Olly Murs – You Don’t Know Love

“I mean what a track.”

Tim: I’d like to put forth a hypothesis: the quality of Olly’s music is indirectly proportional to the amount of hats he is seen wearing. Earlier tracks, where headwear was in full swing, on occasion left a lot to be desired. Here, on the other hand, there’s a not a trilby in sight and, well.

Tim: I mean what a track.

Tom: That percussion at the start really confused me, and I’ve no idea why: is it slightly offbeat? Overly syncopated? I’ve no idea, but once I got used to it, I quite liked it.

Tim: Making him present X Factor was just cruel to more or less the whole world – he recently said he didn’t enjoy doing it, and the reaction to that from most people was “yeah, but at least you didn’t have to watch it”. This song, though, is so much better for everyone involved, with great melody, passionate vocals, great chorus and a decent dance-pop mix.

Tom: It’s almost a bit Radio 2, isn’t it? It’s certainly on that borderline where your mum might say “Oh, I quite like that when it was on the radio”. It’s certainly aiming more for “playing on every commercial radio station” rather than “played in the clubs”, and if you judge it on that then I guess it’s pretty successful.

Tim: I wouldn’t go that for – I certainly think Radio 2 would have an issue with that distorted vocal thing going on in the intro and background that, six months on, I’ve only just managed to get onboard with. Basically, Olly, please in the future don’t make any more catastrophic errors of judgement.

Tom: I think that’s generally life advice for everyone, Tim.

Madilyn Bailey – Wiser

“I am severely JUDGING the guy at 2:42”

Tom: This is a really confusing and distracting video, so I recommend putting it in the background.

Tim: I don’t know, I don’t mind that video. Though I am severely JUDGING the guy at 2:42 looking at the screen not the camera, that’s textbook stuff mate.

Tom: This was sent in by our anonymous reader, who says: “It really isn’t that bad for a singer who made fame from YouTube.” And that’s not inaccurate: that’s a pretty good chorus. And as breakup songs go, this is a pretty good message for one to have.

Tim: It is indeed very good – don’t really want to say surprising, but I’d at least like to know who the writers are.

Tom: I will admit to snickering a little at “thank you for making it harder”, though.

Tim: Mature as ever, well done Tom.

Saturday Flashback: Chicane – Poppiholla

“No!”

Tom: No!

Tim: YES.

Tom: No. No, no, no.

Tim: Okay, I know, but last week made me think back to this, what with it being a redoing released around the same time. Now, we are all aware of how, well, don’t want to say perfect, but let’s go with iconic, a tune Sigur Rós’s Hoppípolla is (though incidentally, never charted anywhere except the UK, where it only reached number 24).

Tom: Good. I’m glad we’ve established that.

Tim: So what on Earth is a respectable dance act like Chicane of Saltwater and Don’t Give Up fame doing by redoing it?

Tim: Well, aside from doing far better in the charts than the original ever did, and providing a popular launch track for a new Best Of album: basically re-genre-ising it, though that’s probably not an actual phrase. The original was a tad surreal and ethereal – a lovely track, but one used (very well, I should add) on nature documentaries instead of a dancefloor. This, on the other hand – well, it’ll go down well in the clubs because “OH IT’S THAT AMAZING SONG,” and now it has a big beat to it and is very very danceable.

Tom: Hmm. You’re right, of course, and given how much both of us like Almighty Records, I can’t really complain about something like this. It still seems a bit… wrong, though.

Tim: True. But really, it’s obvious. Cheap? Probably. Successful? Oh yes.

Anna Abreu – Räjäytä Mun Mieli

“It just falls into that giant valley of ‘meh’”

Tim: BLOW MY MIND, says Anna in Finnish, and it’s…interesting.

Tim: You see there are bits in there I like, and other bits that I’m really not. That distorted accordion-ish instrumental second half of the chorus in particular really doesn’t do it for me; on the other hand the first half before it is exactly what I want to hear, and the verses are very serviceable, as far as standard pop verses go in this line of music.

Tom: Blimey, Tim, that’s a hell of a run-on sentence there.

Tim: It is, now I read it back. Sorry about that.

Tom: Yes, the accordion thing is disappointing — and sadly, so is the rest of the chorus for me. There’s nothing specifically wrong with it, it just falls into that giant valley of “meh” that alas contains far too much pop music.

Tim: Maybe, though I think it’s just that at the moment I don’t really know what to think – if it was in English I’d probably make up my mind by judging the lyrics; as it is, we don’t even have a video to judge narrative structure and the like. For the time being, then, I’m going to have to stand firmly on the fence, until we receive MORE.

The Main Level – A Million More

“Oh, do shit off”

Tim: I’m feeling decidedly pleh at the moment, and so when I pressed play on this video and immediately saw one of them strumming a ukulele my reaction was basically “oh, do shit off”.

Tom: Funnily enough, that was my response to the “you-u-u-u” crooning in the introduction as well.

Tim: Then I remembered that despite my loathing ukuleles do frequently make me feel a bit happier, so…

Tim: Yep. I’m fairly sure I make the same point every time we feature a track with the most rubbish instrument ever to have existed so I won’t wang on about it today, but dammit that, along with the (AAAAARGH HATE IT) whistling, has cheered me up a fair notch.

Tom: I just couldn’t get over that crooning. It sounds like it’s been written by a five-year-old, and sadly unlike your ukulele hating, I can’t overcome it by just being chirpy about it.

Tim: It is a horribly chirpy lovey-dovey sickeningly sweet song; it knows exactly what it wants to do, and pulls it off precisely as it intends to. I hate it and I like it, in roughly equal measures, and while the first of those two thoughts probably isn’t what anyone was wanting, the second: oh, whatever.

Clean Bandit feat. Louisa Johnson – Tears

“I could see all that doing very well at Eurovision… But then it segues.”

Tom: Our reader, Laura, sends this in, saying that “the build really pays off”.

Tom: She’s not wrong. That build, and the first part of the chorus (“tears on the ground”) are absolutely wonderful, at least in terms of the sort of European pop we talk about.

Tim: Yeah – surprisingly so, really, as it’s not often we hear so-called ‘credible’ artists with songs like that.

Tom: In fact, I could see all that doing very well at Eurovision, and that’s not just because of the flaming instruments. But then it segues — not particularly well — into a drum-and-bass-y section that seems completely out of place. It doesn’t fit the rest, it kills all the energy.

Tim: And there I very much agree with you – we’re back to the ‘credible’ bit (and I hate that word and everything that accompanies it, but that’s a discussion for another day), and it’s nowhere near as much fun.

Tom: Lose those sections, bring back that beautiful first part of the chorus for one last, MASSIVE reprise and you’d have a brilliant track. As it is: not quite.

Polarsea – Don’t Let Me Go

“I don’t want to get all Mary Whitehouse here.”

Tim: Strong language ahead from this new Swede, but I hope you’ll agree it’s worth it.

Tom: I’m not sure it is. Why?

Tim: Well, I think it’s just great. Underlying melody, on point vocals and a decent beat underlying it (though I dread to think how many times I’ve written those four words about a song here).

Tom: All that’s true: although like many songs we talk about, it struggles to soar above the wastelands of “decent” and reach the… something… of “memorable”. Look, I’m tired, I’m not good at metaphors, OK?

Tim: I do find it weird when any standard pop song like this does throw in swearing, though – generally it’s happy and in an upbeat style, but then you’re brought right out of it with a “woah, where did that come from?”

Tom: Exactly! That’s why I don’t think it’s worth it.

Tim: Hmm – I don’t think it anywhere nears ruins it or anything, but I will say that while I don’t want to get all Mary Whitehouse here, would “I’m a goddamn ghost” be so bad? Other than that, though: top marks.

William Ekh & Martell – Diamonds

“How about we start our week with some nice banging EDM?”

Tim: So, how about we start our week with some nice banging EDM?

Tom: Tim, you could have not written a worse introduction for me. It’s Monday. I’m exhausted. I’ve got a headache. The last thing I need is…

Tom: Ah, hell, turns out I like it.

Tim: Me too – it sounds great, although I do, oddly, find it a tad hard to take seriously – I know that’s a weird thing to say, and also I don’t know why that is (or at least I didn’t when I was writing that until that 8-bit style ending arrived just now).

Tom: Aww, see I really loved that. Heartwarming.

Tim: It’s nice, yeah, and it rounds off a perfectly decent dance tune, with a more than good enough melody (though I’m not keen on how that line seems to have a seizure on the volume dial).

Tom: Agreed: because everything has to be a wall of sound, it’s overcompressed, and that percussion makes everything else go silent. That’s the only bit of this that makes my headache worse, and it’s a shame, because it’s spoiling what is a really lovely, simple, catchy tune.

Tim: I think the issue, stupid as it may seem, is that everybody was having too much fun with it when making it. The aforementioned volume thing, that closing bit, how you can almost hear a massive smile on Martell’s face while she’s singing and clapping in the middle eight – it’s as though it was thrown together at the end of a party when everyone’s going “YEAH WOOHOO!!!!” That’s not always a bad thing – but it might be worth checking in on in the morning.

Saturday Flashback: Guru Josh – Infinity (1990’s… Time for the Guru)

“Let’s talk about the original.”

Tim: Thursday’s song, Rainbow Sky, reminded me of this because it was by an act called Infinity. Well, more accurately it reminded me of 2008’s reworking by The Guru Josh Project, which stands out today as one of the best reworkings of recent times; nevertheless, let’s talk about the original.

Tom: Do we have to talk about the original? Because, well, it’s not quite as good. And, it makes that wierd, staccato duh-duh double note in the sax theme much more obvious. And… and…

Tim: And it’s…well, it’s a bit all over the place, really, isn’t it? There’s the immediately identifiable saxophone bit (which incidentally a friend at the time pointed out led rather well into the This Morning theme tune), but there’s also the almost a capello vocal section, the bass bit where nothing much is happening, the occasional vocal on top of that, the synthy keyboard section, and then the bit after that from 2:25 where it goes all over the place.

Tom: Too much. Just too much. But then, it was the 90s.

Tim: I’ll be honest: the lot that had a go in 2008, including Guru Josh himself and a few other folk, did a much better job focussing on that sax theme and a less self-important vocal. In fact, let’s play it again.

Tim: See? Better.

MØ – Final Song

“COCONUTS OUT PEOPLE”

Tom: Danish, if you’re wondering.

Tim: Yes! And YES to a bit of tropical house at the end of the week. COCONUTS OUT PEOPLE.

Tom: Made a couple of “featured” appearances in the char– BLOODY HELL. Sorry, just as I was typing that introduction, the beat kicked in.

Tom: See, I was going to complain about that verse being too damn calm, but if it wasn’t, I bet I wouldn’t have gotten the effect from that percussion. That is aggressive percussion.

Tim: It really is, but to be honest I wasn’t even having a problem with the verses – not great for a dance banger, sure, not not out of place on e.g. a nice tropical house calm point.

Tom: I mean, it’s perhaps a bit too Kygo in places, but I really enjoy it. It just goes for it, and it doesn’t make any apologies.

Tim: Rightly so. Do we know what’s happened to the share prices of e.g. Lilt or Oasis in the past twelve months? They must have shot through the roof.

Tom: By the way, those hovering stunts in the video: I know they’re probably just doing really simple keying and wire removal on them, but there’s something about the speed-ramps and angles that makes that seem really impressive. Is… is that a metaphor for the song?

Tim: Hmm…I’m going to say: no idea. Probably just a bit of fun. That would definitely fit with the song.