Saturday Reject – Page 13

Saturday Reject: Shirley Clamp – Burning Alive

“A brilliantly executed powerful ballad.”

Tim: Her first Melodifestivalen entry since 2011 (when she led the pop group Shirley’s Angels), this came sixth in last week’s very strong heat.

Tim: It’s wonderful Shirley, and a brilliantly executed powerful ballad.

Tom: It’s emotional, certainly, but it sounds more like a bit of a riff on Sia’s “She-Wolf” to me — without David Guetta, I’ll grant you, but that piano riff and voice a just a bit too similar.

Tim: Hmm, you’re possibly right, though I didn’t notice it so I’m not that bothered. Unlike Thursday’s track, this deserves emotion, and she provides it in bucketloads, and then there are the backing singers, not appearing on stage because we can’t possibly distract from Shirley and her “got them so I’ll flaunt them” attitude to her legs.

Tom: I can’t fault her performance, that’s true.

Tim: It’s all complemented perfectly by the key change and the wind machine, which let’s face it would be better described as a storm-force gale machine. Basically, in any other wear this would have deserved a straight-to-final placing; on the other hand, it’s a high quality of song we’re seeing this year, so commiserations, Shirley, but what can you do.

Saturday Reject: NeAngely – Courageous

“An interesting one, certainly.”

Tim: We all up for a trip to Ukraine?

Tom: Данцінґ!

Tim: Of course.

Tom: Look, they’re not going to beat Verka, are they?

Tim: Well not with this, certainly, what with it having been binned off already.

Tom: Blimey. That’s a bold choice for Eurovision: picking two women with fairly deep voices, at least as female vocalists go. That certainly sets it aside from the pack, but I’m not sure the rest of the production’s up to it.

Tim: There wasn’t a huge amount of great stuff in their contest this year, but this was a pleasant schlager highlight, being as it is a Melodifestivalen rejected written by notable Swede Alexander Bard. (As for the band name – no idea.)

Tom: It’s an interesting one, certainly, but there’s no way it’s a Eurovision winner.

Tim: The winner was actually rather disappointing in comparison, but given the difference between the original and final version of Gravity, that’s not necessarily something to worry about. It does make me wonder what they could have achieved with this given time and opportunity, though. Well, probably a key change. That’d be good.

Tom: It’s certainly disappointing without.

Saturday Reject: Elisa Lindström – Casanova

“That song IS Melodifestivalen.”

Tim: THIRTEEN WEEKS TO GO, THOMAS!

Tom: BRING IT ON!

Tim: For those that weren’t with us last year, this is the part of year when we scour the various national competitions to weed out the songs that are very good, but apparently just aren’t quite good enough to be sent forth to represent their nation. God only knows how this one wasn’t good enough, but it came sixth in last week’s Melodifestivalen heat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0OSxRa6DO0

Tim: Because seriously, that song IS Melodifestivalen. The lights, the confetti, the generous key change —

Tom: The wind machine. Oh, that wind machine.

Tim: — the beat-perfect choreography and most of all the aggression in it. Not an angry aggression, not an unpleasant one – instead, a performance that states, in no uncertain terms, that THIS IS POP. This is MUSICAL PERFECTION. This is UNBEATABLE.

Tom: You say “unbeatable”, but…

Tim: Sadly, Sweden disagreed.

Tom: Yep. We’ve established before that schlager doesn’t really do well at the final. Are they right to reject it as a winner? Probably. Does it deserve to be abandoned? Hell no.

Saturday Reject: Martin Rolinski – In And Out Of Love

“A perfect example of ‘Swedish pop music’.”

Tim: Tonight’s the night, and we’ve just got time for this, from Martin Rolinski – you’ll recognise the voice, I trust, from Swedish band-of-the-00s BWO, and this year he took time out of his day job as an engineering scientist to return to the music world for one competition only.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lad0OuNjRwQ

Tom: My word, he sounds a lot like Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys in this track. Can’t say I’ve heard it before, though – perhaps he just had a bit of a cold on the night and went a bit nasal. It’s not a bad track, though – how’d it do?

Tim: Got through to Andra Chansen, and ended up in the top half of that, but didn’t quite get to the final. That’s a shame, for one particular reason: I reckon it’s a perfect example of ‘Swedish pop music’. He had it back in BWO, and he’s still got it now – it’s the melody, the vocal, the backing, the bright colours, everything. It’s all there, and it’s exactly the sort of music that represents Swedish pop at its best.

Or at least it was, five years ago.

Tom: It still sounds good to me. What’s changed?

Tim: Oh, it’s certainly still good, but now, things are different – pop music has become somewhat homogenised, and, for better or worse, a lot of pop music from Sweden doesn’t sound hugely different from pop music from other countries. This, though, is a track that could only really come from Sweden, and that’s why it’s a shame it’s been knocked out.

Saturday Reject: LaBrassBanda – Nackert

Imagine some Germans playing music.

Tim: A song that was massively popular amongst the German people, getting nine out of nine 12 points from radio station audiences and 10 points from the TV viewers, but horrifically bombed with the jury.

Tom: Popularly known as “doing a Jedward”.

Tim: Before we listen to it, though, I want you to imagine some Germans playing music. Feel free to stereotype as much as you like, but focus on the whole thing – music, clothing, the whole shebang.

Got it?

Tom: Yep. I’ve got a hell of a stereotype in my head, though, this had better be…

Tom: …good grief. I can see exactly why the voting broke down that way.

Tim: Yes, it’s not hard to work out. Let’s ignore the rapping, because that’s not very good and is really just a bloke speaking quickly. I might appreciate it more if I could remember more German from school, but I can’t, and Google’s translation fails horribly on these lyrics. The rest, though: blimey. First, we have actual lederhosen.

Tom: Not the full traditional national dress, but somehow just the shorts makes it a bit worse.

Tim: Secondly, holy trinity of trumpet, trombone and tuba, which come into their own when it becomes apparent that what we initially thought would be a standard breakdown (albeit brassier than usual) turns into a completely different second half of the song.

Tom: You see, I associate a brass section with a full-on ska or punk band these days, so this just sounds a bit half-arsed to me – where are the raucous electric guitars?

Tim: Ska? Punk? Mate, this is meant to be stereotypical, racist-if-anyone-else-suggested-it traditional German stuff. Raucous electric guitars? What’s wrong with you?

Tom: No, I mean that’s what I expected – I’m not used to hearing brass as the lead. It just sounds half-finished to someone who’s used to hearing, well, something like this.

Tim: Ah, fair enough. But thirdly, finally, and most intriguingly, they’re not afraid to take on a challenge that no-one has ever thought to set: “What do you mean, you need a vocalist for a key change?”

Saturday Reject: Anina – The Young

“Loud and brash, with a big message that’ll turn off the old people.”

Tim: I said at the weekend that Norway’s final was somewhat disappointing; that’s true, but this, that got knocked out in heat 3, is an absolute cracker.

Tom: DRUMS.

Tim: Exactly. Cracker. There were a couple of times when I almost got turned off – the shouty opening, and the intro to the first chorus – but man, am glad I didn’t close that tab. Because as a pop song, that’s almost Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger material.

Tom: Now, that’s a bold claim. I reckon it’s got just as good a chorus as Stronger has – it’s just a shame about the intro into it and the rest of the verses. What’s with that ‘ooh’ part?

Tim: Well, alright, it’s not that good, but it is bloody impressive (and I quite like the ‘ooh’ part). It’s loud, brash and in your face, with a big message that’ll turn off the old people. It’s heavy on the instruments, and it’s got lights that seem bang on for the song. And most importantly, it’s brought by a singer who, while a tad shaky on the vocals when live, really does give it everything – so much that she seems to be on the verge of collapsing by the end of it. And that, I think, is a sign of a good song.

Tom: The studio version sells the song a lot better than her live performance – which perhaps means that it wasn’t the right choice for Eurovision. Cracking track, though.

Saturday Reject: Felicia Olsson – Make Me No 1

FIRE UP THE WIND MACHINE!

Tim: It’s the closest Melodifestivalen got this year to a female power ballad, so (slightly) FIRE UP THE WIND MACHINE!

Tim: And what a lovely tune that is.

Tom: Got to be honest: I zoned out half way through that and got distracted.

Tim: Some (probably including me if I was in a different mood, and apparently including you) may say yawn yawn snoozefest, but by the end it’s built up into sometime you can actually get into.

Tom: I went back and listened again, starting half way through – and I still started to lose focus. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t seem to leave one octave during that chorus – maybe it’s just that, despite all the energy in that final chorus, it ain’t that good a melody.

Tim: It got knocked straight out of the second Melodifestivalen heat, which isn’t a big surprise – Eurovision and associated competitions are generally a place for fun and jollity, rather than a big soulful number like this – but it’s still a decent number and elsewhere could probably have done fairly well. Oh well, it didn’t. Never mind.

Saturday Reject: Kate Hall – I’m Not Alone

Tim: Our final trip to Denmark, and it’s not a million miles away from Daze, the first one we looked at three months back.

Tim: It’s slightly toned down, but it more than makes up for that with both the smoke and wind machines turned up so high that by the end of it she looks like she’s in the middle of a tornado and you want her to put her Death Eater cape back on so she doesn’t catch a cold.

Tom: Bloody hell, the staging went over the top with that. They do like their constantly-dropping spotlights, don’t they? It’s like someone put a one-second clip of the X Factor results night on repeat.

Tim: Yes, and the good second. The one second out of the whole hour that isn’t interminably dull.

And while I said slightly toned down above, that’s a bit like saying something’s slightly quieter than a Boeing 747. It’s still got a ridiculous amount of everything to it, and in a very laudable manner. The spotlights that fall in the chorus and just keep coming, row after row after row in an eternity of joy. The exploding fireworks factory in the background. The endless howling over the closing choruses.

Tom: She’s pretty much going for her own key change there, even if the rest of the song isn’t.

Tim: It’s all just marvellous.

Saturday Reject: Yohio – Heartbreak Hotel

“Wouldn’t be a middle of the table finisher.”

Tim: Well, there’s less than a week to go until Eurovision, but we’ve still got a good few tracks that didn’t qualify to get through; shall we have a week of Saturdays?

One from the Melodifestivalen final, here, and an interesting one – came top by quite some margin in the Swedish vote, but the international juries weren’t keen at all, marking it second from bottom. When added together, it came a close(ish) second to Robin Stjernberg.

Tom: Can I add here that Melodifestivalen’s final is essentially an improved Eurovision? It’s shorter, the scoring system is better and much more dramatic, and there’s no bloody Graham Norton talking over everything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msJ0V-0AvCs

Tim: I’ve got to say I’m on the side of the juries, here.

Tom: Now that’s interesting, because I rather liked it. What do you think of it?

Tim: Well, it certainly wouldn’t be a middle of the table finisher – depending on the mood of the night, I think it’d either do very well or appallingly badly. It’s got a lot going for it – pyros, bright colours, memorable chorus line, interesting character who knows how to give everything he’s got – but it’s also got the whole rock thing going on, which really doesn’t do it for me in this instance. Sometimes that’ll triumph, but sometimes it just falters horribly.

Tom: Hmm. Perhaps, but I still think there’s a good track under there – admittedly, perhaps not a good Eurovision track.

Tim: Maybe it would have been a good entry – there is, after all, no risk of Sweden bombing out in the semi-finals this year – but I myself just couldn’t warm to it.

Saturday Reject: Sirkus Eliassen – I Love You Te Quiero

“Patently awful.”

Tim: It’s fair to say that this year, Norway’s Melodi Grand Prix final was somewhat disappointing; the winner was very good, but that aside there weren’t really any great tracks. There was, however, this. Now, the opening of this places it pretty much on the edge of novelty, and we’re not entirely sure whether it’s meant to be serious or not. Once the backing dancers arrive though, it’s a little bit clearer.

Tim: It could be said that this is patently awful, and makes a mockery of Eurovision and that malarkey.

Tom: Well, it is patently awful.

Tim: Yes, it is. As a song it’s ridiculous – whilst rapped verses with a holiday vibe chorus is by no means unheard of, lyrics along the lines of “Living room, kitchen, bathroom, phone and even the bedroom…we’ve done it everywhere” don’t exactly scream lyrical masterclass. And as a performance – really? I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be said about four giant rabbits playing the drums.

Tom: Yep, you’ve summed up pretty much all my thoughts there. There have been some great ‘novelty’ Eurovision acts – but where they found refuge in outrageousness, this just doesn’t go far enough. It’s a mediocre song, and a mediocre performance. Giant rabbits, it’s safe to say, can’t hold a candle to Lordi.

Tim: It could be said. But dammit, I like it. Yes, it confirms the ideas of people who think Eurovision’s not worth bothering with, and yes, if it was brought out as a summer dance track I’d probably buy it on CD just so I could vomit on it. But there’s something about the way it all goes together that I can’t help smiling.

Tom: Speak for yourself.