Tim: Yes, it’s a song from an advert, and that is precisely why we are discussing it. Because sod the song, I want to talk about the advert.
Tom: Right, well, you can keep me out of that. I’ve been in Australia, remember? Haven’t seen it.
Tim: Well, here it is so you can catch up.
Tim: Now, I said ‘talk’ above, though that should really be replaced with ‘rant’. I’ll get the nice bit out of the way: that song is absolutely lovely, it really is. This is the full version, and it’ll do wonders to calm you down and relax you if you’re like me, and you’ve just watched that advert. BECAUSE IT’S WRONG.
Tom: Oh blimey. Brace yourself, readers, I can see what’s coming here. Tim’s going off on a rant. For the record, I think the song’s a perfectly reasonable cover, and beautifully sung, although I think it’s far too downbeat compared to the original material.
Tim: Okay. What I’m about to say may make me seem like a monster. I’ve heard that the advert makes many people (including my aunt) cry buckets, to whom I say: you’re IDIOTS. Why? Because you’ve SKIPPED OVER THE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS.
He’s a snowman. He’s got a girlfriend. He wants to buy her a present, and goes on a long and arduous journey to do it. Lovely idea. No problem with it at all. The first 78 seconds are sweet, charming, and happy. But THEN WE SEE WHAT HE’S BOUGHT HER. After miles of trekking, he has chosen TO BUY HER A HAT. And A SCARF. And GLOVES. So basically, CLOTHES TO KEEP HER WARM. Except that she, too, like him, IS A SNOWMAN. So basically, SHE’LL MELT. AND DIE. He is KILLING HIS GIRLFRIEND. ACTUALLY MURDERING HER. And we’re supposed to LIKE THAT? Is that how things are now? The spirit of Christmas is all about HOMICIDAL SNOW PEOPLE? FINE. But DON’T GET EMOTIONAL. Unless the emotion is PURE RAGING HATRED, which is entirely appropriate when presented with an EVIL MURDERER.
Tom: Tim there, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll just note that this Power of Love is a hell of a lot better.
Tim: AN EVIL MURDERING BASTARD OF A SNOWMAN.