Category: Europop

Martin Rolinski – Blame It On A Decent Matter

Used to be in BWO, hasn’t gone in a remotely different direction.

Tim: This bloke used to be in BWO before they split, and unlike other former member Alexander Bard he hasn’t gone in a remotely different direction.

Tom: Ooh, then this promises to be very good indeed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zZMzsSxfEI

Tim: This pretty much has everything – trancey type intro indicating a, well, not quite summer floorfiller, but at least something to keep people on the floor late on a Friday night through to the early hours of Saturday morning, decent beat topping that up throughout the verses, and a good memorable chorus that we can all sing along to after only hearing it once.

Tom: I’m not getting the memorable singalong vibe from it, but otherwise I agree: it’s not a blockbuster hit, but it’d fit perfectly in the middle of a DJ set.

Tim: So why don’t I think it’s great? I mean, I like it, I’d have it on in the background, and it would keep me on the floor as described, but it doesn’t get me going like, say, Swedish House Mafia did.

Tom: Now, I think it’s because the chorus – despite your earlier comment – is just sort of meh. It’s more like an extra verse, really; it doesn’t have the hands-in-the-air moment you want from something like this.

Tim: Hmm, perhaps, but as a first solo single, it’s still not bad. Though actually, what the hell does ‘blame it on a decent matter’ actually mean?

Tom: I was hoping you could explain that.

Mika – Elle Me Dit

Sugary, but with a lot more than that.

Tim: Following a run of a few tracks that weren’t remotely successful over here, he’s gone all French on us for the first song from his next album; if my French serves me correctly, the title translates roughly as ‘She Tells Me’.

Tom: I remember his last album giving me musical diabetes – there was just too much sugar. Is this any different?

Tom: Ooh. It’s still sugary, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

Tim: Yeah, and I really like it – something along the lines of ‘her’, whoever she may be, telling him to dance, and as a piece of music it fits well with that.

Tom: He’s still got the falsetto in there as well, but it’s backed up by more this time.

Tim: And about the fact that it’s in French? Controversial, perhaps, but so what. It won’t sell as well over here, I suppose, but ooh, UNLESS! Maybe he could follow in Avril Lavigne’s footsteps, because what she did with Girlfriend was absolutely wonderful.

Tom: I reckon an English translation could be a proper singalong hit – as I suspect this will be in France.

Saturday Flashback: Helena Paparizou – My Number One

“No other song has made me laugh as hard.”

Tom: “No other song,” says our reader ‘Bunnyunplugged’, “has made me laugh as hard as the lyrics to this little gem.”

Tim: I actually remember really liking this one when it was on, so be careful what you’re about to say, please.

Tom: Really? Well, it takes all sorts. They are pretty terrible lyrics – “You will be the sun into my raining season” particularly – but I reckon this song is better noted for its choreography. Bit of traditional Greek dance? Sure. Boy-band manoeuvres? Okay, throw ’em in. Making all the backup dancers lie down in the shape of a number 1? Why not.

Tim: Hahah, yeah, okay, that is pretty ridiculous.

Tom: If you want a Eurovision song to laugh with, you can do no better than Lithuania, 2006; Ukraine, 2007 or even Germany, 1998. But if you want a Eurovision song to laugh at… well, any better suggestions?

Tim: Eurovision I’m not sure about, but for unintentional humour you’d have to go a long way to beat R Kelly’s 22-act ‘hip-hopera’ Trapped in the Closet. Believe me, it’s worth the time.

Tom: Oh dear. That was once screened in its entirety at a cinema in London. I’m told it was… an experience.

Glorious Inc – Dance Or Die

“I think this really works.”

Tim: Normally when I give you a track, I have a good idea of where you’ll stand with it. This one? Not a clue.

Dance or Die by Glorious Inc

Tim: I think this really works, and according to iTunes Sweden agrees, but what do YOU think?

Tom: I can’t categorise it, but I definitely like it. Well, most of it; it switches itself up so much! I’m embarrassed to say that I think I rather like the dubstep-y bit.

Tim: HA! Knew we’d get you accepting it eventually.

This really does move about everywhere. Ooh, a piano based dance track? Nope. Standard electro-house stuff? Sort of. Bit of dubstep in there? Sure, why not. It sort of reminds me of a DJ at a club I went to recently who seamlessly(ish) mixed Nero into the Spice Girls followed that with LMFAO, then went with Gina G, chucked in some Tinie Tempah and then moved on to Whigfield.

Tom: DJs who can actually pull that off are in pretty short supply. I reckon whoever produced this track might be one of them.

Mina Vänner – Ingen Som

Teenagers being jerks.

Tim: The following contains adult themes, and images which some viewers may find offensive.

Tom: Ooh, good.

Tom: Hold on, those aren’t the good kind of adult themes! That’s just teenagers being jerks.

Tim: Well I suppose so – and what with all the vandalism, theft, alcohol, drugs, nudity, the video is actually considerably more interesting than the music itself.

Tom: And a jacket with “Murder, She Wrote” on the back. Finnish hipsters, or just something his mother handed down to him?

Tim: Not that the music’s bad, though it does get somewhat repetitive. To be honest, this is one of the songs where I really wish I could speak, or at least understand, what they’re on about, because I’m fairly sure it would make it more enjoyable.

Tom: I’m not sure it would; the processing on the voice gives it a kind of nasal whine that reminds me of someone with dodgy adenoids.

Tim: Well, maybe he does have dodgy adenoids. Maybe the song’s all about that, and that far from the whine being irritating, it’s the whole purpose of the song. Though I’ll admit that’s unlikely.

And yes, I can translate the lyrics and all that (though they don’t seem to be online for this), but it’s not quite the same. I do know the title translates to ‘Nobody’ or something similar, but that could be ‘Nobody understands us’ or ‘Nobody can stop us doing what we want to do’ or maybe even ‘Nobody wants to help me sort out my adenoids’.

Tom: Well, I wish someone would stop them.

Tim: Is it just me, or does ‘adenoids’ just sound a bit weird after a while?

Ellen Xylander – One Day We’ll Make It Home

Pleasant. Just, nice.

Tim: Norway, meet country music. Country music, this is Norway.

Tom: They’ve clearly got a budget for this, as they’ve actually shipped her out to California to film at Kirk’s Rock.

Tim: I really like this. Pleasant, just…nice. While ‘nice’ is a bit of a dull word, it does sum up this song. It’s just, well, nice.

Tom: Ooh, now I’d go further than that. It’s really very good – but I also reckon that’s because the first part of that chorus takes some serious inspiration from classic tearjerker 80s power ballad Up Where We Belong.

Tim: Hmm. Although I do have one niggle, best summed up by my thoughts of the last sixty seconds or so: “Ooh, back to the chorus. It’s nice….though, it’s repeating a bit….hang on, there’s a minute left, we can’t start the ending now, surely, not with only six words…can we?…OOH! VARIATION!…oh…well that must have been a whole ten seconds, and we’re back…OK, there are SIX WORDS. SIX WORDS.”

Tom: Can’t hear you. Too busy swaying back and forth with a lighter in the air.

Tim: Summation: I don’t mind a rinse and repeat every now and again, but I would like a few more lyrics please.

Wrethov – One Love One Goal

“Drei Löwen auf dem Hemd, und noch Jules Rimet strahlend, ja?”

Tim: Proving that football isn’t just for blokes, the Women’s World Cup has apparently arrived, and the Swedish have got a theme song. Sung by a bloke, which somewhat spoils it, but never mind.

Tom: Now, let’s be honest: no matter what, this can’t compare to the definitive World Cup song, Three Lions. That song’s got so deep into the footballing world that even the German fans sing it. (I was in the same train carriage as a group of them once.)

Tim: Drei Löwen auf dem Hemd, und noch Jules Rimet strahlend, ja?

Tom: Oh, you totally ran that through Google Translate.

Tim: Anyway, with expectations duly lowered – let’s have a listen to this.

Tim: I really like this. I wasn’t sure to start with about the staccato style of music (get me being all technical), but it gives it a whole ‘yeah, let’s get out and do this thing and win it’ that presumably it’s meant to have.

Tom: Now, personally I can’t hear the crowd chanting “One! Love! One Love One Goal”, but they’ve had a bloody good effort at making a song that’s part-football-chant. I can’t see it taking off, but full marks for effort.

Tim: BETTER ENDING: a key change for just the very last ‘goal’, and extend it a bit, instead of just going back to the usual one.

Oh, and remember Melanie C, the second-most-successful soloist out of the Spice Girls? Turns out she’s done the actual official song.

Tom: That’s… nothing to do with football at all.

Jenni Vartiainen – Eikö Kukaan Voi Meitä Pelastaa?

“Ain’t that just a chorus and a half?”

Tim: Or, alternatively, Can’t Anyone Save us? (ish).

Tom: I think that beat’s the same one as the ‘demo’ on the old Casio keyboard I had when I was five.

Tim: Give it a sec before letting the standard snarkiness kick in, please.

It’s from the same best-selling-of-2010-in-Finland album as En haluu kuolla thingy (she likes the long titles, it seems), and my word ain’t that just a chorus and a half?

Tom: Bloody hell. Talk about a complete change. From Casiocore to full orchestral Broadway production.

Tim: It reminds me – quite a bit, what with the big piano stuff they’ve got going on under everything else – of Didrik Solli-Tangen’s My Heart Is Yours and, much as with that one, I love it. Google seems to fall down a bit when translating Finnish, but this song’s really just about the music, I think, and wow is that some proper music.

Tom: It really is. So… many… instruments!

Tim: I don’t know if it’s a shame the verses aren’t the same level – part of me wishes they were, just because, but part of me likes that the choruses are so big, and that wouldn’t really be appreciated. Besides, it’s not like either of them, especially the second one with the extra beat, is particularly empty.

Tom: There’s no way you could make the verses as big as that chorus. I don’t think you can fit that much music into a song.

Rikke Lie – Such A Lovely Day

Title speaks for itself, really.

Tim: Title speaks for itself, really.

Tim: If I were in a bad mood at the moment, I would hate this. I would think, “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID BLOODY HAPPINESS SHUT UP WITH YOUR SMUG BOYFRIEND”.

Tom: It is unremittingly chipper, isn’t it? It doesn’t seem to be the kind of track that’ll actually put you in a good mood though – it’ll only enhance an existing one. Like Pyro, it can only control the fire, not create it.

Tim: Well, quite, and fortunately, I’m not in a bad mood – seem to be on a break from my usual cynicism right now, which is nice – and so I love this. The build-up to the chorus is where it really gets going, and a smile leaps to your face, and there are no problems anywhere. ANYWHERE. Because it’s just such a lovely day, you see.

Oh, and while we’re here, I think you should take this opportunity to apologise for suggesting she used autotune in her last song, as we have since had the situation clarified.

Tom: Yes – sorry, Rikke! I don’t know whether it’s a good or bad thing that I can’t tell the difference any more.

Lili & Susie feat. Diamond Dogs – Bailamor

Let’s treat ourselves to a good bit of euphoric trance.

Tim: It really is the season now for a good bit of euphoric trance, so let’s treat ourselves.

Tim: You could just dismiss this as the usual sort of stuff that’s generally to be found in the middle of Now That’s What I Call The Trance Annual 2011, or alternatively you could really enjoy it, like I do.

Tom: There’s no reason I can’t do both. And while it hits every item on the euphoric vocal trance checklist, it’s not particularly hard – if it weren’t for those synths in the background, this’d just be regular schlager.

Tim: Admittedly, there’s not a huge amount to write about it, largely because it is the sort of stuff that’s what I said earlier, but I suppose that just leaves more time to listen to it.

The video looks like them rehearsing for a big performance, which is good, as long as they’ve got one coming up. Otherwise it’s just a bit sad.

Tom: It’s actually just their regular morning routine. FACT.