Eric Turner vs Avicii – Dancing In My Head

Count The Typos! (Contains masterful but truly appalling pun.)

Tim: You may remember Eric Turner as the guy who added excessive inhalation to Written In The Stars a couple of years back.

Tom: Oh, but what a voice he had – if you ignore the inhalations, it sounded beautiful.

Tim: Now, he’s breathing less, but to compensate for losing that annoyance he’s got a whole new one. So let’s have a game of Count The Typos!

Tim: It doesn’t get off to a good start – a misspelling in the first line is hardly what you’re after – and then we have missing apostrophes, question marks in silly places, and all sorts of other stuff to irritate the pedants.

Tom: I actually switched to another tab – the bouncy hyperactive camera movements and graphics were a bit too much. I couldn’t properly listen to the music at the same time.

Tim: I quite liked that part of it, to be honest.

However, we’re not here to criticise that (not that that’s ever stopped us before, but anyway), we’re here to do the music. Which is good.

Tom: It is, although crikey, it does seem to go on a bit. The melody is something that a primary school kid could sing easily – perhaps a bit too simple, instead of soulful.

Tim: Simple, perhaps, but that does make it a catchy chorus with a great backing to it (though that was probably a given).

Tom: True. It sounds like Aviici’s regular style, and that’s a good thing. Eric Turner’s voice is lost among the instrumentation though.

Tim: The lyrics of said chorus work well as a slightly weird metaphor to the ex and proper instructions to the crowd in front of him when he’s doing this live, which is presumably the point. The only thing that I don’t like (well, why? wouldn’t we finish a positive review with a negative point) is the ‘cursed’ bit – if he let her go, as he tells us, then as far as I’m concerned he’s only got himself to blame. Foolish man.

Tom: You know what I’d like to see? A concert with Eric Turner, Frank Turner and Tina Turner singing together. I’m not sure why.

Tim: That would be interesting, but what I’d really like is a week of X Factor dedicated to those artists, because that way Bonnie Tyler could come on at the start and introduce it as the Turner Round.

Bim – Lights Out

“That is something, isn’t it? What exact thing, I’m not sure”

Tim: I’m not sure I’d know how to introduce this, so I won’t try.

Tim: Now, that is something, isn’t it? What exact thing, I’m not sure – heavy dance or emotional ballad, upbeat with hands in the air or downbeat with head in your hands, or maybe just one big mess.

Tom: “You know that sound Ellie Goulding’s got? Yeah, turn it up to 11 and mix in a bit of Pendulum.”

Tim: But it’s a very good mess, at that – it all comes together, without much structure to it, but with fantastic instrumentation and wonderfully emotive voices.

Tom: Can’t argue with that.

Tim: Speaking of structure, that second verse cause me no end of trouble. It seems to sound massively out of place (though not in a bad way), and so the first couple of times I heard it I thought it was the middle eight, so then the next chorus was logically the final one, so the “I will me you see…stars” was the end.

Tom: My brain went the same way – I reckon that the track possibly overstays its welcome a bit, but that’s not much of a criticism to make. That “stars” would seem a natural end of the song.

Tim: It would, but it doesn’t overstay its welcome – after all, ending it there would leave us barely two and a half minutes of it, and that would be a shame. It just seems like it does, so my brain started hurting. But soon felt better, because this track’s just great, messy as it may be.

Also note: fans of this may wish to check out their track Scream1, which for some reason we unfortunately missed. Because that one’s good as well.

Saturday Flashback: Sash – Stay

“I had a dream last night.”

Tim: There’s nothing to say about this track, decent dance track and all, so you might wonder why I want to put it here.

Tom: Well, I have one thing – even now, the “tear down these walls” section stands out as a rarity for me: a lyric in a dance track that actually seems to contain a big pile of emotion. Something about how it shifts an octave (and, I think, into an odd key) gives an effect you don’t normally find.

Anyway: what was it you were wanting to say?

Tim: Well, you know how ages back we said we’d like a thing where you could push a button in response to someone saying “it’s all about you” and a snippet of McFly would play? I have another one, and yesterday I remembered what song it was from.

Tom: Wait, what would this be in response to?

Tim: It would be in response to “I had a dream last night.” Aside from amusing me somewhat, this would also have the effect of possibly stopping their probably fairly dull dream story before it got started, which would be handy.

That’s all I have to say, really, expect that I’ve just realised that some of the shots in the Jason Bourne films seem to be frame-by-frame copies of parts of that video.

Tom: I’d be willing to bet that’s not deliberate – they’re just “generic action movie” shots. Decent budget and quality for a video like this, though.

Tim: Yes, but despite what you say I do hope Sash got royalties or something. Maybe a mention in the film’s credits.

Moa Lignell – Whatever They Do

It would be nice if we could have a selection of templates.

Tim: If you’re scared of spiders, or terrifying haircuts, you might want to turn away for the middle part of this video. Just so you know.

Tom: BLOODY HELL! I don’t know whether that’s just because you primed me with the word “spider”, but that genuinely made me jump. Gah.

Tim: Good, isn’t it? Now, sometimes I think it would be nice if we could have a selection of templates, so that if we think a track isn’t hugely interesting we could act in kind and not put much effort into reviewing.

Tom: Aha! A Forer Effect test for music – the kind of generic personality description that most people think actually applies to them.

Tim: For example, it could go like this:

Well, this starts out pleasantly and vaguely promisingly, though to be honest by end of the first verse I was getting bored. Fortunately, the chorus came along and added enough variety to keep me listening, though it fairly soon became background tab fodder and my brain just sorted of tuned out. It’s nice, I suppose, but, well, couldn’t they have brought the final chorus forward to the other ones and then spiced that bit up even more?

Tom: Yep, that’ll do. It’s surprising how much pop music fits into that template.

Tim: Because I think that sums it up fine, and you’re right, a lot of songs are like this. It would be a lot easier, therefore, if we could just copy it in.

Tom: I think in future, we just won’t cover them at all.

Nova Delai – Should I

“My name is Nova Delai, and these are my boobies”

Tim: “My name is Nova Delai, and these are my boobies”

Tom: And skirt. There’s a lot of skirt in there.

Tim: The thing is, they were probably trying to make some sort of point with that video gimmick, maybe like how it could be any woman in her position, wondering whether to leave her boyfriend or not, but how on Earth did no-one spot that all they were doing was filming her breasts?

Tom: Now, there’s a whole discussion to be had there on whether a torso shot – and a particularly chaste torso shot at that – counts as ‘filming her breasts’, but if YouTube comments are anything to go by, then that’s all that anyone’s noticed.

Tim: It is entirely distracting from what is actually a pretty good song.

Tom: It’s not my cup of tea really, but I’m not sure why – decent melody, decent percussion, ticks all the boxes for a decent song… but somehow it didn’t grab me. Can’t explain why.

Tim: Fair enough. And at least this ‘should I leave him?’ video doesn’t feature a beach party.

Amelia Lily – You Bring Me Joy

“BOOK ME A FLIGHT, BILL!”

Tom: AMELIA! LILY! Sorry, whenever we get an X Factor single come along, I get Peter Dickson’s voice doing the announcing in my head.

Tim: Hmm, for me it’s just the interesting ones that stick out – FRANKIE COCOZZA! SOPHIE HABIBIS! RACHEL ADEJEJI! Anyway, just to warn you, the upcoming video is as predictable and boring as they come, it bears little to no resemblance to what the song’s about and if we’re honest probably wasn’t worth the effort.

Tom: “Road trip in America? That worked for Bromance. And it’ll mean I can get a jolly to California on expenses. BOOK ME A FLIGHT, BILL!”

Tim: Erm, ‘Bill’…?

Tom: I’m seeing him as the long-suffering PA of the music video director. There might be a sitcom there.

Tim: I’d watch that. Or certainly the first episode, to see if you’d done a good job of it. Anyway, this music.

Tim: Actually, we’ll do the music quickly, because I want to talk (and probably end up shouting) about the video. It’s a very danceable track, with nice voice and a great beat and it’s likely to be a radio and club mainstay for the time being what with it being X Factor and all.

Tom: Yep, can’t disagree with that. Found myself tapping my feet along to it – it’s a by-the-numbers track, but unlike yesterday’s robotic effort, this seems to have a bit of passion to it.

Tim: Anything else, before we move on to the important stuff?

Tom: One other thing, actually: it’s a REPEAT UNTIL FADE! How long has it been since we’ve had a repeat until fade? That’s positively retro these days!

Tim: And just as annoying as ever. But no matter, because that fades into nothing when compared to the video, which is just – what? It starts off on the right track – she’s looking a bit melancholy on the road trip, thinking back to a guy she’s recently taken a break with (I’m extrapolating a bit, but I think that’s right), and not having quite as much fun as the others in her group, occasionally accompanied by some reminiscent imagery. But then we get to a petrol station, and she meets a fit guy and – surprise surprise – goes to a beach party.

Tom: “BILL! I need some generic attractive people for a beach party. I might get drunk and try and sleep with one of them after we wrap. Get on it.”

Tim: Which would all be fine – Mr Hot Abs is exactly what she wants, a quick fling and she’ll decide one way or the other about the first guy – except that the music and lyrics stay EXACTLY THE SAME. The whole time she’s singing about feeling sad and confused but actually being all happy and well up for it, and it MAKES NO SENSE. I HATE THIS VIDEO.

Tom: You got a bit angry there.

Tim: Yep. Shouting.

Parade – Light Me Up

Unexpected drum and bass backing!

Tim: The Saturdays have just celebrated their fifth birthday; here’s a fairly new girl group that are presumably hoping for the same sort of success (perhaps even with a number 1 thrown in for good measure).

Tom: Unexpected drum and bass backing! Genuinely surprised by that – and it’s a sign of how that particular backing has become almost old-fashioned in pop music. Things move pretty fast.

Tim: They do, which is often nice, unless it’s something you’re particularly attached to. Oh, Flip & Fill.

(just having a moment here)

Tom: Do you… do you want to be alone?

Tim: Err, no, I think I’m done now. Right, this song. Verses: standardish, but not at all bad. Pre-chorus: a tad dull. Chorus: amazing, and to be honest it wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out that the pre-chorus was toned down deliberately just to highlight this. Dubstep breakdown: simultaneously came out of nowhere and entirely failed to surprise me.

(Sidenote: I like the way this lyric video demonstrates the visual difference between genres; I’m not sure it’s been done before.)

Second part of the middle-eight: lovely, gently bringing us back to the aforementioned amazing chorus. Which is amazing. Isn’t it?

Tom: I wouldn’t go so far as “amazing” for the chorus, but it’d certainly keep me dancing, and I can’t ask for more than that.

Underworld – Caliban’s Dream

“Wait – when did you stop hating everything Olympic?”

Tom: I’m slightly behind the times here – I’ve only just realised that the Olympic opening ceremony music has been released as an album. And I know this doesn’t count as any kind of pop, really, but damn it, I’ve fallen in love with the flame-lighting music.

Tim: But…but wait – when did you stop hating everything Olympic?

Tom: During the opening ceremony – when it stopped being about corporations, sponsorship and travel disruption and started being about people, history and achievement. Not a flippant answer, I know, but true.

Tim: True for you and also, I reckon, about another 62 million people.

Tom: There are quite a few “featurings” here, more than enough to fit in our title: Alex Trimble from Two Door Cinema Club, Only Men Aloud, the Dockhead Choir, Elizabeth Roberts, Esme Smith and – amazingly – Dame Evelyn Glennie.

Tim: Don’t forget the demons and Satan himself.

Tom: What?

Tim: You know – like Trevor Nelson said in the commentary, how Danny Boyle worked hard with the boys from the underworld. I liked that.

Tom: Bloody Trevor Nelson.

I think partly the reason I like this so much is because of remembering what went with it: sitting in a house party, all cynicism having been melted away by (Sir, surely?) Danny Boyle’s opening ceremony, and then being gobsmacked by the actual torch lighting.

Tim: A very impressive moment, that was. I actually missed the ceremony live because I was in a pub, but I did watch it on a train on the way to Leicester the next day, so that counts.

Tom: I remember wondering what this music was – and now I know. Specially composed by Underworld. Yes, it’s a piece from a soundtrack rather than an actual pop single, and yes, it defies all common structure and reviewing methods – but that hasn’t stopped it being being in the iTunes Top 10 all week.

Tim: Deservedly so, because it is lovely. Not necessarily to pay attention to constantly, but to listen to while you’re relaxing or reading or something, and you can sit up and pay attention every now and again when choirs come in and sing or at that bit five minutes in. Lovely for that.

Tom: And then Paul McCartney turned up to sing “Hey Jude”. It can’t all be perfect.

Saturday Flashback: Kate Winslet – What If

“I feel like I should apologise for subjecting our reader to this.”

Tom: Wait, what?

Tim: Oh yes, you read that right. Now, I will happily admit this is a fairly awful song (despite my continuing view that nothing is definitively good or bad), but it honestly is one of my favourite songs ever.

Tom: I feel like I should apologise for subjecting our reader to this.

Tim: It’s just SO CHEESY it’s not true. If we were to imagine a scale of cheese, we might have something like Wings as a tuft of mozzarella, My Love as a gentle cheddar, while this is way up there as a proper gorgonzola. And, for precisely this reason, I love this so much.

Tom: It’s the cash-in Oscar Bait soundtrack hit from a Christmas movie. It was always going to be on the cheese scale, but oh bloody hell that key change. I mean, you know it’s going to have one, but that is a humdinger.

Tim: Isn’t it just divine?

Here’s an anecdote you probably won’t believe is true: I was having a fairly important conversation with someone at work, and this song came on. Whatever he said, I couldn’t stop a huge smile coming across my face.

Tom: No, that sounds about normal for you.

Tim: When the chorus hit, I swear to God I started swaying gently. It’s probably a good thing we turned it off before the key change hit, because I don’t think I could have resisted singing out loud to it. It’s awful, and I LOVE IT.

Tom: I’m not sure I can bring myself to dislike it. I wish I could.

Tim: EMBRACE IT.

Belle – Sisters Anthem

Bloody hell, that starts as it means to go on.

Tim: Part of me can’t help feeling that they left an apostrophe out of the title of this because no-one was entirely sure where to put it. Anyway, some feminism for you.

Tom: Bloody hell, that starts as it means to go on.

Tim: Let’s get through the annoying parts first: the camp voiceover bloke, the existence of ‘anthem’ and ‘women’ as three syllables and aforesaid apostrophe absence. Any others that spring to mind?

Tom: The camp voiceover bloke is a new way to avoid YouTube ripping – and it’s going to be effective, although I’m not sure if annoying the hell out of your audience is the right way to go.

Tim: I really don’t think it is, but I suppose time will tell. Anyway, of those three, only one is actually present in the music, and that can be sort of vaguely justified what with rhythm and all that, so first glance: this is okay. Second hearing, though, it’s actually a bit dull, and I’ve realised that not only are lyric videos a cheap way of getting on YouTube but still looking professional —

Tom: Mind you, it’s not even a particularly well-designed lyric video; whoever’s put it together could use learning how to ease movement.

Tim: — but they can also be a way to distract the listener with pretty effects, a fact which had somehow passed me by until now. It’s not a bad song; it’s just that the lyric video’s more interesting, which I suppose can hardly be construed as heavy praise.

Tom: It seems almost robotic and mechanical; maybe it started too hard and had nowhere to go from there.