Hanna Stockzell – Bubblegum Dancer

“WHY WASN’T THIS IN THIS YEAR’S EUROVISION?”

Tim: Well, once you’ve seen the song title you don’t really need to hear the song to know what it’s like. Nevertheless, you need to hear this. Your life will not be complete until you have done so.

Tom: It’s as if J-Pop made it over to Sweden. It sounds like the bubblegum Europop groups early in the 2000s – Joga and all that lot. This needs a cutesy dance routine, and some Dance Dance Revolution steps set to it.

Tim: Yes, it does. And a wind machine or twenty. Basically: WHY WASN’T THIS IN THIS YEAR’S EUROVISION SONG CONTEST? IT’S MILES BETTER THAN THAT (previously great but now) CRAPPY ‘POPULAR’ BOLLOCKS.

Tom: Yep, agreed. More like this, please.

Tim: She’s like this decade’s Alice Deejay, but EVEN BETTER. Right from the start it’s just fantastic, and amazing, and wonderful, and there really aren’t enough superlatives in the world to describe this.

Tom: Whoa, hang on. Better than Will I Ever? I mean, she’s good, and that key change is bloody excellent, but do you th—

Tim: ‘I love bubblegum. I love to dance.’ YES. YOU AND ME ARE SOULMATES, HANNA.

Tom: “I love emotions / I love to move / Do you want my love / I want it with you”?

Tim: Still on the codeine, by the way.

Tom: That explains it.