Tom: Now, Tim, you were over in Canada while this year’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here was on, so you’ll not know who Aggro Santos is. That’s okay – you’re in the same position everyone else was when that show started. He’s now “that bloke who was a bit crap on I’m A Celebrity”.
Tom: The show has actually done his career a bit of good, because now he’s releasing a track that features Kimberley Walsh, better known as “her out of Girls Aloud. No, the other one. No, the other other one.”
Now, it’s hard for me to describe how much I dislike this song.
Tim: Must say, my feelings aren’t far off that. How about we list things we hate instead?
Tom: The way that the start of each chorus makes me think of “Your Song” by Elton John.
Tim: The way the levels at the beginning are set just right so you can’t make out what either of them are saying.
Tom: The half-singing half-rapping.
Tim: The worry they seem to have that we’ll forget the name of the song half way through.
Tom: The bit in the video where he appears to be pointing with interest at her armpit.
Tim: The replacement of the Spanish 7 with sex, but then him actually being speed date numbers 5, 2 and 1.
Tom: And the fact that it’s ripping off Pretty Fly for a White Guy. Come to think of it, the bloody awful lyrics. “Just like you like” technically makes sense, but repeated it starts to grate like an industrial-strength cheese grater.
Tim: Spending quite some time setting up the use of a three course meal as a metaphor for a date and then almost immediately dropping it.
Tom: But here’s the worst part: it’s catchy. The stupid, dancey part of my brain likes it. And it’s stuck in my head.
Tim: Really? I just think it’s crap.