Paw & Lina – Stolt Af Mig Selv?

From that intro I’m hoping they get known for this.

Tim: The two people who make up the (technically still ongoing) band Infernal have decided to make other music but using a different name. A bit like Cheryl Cole becoming Cheryl, but even more odd.

Tom: Still going? Blimey. British listeners will know them for “From Paris To Berlin” and not much else.

Tom: But blimey, from that intro I’m hoping they get known for this.

Tim: Now, here’s what I don’t like about this: the song is absolutely not what the intro and first verse make you think it’s going to be.

Tom: Oh. Now that’s disappointing. Because I want this to KICK IN. Wait, it did. Without wanting to seem to aggressive: what’s your problem?

Tim: Well, the strings in there, the drumming bits and the type of singing got me all lined up for a Call Me Maybe type track of lovely smile-on-your-face pop. But it isn’t, aside from that and the lead-in to the second chorus. It jumps around all over the place – plain pop, electro stuff, a tiny bit of dubstep, occasional autotune – and it just makes me wonder what’s going on.

Tom: I’m not particularly worried about what’s going on, because it’s all good. If Fun—

Tim: The pedant in me needs to point out that the band is in fact called fun., not Fun.

Tom: —fine, if “fun.” can get to number 1 with a track that never settles down into any particular pattern – and that’s a well-deserved number 1, by the way – then the occasional genre mashups that are going on here aren’t going to cause any issue.

Tim: Yes, it is all good – individually, I quite like all the bits, and wouldn’t mind a whole song of each of them, but none of them quite lives up to what the first bit was promising, which annoys me.

Tom: Really? It’s just fine by me.

Diandra – Out Of My Head

She has come out with a proper TUNE.

Tim: Recent winner of the Finnish variant of the Idol brand, Idols, she has come out with a proper TUNE. (That’s, like a CHOON, but not quite a full-on dance track. You’ll see what I mean.)

Tom: I agree. That is a TUNE. With a T.

Tim: I started listening to this up to the first chorus, thought, ‘Yeah, it’s okay,’ and swiftly stuck it in a background tab. Thirty seconds later I thought the song was about to finish, so I went back to it, and then realised it was still only in the second chorus. Now, that’s a lot of words for a fairly dull story, but it demonstrates what I’m about to say: this song has HUGE choruses, and I LOVE THEM.

Tom: There’s something about those simple, up and down the scale choruses that just work, isn’t there?

Tim: Simple? Melodically, maybe, but other than that, not a chance – there’s so much to them that calling them simple is just plain rude. It’s not all great: the first part of the middle eight goes on far too long for my liking, and that long note before the closing part is positively yearning to be followed by a key change, but that aside this song’s a right good number.

Tom: The ghost of Tony Blackburn taking you over for a moment, there. He’s right, mind you.

Mika feat. Pharrell Williams – Celebrate

Tim: New one off Mika, who was last seen releasing ‘Elle Me Dit’; this was all in French, and, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, got to number one in France, number 17 in Switzerland and entirely failed to chart anywhere else. So we’re back to English for this one, and if you have 3D glasses, try wearing them. I have no idea what might happen, but the video looks like it’ll be special.

Tim: Pretty good, no?

Tom: Mmf. I’ll give it “pretty good”, but I have some issues.

Tim: Really? Because admittedly part of me’s disappointed that he’s left behind a lot of the originality of Grace Kelly and that lot, but if he’s still got tunes like this up his sleeve then I say bring them out.

Tom: Okay, let me explain my reasoning: I love the build-up to the chorus, and the middle-eight – which are basically the same thing. Not the chorus itself: but the bits immediately before “I want the whole world to celebrate”. The last chorus ain’t bad, but the others are just too sparse.

Tim: Hmm, I’d not really noticed that, but now you mention it it does seem a bit off. Not so much that it puts me off, though. One issue I do have, though, is the whole ‘featuring Pharrell Williams’ thing, because he has one sentence in the entire song. Part of me likes that, because, well, we all know my thoughts on rappers interrupting pop songs, but part of me thinks – what’s the point of him being there? He’s got a writing credit as well, and if he’s just responsible for that bit I can’t help thinking Mika’s got slightly ripped off.

Tom: Perhaps it’s to help Mika break America? Just a theory.

Tim: That would not remotely surprise me. Overall, my feeling is still that the less of Pharrell there is the better, so I’m happy. And it’s song called ‘Celebrate’, with the main line being about the whole world celebrating, so what sort of a miserable bastard wouldn’t be happy?

Flo Rida – Whistle

“That is the worst introduction you’ve ever written. Well done.”

Tom: Wait, this is a few weeks old now. Why this track?

Tim: Well, on Friday, we had a song no-one would ever have thought I liked. On Saturday, we had a song about fellatio. Now, let’s COMBINE THE TWO!

Tom: That is the worst introduction you’ve ever written. Well done.

Tim: Yes, I quite liked it too.

Tim: First, I want to make one thing clear: I hate that I like this song. Tune. Whatever. I still have no time for Flo Rida as a musician. His way of jumping into other people’s songs and ruining them is abhorrent, and the pleasure he takes in yelling out his name I find ridiculous. This, though, finds both those things pleasingly absent, and it replaces them with a cracking tune.

Tom: You know, there’s an art in making whistling sound good on a record – because it’s a sound with very few harmonics, it tends to sound incredibly rough and ear-grating. They haven’t quite managed it here, but they’ve come close – and yes, I’ve got to admit it’s a decent tune.

Tim: Unfortunately, the rapping bits are as disappointing as ever. BUT: they’re less than thirty seconds each, which is manageable, and they have a nice guitar/drum bit underneath them rather than some D&B/dubstep/other awful thing, and there are only two of them, or three if you include the middle eight. The rest of it I like. His singing (such as it is) is listenable enough, and the tune’s light-hearted and catchy.

Tom: Catchy to the extent that I was sure that I’d heard it before on the first listen. I can’t find anyone mentioning him sampling a track, so I think it’s just a very generic “upbeat/happy” tune that sounds like many others. Not bad for a summer hit.

Tim: The final positive thing of note, of course, is that when you strip everything away and get down to the meaning: it’s four minutes of an overweight guy asking for a blowjob. And that’s got to give it some points, surely?

Saturday Flashback: SIRPAUL – Going Down in La-La Land

A tad repetitive, but otherwise worthwhile.

Tim: I know nothing about this artist or track, except that it came from the same compilation album I mentioned last week.

Tom: That’s why we’ve got the readers, Tim: solid research. Oh, wait. Never mind.

Tim: As a track, it’s pretty good – a tad repetitive, but otherwise worthwhile. But what I really want to talk about is the lyrics. Because when I put this on at work, one of my colleagues asked if I knew what they meant, and I had to say, “Not a bloody clue.” So, naturally, a discussion evolved, and at the end of it, there were two main theories. The first was that it was a commentary on social mobility in Los Angeles and the surrounding area; the other (proposed by your truly) was that La-La Land is a club for grown-ups, and this is a song dedicated to fellatio. Any other theories?

Tom: My current working theory is that you’re wrong.

Tim: Hang on, wait a sec… OH. HA! I’M NOT! I’ve done some research, and it turns out that actually (genuinely) it’s a combination of both of those.

Tom: No. No, you’re kidding. There’s no way…

Tim: The song is from a 2011 film of the same name, where the protagonist is an aspiring actor, La-La Land does indeed refer to Los Angeles and Hollywood, and going down refers to what said protagonist is willing to do to get ahead (haha) in his career. So, well done me, sucks to be you.

Tom: Damn it, Tim.

Dot Rotten feat. TMS – Overload

Just play the original Robert Miles version. You can’t beat it. You just can’t.

Tom: Wait, Dot Rotten? That’s not your usual style of music, Tim. What’s going on?

Tim: Well, I woke up to the beginning of this a few days ago.

Tom: Ah, that explains it. God damn it, people. Just play the original Robert Miles version. You can’t beat it. You just can’t.

Tim: My semi-conscious thought process was roughly as follows:

  1. Ooh, lovely tune to wake up to.
  2. Huh, guy singing. Interesting.
  3. Oh, ‘overload’, yes I see, that’s appropriate.
  4. Oh God, rapping, really?
  5. Ah, it’s gone, it’s nice again.
  6. Oh no, here we go agaiOKAY I’M AWAKE LEAVE ME ALONE.

But overall? I actually don’t think it’s all that bad.

Tom: It’s not, but that’s because it’s based on Robert Miles’s Children.

Tim: Exactly. He’s got some decent source material and, in the words of many a TV talent show judge/coach, really made it his own. If it wasn’t for Children in the background I wouldn’t get past thirty seconds of it, mostly because he’s just spouting pointless bollocks about The Man (or the Illuminati, if you believe YouTube commenters) and how life’s meaningless.

Tom: Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Tim: Well, no, and there’s also the fact that he’s adapted his name from a fictional female septuagenarian. As it is, though, I can focus on the music, and not pay any attention to what the words mean.

Tom: If you want that, just listen to the original! I know I’m repeating myself, but… gah! There’s a reason so many people have tried to rip it off over the years – and none of them have succeeded. You wouldn’t get through more than thirty seconds because there’s nothing else there.

Tim: I should rephrase – I wouldn’t get to thirty seconds in, and I certainly wouldn’t get to sixty seconds in. But at that point, I love it. The stuff he’s added on top? Brilliant. His voice? Works great (again, without listening to the words). You may call it sacrilege, but I think that chorus is absolutely fantastic.

Jesse Kaikuranta – Vie Mut Kotiin

I spent the first minute of this hoping that it kicked in.

Tom: An anonymous reader sends this in, from The Voice of Finland contender Jesse Kaikuranta, along with a translation of the lyrics that I’ll add below in the comments. Very thoughtful, but it’s for a reason: “I think Finnish is one of the world’s most beautiful languages,” they add, “especially in his mouth.”

I spent the first minute of this hoping that it kicked in…

Tom: …and it does, but never for long enough, never quite enough.

Tim: Seriously? I think it gets it exactly right.

Tom: It’s a slow tease of a song, too slow, and that left-channel woodwind in the middle-eight is distracting rather than fitting.

Tim: You really think? Because I think it’s just lovely. It’s not often that I’ll go straight back to the beginning of a track after a first hearing, and especially not with a slow song, but this is just, well, lovely.

Tom: But oh, that last chorus. We’ve complained before that a song can start so heavy that it has nowhere to go: well, this goes somewhere wonderful, just not quite for long enough.

Tim: I disagree. It starts weak, sure, bit then when the chorus hits you realise it’s meant to be like that, and that actually it works. It’s all wonderful.

Orion – In The End

That pretty much defines ‘uplifting electronica’.

Tim: I like this, mostly.

Tom: Good grief, that’s a cracking bit of instrumentation. That pretty much defines ‘uplifting electronica’. There’s just so much going on.

Tim: My dad’s told me he can’t stand Florence and the Machine, and previously I’ve always just nodded and said ‘yes dad’ in a rather patronising ‘you’re old and you’re not meant to like it’ way. Now, though, I’m on my way to understanding what he’s talking about, because my word does this voice here grate occasionally.

Tom: I don’t think it’s her voice – she’s the victim of a poor microphone and recording studio.

Tim: You think?

Tom: If I’m right, there’s a high-frequency sound, like air escaping from a balloon, that’s been recorded along with her. Either that or she’s had some kind of tracheotomy, but I think that’s unlikely.

Tim: A tad, yes, so fair enough. She’s a mostly anonymous singer (Orion’s the dance producer who came up with the excellent backing), and those long notes in the chorus that should be beautiful and soaring just make me want to turn it down a bit. Which a real shame, because the tune it’s over is fantastic. Can we get this rerecorded? Or at least a vocal-less version?

Tom: I think the term’s “instrumental”—

Tim: Which I was going for before I realised that technically there aren’t any actual instruments in there, so I thought it would sound a bit odd.

Tom: —but you’re right – it’d be just as good as an additional synth line. Aside from that, though: brilliant.

Sam Sparro – I Wish I Never Met You

A contender for Worst Lyric of 2012.

Tom: Last seen in most of the public’s mind performing “Black and Gold” several years ago. This is off the second album. And it’s already a contender for Worst Lyric of 2012.

Tom: “You had me fiending like a crackhead / I’ll squeeze you out just like a blackhead.” Now there’s a lyric which takes you out of a song if ever there was one.

Tim: That is pretty awful. Also, they spelt “carefree” as two words, which is wrong. WRONG. And “been tryin’a wipe” is an interesting use of an apostrophe/contraction. But you’re right,. the whole blackhead thing steals it.

Tom: It seems mostly by-the-numbers, but here’s an odd statement to make: that’s not the percussion I was expecting. Everything else about it seems to be mostly by-the-numbers, but it’s not the four-on-the-floor I saw coming.

Tim: Perhaps not, but I think it works well enough. All seems to fit with the mood they’ve got going on in that video, really.

Tom: Other than that: well, it’s listenable enough, I suppose?

Tim: More so than Black and Gold was, certainly.

MOMOFOKO – We Know

“It’s…huh. Pretty good. Um.”

Tim: Previously, on Europlop!, we tried to listen to Still Need To Dance but ended up complaining that it was more of a film with a musical backing. Now, they’ve pointed us in the direction of their new track. So what’s the video like?

Tom: For a start, it’s got brief shots of a topless woman, blood and injury, and other occasionally inappropriate things in it, so viewers at work may want to keep this in a background tab.

Tim: Good point. Unless you work in a fishmonger’s, in which case you may use it as a training video.

Tom: Other than that, it’s largely nonsensical.

Tim: Well, full of destruction, which is always fun, but even better than that, it doesn’t interrupt the music! So let’s review that properly.

It’s…huh. Pretty good. Um. Part of me thinks that the bloke shouting/girl chanting combination jars a bit, but part of me thinks it works well. Though to be honest, a larger part of me is somewhat indifferent and reckons that while they’re both decent, it’s the backing music that really stands out here.

Tom: Solid drums and keyboard in the background, true – but that voice is good, too.

Tim: It is, and actually, on a second listen, I want to change my opinion. I now think it’s great, because I’ve got it. The ahh-ah-ahhing works as a nice complement to the backing bit, and the bloke singing over the top should be seen as the main vocal bit. That way, it’s almost a sort of instrumental chorus, and it’s lovely. And also contrasts somewhat with the whole destruction thing going on in the video, which is…interesting?

Tom: I think “interesting” just about sums it up.