Olly Murs feat. Demi Lovato – Up

“What’s not to like?”

Tim: So I don’t really know how Olly Murs end up being the main artist here and Demi Lovato being the featured one, but never mind, it’s happened now and we’l just have to live with the implication of that forever.

Tom: For a UK audience? That’s probably about right.

Tim: I suppose so. Doesn’t seem ‘right’ right, though.

Tim: Starts out as a typical Olly Murs song – not great, not terrible, possibly a bit annoying after a while. But then SHE arrives, playing the other half of the slightly rocky relationship and the singer of that lovely chorus, and it all turns magical. Well, not properly magical, but very good nonetheless, not least because it passes my duet requirement of having a happy ending – “that’s up”.

Tom: Yep, Olly Murs definitely has the rough end of this deal. He gets all the downbeat verses, which admittedly aren’t too bad, but…

Tim: But in comparison, not so great. Along with the nice ending, we’ve got her aforementioned lovely chorus, which has a nice simple join-in-withable lead into it, and that good “hold on to what you’re feeling” chanting bit.

Tom: Right. I mean, I still don’t think we’ve got a world-changing record here — it’s a nice chorus, not a spectacular one, but it’s pretty good.

Tim: But don’t forget we also have those myriad “yeah”s in the middle eight – basically it’s a song that we can all take part in and have a lot of fun. And smash stuff up to, often enjoyable. What’s not to like?

A Great Big World – I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

“How beautifully upbeat.” “And how bloody annoying.”

Tom: Previously: Fountains of Wayne wanting an alien for Christmas. This has got a lot to live up to.

Tim: And I think you may be surprised. Quick explaining, though: as it turns out, there’s a reason I hadn’t heard of basically any of the songs on that compilation CD; namely, they’re all shit, or at the very least rather tedious. This, though, is not tedious, especially considering how you said yesterday you’re in favour of upbeat tracks.

Tim: And how beautifully upbeat that is.

Tom: And how bloody annoying.

Tim: What? It’s demanding, I suppose, because there aren’t many families that could have a hippo join them, even if it is just for Christmas (and especially given that they’re vegetarian). But still, the run-up to Christmas is when you’re allowed to be incredibly demanding and unreasonable, as long as you accept that with that comes an inevitable feeling of disappointment on the day itself. Or not, or course – maybe you will get a hippopotamus, in which case WELL DONE YOU for dreaming big. And I’ll have that dog if you’re otherwise just going to throw it out.

I’ve got distracted. Fun track, that’s what’s important.

Tom: You’re wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s like a half-assed They Might Be Giants, only not nearly as clever. I know, I know, I asked for upbeat, but this might as well be sung by a kids’ choir.

Tim: I suppose it could have that ring it. And I love it. Well done everyone.

Tom: Now leave.

Tim: Shan’t.

Christmas Flashback: ‘N Sync – I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Chistmas Without You

“A bit slower than it could be.”

Tim: In case you thought I wasn’t being entirely serious on Saturday when I suggested exploring a compilation of basically non-entities as far as Christmas tracks go: of course I wasn’t. A serious person wouldn’t dream of doing something so utterly risible.

Tim: But when some of the tracks are of this calibre, only a fool would pass up the idea. This one doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, so fortunately I can’t bore everybody again with chart statistics, but I’d rate it quite a bit higher that Britney’s offering, and not just for that key change.

Tom: See, I’m in favour of more uptempo Christmas tracks — dare I say, “jolly” Christmas tracks? It takes a Stay Another Day-quality ballad to pique my interest, whereas if you just stick a four-on-the-floor sleigh bell in there I’ll probably at least listen.

Tim: It does, on the other hand, probably go quite a bit slower than it could do, because while it’s obviously it’s a ballad it doesn’t really need to be a ballad that might keep time for a funeral procession.

Tom: Right! That’s exactly my problem with it.

Tim: But that aside, I like it, with it’s High School Musical style – not even the utterly nonsensical fan-made lyric video (if it actually counts as such) can make me dislike it too much.

Saturday Flashback: Britney Spears – My Only Wish (This Year)

“Like all the clichés got mixed together.”

Tim: Of course Britney’s done a Christmas track. Way back at the start of her career, her label thought it’d be a good idea. Upsettingly there’s no video for it, but let’s have a listen…

Tom: Wow, they pushed the Christmas dial up to maximum on that from the very start, didn’t they?

Tim: They certainly did, and, while I’ve certainly heard worse, that’s a good minute and a half longer than it needs to be.

Tom: It’s like all the Britney and Christmas song clichés got mixed together. There’s even a “bay-beh, bay-beh” in there.

Tim: It is early Britney, recognisably so, and it pains me to say it’s not done all that brilliantly. It didn’t chart anywhere for the first eight years of it’s existence, and when it finally got going in 2008 it got to 34 in Denmark and 41 in Sweden. It finally hit the big time in America in 2011, sort of, climbing to the heady heights of 49 on the Holiday Charts, and the highest it’s ever climbed was 24, in, erm, South Korea.

Tom: That’s a resounding “meh” if ever I heard one, particularly for an artist of that scale.

Tim: So yes. Entirely generic Christmas muzak, really, which no-one would ever really choose to buy but might just make it onto the occasional compilation. Eight of them, in this case.

Finally, speaking of compilations, there are a lot of Christmas ones out there, but I don’t think I’ve every come across one where I didn’t know a single song. Until this one. And since there’s not a lot on right now, shall we explore it? Yes. YES WE BLOODY WELL SHALL.

Tom: Oh dear. Brace yourself, reader.

McBusted – Get Over It

“Well that escalated quickly.”

Tim: So, here’s a video for you. (Music starts at 1:39.)

Tom: And as a heads up: there’s some bloody violence in here, albeit played for laughs, that might unsettle a few people.

Tom: Now, I was hoping that was an OK Go cover, because that “Get Over It” is pretty much perfect for McBusted. Instead, they just ripped off the keyboard scene from Wanted. (And yes, that is Professor X hitting Star-Lord in the face.)

Tim: I believe the standard phrase right now is “well that escalated quickly”. Assuming you’re okay with mindless violence and people getting off with gorillas, it’s rather enjoyable isn’t it?

Tom: I… guess? Heaven knows why Tom McFly has suddenly decided he’s going to be a 1980s cartoon wonderkid, though. And what’s with the opening scene shouting at the girl? It’s a cheap joke, but it… gah, I’m complaining about narrative in music videos, but it makes no sense at all. The track, though…

Tim: Loud and raucous, as befits a track sung by a guy telling himself to get his arse into gear or by an unconvincingly-acted employee telling his boss to do one. Decent tune to it, with plenty of singalongability, and a nice fun video to go along with it, complete with the staples of Busted jumps and Harry Judd getting his torso out because when doesn’t he.

Tom: Mmf. I listened again, this time without the video, and sure: it ain’t bad, but I can’t help feeling that McFly were much better than McBusted.

Tim: All in all, top track, and, dare I say it, one that would probably have made a better lead single than Air Guitar. But what do I know. Actually, don’t answer that.

Lisa Ajax – Unbelievable

“I… I have an issue with that chorus.”

Tim: We’ve already looked at the lovely X Factor victor this weekend provided us with; the previous weekend, though, gave us a Swedish Idol victor. This one, to be precise, with this winner’s song.

Tim: And what an excellent winner’s song that is, although the probably superfluous phone sound that appears just before each chorus got me very confused the first couple of times I heard it.

Tom: I… I have an issue with that chorus. “-lievable, -lievable, -lievable” makes me cringe in a way that most broken words in songs don’t. I can’t explain why: perhaps it feels like that should be done with an echo effect rather than actually having her sing it? Mind you, that’d probably sound worse.

Tim: Really? Because I have no issue at all with that, I think it sounds fine. This is a powerful song, a celebration of being brilliant, and everything is wonderful, with that triumphant key change just an extra bit on top. As for the runner up, Mollie Lindéns – unlike Fleur, her performance of this was, well, basically identical to the winner, aside from getting a bit screamy after the key change, so you’re not missing much.

Tom: Crikey, you’d think they’d arrange them two different ways at least.

Tim: Basically, it’s a great song, worthy of any winner. Congratulations Lisa.

Ben Haenow – Something I Need

“Croakiness and apparent desperation”

Tim: On Sunday, the wonderful Ben Haenow was crowned winner of The X Factor 2014, so shall we write about him before he fades into obscurity?

Tom: I still think his song should have been “Haenow, Haenow, don’t dream it’s over.”

Tim: A cover of OneRepublic’s track that never actually got released in Britain.

Tom: It’s an interesting choice: I wonder how many of the audience have ever heard the original? ‘Cos I haven’t: and it doesn’t seem too much like a Big Winner’s Single.

Tim: Perhaps not, but I think it fits his voice very well – slightly better, as I see it, than that of Fleur East, runner up. Even if she did sing it slightly better, he has the croakiness and apparent desperation there to emphasise that he NEEDS whatever the something it is that you got.

Tom: Mm. I’m not sure how healthy that is for your voice, but it clearly got him the votes. Incidentally, the first related video was him singing “Man in the Mirror“, which sounds exactly like the kind of song that should be his winner’s single.

Tim: Yes, you could be right there. This is, though, I suppose, an excellent demonstration of how songs fit people and how it may be better to have different songs for different winners. But I’m not ITV so I don’t get a say in this.

Tom: Well, you do, but it’s limited to five free votes on the app before they freeze the count, and five more after.

Tim: Well that it true at least, but all I really need to say is that I like this track, I like this winner, and my only regret about this year’s X Factor is that Only The Young got kicked out so early. Because they could be good.

Eurotix – He’ll Be Home For Christmas

“Oh, that intro got me RIGHT EXCITED.”

Tom: We’ve covered this Swedish Italo-disco project a couple of times before, generally because they email us their songs, which is always nice.

Previously, we’ve said: their videos are dodgy, their sound is good, but they tend to go on a bit longer than they need to. Well, BRACE YOURSELF…

Tim: Ooh?

Tom: …because NOTHING HAS CHANGED:

Tim: Oh.

Tim: Oh, that intro got me RIGHT EXCITED.

Tom: Sometimes, it’s okay to just put some snow and some tastefully-kerned words on screen. This is one of those times. I feel a little guilty saying that, since it’s the video editor that sent this in to us — but it’s the kind of video that inspires a “mate, maybe not?” reaction.

Tim: I pushed play and switched to a different tab; on reading that I switched back and saw the blue wonky-eyed reindeer spinning through space. Fairly sure the people in the next building heard my laugh. I LOVE IT. My reaction is “mate, DEFINITELY,” although admittedly the relationship being represented by various penguin images doesn’t make much sense.

Tom: As for the music: they’ve reached into the Big Bag of Christmas Europop Clichés, picked out as many things as could fit in their hands, and bunged them all into a track. The result is surprisingly good, actually.

Tim: It’s very, very good. I’m trying not to giggle at “Now he’s on his way to me/in time to trim my Christmas tree,” because it probably isn’t meant as an innuendo, but I think we’ve found my level of maturity.

Tom: Sure, we’ve heard everything here before, but I can see this padding out one of those bulging 4-CD “Complete Christmas” compilations. It’s not a classic, but it’s… well, it’s nice. And it could be so much worse.

Tim: That’s an interesting album – the sort of one where you can listen to thirty seconds of each track and enjoy it, but then desperately need to skip to the next one. If you’re browsing Spotify for Christmas re-interpretations, though, have The Green Days of Christmas.

Coldplay – Miracles

“Wouldn’t mind a bit more on the vocal.”

Tom: I swear that every Coldplay single is also from a film soundtrack these days.

Tom: But then, when you’ve got a sound that can be summed up in the word “anthemic”… I guess that makes sense.

Tim: Yes, and in particular it’s anthemic in a way that’s considerably stronger in the instrumental sections.

Tom: The intro’s beautiful — in fact pretty much all the instrumentation is, particularly that build towards the chorus. The vocals, though? They don’t really add all that much.

Tim: No – I was very impressed by the introduction, as you were, but the vocal came in and not a lot happened then until we were done with the chorus.

Tom: This is a soundtrack for a film, and I’m not sure that actually makes it a good single. It deserves to roll over the ending credits of a movie: I’m just not sure it belongs in the charts.

Tim: I don’t know – the strong instrumental bits are very strong indeed, and that closing section is wonderful. Just…yeah, wouldn’t mind a bit more on the vocal.

Saturday Flashback: Tracey Cole – Stars are Blind (Almighty Mix)

“I wonder what the original is?”

Tom: “This is a really good track, and I’ve not heard it before,” I thought the other day while listening to an old Almighty Records compilation, “I wonder what the original is?”

Tim: Huh, that is a really good track. What is the original?

Tom: Well, you see, that’s where it all fell apart, because it turns out the original is Paris Hilton’s first single.

Tim: Oof. You mean the one…

Tom: The one that’s close enough to UB40’s Kingston Town that they sued over it, yes.

So by all standards, I should hate this song. But without the half-assed reggae backing of the original; you’ve got a dance remix — standard, yes, but one that fits the song pretty much perfectly.

Tim: Yep. I’d far rather listen to this than the original, certainly.

Tom: As they occasionally do, Almighty Records have pretty much fixed the song.

Tim: And this is why we love them so much – even if it’s a slightly bizarre reinterpretation, more often than not they’re just brilliant.