Mohombi – Universe

“A party track with pretty much everything, really”

Tim: I know we’re back to Monday, but let’s have a party track. The here, to be specific, the title track off Mohombi’s second album, which was released back in July.

Tim: A party track with pretty much everything, really, from the strings with attitude right through to the bagpipes (or at least the synth line that sounds like bagpipes), because why not?

Tom: It really does pay off in the last chorus, doesn’t it? It took a long time to get there, though.

Tim: And to be honest, before hearing this if you’d said to me “Tim, here’s a party track that’s improved by the existence of bagpipes,” I’d have sensibly told you to do one (whilst admittedly enjoying DJ Sakin’s Braveheart rework). But here, the bagpipes work.

Tom: I’m not sure how you forgot Dario G’s Carnaval de Paris, notable for using both accordion and bagpipes and still, astonishingly, being really good.

Tim: Oh. No, I’m not sure either. Though working here it might partly be that they only occasionally take centre stage, often being drowned out by everything else that’s going on in the chorus, or it might— actually, I’m going to interrupt myself, because that chorus: what a chorus it is. And what a pre-chorus. And, indeed, everything else about this track, because it’s just brilliant, really.

Tom: I’m going to pull the reins back just a little here, and say: it’s okay. I just don’t see where you’re getting the astonishment from, though; but then, it was the other way round on Friday with Sharks. It’s almost like music opinions are subjective, or something.

Tim: Who’d have thought it?

Saturday Flashback: Jo O’Meara – Relentless

“It wasn’t just as a group that they could come up with a lovely ballad.”

Tim: This week’s big music news: a S Club 7 reunion! Initially just for Children in Need, but, well, that was what McBusted said and look at what’s happened since. But we all know their tracks. What of the individuals in the meantime?

Tom: If I remember rightly, Bradley was turning up anywhere that’d pay him, and Jo was accused of bullying on Big Brother.

Tim: Ah, but it wasn’t just bullying:

Tom: Oh. She also did that, then.

Tim: Yes, and I think this clearly goes to show that it wasn’t just as a group that they could come up with a lovely ballad. Obscure, I’ll grant you: it’s the title track off basically-the-lead-female Jo’s single solo album, from which there was one top twenty single. This never got a release at all, what with the solo campaign being pulled after the album peaked itself just inside the top 50.

Tom: That’s a harsh response from the public. You’re right that it’s not actually a bad ballad – it’s a bit generic, but there’s nothing wrong with it.

Tim: So yes, it’s obscure; why here, then? Because – everyone remembers S Club 7 for the big ones like Reach and Bring It All Back and S Club Party. But they weren’t the best ones, they were just the party ones.

Tom: Ooh. Now, I’d say there’s a strong crossover between “best” and “party”. What else did they have?

Tim: For the true musical talent, you have to look for the ballads. The Have You Evers. The You’re My Number Ones. The Never Had A Dream Come Trues. That’s where the talent lies, and that’s where this comes into it.

Tom: Hmm. The public, it seems, thought otherwise.

Tim: Upsetting. But still, TWENTY DAYS TO GO.

Sharks – Wait

“Definitely worth the wait.”

Tim: I thought of a great introduction to this, then realised that if I wrote it you probably wouldn’t want to listen to it. So I won’t write that, and instead I’ll say try not to be put off by the verses.

Tim: Okay so what I was going to say was along the lines of ‘If you’d only heard I Love It and not liked it, you’d probably describe this as “Icona Pop, but even worse”.’

Tom: That’s true, but I’d say this is better than I Love It.

Tim: Really? Because as I see it, it’s largely tuneless, the stuff in the background is primarily noise…

Tom: Wait, really? It’s more tuneful than shouty, that’s for sure, and the production’s pretty damn melodic. They’re using loud and square-sounding synths, sure, but it’s certainly got a melody in there.

Tim: Oh, the production, sure, but so was Icona Pop’s. It’s the vocals in the verses that really get me – almost irritating to listen to.

Tom: That first line did grate a bit, but for some reason the fact that they really committed to it rescued in my head: perhaps it reminded me a bit of old J-Pop or something similar.

Tim: HOWEVER, I will say that if you can get past the intro and the verse and the pre-chorus, there’s a very good chorus in there. It’s a big if, and like the songs says you have to wait (even if you don’t want to), but it’s definitely there, and possibly worth the wait.

Tom: Definitely worth the wait.

Tinchy Stryder and the Chuckle Brothers – To Me, To You

“Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.”

Tim: What.

Tom: That’s right. Tinchy Stryder and the Chuckle Brothers. On a rap track. For charity. This is going to be…

Tom: …a massive disappointment.

Tim: Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

Tom: There are so many missed opportunities here. Granted, I’m automatically against “faked conversation about making the song” songs, but here it’s even worse than usual.

Tim: It is the one part that made me smile, though, however briefly.

Tom: It’s got one joke. In the whole thing. In fact, it’s not even a joke, it’s just a plot. Where’s the attempt at rapping a verse from Barry or Paul? Where’s some actual lyrics?

Tim: Or any production at all aside from that horrific-after-thirty-seconds-let-alone-four-minutes loopy bit underneath.

Tom: It’s repetitive, it’s lazy, and it’s trying to survive on just “look we got together for charity”, not “look, we made something funny or entertaining for charity”.

Tim: Yeah – I was going to say “Well, they’re basically made their living by reciting ‘to me, to you’,” but now I think about it of course they didn’t, that’s just a catchphrase. There was actual humour, unlike here.

Tom: It’s not “so bad it’s good”, it’s just bad. It’s the half-assed, trivial “sober October” to the actual challenging “charity marathon”. And it could have been so, so much more. That’s the most frustrating part.

Tim: Well, at least they owned up to it in the lyrics – “leave the jokes aside”.

Tom: We’ve established plenty of times before that we’re not letting charity singles slack off just because they’re fundraising. This one shouldn’t either. You hear that, Tinchy? NO SLACKING.

Hannah Schneider – Dreaming Kind

“A battle cry for sensitive dreamers”

Tim: E-mailed to us as “a catchy floating airy electro-pop track with a video full of images of freedom and magic”. Pretty much lives up to that, so have a gander.

Tom: YouTube’s age-gated this video, so those at work may want to take appropriate precautions.

Tim: The PR that followed in the rest of the e-mail is roughly thesis-length, starting with ‘colourful family history’; quite frankly I’d got bored by the third paragraph, which focused on her granddad’s romantic exploits in America (seriously), so I skipped to the end and found that Dreaming Kind “was conceived as a battle cry for sensitive dreamers”.

Tom: That’s… well, I’m not sure that’s possible.

Tim: Yeah – I’m fairly sure there’s some sort of oxymoron in there but never mind, because the original ‘floating airy’ bit is good enough for me – describes it well, with all the “oh-oh-oh-oh-etc”s, and it’s a lovely track.

Tom: You seem to like this sort of thing much more than I do. I get that all the component parts are good, but it just seems…

Tim: Mostly forgettable?

Tom: Yep. That.

Tim: Maybe, but her new album’s out next week and I’ll be giving it a listen.

King Shaolin – Friend

“That’s just not hygienic.”

Tom: An anonymous reader sends this in, with the not-particularly-helpful note “Slovakia music”.

Tim: Hmm, let’s see…four piece ‘new-age pop’ banded formed in Bratislava, with a Wikipedia section that’s definitely not been written by their record label.

Tim: Well as a cookery instructional video that’s just not hygienic.

Tom: I think the best advice for this song is: “mate, you don’t need that autotune”.

At about 1:39, in case you’re wondering.

Tim: Oh. Oh, yes.

Tom: That moment makes me wonder how much more of it’s been applied to the track: and while I’ve got no real problem with use of autotune itself, it’s a bit like breaking the fourth wall in a play. As a stylistic choice, it makes sense: just doing it once seems a bit sloppy.

Tim: Either that, or they slightly overapplied it and hoped no-one would notice, which’d be my bet here.

Tom: Anyway, the song. I’ll be honest: I didn’t expect that pre-chorus. Once I got used to what the song was actually trying to do, it started to work for me: but the whistling got repetitive, the melody got a little dull, and not even the middle eight could stop me moving off to another tab and getting distracted.

Tim: Yeah: it’s an enjoyable track, but I was ready for it to finish after two and a half minutes.

Tom: Shame: there’s a good song in here somewhere, but it’s just not quite made it.

Tim: I’d say made it, and then made some more and more and never really knew when to stop.

Zara Larsson – Rooftop

“She rhymed ‘crazy’ with ‘crazy’.”

Tom: Our regular correspondent, CB, sends this in with the note that it’s got “somewhat cringeworthy lyrics”. CB’s not wrong.

Tim: Oh, SO WRONG – those lyrics are perfect.

Tom: She rhymed “crazy” with “crazy”. Fairly sure these lyrics were actually written by a ten-year-old.

Tim: EXACTLY. Glad we brought this up, because remember Carry You Home? Lyrics included “I’ve been through the days when bright love turns into hate” and “You lose the way and you hit the wall, I’ll be the one to carry you home”, and I’ve got to say, as I meant to say then: bullshit. THOSE are the cringeworthy lyrics, because she’s 16. SIXTEEN. She has not been through those days, and she is not remotely in a position to carry someone emotionally when they’ve been through shit. She is ENTIRELY in a position, though, to dream up a perfect future life based on getting off with one guy at a party.

Tom: I should really dislike this song — not just for the lyrics, for the fact it outstays its welcome, and that it basically epitomises my regular complaints about ‘monotony’. But I can’t, and it’s because of the production. The synth lines in the background are brilliant, the melody works well, and it manages — and this is a hell of a compliment — to sound almost like it’s off Beyoncé’s new album.

Tim: Hmm. I’d say a Jessie J album, and it would sit in the same position in my iTunes library – just about made its way there off a Now compilation, and probably skipped over whenever it came up.

Tom: Apart from those lyrics. If they’d used a different lyricist, this could have been a brilliant track. As it is: well, I’ll hope for an instrumental.

Tim: And I’d take an a capella version. Shall we split it?

Saturday Flashback: Krassimir Avramov – Illusion

“The epitome of ‘Eurovision WTF-ery'”

Tim: Last week, Bulgaria announced they wouldn’t be taking part in next year’s Eurovision Song Contest. That’s sort of a shame.

Tim: I say ‘sort of’, I’m not really sure.

Tom: Crikey. Did they decide to just freestyle it? Could they not agree on a key?

Tim: I think there’s a song in there somewhere, but I can’t be entirely sure. It certainly not what I, or most likely anyone else, ended up focusing on. We have fire in the background, we have capes, we have countertenor singing, we have ludicrous floor decoration, and we have dancers on stilts swinging each other around in what appears to be a direct attempt to fly off into the crowd. This is, basically, the epitome of this ‘Eurovision WTF-ery’ that people occasionally mention.

Tom: Only without a decent tune attached to it.

Tim: There is of course an official video, which features a medieval battlefield, two women kissing, a child clutching a doll with its head caved in, a pair of dwarves, the grim reaper and some softcore porn for good measure.

So yeah, we may well not see this ever again. Not sure I’m complaining.

Diandra – Onni On

“It’s about as schlagery as modern pop gets these days”

Tim: You may or may not remember Diandra’s previous occurrence on these pages, Paha Poika, involving some really not very nice lyrics.

Tom: I also remember ‘Out Of My Head‘, which is still one of the best tunes we reviewed that year.

Tim: You’re not wrong there. ‘Onni on’, in contrast to Paha Poika, translates to ‘Happiness Is’, and that’s got to be a good indicator, right?

Tim: RIGHT. Great indeed. As ever with Finnish, it seems, Google Translate’s not the best, but the main thrust is that happiness is so unpredictable that it can come from anywhere.

Tom: I didn’t predict that key change, that’s for sure.

Tim: I would agree with this, and put forth examples such as hands-swaying-in-the-air choruses, big drumbeats on pretty much every single second and fourth beat and, of course, unexpected key changes, which in this case seems nothing short of divine.

Tom: It’s about as schlagery as modern pop gets these days, and I mean that as a compliment. That outro is gorgeous, too.

Tim: With the exception of the slightly not great introduction (which is such a minor niggle it’s barely worth mentioning), I cannot think of an immediate way to improve this song. It’s wonderful, and a perfect example of its own message.

Gabriel Alares – Dårarna

“That’s a cracking start.”

Tim: FOOLS, we all are, according to Gabriel, Eurovision songwriter and Swedish Idol-contestant, now branching out into singing.

Tim: BOOM, that’s a cracking start, and it’s a little disappointing it drops down straight after the intro, but I won’t complain too much because while it would be nice for some change, that is basically standard fare for verses.

Tom: And somehow, that Swedish sounds filthy.

Tim: Still, the choruses are very nice with their mesh of traditional pop/rock instruments and synths, combined with an enthusiastic vocal line and a shouty oh-oh-oh-etc line – all combining to give actually one of the best choruses I’ve heard in a while.

Tom: The vocals, for some reason, sound a bit 80s to me: perhaps they’re resonating with a memory of a particular song. Top marks for that middle eight, though.

Tim: The closing section I also like, because while the choruses are good, it’s that production in the background that really shines, so it’s nice that that’s been alllowed to take centre stage. All in all, good track.