“Could you get away with this at the height of disco fever? Sure. Would we still be playing it now? Well.”
Tim: CHRISTMAS TIME!!! Every Christmas album needs to come with a new track, like Kelly’s Wrapped in Red or Leona’s One More Sleep.
Tom: And occasionally they’re even good! But statistically…
Tim: Actually, both of those truly were very good, whatever you’re cruelly trying to imply. And now Kylie brings us this, the sisters’ first collaboration in almost a decade. Who said families always argue at Christmas?
Tom: Bongos. Of course there are bongos at Christmas.
Tim: Yes, you see here’s the thing – this here is a track that wants to be a disco Christmas anthem even after climate change has well and truly taken its toll on the festive season – after all, it’s hardly like Merry Christmas Everyone is particularly accurate any more.
Tom: So the big question: Celsius or Fahrenheit? Because 100C ain’t enough to roast a turkey, but 100F is even a bit low for Australian Christmas.
Tim: Either way, it’s a bit too hot for comfort, and it’s certainly not what anyone wants to imagine. As far as this hanging around to actually make it as an anthem, though, there’s one big question: is disco really the right genre for a festive track? To be honest: I really don’t think so. Yes, there’s a gap in the market (and this may have been written to fill it), but it’s there for a reason.
Tom: Agreed. Could you get away with this in the 1980s, at the height of disco fever? Sure. Would we still be playing it now? Well.
Tim: Sure, people have parties at Christmas, and they want to dance, but they want to dance to tunes they know, and if new tunes are going to be played, they need to blend in. This really, really doesn’t. Sorry, Kylie: much as I might like this as a regular track, it’s just not right for Christmas.