Laura Voutilainen – Mä En Kestä

“It’s all a bit of a mash of genres, isn’t it?”

Tim: Remember Stereo Love?

Tom: As ever, no.

Tim: Yes, you do. No-one can ever truly forget Stereo Love.

Tom: [listens] I remember one very specific part of Stereo Love.

Tim: Good, because so does Laura, and she wants to bring it back.

Tom: Oh, hey, it’s an accordion sample! That’s not at all tired by now.

Tim: Cynicism aside, though, I actually really like this. Yes, there’s the style rip-off (though after eight years I suppose we could be getting into homage territory), but there’s also that chorus, which really took me by surprise when it first came along, sounding like it does as though it’s been shipped in from another genre.

Tom: For just a bit of it, yes: and I’d like to say a few words in favour of that pre-chorus, too, which almost makes up for the exhausted-sounding middle eight. It’s all a bit of a mash of genres, isn’t it?

Tim: It is, and I just wasn’t expecting it – as I saw it, we’d have the accordion providing the whole chorus, and so to hear that wonderfully schlageresque sound come in was an utter delight, and brought a massive smile to my face. I’m not sure it entirely works – like I said, it’s from a completely different genre – but I’ll take it while it’s there.

The Sound of Arrows – Beautiful Life

“This is so much of what I wanted.”

Tim: It has been SIX YEARS in the making, but we now have new music from the triumph of a band that is The Sound of Arrows.

Tim: Now I don’t know if this is just because I’m so happy that a new track has come along, but oh this is so, well, beautiful.

Tom: And here I am just wanting to sing “Dancing Queen” over the chorus.

Tim: Those strings! The swooshing around in the background! The piano intro that exists in the full length version that’s on your streaming services! The gentle vocal! The fabulous simple message of the whole thing!

Tom: Yes, I thought you might be enthusiastic. It’s… it’s a bit Lighthouse Family, though, isn’t it?

Tim: Oh, please, no. I’m fairly sure I am definitely getting slightly overexcited here, but it’s been such a long wait, and this is so much of what I wanted.

Tom: I’ll admit I love string sections, and yes – there’s nothing particularly wrong with it. It’s not something I’d get excited about, but then, The Sound of Arrows never really were for me. For the fans, though?

Tim: Fingers very much crossed for an album, or at least another track that’s less than six years away.

Saturday Reject: Bella & Filippa – Crucified

“Competing against an old man with a mouth organ.”

Tim: Back to the unembeddable heats now, and Tom, since you’ve never watched a Melodifestivalen heat, let me tell you how the results work: start with seven, and after the first round of voting, two get knocked out, and voting then recommences. After that, one finalist is announced, then the two going though Andra Chansen, and lastly the second finalist, with the remaining one thus being in fifth place. Often, that last result is obvious, and I figured that was true more than ever in heat 3, because this was competing against an old man with a mouth organ.

Tom: Heh. Mouth organ.

Tim: Yes, very good, well done. Here’s the song.

Tim: Now, much like Etzia and her roller skates, I’m not arguing this should have been a winner, or even necessarily gone straight to the final – it was a very, very strong heat.

Tom: And this, while it’s not a bad song, is only a so-so Eurovision entrant. It’s uncomfortably close to Texas Lightning.

Tim: Except, the only dodgy song – the weakest, weirdest, most novelty song – came in the top two. And this came in fifth. It’s MADNESS.

Tom: Never underestimate the power of the novelty vote, Tim.

Tim: True, but straight to the final? Damn, that’s not right.

Nano – Hold On

“Take Me To Church, reworked for Melodifestivalen.”

Tim: There’s an ASTONISHINGLY good new Sound of Arrows track out today, but we’ll get to that on Monday as we’ve one more from the Melodifestivalen final. First with the Swedes, second overall, and, well, it’s quite the track.

Tim: It took me a while to realise what it was that got me going so much about this – not in the jump around banging sense of getting me going, but in the powerful and heavy sense. It’s that it’s basically…

Tom: Take Me To Church with drum and bass?

Tim: You know, I was all set for a “cannot believe you’re comparing those two” for this, but yes: it’s Take Me To Church, reworked and remixed for Melodifestivalen. You’ve got your strong, but not overstated, male vocal under a comparatively quiet backing in the verses, turning everything up several notches for the chorus, and then – and here’s where the Melodifestivalen bit comes in – an enormous instrumental section where everything goes nuts but doesn’t lose any of the depth.

Tom: And the thing is, it works. It really works.

Tim: Flashing lights, drums and beats everywhere, but you’ve still got your minor key and flowing from one note to the next rather than jumping all over the place.

Tom: And then for the second verse, there’s still a bit more drumbeat in there. This is exactly how you handle a change like that.

Tim: There’s a couple of things I’d change about the performance – it might seem more meaningful if he didn’t look like he’d just walked in off the street after a day drinking in his nearest Wetherspoon’s, and he should really leave the dancing to the actual dancers – but I can’t fault the song. At all.

Wiktoria – As I Lay Me Down

“Occasionally I have a problem with Melodifestivalen…”

Tim: Fourth in this week’s series of “songs Tim thought were considerably better than Robin Bengtsson”, the entry from your favourite last year. This time, the Swedish voters agreed with me, with it coming second to his third (voting was very close this year – lowest ranked got six percent, highest got less than twelve – so the juries held a lot of sway).

Tim: And we keep a small amount of the country stylings, but immediately get off to a much bigger start, with it very quickly approaching banger status.

Tom: It’s not bad, is it? I think it’s my favourite of the ones you’ve sent so far, for the same reasons as last year. Also, full marks to her for being able to manage not just the big shouty bits, but also a whistle-register note — all in the middle of a high-pressure live show.

That bed should absolutely have lifted up off the ground for the final chorus, though. Staging opportunity missed.

Tim: Oh, good call. But here’s the thing: occasionally (but only very occasionally) I have a problem with Melodifestivalen, and it’s exemplified by this. Basically: all the good songs are out at once. As I write this, 16 of the Swedish Spotify top 20 are from there (four of the rest are from one artist, you can guess who), and although that’s a sign of a strong competition, it does get me a little annoyed that the rest of the year suffers slightly as a result. Towards the end of each year, if an artist has an amazing song, why release it then rather than submit it for Melodifestivalen, when they may do much better as a result with all the publicity?

Tom: When it’s being played potentially three times (heat, Andra Chansen, final) in front of an engaged TV audience who are actively interested in the music? It’s a strong argument.

Tim: On the other hand, it’s only very occasionally I think like that. Most of the time, it’s a period to look forward to. Sure, they’re all out in one six week period, but boy, what a six week period.

FO&O – Gotta Thing About You

A golden opportunity for a key change.

Tim: Here’s the thing about boybands and Eurovision: however good the songs might be, and however much of a reaction they might get from the live crowds, they tank. Last year, Joe and Jake came third from bottom, while Denmark’s Lighthouse X didn’t even qualify for the final. Fortunately, Sweden realised this when they binned off this otherwise really quite good one, from the band previously known as The Fooo and also as The Fooo Conspiracy (one of the Os left).

Tom: It’s rare that a boy band change their name more often than their lineup.

Tom: Okay, let’s get two things out of the way: “every time you bake I wanna eat cake” is an appalling first line…

Tim: True.

Tom: …and in general usage “gotta” is short for “got to”, not “got a”.

Tim: Picky, but also true.

Tom: ANYWAY.

Tim: ANYWAY. We’ve had songs before that halve their BPM for the chorus, most notably Norway’s Eurovision entry last year, which didn’t make the final, and while this doesn’t do that it does kind of give the impression of it, going from a fast moving and heavy beating verse to an almost euphoric chorus. Unlike previously I really really love that: it creates all the impression of variety, but none of the actual disjoint that it would otherwise provide. And it sounds great as well.

Tom: Ugh, really? I don’t hear it: it all melds into one forgettable boy band number. It’s not even a One Direction album track, it’s one that ends up being passed down to… oh. Yeah, it’s one that ends up being passed down to FO&O.

Tim: There are drawbacks: the blonde one really needs to lose the Chesney Hawkes hair…

Tom: I was thinking Mac from Green Wing, but sure.

Tim: …the choreography should be a lot more polished, and while key changes are a bit passé they’ve missed a golden opportunity for one there. So all in all, Sweden: good decision, but it’s a shame you had to make it.

Jon Henrik Fjällgren feat. Aninia – En värld full av strider (Eatneme gusnie jeenh dåaroeh)

Pretentious bellend?

Tom: Is this Melodifestivalen Reject Week, then? Not complaining, just figured I’d set context.

Tim: Well, we’ve done it for the past couple of years, as the final’s always a highlight. Speaking of finals, highlights and years gone by, you’ll remember Jon Henrik from his entry two years ago; you said it’s “the soundtrack to sweeping panoramas of the natural world, but it’s not going to work in Vienna.” This year, he came back with his signature joik, which got him fourth with the juries, fourth with the voters, and third overall. Isn’t split voting fun?

Tom: I had to search for what a “joik” was.

Tim: Well, it’s this sort of thing:

Tim: You know, part of me would love to see this in Kyiv, just to find out what the reaction would be. He’s said he thinks he’d do well because many Europeans have a deep love for native or folk music, and I’d like to know if that’s true. Would they think, “ooh, I see what they’re doing, and it’s a good track to boot”, or would it be “oh, bollocks to this, I’m going to the loo, though save me a drink for that key change”?

Tom: I can’t quite work it out, but I think there might actually be three key changes in here: there’s a subtle one after the first verse, and half way through the final chorus. I’m not enough of a musician to know if those are technically some other musical term though.

Tim: Ooh, they are very slight, but you could be right. Given Ukraine’s victory last year I’m leaning towards the former option, and it’d be lovely if that did (though you might have to throw in an “arsehole” or two to guarantee it).

Tom: Ah, I was thinking the latter there: you start a Eurovision song with a deep, meaningful talking part and I reckon a lot of the audience will immediately dismiss you as a pretentious bellend.

Tim: That is a possibility, I guess, though I’m very much with the first group because it is a good song. It’s not quite as good, for me, as Jag Är Fri – I don’t want to say “he’s sold out”, but it’s a bit poppier than his previous, and I think that lets it down a tad.

Tom: Whereas I’d phrase that as “made it more accessible”. It’s certainly not a Eurovision winner — but then, I’d have said that about Ukraine’s entry last year, so who knows?

Tim: Well, I still like it, and I can see why it did well. I’d just like it to have done really well, for entirely selfish reasons.

Lisa Ajax – I Don’t Give A

“This TRIUMPH of a song came LAST”

Tim: Now I know we normally do rejects on a Saturday, but we’re having this today because (a) Sweden’s special and (b) this so does not deserve to be classed as a reject and (c) WHAT A BLOODY SHAMBLES. Oh, and it’s got rude words.

Tom: Well, that’s certainly bold.

Tim: Now we’ll get to the lyrics in a minute, but I’ve just finished watching the Melodifestivalen final, and this TRIUMPH of a song came LAST in the public vote, getting SIX PER CENT. WHAT THE ACTUAL. HOW. Honestly, I lost enough respect for the British people when they voted for our entry, but I’m almost tempted to give up on Sweden as well.

Tom: Mm. A bit of an overreaction there, perhaps; there are plenty of reasons why they might have abandoned it.

Tim: Alright, then, some rational thoughts: first, maybe it wasn’t the best call to have, as the sole staging element, a massive shot of her face. And maybe it wasn’t the best call to have the least family-friendly lyrics that Melodifestivalen has ever seen – I’m sure you’re aware that Eurovision rule 1.2.2(h) states that lyrics may not bring Eurovision ‘into disrepute’, but you know what? I DON’T GIVE A.

Tom: That staging is… well, it comes across as narcissistic even if it was someone else’s idea.

Tim: Sweden’s winner, the above average I Can’t Go On, contains the line “when you look this freaking beautiful”, and when it was performed in the first heat that word was not “freaking”. Words can be rewritten.

Tom: But to what? The song lyrics wouldn’t work any other way, that’s true, but there’s no way it’d actually be allowed at Eurovision. Replacing it with a gasp is the best alternative I can think of, and that’s still not right.

Tim: Fair, though actually apparently a version was done that was played to the international juries – the main line was “I don’t give a damn”, though I’m not sure what the other could have been.

And aside from those two things: I don’t get it. The melody is great. She has a fantastic voice, demonstrated throughout. Most importantly: it’s fun. It’s a fantastic piece of pure unadulterated pop music, rather than some slightly generic three minute dance-pop track.

Tom: I don’t hear it: yes, it’s pure pop music, but other than the shock value of the lyrics it comes across as pretty generic to me.

Tim: RUDE. This is genuinely one of my favourite tracks of the year, and it got fewer votes than the old guy with the harmonica. Shameful. And incidentally, “gilipollas” in the tweet at the top? Twitter translates it as “idiots”; Google instead goes for “douchebags”, vastly more appropriate.)

Saturday Reject: Etzia – Up

“Huh. That’s strange.”

Tim: Oh, this had so much potential. Knocked out in the first round of Melodifestivalen, yet rejected, I can only imagine, for something utterly bizarre. Once again, just a link:

Etzia – Up

Tom: Not again! Just like last week, Tim; this is retro, and I don’t mean that in a Stranger Things way, I mean it in a… well, in a roller disco way, given that staging.

Tim: Oh it is, yes, and I don’t for a moment claim this is a modern track, or even at all should be a winner. The reason I mention it, though, is that there are a couple of notes in there that, when I was watching, sounded decidedly flat. I thought “oh, balls, she’s messed that up, but let’s hope she’s forgiven”. But then I checked the studio version, and she performed them flawlessly – they’re just written that way, and it sounds so weird.

Tom: Huh. That’s strange — although to be honest, the whole thing sounds weird, Tim. It’s not unpleasant, of course, and it’s not even mediocre — it’s a good track, it’s just unsuited for the audience.

Tim: Of course, there may be other reasons – the key change, however great, may have put voters off, or they may genuinely have preferred the novelty old man act (which will never grace these pages) that came above it. But still, it’s a bizarre choice to make for that melody.

Steps – Scared Of The Dark

“They’re BACK.”

Tim: Item ONE: Steps were originally conceived just to be a one-hit wonder act, because the writers of 5, 6, 7, 8 wanted to get it released. Item TWO: that plan changed somewhat. Item THREE: twenty years later, here’s THIS because they’re BACK.

Tim: GOD, that’s good.

Tom: You’re not wrong. Comeback hits aren’t meant to be this good, surely?

Tim: That’s “listen to it several times to appreciate all of it” good. Right from the start, the string line there is signifying that while you don’t know what it is, something damn good is coming along soon. And, in due course, it sure as hell does: that chorus could be a lead single from Alcazar at their very, very highest, and boy is that a compliment I can’t imagine paying to many other acts. Throw in that delightful key change, and you’ve got a perfectly-packaged piece of disco.

Tom: It is, as well, that percussion could have come straight out of a Donna Summer track. In fact, this is a combination of decades of pop music. There’s even occasional 80s white-noise-sweeps in there. It’s not quite orchestral, but those strings make it feel… well, more grown-up, perhaps?

Tim: Here is what I love most about it: this is Steps. Actual, full-on, Steps. No compromises, no modern synth beats trying to be current, but just plain, unapologetic “this is what we do, and we love it”. Six weeks until the album and I CAN’T WAIT.