Ambition 17 – Fem Steg Från Rätt

“What a fabulous direction.”

Tim: “Five Steps From Right”, apparently, but after a while you won’t care what this Swedish girlband are singing about.

Tim: I mean BLIMEY. I entirely was not expecting that chorus. What a change of direction, and what a fabulous direction.

Tom: If you listen carefully, the build for that chorus starts a full four lines earlier, right at the start of the pre-chorus. Well done.

Tim: They’ve gone full on Swedish House Mafia style with their dance bits, and as in almost all places it just works very very well – the vocals fit very well so they don’t just sound like a featured layer on top of the dance backing.

Tom: Ooh, that’s where I’d disagree: I don’t think the mix is quite right. The vocals are, if anything, a bit too prominent, and not quite in the right style to fit that backing. Or, rather, they are for a few years ago, it’s just that if we had a full-on Modern Big Pop Producer here, there’d be a lot more time spent juggling all the frequencies and instrumentation so it works perfectly.

Tim: You could be right, but then it’s be more a dance track than a pop track, and I’m guessing that’s not where this is meant to be – particularly evident when the middle eight drops back to the level of the first verse. It’s a risky move as it is, and I’m not entirely sure it works completely, but then when the strings come along and the energy jumps back up, well, all is forgiven really.

Tom: I think that’s a problem that could be solved, again, with a slightly different producer: but as we both know, I’m a sucker for a string section, so I love that final part.

Tim: Indeed. A WONDERFUL track.

Ariana Grande – Focus

“It’s plainly awful.”

Tom: This’d be a good song if it actually had a chorus.

Tim: Ah, another Dark Horse, is it?

Tim: Oh, sorry, can we take a sec – just want to order myself a new Samsung Galaxy S6. Back in a sec.

Tom: Let’s get one thing out of the way first: that’s a video that makes me feel a bit creepy watching it. It’s not just your standard ‘pop star dancing’: it’s like the director — who’s a woman, by the way — said “right, let’s make this look as sexualised as possible”.

Tim: Yeah…you’re making it sound like this is a new thing, though.

Tom: Oh, it’s not new at all, it just seems really noticable here, far beyond what you’d normally expect. I realise that fits the theme of the song really well, it’s just… it’s a bit much, is what I’m saying. Full marks for actually giving her stars in her eyes by changing the shape of the ring light, though.

Anyway. The music.

Tim: Or, indeed, the lack of it, because that’s the problem.

Tom: It’s rare that the build to a chorus promises so much, only to get shot down by what then appears. Maybe it didn’t sound so strange on a second listen — but when you’ve got a voice like that, why switch entirely to samples for the chorus?

Tim: I don’t know, it’s plainly awful. To be honest, I’m not sure I agree with your opening sentence, on two counts: first, it does have a chorus, except it’s a bloody awful chorus and I suspect part of you knows that but wants to dismiss it as a post-chorus.

Tom: Ugh, you’re right. It is, technically, a chorus.

Tim: Second: it wouldn’t be good. Well, obviously good is entirely subjective, but nope. Not here, mate.

Tom: I mean, it’ll do well, it’ll get enormous amounts of airplay in the US so people will buy it. But it just doesn’t seem like all that much of a song.

Leona Lewis – Thunder

“She’s still going!”

Tom: She’s still going! I feel like giving a small round of sympathy-applause every time a reality show contestant manages to still be going. And it’s been nine years! And her new single is…

Tom: …an album track. Am I being too harsh there?

The trouble is: this isn’t the first single off that album. It’s the third. No, I didn’t know she had a new album either. And a look at the Wikipedia entry for that first single pretty much sums up the fans’ and PR companies clutching at ratings straws: it missed the Top 40, but hey, it made it to number 26 in the sales-only chart.

Tim: AND it got to number 12 in the Billboard Top Twitter Tracks, and if that’s not impressive I don’t know what is. I do think you’re being a little harsh – admittedly it’s not particularly memorable, as I’ve just finished listening to it and I’m struggling to recall the chorus, but I know I thought at the time that I enjoyed it.

Tom: Don’t get me wrong: it’s a decent enough album track. Her fans will like it, and there’s certainly not much wrong with it.

Tim: No – the problem is it doesn’t get me particularly enthused. It’s the sort of track that makes me think “yeah, I might give the album a listen, as long as I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time”.

Tom: And there are a million pop artists out there who’d love the success she’s had: and she’s still going after nine years. Most folks in her position don’t even get one year.

Heck, if you win The Voice, you don’t even get a week.

Saturday Flashback: Suite 16 – I Don’t Think So

“That’s one they actually nailed!”

Tom: It’s taken me three songs to realise that “Suite 16” is a pun on “Sweet 16”. I have no idea how I failed to notice this. I guess I never said it out loud.

Tim: Well, if it’s any consolation I didn’t get it the first time round. But first up here, an admission of error: on Wednesday I said that Who I Wanna Be was Suite 16’s second single; in fact, this one was, which came out about six months ago and completes the trio of boyband songs: we’ve had the pop-punk and we’ve got the melty ballad coming later, but now the summer pop banger.

Tim: And (along with a lot of the girls in that video, quite probably) that’s one they actually nailed!

Tom: It is, but bloody hell those are some very close camera shots. I physically recoiled from my screen at one point. The five of them all next to each other, staring at a retreating camera? That’s got some full-on Invasion of the Body Snatchers vibes about it. Anyway: what works about it for you?

Tim: You’ve got your summer whistling, your easily discerned lyrics about how great the girl their singing to is, and speaking of lyrics, “A little bit of me, a little bit of you, a little bit of awesome when we are two” is simultaneously a godawful cheesy line to repeat forever and a brilliant cheesy line to repeat forever.

Tom: There’s an incredible amount of autotune in that middle eight, mind, and I’m not convinced it’s entirely for stylistic reasons.

Tim: You could very well be right there; on the other hand, though, the backing is such that it’s easy to click or clap along to, that harmony at the close of the middle eight is from page one of the boyband manual (which now I’ve dreamt it up is a book I really want someone to write), and you can never go wrong with a pile of “na na na na” and “ah ah ah ah”. Conclusion: it’s a great track, so if we keep up the almost good/great/almost good pattern, we could actually be successful here. Nice work.

Tom: By the way, the Boyband Manual might not be real, but you should definitely track down The Manual, by the KLF, if you haven’t already.

Tim: Hmm, well I do currently have about eighteen inches of unread books on my shelf; might bump that up the list though.

Galantis – In My Head

“It doesn’t quite have that undefinable thing”

Tim: You & I was a worldwide(ish) smash, Peanut Butter Jelly went top ten in the UK and Australia; how’ll this do? We won’t predict, because we’re terrible at that.

Tom: Ben Haenow’s at 18 in the midweek charts. Can’t believe it’s that low.

Tim: Ouch. Well, let’s check this out anyway.

Tim: Hmm. Well, unlike what would appear to be the average consumer I vastly preferred Peanut Butter Jelly to their debut, so maybe it’s a good thing for the duo that I don’t like this one as much?

Tom: Agreed on both counts. Peanut Butter Jelly was brilliant; this is… well, a bit more generic.

Tim: It’s still good, it’s still recognisably Galantis with the trademark dance and distorted vocal, but for me it doesn’t quite have that undefinable thing that made their last track so great.

Tom: I believe that’s technically called the “X Factor”.

Tim: True, although the TV show seems to have drained the original phrase of any form of utility. It took me a few listens to really get Peanut Butter Jelly, though, so maybe this’ll improve on me. I do hope so – like I said, it’s still good, and I’d love it if I soon came to think of it as great, but for now: not quite.

Sara Sangfelt – Tattoo

“Dark and loud and exciting”

Tim: I don’t know if it’s because I’ve watched a lot of Adele being a bit of a stalker recently but by the end of the first verse I was all ready to stay “here’s a Swedish Adele”.

Tom: Ådele?

Tim: Yeah, could work. Have a listen.

Tim: Obviously that went flying out the window upon arrival of the chorus when it went all dark and loud and exciting, because that’s not something I’m expecting the Skyfall hitmaker to be coming out with any time soon.

Tom: I sort of wish she did, though? I’d love to hear something like this on the new album. ANYWAY. Sara Sangfelt.

Tim: It’s a great track, this – as already stated, the chorus is dark and loud and exciting which provides a good contrast to the verse. I was all ready to say “how precisely does wearing someone like a tattoo work exactly” —

Tom: Permanently?

Tim: Yes, or until you attack them with lasers — but then the lyrics come along with the “under my skin, getting deeper and deeper”, and not being able to get rid of it, and it actually seems fairly clever. Nice lyrics, top music, fine vocals, ALL GOOD.

Suite 16 – Who I Wanna Be

“I don’t know who they’ve got on writing duties, but they really should be doing better.”

Tim: Previously, you reckoned that their debut sounded “like someone’s tried to take the pop-punk sound and hasn’t quite made it.” Well, as is standard with any new boyband’s second single, we’ve got a ballad.

Tim: And at the risk of making the majority of this review just a repeat of last time, I’m struggling to give this much more credence than “roughly just above average”.

Tom: Yep. To riff on what I said last time: it’s like someone’s tried to take Westlife’s sound and hasn’t quite made it.

Tim: Nice ending, decent comeback into the final chorus, can’t fault the vocals, especially not of the one who did the middle eight – the problem, as we entirely failed to identify last time, is just the song. I don’t know who they’ve got on writing duties, but for a boyband created via a fairly high profile TV series they really should be doing better.

Tom: That’s fair: the vocal performances are great, and the production — while perhaps a little dated in style — is still top quality.

Tim: Still, they have their Suitehearts (yep) to keep them going, so who know where they’ll end up.

Walk the Moon – Different Colors

“How do you not think this is brilliant?”

Tom: Remember how “Shut Up and Dance” was the kind of astonishing, one-hit wonder song that could never be repeated? A song which every one of their singles will be judged against in future?

Tim: Oh yes.

Tom: So the question is: can lightning strike twice? Can they manage it a second time?

Tom: No.

Tim: Aww, see now I feel guilty, because you were clearly going for a mic drop moment there, which might have been great, but I’m sorry, I can’t let you have that.

Tom: You ruined my mic drop. I can’t believe you ruined my mic drop.

Tim: Well, you gave me no choice, because this is a fantastic track, and one of my favourites on their album. Sure, it’s no Shut Up and Dance, but then your description of it as “could never be repeated” kind of forced that. But the “ooooh-ee-ooo-ee-ooooh” is a lovely riff, the “different colours” follow-on from that is is a fine shout-along bit, and the “we know the kids are right” is a great close to the chorus (fairly sure it’s used elsewhere, but that prevents nothing). How do you not think this is brilliant?

Tom: Because while there are good moments in there — you’ve mentioned them — they’re not that good. I can’t remember a bit of it. In short: it doesn’t make me shut up and dance.

Adele – Hello

“She’s certainly putting her voice to good use.”

Tom: There’s a minute of non-song before the song, just so you know. And well done to the director for including subtle sound effects all the way through so this can’t be ripped off YouTube.

Tim: I want someone to subtract the song from the audio there, so I can hear the phone conversation. But let’s speak about the song first.

Tom: You’re waiting through all that first verse for the Chorus. What were you saying the other day about Sia — about how the power of the voice can sometimes be all you need?

Tim: Yep – seems Adele got that message, because she’s certainly putting her voice to good use.

Tom: And what a voice this is. The song is typical Adele, and that’s not really a style that grabs me — but the voice is enough to carry it through.

Tim: I agree with the entirety on your last sentence – most of me thinks “big slow ballad, move on” but a small part appreciates the majesty of it. Nice work.

Tom: Got to be honest, though, I keep singing “is it me you’re looking for” after that first “Hello”, though.

Saturday Flashback: Alexander Vasiliou – Illusion

“What is happening two minutes into the video please?”

Tim: On Monday we had a track by Alexander that was for the most part very good but in some parts just awful. Today, we’ll have a track without that last bit.

Tim: Right, first thing first: what is happening two minutes into the video please? Because I know it’s choreography and everything, and they want the dancers to turn around, but does the guy really have to move his hand around so it looks exactly like he’s preparing to do a wee?

Tom: Oh blimey, I didn’t notice that at first, then I went back, and you’re right: it looks like they’re about to win the Nordic Synchronised Peeing contest, which I assume is a thing.

Tim: Well if not we should trademark it, because it could have potential. I don’t know why that leapt out at me, but anyway. Aurally, pretty good. Slightly egregious use of autotune, I’d say, but top marks for final chorus howling.

Tom: Come on, that’s a five-out-of-ten howl at best. It’s a solid track: Children of Tomorrow’s much better, were it not for that guitar.

Tim: You’re right – lose the guitar and that one’s a better track. This on its own, though: good enough as a decent dance track, and so let’s just hope that Children of Tomorrow is just a slight blip.