Tinchy Stryder and the Chuckle Brothers – To Me, To You

“Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.”

Tim: What.

Tom: That’s right. Tinchy Stryder and the Chuckle Brothers. On a rap track. For charity. This is going to be…

Tom: …a massive disappointment.

Tim: Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

Tom: There are so many missed opportunities here. Granted, I’m automatically against “faked conversation about making the song” songs, but here it’s even worse than usual.

Tim: It is the one part that made me smile, though, however briefly.

Tom: It’s got one joke. In the whole thing. In fact, it’s not even a joke, it’s just a plot. Where’s the attempt at rapping a verse from Barry or Paul? Where’s some actual lyrics?

Tim: Or any production at all aside from that horrific-after-thirty-seconds-let-alone-four-minutes loopy bit underneath.

Tom: It’s repetitive, it’s lazy, and it’s trying to survive on just “look we got together for charity”, not “look, we made something funny or entertaining for charity”.

Tim: Yeah – I was going to say “Well, they’re basically made their living by reciting ‘to me, to you’,” but now I think about it of course they didn’t, that’s just a catchphrase. There was actual humour, unlike here.

Tom: It’s not “so bad it’s good”, it’s just bad. It’s the half-assed, trivial “sober October” to the actual challenging “charity marathon”. And it could have been so, so much more. That’s the most frustrating part.

Tim: Well, at least they owned up to it in the lyrics – “leave the jokes aside”.

Tom: We’ve established plenty of times before that we’re not letting charity singles slack off just because they’re fundraising. This one shouldn’t either. You hear that, Tinchy? NO SLACKING.

Dionne Bromfield feat. Tinchy Stryder – Spinnin For 2012

If you hear the words “Official Olympic Torch Relay Song”, I’m guessing your reaction would be the same as mine.

Tom: If you hear the words “Official Olympic Torch Relay Song”, I’m guessing your reaction would be the same as mine: automatically cringing.

Tim: And, erm, ‘Spinnin’? Really?

Tom: Now let’s add to that an unnecessary rap bit.

Tim: Well, naturally.

Tom: Can even Dionne Bromfield – her of the incredible neo-Motown voice – save this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5StF0UJ_lI

Tom: …er, well yes, it appears she can.

Tim: Official Tim reaction: ehh.

Tom: I was expecting something a bit more, well, Brittas Empire. Okay, so it’s all worthy, and the video clearly ticks all the ‘approved by the Olympic organisers’ boxes – British car, shots of London, torch images, street dance groups, and so on.

Tim: With the obligatory Union Jack dress. Well, obligatory since a certain girl band arrived.

Tom: I just didn’t expect the song to be good. It’s not going to get anyone dancing in the streets, but equally – and I can’t believe I’m saying this – except for that appalling middle eight, it’s not a national embarrassment.

Tim: I quite like that bit – the whole ‘music is healing’, everybody getting on nicely idea. Makes me realises that we are Great Britain, a GREAT country. Huzzah!

Tinchy Stryder feat. Dappy – Spaceship

“This is going to be hilarious.”

Tim: What.

Tom: First thought when I saw the title and artist? “This is going to be hilarious.”

Tom: One man whose name sounds like a reject from War of the Worlds. One man who wears a ridiculous hat. And their music video is like ‘I’m On A Boat‘, only serious. Guys: the Lonely Island are making fun of you. It’s not something to emulate.

Tim: But…but…where’s the na-na-nai? There are a few na-nas, sure but THIS ISN’T A DAPPY SONG WITHOUT IT.

Tom: I should probably be a bit less sarcastic, because there is genuine talent here. It’s well produced, the backing’s good, and both of them can rap. But when the entire song is “look how rich we are, come worship us”… well, it does tend to make you see them is a less favourable light.

Tim: I’ve got a fair amount of codeine in me as I’m writing this, which may affect my judgement, but: I actually quite like the chorus. There I’ve said it. Now mock me.