Europop – Page 58

Lena Philipsson – Gråt inga tårar

“Timpani hits!”

Tim: Back to the good stuff, and let’s have this from Lena – in case you need an intro, she’s Swedish, has been going over thirty years, representing Sweden at Eurovision 12 years ago, and this here, translating as Shed No Tears, is her second release from album number 13.

Tim: Starts big, stays big, and indeed basically just is big.

Tom: Timpani hits! There are timpani hits in there, I think, or something very close to them. Not something you hear in pop music since… well, since Aqua, perhaps?

Tim: Quite possibly. It’s not a modern sound by any standards, but it’s picking up plenty of plays on Sweden’s equivalent of Radio 2 so the target market clearly like it, and I do too.

Tom: I know I’ve heard something very similar to the first line of that chorus before in a few places, but I don’t give a damn. It’s a really good first line.

Tim: Not a huge amount more to say about it, really – it’s a good track, more or less exactly as we’d really expect from anybody still going strong for as long as she has. Great to know she’s still got it, and here’s to albums 14, 15, and all the rest.

Saturday Reject: Samanta Tīna – We Live For Love

“Heck of a dress.”

Tim: Remember Germany last year, when the person who’d been chosen to represent pulled out immediately after being crowned? (If not, here’s the car crash moment, and you don’t need to speak German to feel the cringe.)

Tom: Has it happened again? Oh, tell me it’s happened again.

Tim: Not quite, but something similar happened in Latvia, though it wasn’t quite so last minute – just after performing, Samanta rushed over to say that actually, she didn’t think her song was good enough, and wanted to withdraw. That was with a different song, though – here’s her second song, which somehow didn’t make it past the first heat.

Tom: Heck of a dress.

Tim: Isn’t it just? I mean, in any sane world, that dress alone should be enough to get her a pass straight to the final – we may have had projection mapping a few weeks back with Wiktoria, but I’m fairly sure this is the first time clothing has ever been used for set design.

Tom: Also, full marks for eyelashes. Not sure about the interpretive dance in the background though.

Tim: Well, they could just hide behind the dress. (Again, not something you could say about many clothes.) Sadly, though, that seemingly wasn’t enough to overcome things like that weird slightly nasal tone her voice takes on in the chorus, or – well, I don’t know, really, because that’s the only thing I don’t like about this.

Tom: There are a couple of duff notes in there, and while that’s a harsh thing to grade on when the rest of her performance is great — Europe’s voters won’t give any leniency there.

Tim: I’d have thought the rest would be good enough to proceed through at least the semi-final, but alas, no – guess she’ll have to try another year. After all, after your fifth attempt you might as well keep on going, right?

Rod feat. Soundstreamers – Light It Up

“It’s certainly awful. I’m not sure about wonderful.”

Tim: You know how people often have a negative view of European dance and pop music, and we’re stuck defending it and saying that actually it’s very well produced and original and definitely not rubbish? WELL, lets have some fun on a Friday as we sit back and be entirely unable to defend this, from a Swedish production duo and a singer off Albania’s The Voice (yup, really).

Tim: Oh, isn’t it wonderfully awful?

Tom: I mean, it’s certainly awful. I’m not sure about wonderful. That’s the most monotone verse I’ve heard in a long while.

Tim: From the first notes that come straight out of Pitbull’s cutting room floor to the mediocre rapping, from the myriad weird effects in the video to them occasionally forgetting to remove the snow overlay from the interior clips.

Tom: Is that snow, or is it just dust being shown up by the lighting?

Tim: Well that’s one hell of a dusty workshop, he should be ashamed of himself. I want to list more from…to… bits, but it truth there’s so little variation it’s almost impossible to. The chorus, admittedly, is comparatively not bad, but I’d say that there are nineteen seconds of this track which are actually enjoyable – from the key change at 3:09, through the fairly decent chorus with the layered vocals, until it drops back to the Pitbull reject beats at 3:26 and stays far beyond its welcome.

Tom: You forget the bizarre overlaid voice at 3:20 that sounds like an error in the mixing.

Tim: See I like all those overlays – provides something of interest to the song.

Tom: Remember, though: if you don’t know the genre, if your ears aren’t attuned to pop: this is what most of the stuff we listen to sounds like. Those people who think all hip-hop’s just people yelling over a sample, or all opera’s just some bloke yelling notes?

Tim: Ehhhhhhh…maybe there’s something to be said for that. Just, ever so slightly, maybe. But, having levelled all the criticisms – would I dance my absolute nut off to this with enough rum & diet Coke in my system? OH HELL YEAH.

Victor Crone – Feelgood Day

“Those are bloody awful lyrics.”

Tim: Second single from Swedish Victor, and before you push play, I’ll ask you not to be immediately put off by the lyrics in the first verse.

Tom: Those are bloody awful lyrics.

Tim: Indeed: let’s face it, the issues are myriad. ‘Shades of grey are more than fifty’ makes it already outdated, the restricted zone metaphor doesn’t make much sense, and I’m fairly sure ‘You’re not answering your phone, right outside and I can hear you’ would be grounds for a restraining order. Add that to the inevitably irritating ukulele twanging, and you’re almost certain to end up with a song I’ll hate.

Tom: “Your life is a restricted zone.” I’d say that’s a translation issue, but I can’t even work out what that might have been translated from.

Tim: Yeah – it’s really quite bizarre. After all that, though, and just as I’m preparing to throw my iPad across the room, that chorus comes along.

Tom: And it could be so trite! The lyrics are sophomoric, the melody is predictable (and has something of the Bublé about it) but somehow the sheer major-key enthusiasm of it saves it.

Tim: It really does just sound so good. Nowhere near good enough to make up for those lyrics, verse instrumentation, the missing space in the title and entire lack of effort from the middle eight onwards, but that it still a chorus that brings along, yup, a ‘feelgood’ day. Nice lyric video as well, so, hmm, 27%.

Saturday Reject: Freddy Kalas – Feel Da Rush

“The moment I realised Daz Sampson was not a uniquely British institution.”

Tim: 21st February 2016, 21:30 GMT. The wonderful, joyous moment I realised Daz Sampson was not a uniquely British institution.

Tim: Now I watched this, and had that moment. It was wonderful, he was my new favourite, but obviously it’s ridiculous, and it couldn’t possibly get voted through.

Tom: Good heavens, that’s ridiculous. And amazing. And… wait, what happens with that cut at 0:16? Have they got two steadicam operators, both rotating around him? That sort of sums up the whole thing right there. How did that even get to the main show?

Tim: Which was my thought – there were better songs, there were bigger reactions in the crowd – just, why? So I kept blathering on Twitter, made my predictions for the Gold Final (top four), as is my wont during selection programmes, but then after the third only one had got through, I posted “Blimey, I’m having a shocker on the predictions front tonight. Maybe Norwegian Daz will get through.”

AND THEN HE BLOODY DID. AND I SMILED SO MUCH THAT TEARS CAME TO MY EYES.

Tom: You’re kidding me.

Tim: Actual tears, Tom. So then he performed again, and I realised I’d been paying so much attention to his hat, and the girls with the floral necklaces, and the enormous spark fountains, and the mixing desk disguised as a cocktail bar, and all the very very caucasian people that I had somehow not noticed that he kept that cod Jamaican accent going throughout and that, weirdly, I quite liked it as a track.

Tom: It sounds like someone mixed Aviici with Peter Andre. And gave him some steel drum samples and a ludicrous t-shirt. And then actually made the song catchy.

Tim: It’s utterly ridiculous, but it’s just a whole lot of fun. And then to top it all off – in the end, he actually came second, coming well ahead of even Norway’s favourite boyband, Suite 16. It was absolutely wonderful.

Danny Saucedo – Hör vad du säger men jag har glömt vad du sa

“I am very, very much in favour of songs like this”

Tim: Alternatively, “I hear what you say but I’ve forgotten what you said”, and after a year or so of mostly dull ballads, he’s back to doing what he does best.

Tim: Other lines in the chorus include “who was it who said that, was it you or me?” – basically, this is a great relationship running on full throttle. And it’s a song that reflects that – from the brash singing that’s basically chanting right through to the jubilant woooooooahs that penetrate the latter half of it – along with a video to boot.

Tom: It’s a fine line between “great party” and “what a bunch of jerks” in a video like this, and for me it definitely ends up on the wrong side of it. Interesting to see bits of vertical video actually make it in as a deliberate style choice, though.

Tim: Yeah, I quite liked that – almost made the party seem more realistic.

Tom: I seem to have a lot of opinions about the video and very few about the music.

Tim: I am very, very much in favour of songs like this, to the extent that actually I feel a bit let down that it isn’t even louder.

Tom: And you’re right there — perhaps that’s why I’m not really sold on the music. It’s certainly a Big Party Song, but despite that it somehow leaves me a little bit cold. The words are there, but perhaps not all the meaning.

Tim: I’m not entirely sure what I’d do to make it bigger – maybe it’s just that that’s not quite enough of a jump from the verse to the chorus. Still, while it’s here, let’s enjoy and go full on FUN HAPPY PARTY WOOO!!!!

Roxette – It Just Happens

“Talk about don’t bore us, get to the chorus.”

Tim: Yesterday Rick Astley, today Roxette. Apparently we’ve fallen through time so, as ever, be careful around your parents and all that.

Tim: And talk about don’t bore us, get to the chorus. It takes guts to open a song with the chorus – it’s a bit like starting a TV episode with a shocking scene and then showing a “48 hours earlier” caption, because if the rest of it doesn’t measure up then your audience will switch off fairly quickly. Here, though, I’ve no qualms with it – it sets up the scene nicely, blasts us in the face with the message and then steps back a bit to explain it.

Tom: “In medias res” is the technical term — by which I mean, the Latin term — and it’s generally a successful gambit in film. If this is the start of a trend in music, I’m happy with it.

Tim: Another nice thing, which is exactly the same that was present during their last revival: a mixture of their originals 80s sound and modern sounds in there as well.

Tom: It is! It’s never going to storm the charts, but it’s a good opener to a new album that their fans will love.

Tim: Hopefully, yes. Modern pop backing, but some distinctly previous vocals in the chorus (to the extent that I’m sure I’ve heard that “if it’s right or wrong”/”will always find a way” lead in to the chorus before in another old song).

Tom: And that chorus does, unfortunately, keep reminding me of the Lonely Island’s “I Just Had Sex”. It’s those aa-aa-aahs in the background.

Tim: I haven’t listened to that song in ages, so can’t remember it; I won’t play now in case it ruins this. Also from the 80s, and less welcome here: the fade out, as it really doesn’t belong in a 2010s song. Basically, that aside, this is more or less exactly what I didn’t know I would have wanted from a new Roxette track. Excellent work, everybody.

Nina Kraljić – Lighthouse

“You almost want to play the “alright, give it a rest, love” card.”

Tim: And now, one we significantly disagreed on, and it’s Croatia with a singer who, controversially, did find success from winning The Voice. Well, sort of – the two singles she released entirely failed to chart, but at least she’s been chosen for this. I liked it quite a lot, but you not so much. Have another listen, see what you think.

Tim: It starts out nice and calm, and then, as the metaphorical seas get darker and choppier, builds to a song that is louder and more dramatic than we’d have imagined previously, almost to the extent that when the key change happens you almost want to play the “alright, give it a rest, love” card. And yet it still works, for the vast majority of it, even after that.

Tom: For you, maybe. For me: it really doesn’t. The melody sounds like a kids’ song, the chorus is just a bit dull despite all the effort put into it… it just bounces off me and makes me shrug a bit.

Tim: The verses are lovely, the chorus is lovely, there’s a nice melody throughout the middle eight, and once that massive out of control soaring vocal has calmed down it all goes back to working. No?

Tom: I don’t think it was ever working in the first place. I think this one’s down to personal taste, Tim: it just sounds like a Corrs album track to me.

Donny Montell – I’ve Been Waiting For This Night

“If Europeans have any sense at all…”

Tim: Rounding off our top three 2016 Eurovision tracks, this comes from Lithuania and sits nicely amongst a female power ballad and a schlager prince as an excellent example of decent, mainstream male fronted pop.

Tim: For reasons that’ll become clear in due course, I’ve been listening to Let It Go a LOT lately —

Tom: I’m hoping you’re performing as Elsa in Disney on Ice, but I suspect that’s not why.

Tim: Correct. — and so I can’t help but clench my fists at those first few notes of each verse. On the other hand, everything else about it is so good that I can’t help but forgive that. It’s Donny’s second trip to Eurovision, following his mid-table placement in 2012 with Love is Blind, and if Europeans have any sense at all this’ll do a whole lot better than that.

Tom: Ah, but do they? Or will they see it as being a bit too retro, a bit too slow in the verses, not quite enough to make it? It’s good, but those verses are…

Tim: Starting out mild and calm, then descending swiftly into hefty amount of dance beats in the chorus and never really letting go. Let’s be honest: if this was an X Factor winner’s single, it’d be straight to number one – as it is, being an eastern European entry for Eurovision it’ll probably sink internationally without a trace.

Tom: I said that about Ben Haenow’s debut single. And then.

Tim: Hmm. Still, let’s give it its two months of glory, shall we?

Samra – Miracle

“It’s all about the POWER.”

Tim: Another of my favourites, and I believe yours when we listened to them all by no small margin, this is from Azerbaijan. Like yesterday it’s an internal selection, with a singer who’s competed (and done well) in both Turkey and Azerbaijan’s editions of The Voice.

Tom: Yep, this is still my favourite of the selection, although I suspect it’ll be overtaken by others as I listen to them more and more. But most of the audience will only hear it once: and I reckon this’ll grab them.

Tim: Quite probably, because here it’s all about the POWER. Samra’s described it as “the anthem of a strong and brave girl”, and she’s hoping to “inspire those who lost their love to take the right decision and move on.” And that’s a very noble aim, and with these lyrics and the strength of the song, sure, let’s assume that’ll happen.

Tom: I’m sure I’ve heard that “miracle, oh-oh” construction somewhere before, but if so, it’s stuck in memory mainly because it’s really, really good.

Tim: I can’t see it charting outside of Eurovision, much as I’d like it to be, but that doesn’t change the fact that, assuming they do they staging right, it should be an incredible song to see at the final (as it will surely get to). Strong. Very, very strong.