different – they’ve just tweaked it enough not to get sued, and now I’ve got a dilemma. We’ve established before that I’m happy to take the ‘probably a coincidence’ view, but this is such a blatant rip-off that anyone with an ounce of moral conviction can’t help but feel a little queasy.
Tom: I’d find it difficult to believe that there hasn’t been some kind of agreement about sampling or remixing here.
Tim: Well, this tweet from Otto Knows would suggest otherwise.
Tom: Ouch. It’s up to the lawyers, then.
Tim: But yet. BUT YET. Much as I love it, I always felt that Million Voices could do with a bit more – three minutes of “ey ey ey ey ey, ah ah ah ah ah” is fine, but after a few plays it gets a bit, well, samey, and I’ve occasionally wondered what an added vocal layer would sound like. And dammit, it turns out it sounds great. So, I shouldn’t like this because it’s evil stealing and all that, but I do like it because it sounds really good. Oh, God.
Tom: It’s an improvement. That’s not even an ironic statement, which is saying something for Scooter. But you’re right: it’s a ripoff.
