Category: Europop

Donna McCaul – Mercy

“This song surprised me. You’ll see why.”

Tom: All right, we’ve got three days left before we have the Friday Jedward Punchline. What’ve you got from Ireland today?

Tim: You keep saying that, and now I’m thinking I’d like to punch them on Friday. But anyway, this song surprised me. You’ll see why.

Tim: Yes. The key change. Because this is a song I can, without too much difficulty, imagine coming out of the mouth of Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, that lot. And those people don’t do key changes – they’re not right for a song, they’re outdated, they’re only there to spice up an otherwise dull ending. But here, despite coming at exactly the right moment in a Eurovision song, it’s so unexpected that it’s absolutely brilliant.

Tom: Something I can’t believe I’m saying: it’s a modern Eurovision song coming from west of the North Sea. Which means it won’t stand a chance in the Irish public vote, but it’s not bad at all.

Tim: As for the rest of it? The rap breakdown in the middle is odd – not musically (see previous Nicki Minaj comparison), but certainly Eurovisionally (or at least, stereotypically Eurovisionally – maybe this whole week will be about challenging preconceived ideas).

Tom: Rap breakdowns don’t generally do well in Eurovision, but I reckon this stands a good chance because of Ke$ha and her ilk paving the way first.

Tim: I think you’re right there. It certainly fits well in the song, and while this is one of my least favourites of the bunch it’s still a decent tune, very poppy and, as you say, very likely to do at least fairly well if it makes it to Baku.

Tom: Right – this could play well in Europe, and – for Ireland – that’s what the public should be voting on.

Maria McCool – Mistaken

Starts out like it’s just stepped off a boat from Rivendell.

Tim: This year, like last year, Ireland has five songs in its shortlist for Eurovision. This year, unlike last year, they’re all rather good, and several are excellent. They’re being decided this Friday, so let’s take them one at a time.

Tom: Hold on. There’s one particular song in there that I’m worried about. Are you just leading up to a Jedward Friday Punchline?

Tim: They’re scheduled fifth, yes, but until then, let’s start with number one:

Tim: Starts out like it’s just stepped off a boat from Rivendell, but quickly cheers up a bit. Maintains that Celtic folky feel throughout – sounds properly old-school Irish, a bit like what you’d hear if you were to imagine a leprechaun school disco.

Tom: No, I think you’ll find that this is exactly that. It seems to be the Irish equivalent of a Bollywood disco. (Side note: how compressed is that music? The melody drops out every time there’s a bass kick!)

Tim: Perhaps the compression algorithm rewards those who put effort into the music; one of the cheapest dance tracks of the past decade doesn’t really stand a chance. (Still must confess to liking it, though.)

Anyway, I do realise that I may have just insulted an entire nation and its long and distinguished history, with that first sentence, but it’s meant in a good way, I promise.

Tom: Mm. Let’s move on quickly.

Tim: Well you see, I don’t know much about what Ireland’s currently producing musically, but as far as I’m concerned, Eurovision should be about a country and its music coming together, and if this is it, then bring it on.

Tom: So for each of these songs, I’m judging them on a different criterion than usual: are they likely to win Eurovision? And my verdict for this is: no. No it’s not. Middle to bottom of the table, not likely to get through the semi-final, I reckon. And is it really Irish music coming together?

Tim: That’s the thing – and if all this does is help perpetuate, via people like me, an old and out-dated stereotype that Ireland is full of little green men with bells on their hats and shoes, always going on about pots o’ gold, it’s probably best left at home, far away from Azerbaijan.

Tom: Especially if they want to score points.

Saturday Reject: Gyurcsik Tibor – Back in Place

The music started. He sang. I cringed.

Tim: This chap, fresh out of last year’s X Faktor Hungary, came top in his semi-final but didn’t even place in the actual final, which is a shame, I think.

Tom: The music started. He sang. I cringed.

Tim: It gets straight in there with no messing around – this is an upbeat pop song song that quite clearly knows what it’s doing, and it does it fairly well.

Tom: See, until that first chorus, I’d have described it as ‘downbeat’, and I’m not sure that chorus rescues it.

Tim: Really? Huh. There are a few issues, though – it seems to get a bit bored after the key change, not really knowing where to go next, but it’s fine staying where it is. It needs a better ending, as well – it’s either got to be more drawn out or more abrupt, because the length it is just doesn’t do it for me.

Tom: Heh. That’s what she said. Anyway, none of this song really “does it for me” – and I think that’s down to the singer.

Tim: Yes, and he’s the biggest problem for me as well, actually, because good as he is I can’t quite shake the feeling that he’s singing a little bit above his comfort zone. He’s bang on with all the notes, but the somewhat strained middle eight, along with the occasional more comfortable deep note near the beginning, just gives me the impression he’ll be reaching for a glass of water once this is done.

Tom: Yep, exactly. It’s like how I need a glass of water after listening to Tom Waits; my throat just closes in sympathy.

Tim: I’ve mentioned a lot of negative points here – overall, though, they are somewhat minor ones and easily fixed, and they don’t take away from the fact that I think this is a really good song. Like I said, upbeat pop that knows what it’s doing.

Tom: I couldn’t agree less.

Darin – Nobody Knows

It’s good. It’s very good.

Tim: Every Darin track we (or certainly I) review will inevitably be compared to Lovekiller – it was big, it was exciting, it was fantastic, and it was actually pretty much the track that inspired the creation of this blog. So how does the lead single off his new album compare?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l9efZUVNKA

Tim: Hmm. It’s good. It’s very good. It’s more ravey than previously material, and it has a very similar ‘crank it up to seventeen right from the start’ vibe to it.

Tom: It cranks it up just late enough for it to count as some kind of ‘drop’ – but what a brilliant drop it is. I wish there was a bit more low-frequency bass oomph in there, but perhaps that’s just YouTube compression.

Tim: That first chorus is a closing section all in itself. But – and this is a fairly big but – this gets bored. It does a standard ‘drop down to very little’ in the middle eight, and comes back as it was.

Tom: See, I think you’re being too harsh on it. It’s not on maximum all the way through – you’ve missed at least the first verse, which is even quieter than the middle eight. It is, in short, bloody marvellous.

Tim: You’re right – I’m being unreasonably negative.

Tom: Yes you are.

Tim: If I knew nothing about Darin, or it was a different artist, I’d think: this is brilliant. The second half is as normal, with a quiet middle eight and big close, but the first half is amazingly better that it’s expected to be. And that is what this review should be, because this is a great song. It’s just – I can’t help but compare the two, and that annoys me.

Tom: This track makes me want to dance like an idiot. That’s about the highest praise I can give it.

Pearl Fiction – Run

I’m half expecting massive Phil Collins noisegated drums to appear half way through.

Tim: Solo guy, used to be the lead singer of Swedish band Zeigeist. And, um, if you’re out in public you might want to skip the first forty seconds or so.

Tom: Hmm. I’m in an airport lounge at the minute. I’ll load it in a background tab, and then quickly click over to see if… WHOA OKAY yep I’ll take your advice.

Tim: This, I’ll give about, ooh, 67%.

Tom: Precise.

Tim: Allow me to justify. We have points given for the chorus being nice and upbeat, with a lovely hook and all that. At the end of the second listen, I am loving singing along to it.

Tom: It sounds like any number of 80s bands, doesn’t it, with the restrained synths and all. I’m half expecting massive Phil Collins noisegated drums to appear half way through, like In The Air Tonight. Gorgeous chorus.

Tim: It really is. But then we have points taken away for the fact that part of the reason the chorus is upbeat is that the rest of it’s somewhat dreary, although not so much that I want to switch it off, so not too many points. I would prefer the song with just the choruses, though, so that is why I choose to give it – actually, you know what? Let’s make it 68%.

Tom: In an attempt to hold off your precision, I’m going to give a “hmm”. It’s one of those positive, appreciative hmms, though.*

*I’m hoping that anyone reading this just made a similar noise to work out what it sounded like.

Tim: Well, I did. It sounded about right.

Hej Matematik – Livet i Plastik

This doesn’t sound anything like Aqua.

Tim: Fancy a new Aqua track?

Tom: Always.

Tim: Tough, because this doesn’t sound anything like Aqua.

Tom: Oh.

Tim: This band, though, is fronted by one member, backing singer Søren Rasted, and his nephew.

Tom: Well, it works for LMFAO.

Tim: But that’s not all: in what is possibly—alright, certainly—a throwback to a career highlight, the track is called, yes, ‘Life in Plastic’

Tom: That’s not a promising start.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsUJ5RyY6ng

Tim: Also, you may have noticed the chorus rhymes plastic with fantastic, though sadly my Danish isn’t up to translating the rest of the line from his singing. But let’s move on from his overwhelming nostalgia and let’s discuss the song: it’s a bit odd, for me.

Tom: The unexpected gun-to-the-head in the video isn’t exactly normal and sane, either.

Tim: Well, that is true. And the thing is, I like it, pretty much, though I’m not entirely sure why. Because what it really does is remind me of Skrillex (don’t click that link), who is to dubstep what the Spanish flu was to infectious diseases, and to me about as appealing.

Tom: Have you subscribed to the Simile of the Month club or something? That one was excellent.

Tim: Oh, thank you very much. But that in turn reminds me of the fact that Radio 1 have, for god only knows what reason, decided to fall in love with Skrillex and other ‘new music’* and so play that all the time instead of what people actually like.

* ‘New music’ being their term for ‘music we’re trying to make popular so our Sound of 2012 list isn’t quite so laughable this time around’.

Tom: Well, Skrillex is rather well liked. Be careful, Tim: you’re approaching a “damn kids, get off my lawn” moment.

Tim: I am entirely aware of that, and am trying very hard not to get there. In moderation, I’m very happy with it – just not so much, so often. And actually, is he well liked, or are we just told he’s liked? Because last time I checked, his songs weren’t exactly flying off the servers. (Yes, that’s not the best way of measuring popularity these days, but still.)

Aaaaaanyway, that’s a moan for another time, but my main point is that despite all that, and despite the fact that the two Rasteds are not so much singing as speaking aggressively, I quite like this song. Why is that?

Tom: Damned if I know, I can’t stand it.

Saturday Reject: Minnie-Oh – You and I

Got knocked out by three that were absolutely not as brilliant.

Tim: February’s here, and many countries are well on their way to choosing their entry to Eurovision; as ever, this means that several excellent tracks are being cruelly discarded (along with a whole load of utter tripe), either because they can’t match up to the brilliance of their peers, or because the viewing public are utter morons. Time, I reckon, to start our review of some of them, and this is a fantastic one to start with. It got knocked out of the second heat of Norway’s Melodi Grand Prix last week, by three that were absolutely not as brilliant.

Tom: I was in Norway last week, as it happens. It’s a nice country. Do you like mountains?

Tim: On the whole.

Tom: Do you like fjords?

Tim: Always.

Tom: Do you like being charged a ridiculous amount of money for absolutely everything?

Tim: Erm, not so much.

Tom: Ah, then Norway may not be the country for you.

Tim: Not even with this as music?

Tim: The music is fantastic. The vocal’s got a nice tune to it.

Tom: It is, but I can’t help feeling they’ve not picked the right singer for the job. She’s got a nice, understated voice that occasionally seems a little detuned – which would be good for a calm ballad. This is a Big, Bold, Synth-Heavy track, though: it either needs someone whose voice can soar, or it needs him out of Scooter.

Tim: Perhaps, and I did think something like that when I heard the live version. The studio version, on the other hand, and which I heard first, I think sounds perfect with her voice, and it’s a great shame that didn’t come across on the night.

Tom: It’s good, but I still think it needs a more powerful vocalist. She’s great, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t think she fits this track.

Tim: Well, whoever’s doing the vocals, they’re backed up by some great instrumentation – the chorus sounds like the C-music from Tetris (which was totally the best, by the way) – and it’s not remotely difficult to imagine this getting decent airplay over here. The dancing is pretty good – nothing amazing, but that glow in the dark bit when they’re all in a line with their arms is quite cool.

Tom: Of course, that’s frequently more important than the song itself as far as the voting public’s concerned.

Tim: Well, quite, and it’s not alone in that respect. Take the staging, for example, which here is somewhat incredible: the lights are roughly what you’d get if you poured half a ton of sugar into a Dulux factory and then blew it up, and as far as I’m concerned that’s as good as it gets for a song like this. And the costumes are a tad odd, even by Eurovision standards – we’ve got two giant Cornettos on each shoulder, inverse torso clothing for the dancers as well as black knights from Monty Python and the Holy Grail on keyboards. Any explanation? None whatsoever, but who cares?

Tom: Because Eurovision. That’s why.

Tim: Really, the only reason I can think of not to put this through above one of the other ones would be the not-quite-Eurovision-grade steadicam shot at 1:40. So, Mr Norway, what’s Norwegian for ‘morons’?

Tom: You know, I didn’t get around to asking that when I was there. I can, however, swear in Finnish now. (No, not Norwegian. Long story.)

Amanda Mair – Sense

Serious music.

Tim: I think this’ll remind you slightly of a TV show theme tune. Because it did me.

Tim: And that’s a shame, because this is a vaguely alright song, and it’s just those five notes that remind me that NBC have shelved one of my favourite shows for the time being and haven’t said when they’ll bring it back.

Tom: Ah, Community. One of the best shows on television. Well, not on television any more, but still. Bit of a coincidence, by the way – our regular reader Roger just sent this same track to me after reading quite a bit about Amanda Mair. “With this single,” he says, “I understand the hype!”

Tim: Well, in that case we should probably discuss this music properly. Though actually let’s not, because to be honest, I think it’s a bit dull. Decent enough to listen to in the background, sure, and a good voice, but’s there’s nothing to really get excited about, for me anyway. It’s like it’s being serious music, as though pop music isn’t allowed to be fun any more.

Tom: Now, this is where I disagree really strongly with you. This is fun. It’s not a three-minute Eurovision spectacular, sure, and it’s got a bit more meaning behind it than the formulaic stuff – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun. It’s jaunty. It’s entertaining. I’m not going to be singing along to it any time soon, but it’s rather nice.

Tim: You think? Well, actually, speaking of entertaining, the video is worth mentioning, if only because I don’t like it because it’s weird and, well, doesn’t make sense (that may well be the point given that that’s the main theme of the song, but if it is then they should make it obvious and make it properly not make sense). What’s with all the signs? No idea, but if anybody does I’ll be more than happy to hear it.

Hmm. Am I coming across as a bit negative here?

Tom: Well, yes, really. Quite unjustifiably.

Tim: Rubbish. This song seems to have put me in a bad mood, and I have no idea why.

Tom: I wonder if it has that effect on anyone else?

Laleh – Some Die Young

Well, isn’t that a chirpy little number.

Tom: Our regular reader Roger sends this in. And I warn you in advance: it’s a bit cinematic.

Tim: Well, isn’t that a chirpy little number.

Tom: This sounds like the music you get over the closing credits of a Disney movie.

Tim: …because you’ve watched the alternative cut of Aladdin where the magic carpet catches fire and they die in a massive carpet crash?

Tom: I would watch that, actually. Besides, Disney-sound isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but for some reason it also disqualifies it in my head as a “proper” pop song. It’s like Elton John’s “Written in the Stars” – a beautiful track, but originally made for his musical version of Aida, and therefore it gets filed under ‘musicals’ rather than ‘pop’. Perhaps I’m getting caught up in semantics.

Tim: A little bit. And somewhat missing the fact that it’s ALL ABOUT DEATH. Admittedly, only so as to convey the idea that we should be living as much as we can, but it’s still ALL ABOUT DEATH.

Tom: It’s all very pleasant, though, despite the lyrics being a bit morbid when you actually start to listen to them.

Tim: Oh, you think?

Anna Abreu – Be With You

Almost New Wave-y synths.

Tim: Now if I remember rightly you recently didn’t like it when the track title got repeated a lot. Well, good luck with this, the fourth and final release from last year’s album Rush.

Tom: Ooh, it starts well, doesn’t it? Almost New Wave-y synths on there, which is a good thing with modern pop production.

Tim: I like this, sort of. Really, actually, and right from the first few notes, because everything that’s there is great. It’s just what’s not there that’s the problem – there’s a continuing sense of build, right up to the first half of each chorus, and then it suddenly drops down, to pretty much nothing. Now that’s not really a problem – we hear anti-climaxes all the time, and I can generally cope.

Tom: That said, the first half of each chorus is lovely – almost a climax in themselves.

Tim: True, I suppose, but here that’s just not good enough. You see, here we have those three underlying notes, repeating. To me, they sound like the ticking of a bomb hidden somewhere in a car. You can’t see the timer, so you don’t know when it’ll happen, but you know it’ll explode. Even when (perhaps especially when) there’s just the very calm ‘just want to be with you’ over them, those notes could go off at any time. And you know they will go off. The song will go from ‘good’ to ‘immense’, because of that inevitable explosion. There’s just no way it can’t. Except, it doesn’t. And I think that’s a bit rubbish.

Tom: I think we need a new category on this blog: “Musical Blueballs”.

Tim: Hmm. Can’t quite see that getting picked up by mainstream music journalists, but it’ll do for us.