Saturday Flashback: The Darkness – Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End)

Tom: Tim, we should tell our reader about a bit of the behind-the-scenes discussions we’ve had this year. With Christmas Eve falling on a Saturday, we’ve been hunting for a Saturday Flashback that’s suitably… Christmassy enough.

Tim: Such as Sheena Easton’s It’s Christmas All Over The World, my first choice, as it’s perfect for Christmas Eve.

Tom: The trouble is, I’ve got zero Christmas spirit this year. You’ve sent me syrupy Christmas track after syrupy Christmas track, and while I could happily write a couple of hundred words ripping each of them apart, I just can’t bring myself to write anything positive. It’s rare for me to veto a track; to veto two in a row is entirely unheard of; but I killed three in a row here.

Tim: Reader, I’ve tried, I really have. It’s been distressing.

Tom: So I’ve suggested this. Because it’s simple: you can enjoy how Christmassy it is, and the fact that, unlike almost every other Christmas cash-in single, it’s actually pretty good. And I can shout the word “bell end” as loud as possible.

Tom: Merry Christmas, Tim.

Tim: Merry Christmas, Tom.

The Darkness – Open Fire

“Fans are going to love this.”

Tom: I know, modern glam rock ain’t exactly up our usual street. But this is the Darkness. “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” was my university anthem. And there’s a new single, from their first new album.

Tom: So here’s the thing: the Darkness fans are going to love this. This is brilliant glam rock, and the riff sounds a little like the sounds coming from indie-darlings Public Service Broadcasting.

Tim: Maybe the fans will love it, yes, but it’s not really going to go much further, for the same reason their second album didn’t – for most people, it’s too ordinary.

Tom: It’s not going to hit the pop charts for the same reason: it’s not got the quirky, pop-sensibility of their first album. It sounds like rock.

Tim: Hmm, and not the same camp rock with the high pitched vocals that got them the attention in the first place. Harsh as this may sound, to non-rock fans it’s just generic rock music, with not much to distinguish it from the rest.

Tom: But if their plan was to consolidate their existing fans, show people that they’ve still got it, and make the music they want to make: they have absolutely nailed it.

Tim: That, I can’t deny.

The Darkness – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us

I want everything they release to be played loudly in pubs and cheesy clubs

Tom: Yeah, that’s right. It’s a new Darkness single. Is it going to be “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”, or is going to be… well, anything else they’ve released?

Tom: …well, once you get over the dissonance of that introduction, I think it falls safely into the second category.

Tim: Hang on, hang on, hang on a sec – before we go any further, you seem to be implying that I Believe in etc. was the only good song they’ve done. Have you completely forgotten Friday Night? Or Growing On Me? Or Christmas Time?

Tom: Hmm. Okay, I’ll grant you they’re decent tracks – and a damn sight better than anything off the second album – but it’s going to take a lot to reach the heights that their glorious first single reached.

Tim: Fair enough, so let’s continue. Not a fan of this, then?

Tom: It’s a great shame, because I want to like the Darkness, I really do. They’re ridiculous British glam metal, and I want everything they release to be good enough to get played loudly in pubs and cheesy clubs up and down the country. But this isn’t. It’s an album track. A track off their first album, maybe, but still an album track. And with a suitably low-budget video.

Tim: Seemingly made in Microsoft Paint, which is quite an achievement. But I disagree with you about this song, somewhat – I don’t know, maybe I’m just overly nostalgic following a somewhat weird conversation I had quite recently, but this is a decent track.

Tom: And maybe my expectations are just too high.

Tim: I think so. But if you’re right, and it is just an album track, I’m looking forward to hearing the others.