Tim: Alright, three songs in three days.
Tom: Another one to compare to the Sound of Arrows?
Tim: I quite like that, so I don’t want to say anything nasty about it.
Tom: Out of our recent run of sort-of-electropop tracks, I’d say this is probably my favourite. It’s a track that actually makes me sit up and listen – unusual instrumentation, an ethereal voice, and deep bass percussion that keeps my attention on it. More like this, please – although possibly with a better ending.
Tim: Oh, don’t get me wrong – it’s quite good, but to be honest it’s a bit melancholy for the mood I’m now, though, so how about we have a bit of fun instead, with a nice game of PR Bullshit Bingo?
Standards to look for are:
- ruthless over-enthusiasm.
- an intense description of the artist’s almost superhuman abilities.
- words that mean pretty much nothing.
- potentially negative ideas presented as positives.
- ten words when one would do.
- the implication that no-one’s ever done this before.
- the near-certainty that it will win everything.
Anything I’ve missed?
Tom: I think you’ve covered most of it.
Tim: Good good, so let’s see what his Facebook page says: “You know how people talk about uncompromising pop? Duvchi is just that – in it’s purest form. It is passionate and lavish, whilst fragile and unassuming. Boldly arranged tracks meets timeless harmonies and form a space of melancholic warmth that quickly spellbinds and becomes a kind of instant find. Music you could see chart-topping.”
Tom: Crikey, I can’t read that. My eyes keep skipping over it.
Tim: Special, isn’t it? Let’s count up.
I think “uncompromising pop in it’s purest form” satisfies counts 1 and 6, the use of “whilst” immediately brings us 4, “becomes a kind of instant find” answers 3, and in fact that whole middle sentence could be easily be cut by ninety percent, so that’s 5. And, obviously, we’ve got the last at the end. All we’re missing is something like this for item 2 and we’d have a full house, but six out of seven’s not bad.
Tom: Not a bad run at all.
Tim: Actually, scratch that – I’ve just noticed that he also describes himself as “the singing conductor”. HOUSE.