Tim: What.
Tom: That’s right. Tinchy Stryder and the Chuckle Brothers. On a rap track. For charity. This is going to be…
Tom: …a massive disappointment.
Tim: Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.
Tom: There are so many missed opportunities here. Granted, I’m automatically against “faked conversation about making the song” songs, but here it’s even worse than usual.
Tim: It is the one part that made me smile, though, however briefly.
Tom: It’s got one joke. In the whole thing. In fact, it’s not even a joke, it’s just a plot. Where’s the attempt at rapping a verse from Barry or Paul? Where’s some actual lyrics?
Tim: Or any production at all aside from that horrific-after-thirty-seconds-let-alone-four-minutes loopy bit underneath.
Tom: It’s repetitive, it’s lazy, and it’s trying to survive on just “look we got together for charity”, not “look, we made something funny or entertaining for charity”.
Tim: Yeah – I was going to say “Well, they’re basically made their living by reciting ‘to me, to you’,” but now I think about it of course they didn’t, that’s just a catchphrase. There was actual humour, unlike here.
Tom: It’s not “so bad it’s good”, it’s just bad. It’s the half-assed, trivial “sober October” to the actual challenging “charity marathon”. And it could have been so, so much more. That’s the most frustrating part.
Tim: Well, at least they owned up to it in the lyrics – “leave the jokes aside”.
Tom: We’ve established plenty of times before that we’re not letting charity singles slack off just because they’re fundraising. This one shouldn’t either. You hear that, Tinchy? NO SLACKING.