Tim: Norway has a flipping brilliant final this year, with a lot of highlights, but sadly we’ve only got time for a few. Let’s start with a hypothetical, though: if you’ve got a song with a piano intro that you’re ‘playing’ and then a big drop, at what point do you, the performer, get up from the piano and start moving around? I ask because, well, I’m fairly surely the answer is ‘much, much sooner than Chris does’.
Tim: Let’s note that even at the start of the pre-chorus he has mostly revealed, with his fist pump, that he’s not actually playing, and that at the beginning of the chorus he almost stands up, giving the game away completely.
Tom: It’s not even a decent piano synth! If it was meant to sound like a grand piano, then maybe all this would make sense: but it just doesn’t. It’s as bad as if he were just noodling aimlessly on a guitar. But he just keeps going!
Tim: So if he’s hanging around still past then, the logical thing would be to stay there until either a big break – middle eight, say, or final chorus – or for the whole song. Not – entirely not – for the barely notable jump into the second pre-chorus. And why, why oh why oh why, would you then return to the piano for the outro? It makes no sense. Absolutely no sense at all.
Tom: I mean, none of this does. The dancers don’t make sense either. And neither does that slightly-wavy falsetto.
Tim: Spoils a somewhat decent Eurovision dance song, really. Eh, well.