Category: Europop

Saturday Flashback: Günther feat. Samantha Fox – Touch Me

“Got to number one in Sweden.”

Tim: I normally pay no attention to Big Brother – I’ve watched a few series in my time, but nothing since 2009 – but this year it turns out Samantha Fox is in the celebrity version, and finding that out put me in mind of this, which got to number one in Sweden.

Tom: I’m learning that “got to number one in Sweden” is not necessarily an endorsement.

Tim: Well, you say that, but it’s a cover of Samantha’s 1986 Touch Me (I Want Your Body), and that was a perfectly decent piece of ’80s pop, holding up fairly well over time. This, then, is…

Tim: …almost entirely awful.

Tom: Yep. Apart from the parts that are just cribbed from the original.

Tim: Her redone vocals for the chorus are fine, as is the rest of the chorus, musically, but the rest of it is just not good. The beat is dull and repetitive, mostly so when it’s not being sung over, bizarrely. Günther himself sounds like he’s trying to be H.P. Baxter, but is failing miserably.

Tom: Two Xs in Baxxter, although for the discount version here perhaps your styling is more apt.

Tim: Do you know, I have never felt so let down by bastard autocorrect, but you could be right with that second part – he looks like someone who should be barred from going within 100 metres of any park ever. And even though that chorus is good, the amount it gets repeated led me to be thinking “it must be nearly over now” before I was even two minutes in.

Tom: Ha! Yes, about the same here. Still, number one in Sweden.

Tim: Oh, Sweden. Why?

Mohombi – Infinity

“Where is all the wind coming from?”

Tim: 2016 arguably has two massive musical clichés. One, the “boom-wherp-boom-wherp” dance line I mentioned on Wednesday; the other, a pineapple. So Tom, I have a proposition for you. Let’s EMBRACE it – the summer, the warmth, the citrus feeling, the upcoming weekend – and introduce TROPICAL FRIDAYS.

Tom: Oh crikey. I’m okay with that, but let’s see how long it lasts. Tropical house can’t be a thing forever.

Tim: We’ve already had MØ and Matoma this month, so I say we head to Tesco, grab a bunch of coconuts, and just make it official.

Tom: That is very tropical.

Tim: So let’s get the obvious right out of the way: the narrative of the video doesn’t really make any sense at all – why has he chopped all his belongings in half?

Tom: Why have they pixelated all the drinks?

Tim: Why do we have palm trees, a beach and midday outside his windows but sunset and rain outside her indoors orchard?

Tom: That sounds like a euphemism.

Tim: Oh, it does a bit doesn’t it? Sorry. But also: where is all the wind coming from, given that the windows on the far side of his room are closed? And most of all, why can’t they both just climb out of said windows and meet up behind the house rather than smashing the entire damn wall down with a curiously not-chopped-in-half sledgehammer that he apparently keeps lying around in his living room?

BUT ANYWAY, we’re not here purely to question the video – we’re also here to discuss the music, which is, well, entirely typical of the genre. All the bits are there – marimba, steel drums, and I think we’ve even got some pan pipes in there at some point.

Tom: There’s definitely a bit of 90s influence in here too. That’s not a complaint, just an observation.

Tim: All in all, a great start for our new regular feature.

Tom: I give it a month.

Tim: Oh, you haven’t seen how much tripe we get sent. Next Friday’s a STORMER.

Benjamin feat. Sweet California – Man On The Moon

“This is how you do a summer song.”

Tim: Take one Finnish singer, add one Swedish Spanish girlband, start with some acoustic guitars and happy lyrics, place in a recording studio for four minutes and it turns out you’ll find yourself a decent pop song. Add in a couple of beachballs, a swimming pool and a few hot models, you might even find a video as well.

Tom: And this is how you do a summer song. My one complaint is those “i-i-i-i-i” bits. There’s nothing particularly astonishing in here, but it’s a nice enough track.

Tim: Isn’t it just? Mind you, I say happy lyrics, they could in theory almost be written by the old guy from last year’s John Lewis advert, but let’s pretend that watching someone constantly from a long way away isn’t creepy – after all, the girls involved clearly have no problem with it – and I can get on board.

Tom: That’s fair. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Tim: Upbeat music, generally fun and pleasant vibe, fairly good summery third track from an album stuff, really. No complaints from me.

Helena Paparizou – Fiesta

Tim: Lest you forget, Helena’s half-Greek, and so it’s only natural that that side might come out upon creating a Mediterranean-flavoured summer beach track. Like this one, for example (which, before you ask, is not about a three-door hatchback).

Tim: Unlike yesterday, I don’t need to worry about speaking the language because she’s recorded an English version as well; also unlike yesterday, the music and the lyrics complement each other perfectly, with chorus lines like “my heart’s about to explode…we are two bodies in fiesta mode”.

Tom: Okay, that’s the worst Transformers power up I’ve ever heard of. Fiesta mode? Really?

Tim: Basically: get out on the beach/expansive patio, cocktails in your hands and bikinis and swimming shorts on, and probably off again later if we’re being honest.

Tom: We’ve heard this all before, so many times. And yes, we’ve heard better, although this is probably in at least the top… half?

Tim: It’s not a remotely original vibe, as a good dozen of these can be guaranteed to appear every summer; right now, though, sitting on my balcony, with the sun staring down at me, in the knowledge that I’ve a couple of weeks off work soon, I’ll absolutely take this exactly as it is.

Panetoz – Om

Tim: Let’s get the week off to a good start, shall we? Nice upbeat party track for you from Panetoz, with a title translating to If.

Tim: Each chorus line is basically “If [example of shit happening happens], we’ll have each other,” which I suppose is nice as long as you’re not the husband and wife in The Purge, but that might be too obscure a reference to stick with so I’ll move on.

Tom: Far too obscure for me. But at least, as the old saying goes, they got straight to the chorus.

Tim: Basically, for anyone not interested in violent and somewhat disturbing sociologically experimental films, it’s a let’s have fun track. So much fun, in fact, that to be honest I can’t imagine where the lyrics came from – it’s one of the biggest disjoints between music and lyrical mood I’ve heard in a while. UPBEAT PARTY SHOUT YEAH so let’s imagine the world ending PARTY WOOOH!!!

Tom: And it is a pretty good party track, isn’t it? Sure, it’s lightweight, but it gets the job done. Horn section in the background, clapping and cheering samples, boxes ticked.

Tim: Ah, well – fortunately for me I don’t know anywhere near enough Swedish to let that distract me, so I’m just going to feel happy.

Micky Skeel – Kys Ham Nu

“That is very mildly tropical.”

Tim: Crack open a bottle of pineapple juice, as it’s time to get mildly tropical!

Tom: That is very mildly tropical.

Tim: Micky’s Danish, and was formerly part of PULS who we wrote about a few times; this is a different style, and it’s really not all that bad is it? If you’re a fan of languages being basically sonically interchangeable, you’ll be pleased to know the title translates to Kiss Him Now.

Tom: I love sentences in other languages that just sound like they’re really angry English.

Tim: The logic? Well, Micky basically wants to find out if he’s over the target of the song. Which is fair enough – a slightly unusual way of finding closure, perhaps, but if it works for him and she’s got a new squeeze, who are we to complain?

Musically it’s, well – depends whether you think tropical house should’ve been killed off six months ago or if you’re happy with it seeping through into other genres, really.

Tom: Like pineapple juice through a sieve, it’s a very small and slow seepage. I do think it works here: at least they aren’t just using Kygo’s synth patches.

Tim: I’ve no particular problems with it, so here’s to tropical pop! Otherwise known as Lilt, now I come to think about it. Hmm.

Madilyn Bailey – Wiser

“I am severely JUDGING the guy at 2:42”

Tom: This is a really confusing and distracting video, so I recommend putting it in the background.

Tim: I don’t know, I don’t mind that video. Though I am severely JUDGING the guy at 2:42 looking at the screen not the camera, that’s textbook stuff mate.

Tom: This was sent in by our anonymous reader, who says: “It really isn’t that bad for a singer who made fame from YouTube.” And that’s not inaccurate: that’s a pretty good chorus. And as breakup songs go, this is a pretty good message for one to have.

Tim: It is indeed very good – don’t really want to say surprising, but I’d at least like to know who the writers are.

Tom: I will admit to snickering a little at “thank you for making it harder”, though.

Tim: Mature as ever, well done Tom.

Anna Abreu – Räjäytä Mun Mieli

“It just falls into that giant valley of ‘meh’”

Tim: BLOW MY MIND, says Anna in Finnish, and it’s…interesting.

Tim: You see there are bits in there I like, and other bits that I’m really not. That distorted accordion-ish instrumental second half of the chorus in particular really doesn’t do it for me; on the other hand the first half before it is exactly what I want to hear, and the verses are very serviceable, as far as standard pop verses go in this line of music.

Tom: Blimey, Tim, that’s a hell of a run-on sentence there.

Tim: It is, now I read it back. Sorry about that.

Tom: Yes, the accordion thing is disappointing — and sadly, so is the rest of the chorus for me. There’s nothing specifically wrong with it, it just falls into that giant valley of “meh” that alas contains far too much pop music.

Tim: Maybe, though I think it’s just that at the moment I don’t really know what to think – if it was in English I’d probably make up my mind by judging the lyrics; as it is, we don’t even have a video to judge narrative structure and the like. For the time being, then, I’m going to have to stand firmly on the fence, until we receive MORE.

Polarsea – Don’t Let Me Go

“I don’t want to get all Mary Whitehouse here.”

Tim: Strong language ahead from this new Swede, but I hope you’ll agree it’s worth it.

Tom: I’m not sure it is. Why?

Tim: Well, I think it’s just great. Underlying melody, on point vocals and a decent beat underlying it (though I dread to think how many times I’ve written those four words about a song here).

Tom: All that’s true: although like many songs we talk about, it struggles to soar above the wastelands of “decent” and reach the… something… of “memorable”. Look, I’m tired, I’m not good at metaphors, OK?

Tim: I do find it weird when any standard pop song like this does throw in swearing, though – generally it’s happy and in an upbeat style, but then you’re brought right out of it with a “woah, where did that come from?”

Tom: Exactly! That’s why I don’t think it’s worth it.

Tim: Hmm – I don’t think it anywhere nears ruins it or anything, but I will say that while I don’t want to get all Mary Whitehouse here, would “I’m a goddamn ghost” be so bad? Other than that, though: top marks.

Infinity – Rainbow Sky

“Endlessly upbeat”.

Tim: Infinity had a few hits in Norway in the glory Eurodance days of the late 1990s; now they’re back with this. Advance warning: there is a part of this – specifically, the second half of the first verse – that you won’t like. But PUSH THROUGH IT.

Tom: Actually, all that pretty much works for me. I don’t know why: I normally can’t deal with something so endlessly upbeat.

Tim: And oh, that chorus is just so… pleasant. It’s genuinely lovely. It’s the musical version of a cute little puppy, who everybody loves and can’t possibly not love.

Tom: Careful, Tim, that nearly tripped me over into cynicism. Believe me, it’s possible to not love a puppy.

Tim: Well, if you’re a monster, but the metaphor continues. Perhaps it could be described as a bit too saccharine, with a slight Raining Sunshine vibe, but then it goes and does a big poo, which in this metaphor represents the guy with his autotuned singing.

Tom: That’s a terrible metaphor, particularly because I actually think it works.

Tim: Really?

Tom: I don’t mind autotune as a good stylistic choice, or subtly used to fix things: it’s where it just suddenly creeps into otherwise-natural vocals that it bugs me.

Tim: Hmm, fair enough. But the rest of it – well, it’s rainbow skies. Happiness, and loveliness, and all the positive -inesses that there are, really. Just…all the niceness.

Tom: I’m so close to cynicism. So close.