Bruno Mars – That’s What I Like (Alan Walker Remix)

“Bruno Mars just deciding to freestyle over the quiet bits of an otherwise-OK Alan Walker track.”

Tom: So we’re pretty much agreed that Bruno Mars, while incredibly talented, has recently been making songs with irritating lyrics and kitsch retro-sound. And Alan Walker, while incredibly talented, has basically been making the same song.

Tim: Can’t disagree with either of those, particular with this song’s, for example, “Take a look in that mirror, now tell me who’s the fairest.”

Tom: Together, they are…

Tom: …not together at all?

Tim: No, but I quite like that in this case.

Tom: I say that because this sounds like two separate songs that happen to be played at the same time. Or, rather, Bruno Mars just deciding to freestyle over the quiet bits of an otherwise-OK Alan Walker track.

Tim: Yes, and I’ll tell you why I like it: however terrible the Bruno Mars bits are (or rather, I’ll concede, however irritating I find them), there’s the knowledge that Alan (seriously, still no stage name?) will come along soon to make it better.

Tom: It’s always a risk with remixes, I guess, but still: perhaps at least one of them should have adjusted their style a little?

Tim: Perhaps, as long as the one to do that is Bruno.

Hurts – Beautiful Ones

“Be who you are, and be that with confidence.“

Tim: New one off Hurts for you; apparently it’s not off an album, but is just a one-off project. There’s a good chance you’ll need to play it twice, as if you’re anything like me you’ll be to entranced by the video to pay attention to the music.

Tim: And what a brilliant video that is. Yes, it starts with bloody violence and Theo being beaten up, but as it progresses backwards we work towards a happier time, a time instead of joy, where we can see that yes, in fact, we are the beautiful ones. All of us, we can celebrate who we are. As the lyrics say, one day this will fade. But until then? Be who you are, and be that with confidence.

Tom: Which is an admirable message for a song, but I’m not convinced as much by the video: reverse narrative’s been done many times before, and it’s been 15 years since Chris Martin actually lip-synced backwards. Still, yes, points for effort.

Tim: Well, whatever you think of the video if it comes with a side helping of a fantastic backing track then that’s all the better really.

Tom: So as you suggested, I listened again without the video — and I think it’s got a brilliant first verse, which is let down slightly by the rest of the song. There’s nothing actually wrong with it, I just feel it’s not a “Wonderful Life”. Hurts tracks have a high bar to clear — this nearly manages it for me, but not quite.

Saturday Reject: Ida Una – One

“What a load of sanctimonious, holier than thou, deluded guff.”

Tim: Few better ways to succeed than to sing about how there shouldn’t be fighting and worldwide peace would be wonderful – or at least that’s what Ida thought, and it’s what got her through to the final round of Denmark’s contest.

Tim: The world can be great! We can save humanity! The planet will heal! We just have to learn to love ag– oh, do shut up. What a load of sanctimonious, holier than thou, deluded guff this is. And yet, of course, it’s deluded guff that wins votes, getting a good quarter of the votes in the final round of three.

Tom: “Peace, peace, love, love, and a man in a hamster wheel”? At the point where even Eurovision’s made fun of it, though, perhaps the trope is getting a bit too tired. Sometimes, new and exciting can win at Eurovision; sometimes, old and traditional can win. This manages to be neither. It’s… not bad, I guess?

Tim: I suppose it helps that it’s also a fairly good song with a chorus that gets stuck in your head, competently sung and with a nice floaty globe to start off with. Oh, I guess it’s okay.

Paramore – Hard Times

“I guess the 90s are back in style properly now.”

Tim: Paramore, the primary purveyors of female-fronted mainstream rock. Right?

Tom: Great guitar work, catchy hooks, verging on the anthemic at times. Right.

Tim: Wrong. That’s new, and oh, I’m not sure it works all that well.

Tom: I guess the 90s are back in style properly now. And they’ve gone all… funk-ish, I guess? I do like it, it’s just not what I expected from Paramore. I think there’s a glockenspiel in there somewhere.

Tim: I would absolutely love to know the thought process behind this, because I have absolutely no idea what they were going for. A one-off experiment? A full directional shift? A bit of “hey, let’s freak people out”? The thing is, unless it was that last one, I’m not sure it works.

It’s alright as a track, I guess, and after a few listens it’s a bit catchy, but that middle eight for starters is just a bit bizarre really.

Tom: Ah, but that outro actually made me grin: it was unexpected, but also really good. Yes, it took me a listen or two to get it, but I really enjoyed this. It’s a rarity here, Tim, to find a song that I immediately like while you don’t.

Tim: I’m all for experimentation, I guess, so I won’t criticise this too harshly, but I do hope this is a singular experiment. Really, I do.

Darin – Ja Må Du Leva

“Guitar strummy”

Tom: He’s still going!

Tim: Oh, very much so. He’s had a rocky journey, as far as we’re concerned – his song Lovekiller was brilliant, still one of my favourite tracks ever, and in fact the inspiration for this site; since then he’s had a few good tracks, but also a few dull albeit pleasant Ed Sheeran-style ballads. This one? Well.

Tim: It’s halfway between the two really, isn’t it? Guitar strummy in the verses, and yes I suppose in the choruses as well, but blimey if it doesn’t pick it up a bit in those.

Tom: It fails the “don’t bore us, get to the chorus” test, by boring me half way through the first verse — but after that, everything’s pretty much great. Cheery, friendly, and a beautiful pre-chorus. I’ll even forgive the Olly Murs-esque hat.

Tim: The title, repeated many times each chorus, for a total of twenty occurrences, translates to “Yes, you must live!” (with the lyric adding a ‘today’ on the end), and oh, that songs conveys that nicely, as does the video. I hear it, and I am happy, I am energised, I am excited. And that’ll do me nicely on a grey Thursday, I think.

Cazzi Opeia & Jin X Jin – Batman & Robin

“This isn’t a track I really want to mount a defence of.”

Tim: Currently, if I hear someone saying “I had a dream”, my brain goes straight for Kygo & Selena Gomez, which is still a proper tune and a half. That may change, though, as I present the most surreal song/video I’ve come across in a quite a while.

Tom: “Swedish/Korean duo”. Well, that… that is, like most of this song, not something I’ve heard before.

Tim: I’ll be honest: I’ve no idea. I will say that a dream about being double teamed by Bruno Mars and Nicki Minaj sounds vastly more interesting and exciting than one about sipping whiskey to get over a breakup, so we’re certainly one better than Selena here for subconscious creativity.

Tom: Well, that’s true, but on the other hand that repeated “banana, banana, banana” refrain is perhaps the most irritating lyric that I’ve heard in a long while. Sure, I can remember it now, but I don’t want to.

Tim: That, yeah I could agree with.

Tom: There are good bits in here. Honestly, there are. And I’ve defended this sort of bubblegum pop before. But this isn’t a track I really want to mount a defence of, regardless of how surreal its video might be.

Tim: Fair.

Otto Knows – With You

“Is it rude to describe that as a bit of a mess?”

Tim: Despite having had a number of fairly successful tracks since 2012, Otto will most likely always be known as “the guy who did that eh-eh-eh-eh-eh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh song”, which is a bit of a shame.

Tom: But entirely accurate.

Tim: On the other hand, he’s clearly not letting that hold him back, as this new one shows.

Tim: Is it rude to describe that as a bit of a mess? For a good thirty seconds or so, I was considering the possibility that the YouTube uploader had stuck a few extra sounds on there to get it past the copyright system, as it just seems rather chaotic.

Tom: I’m not sure about “a mess”, but it certainly takes a while to get where it’s going — and when it gets there, I’m not sure I want to be there with it.

Tim: There’s good stuff there, sure – love that guitar, for starters – and in fact I’ve no problem with any of the individual components. It’s just…well, to be honest I blame Avicii: he decided it’d be fun to stick some country strumming on a dance track, and now every DJ and his dad is happily chucking accordions and all sorts all over the place, however misguided.

Tom: I’m particularly unsure about that fast one-two, one-two in the background. It’s almost a polka beat, I think? And “singing Losing My Religion like we used to do” isn’t nearly as clever a line as the writer hoped.

Tim: It’s nice, and I’d dance to it – I just can’t help feeling it could be better if it were a bit more streamlined.

September – Give Me A Smile

“Just so damn chirpy.”

Tim: We’ve wondered occasionally if we’re running out of music, and decided probably not; we are, on the other hand, definitely running out of artist names, as this is entirely not the September we know.

Tom: That does baffle me: sure, it’s also a month of the year, it’s not the least obvious name you could pick… but would you not Google it?

Tim: Apparently not. They’re a duo from Iceland, this is their second single, and I can’t find a proper video online, but here’s a radio interview with it, starts at 3:57.

Tim: Quick disclaimer: I can find absolutely nothing online about this except for that interview, which is dated over two years ago; on the other hand, Apple Music says it was released a few weeks ago so we’ll have it and assume it got a re-release or something. JOURNALISM.

Tom: And I listened to this via streaming, so heard it in significantly better quality than that radio interview — although not massively better, because it turns out the track’s not mixed spectacularly well. The vocals seem to be hidden behind the instruments; it’s less Wall of Sound and more Incoherent Pile of Bricks of Sound.

Tim: That’s slightly true. But there’s one main reason I’m keen to feature it: it’s lovely.

Tom: You’re not wrong there. A week or two ago, I described something as “a bit Lighthouse Family”. And sure, that’s a backhanded compliment, but this would fit in neatly on the Radio 2 playlist. Actually, I guess that’s a backhanded compliment too.

Tim: My only issue is that at four minutes long it definitely goes on a bit – that backing chorus coming in should really be an indicator of a final chorus, or at most a penultimate one – but the rest of it is lovely. Just so damn chirpy, and while that might not work for everyone, it sure as hell works for me. Just, maybe cut down on the instrumental bits, yeah? Good.

Saturday Reject: In Fusion – Nothing Ever Knocked Us Over

“RAVE ON!”

Tim: Another one from Norway, another one that got knocked out in the first round, but for entirely different reasons. RAVE ON!

Tom: I’ll admit to being surprised by that sudden RAVE. And by the bold hair choice from the middle singer, there. Who are they all?

Tim: From what I can find out (or rather, from the total lack of anything about them to be found), it seems as though In Fusion are a group made specifically for this, which would go some way to explain the slightly iffy vocals here and there, which is both a shame and a relief, really.

Tom: To be fair, the harmonies aren’t all that bad. Why do you say it’s a shame?

Tim: Because it’s a good song, and deserves better than being mauled on stage by a group whose personal looks are entirely at odds with everything else that’s going on – would it kill you to smile as you sing one of the most upbeat songs to grace the stage that evening?

Tom: That’s what seemed wrong! Part of that’s because there’s only so much you can do while holding a smoke flare in one hand and a microphone in the other, but yes. Why a relief?

Tim: Because as with all non-Loreen EDM, this would tank miserably if it did get through – looking at you, almost last Cascada and dead last Ryan Dolan.

Tom: That’s fair. As someone who generally likes EDM, I think that’s the real shame here. Well, that and the complete missed opportunity for a key change. I’d be happy with more songs like this in Eurovision.

Tim: I’ll take the studio version, though – many, many times over, because that’s just lovely. Though you’re right – that would have made a golden key change.

Robin feat. Nelli Matula – Hula Hula

“Something about flowers.”

Tim: Robin, you may or may not remember, first appeared on these pages about five years ago as a pre-pubescent teen singing about skateboarding.

Tom: Weirdly, I do actually remember that. I don’t remember the song, but I do remember complaining about how young he was.

Tim: Well, he’s grown up a bit since then, and is rapidly approaching album number four; still all about the extra-curricular activities, though.

Tom: Sounds like a Balearic ballad, but sung in Finnish. That takes a verse or two to get used to.

Tim: Yes, and what with it being Finnish, Google isn’t much help with the lyrics (one line apparently means “Jo comes further thaw melts”), but it’s basically all about dancing, with hips moving all over the place, the sun shining down, and something about flowers.

Tom: That’s better than the Macarena, at least.

Tim: To be honest, the song gets at least two of those three things across nicely, and the third’s probably not too important anyway.

Tom: It’s forgettable, and I don’t think it’s about to be the sound of the summer, but I’ve been wrong before.

Tim: I don’t think you’re wrong here, to be honest, but it’s a nice track, and most importantly it’s one of the few summer tracks around that isn’t stuck in a tropical genre, which somehow is still going on. Oh, joy…