Tim: I don’t really have any introduction for this.
Tom: Fortunately, neither does she.
Tim: This is standard, really. And there’s not a whole lot to say about it. But I like it, so we’re featuring it.
Tom: It’s a very good, country-influenced pop song. (There’s a cry break or two in there.) We’ve said on several occasions that there’s nothing wrong with being formulaic, provided both the formula and the execution are decent – and in this case, they really are.
Tim: True. Some artistic people might spout some crap about how it’s all rubbish if you don’t express your true creativity, to which I say: bollocks. We’ve got a decent enough tune, a good voice (came second in Norwegian Idol 2005), some nice instruments and a triumphant energetic closing bit. All good, really.
Tim: You know, I’m not sure if I really want to discuss this, because this is how the review starts: So, who wants to hear the Finnish version of Justin Bieber sing about skateboarding for three minutes?
Tom: It’s not the most captivating introduction you’ve ever written.
Tim: Figured. Right, we’ve now lost all but three people, but we might as write something for them to read, if they really don’t have anything better to do.
Tom: There are a lot of dislikes on that video.
Tim: Since you’re not as cool as me —
Tom: Watch it.
Tim: Face it. — I should tell you that ‘frontside ollie’ is a skateboarding term, being the thing they do where they jump in the air and spin round so they land facing the other way. Why is he singing about doing a skateboarding trick?
Tom: Could be worse. He could be singing about Olly Murs.
Tim: Well, I don’t know any Finnish, but since you’re also older than me I should tell you that’s it’s totally what we cool kids are into these days, so it’s probably because, being only 13, he’s still scared of girls so he can’t sing about them.
Tim: Oh, blimey, thats something I didn’t need to see in, well, any time of the day actually.
Give him his dues: he can be an actual musician, even if he can’t be bothered to learn the words to one of the most popular songs of the past year, and to be perfectly honest, if I heard this track without knowing anything about the singer I’d hear it as a song by a perfectly competent vocalist, albeit a female one.
The autotuned bit is annoying, Intense repetition of the (let’s be honest) ludicrous title considerably more so, but that aside it’s not all bad.
Tom: I pretty much agree. The sudden English skateboarding vernacular really does break you out of the song, but there’s nothing particularly wrong with it. There’s nothing particularly right with it, but, you know, well done him.
Tim: Taking all that into consideration, my advice to him is this: come back in five years when we can treat you as a respectable human and not feel too guilty writing rude things about you, and I’ll be perfectly happy.
Tim: You’ll remember Caotico from their somewhat grandma-unfriendly collaboration with Tove Styrke last year; this is their second solo single (after earlier-last-year’s ‘Back Of My Head’), and while it’s still probably not something granny would chose to listen to, it does at least stay clear of the whole rather explicitly stated ‘Do me so hard I’ll not know what’s hit me’ theme.
Tom: What an absolutely stunning first few seconds… brought back down to earth afterwards, but still.
Tim: Well, I like this. I’m not entirely sure why – it’s miserable and depressing, and the downbeat voices just serve to emphasise that, but it seems somewhat entrancing.
Tom: Am I right in thinking it has some kind of modern-reggae influence? That backing kept me interested far more than the vocals or the music.
Tim: Yeah, I felt that as well – didn’t keep me distracted, but there’s definitely something.
The video helps a lot with taking away some of the downbeatness, actually – if I heard it on the radio I probaby wouldn’t like it anywhere near as much, but there’s so much weird stuff happening there I can’t not watch with some degree of enthrallment.
My first thought was that he’ll have ruined that suit, and who the hell let that guy in the kitchen, and then Sid from Toy Story has somehow come to life.
Tom: And how mucky is that bathwater? Honestly.
Tim: I know. I blame the parents.
Tom: I’d blame the dodgy takeaway he had the night before.
Tim: Oh, did you have to? Really?
Tom: Yep. Classy humour, here.
Tim: But even despite all that, when they all join together in creating a proper toy apocalypse after Sid finds a phone in one of the dolls (what?), somehow it all fits.
Wouldn’t touch those cupcakes with a bargepole, mind.
Tim: Four blokes and two girls make up this fairly new Swedish band. An unusual composition, perhaps, so let’s see if it works. This is their first single – listen to it, please.
Tom: I assume every comment about the pencil moustache and slicked hair has already been made as a YouTube comment, so I’ll leave it there. The song, though?
Tim: The song, and it does work. Rockier end of pop/rock (can’t everyone just call it pock and be done with it?), but there are definite pop moments in there, especially the nicely done wails just after two minutes and two and a half minutes. Another track, though, where the music doesn’t quite fit the message of the song – the voice has got the desperation of the whole ‘I screwed up and I need you back’ vibe, but the backing seems too upbeat.
Tom: It has a properly soaring middle eight, but I think it works well – it’s possible to be that enthusiastic and still have a somewhat pleading tone to it.
Tim: Well, whatever one thinks, I couldn’t actually care less about it because the backing, along with the vocal, is absolutely fantastic.
Tom: There was so much emotion in that final chorus – that’s the mark of a really very good frontman.
Tim: Not as great in the verse as in the chorus, but that’s to be expected, and if it was there’d be no point to the chorus so actually just ignore this sentence. What you shouldn’t ignore is the song, because, well, like I said, it’s absolutely fantastic, and I look forward to hearing new stuff from these guys in the (hopefully not too distant) future.
She’s going with the “repeat the title endlessly in the backing”, then.
Tim: Gabrielle, previously featured here after producing Ring Meg as an X Factor 7th-placer’s single and Bordet as an X Factor 7th-placer’s follow-up single. This is Inn I Deg (Into You), and I’d call it…
Tom: An X Factor 7th-placer’s third single?
Tim: …an X Factor 7th-placer’s third single, yes, but (a) I’m bored of that, even if three singles from coming 7th is quite impressive and (b) it’s really quite something of a departure from previously.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0FpwiEkRJo
Tim: You see?
Tom: She’s going with the “repeat the title endlessly in the backing”, then. Because that works so well every bloody time it’s used.
Tim: Here we have a very mainstream type of dubstep, and actually rather enjoyable – the voice comes across as a bit aggressive when its got the backing that I’d normally run a mile from, and seems to fit it perfectly.
Tom: I’m sure that dubstep purists – and yes, they exist – would say this doesn’t really count; it’s more like a standard dance beat slowed down with a bit of ‘wubwubwub’ occasionally added behind it. I can’t tell the difference all that well, though, so it’s close enough for me.
Tim: Well, that’s surely how every genre has to start off, before it can be accepted by a large amount of people – gradually work its way in, gently increasing and persuading people that actually, they can cope with it. If they go in too fast, they just get rejected outright – look what Keith Chegwin did for the idea of naked gameshows, for example.
Tom: That analogy worked so well until the very last moment, then it just took a horrific turn.
Tim: The lyrics, as far as I can tell, are about her finally realising that she quite likes the bloke she’s with, and wants to stay with him; I’m not really sure the tone of the music fits with that sort of feeling, but it seems to work – once I’ve heard that vocal, I can’t really imagine anything else as a backing track, and I’m fairly sure that’s a sign of something going well.
Tom: There’s just a bit too much “Inn I Deg” for me.
Tim: There is a CONTROVERSY surrounding this: it was due to be an entry in this year’s Dansk Melodi Grand Prix (yes, it’s tat time of year again)
Tom: Deliberate typo joke, or Freudian slip? You decide.
Tim: Huh. Hmm. Anyway, it had been pushed out on Facebook page briefly last summer, the Eurovision organisers got wind of it and said that broke rules, the Danish guys grudgingly accepted that and now there’ll only be nine songs for them to choose from.
Tom: That is technically a violation: they have to be all-new songs. Harsh, but it’s following the rules.
Tim: But does that matter? Would it have stood a chance of winning? LET’S FIND OUT!*
*Oh, and yes, I know it’s a ridiculous name for an artist, but we’ll just have to live with that.
Tom: My instincts: “middle of the leaderboard”.
Tim: Perhaps. It’s a sort of Kelly Clarkson or Pink type of pop, really, and I like that.
Tom: I do too, but it doesn’t quite seem to reach that – but I can’t put my finger on why. It’s got all the component pieces, but somehow doesn’t quite fit together for me.
Tim: It’s a bit depressing if you listen to the lyrics, but that wouldn’t really have mattered because nobody ever pays attention to the words the first time they hear a track, although the ‘you’re going nowhere’ lyric does stand out a bit, I must concede.
On the other hand, the music’s a good fit for that, and if we’re honest the people of Europe in general do have quite a bit to be a somewhat down about right now*, so maybe it would have worked. OH WELL I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW.
The BBC’s Sound of 2012, often regarded as a load of pap.
Tim: This week, the BBC have been doing their annual ‘Sound of [year]’ thing, and while it’s put together by loads of professional music industry people who should know what they’re on about, it’s often regarded as a load of pap. Last year’s top 5 did have Jessie J and The Vaccines, both of whom had a good year, but also included Clare Maguire (three singles, reaching the dizzying chart heights of 78, 23 and 91), Jamie Woon (67 and 76) and James Blake (39, 136, and four that didn’t chart at all, and that takes effort – even The Churned got to number 94).
Tom: I remember Little Boots being featured there the year before, and she’s still going – but I’m not sure about the rest.
Tim: Well, quite, and this year, they’ve chosen to include these guys, a Swedish duo who met making music for the theatre. Apparently, they’ve ‘been threatening to launch the latest offensive of striking Scandinavian pop on these shores for almost two years’. Well, you’ve got to give them points for effort, I suppose, so here’s their latest track.
Tom: Is that a bit of dubstep backing I hear during the verse? It’s like coriander – I can always taste the stuff if it’s in there, and it rarely improves anything it’s in.
Tim: Except carrot and coriander soup, I find.
Tom: Huh. You’re right, as well. I wonder why that is?
Tim: Thoughts on the song:
It takes far, far too long to do anything, and the verses are almost coma-inducing.
Tom: Yep. The chorus, while good, can’t make up for that lengthy verse.
Tim: That pause 36 seconds in makes me think YouTube has broken.
Tom: I used to hate those when I did student radio. I’d think the playback had failed, and rush to the desk in panic.
Tim: Though on a somewhat positive note, the chorus is vaguely enjoyable. Having said that, when it’s repeated for a full minute at the end it gets boring.
So, harsh as this may be, I think they’ll be lucky if they beat James Blake – at least he’s successful enough to have a Wikipedia page.
Tim: A few months old, but I’ve only just seen it so we’ll pretend it’s new.
Tom: I’ll look the other way if you will.
Tim: That’s very kind of you. Now, if you’ll cast your mind back some distance, you’ll recall that the last time we met these guys, they gave us a slow builder of a song that I liked and you thought sounded too much like Nickelback. And this time, they’ve got cellos!
Tom: Ooh. I do like a good cello.
Tim: But, if we’re honest, not a lot else has changed. The song still builds gradually adding an instrument or two per verse/chorus trasition, although the voice has changed a it – he singer sounds a bit less like he’s about to go out and kill people this time, and more like he’s about to go out and kill himself. I’m not sure that’s a massive improvement, but I can see how it would improve attendance at their live shows.
Tim: Ooh, blimey. Anyway, I would argue that the voice isn’t really all that important – what we have here is a lot of instrumentation, and that deserves to be appreciated. Not a huge amount happens during the first verse, but then when the drums hit for the chorus it steps up a gear (and I kind of had an urge to slap the singer and tell him to liven up a bit).
Tom: A proper, slow-build emotional track. I can get behind that.
Tim: And then with the horns for the closing section, it feels almost triumphant, especially with the flames going up in the background.
Tom: Damn right. That is how you do a Proper Big Track. Pity about the lengthy and useless credits, though. It’s not a film. That’s just silly.
Tim: It is silly, isn’t it? Especially since they will never, ever get watched, because people will scroll away or close the window when the videos finished. Oh well, silly people. Musically, though, I like this, but I’d love an instrumental version.
Tom: I want to do something, backed by this instrumental. I don’t know what it’d be, but I want it to be backed by this instrumental.
Tom: I’m not saying. By the way, don’t ask your mum why she’s got that smile on her face.
Tim: Already have done, actually – she said she’s still smirking from when you were trying to look seductive.
Tim: To be honest, it’s none of his business whatsoever where you were – he’s only asking because he broke up with you, immediately regretted it, and now demands to know your movements of the rest of the evening.
Tom: Well, that’s one of the creepiest second-person sentences I’ve ever read. And I’ve read Rule 34. (Obscure sci-fi literary reference ahoy!)
Tim: Yeah, so actually, don’t feel you have to answer him. Rude bastard. Also weird-looking as well, I think. Wow, get me being all judgmental.
Tom: I was about to say “he looks a little bit like you”, but I think I’ll keep that under my hat for now.
Tim: Hang on, just got to make a phone call.
Yep, she’s still laughing. Now, this is actually a rather good cover of Ankie Bagger’s late-1980s (and very late-1980s-sounding) hit, although it doesn’t contain the somewhat pointless key change of the original (pointless as it comes in about half a second before the song fades out). It’s got everything it needs to be a decent CLUB BANGER etc, and it also has the feeling in the vocals that lyrics like this demand, which almost comes as something of a surprise, really.
Tom: I didn’t have high hopes for this – I thought it’d be another generic club remix of an old song. In a way it is, but you’re right – the vocals do rescue it.
Tim: The song was also covered by Finnish ‘symphonic metal’ (apparently that’s a thing) band Nightwish a while ago as a B-side.
Tom: Symphonic metal is totally a thing. It’s also awesome. In small doses.
Tim: For some reason (and not the soon to be obvious one), that’s actually my favourite version, and so we shall all listen to it now. (If it really isn’t your thing, at least skip to 3:00 and give it fifteen seconds.)
Tom: Oh, that’s just… that’s just better. Although I did try to sing “You Give Love A Bad Name” to the introduction.
Tom: “This is the New Years breaking hit here in Finland!” enthuses an anonymous reader. “Everytime its in radio volume goes up!”
Tom: Hmm. That’s a cracking instrumental that deserves much better vocals.
Tim: Something like that. Certainly is a cracking instrumental.
Tom: “Year of Change” is the title, and while translating the lyrics doesn’t help all that much, it seems to be a generally uplifting song about how the future’s going to be bright. Perfect for the New Year, then. It’s a shame that the lyrics just sound like they’re being phoned in. Put some enthusiasm in, for crying out loud!
Tim: I’m not sure it’s the enthusiasm – I think it’s just that the general tone of the voice doesn’t suit the feeling of the song. The chorus, for example, seems almost a bit military, really. Also, I’m about to say something I don’t think I ever thought I’d say: they should do more with that rapper, because his parts of the verse work better than the rest.
On the other hand, it could be a perfectly appropriate vocal for the song, but we just don’t know as we have next to no knowledge of the Finnish language whatsoever.
Tom: That’s not true. I lived in Helsinki for three months once, and as a result I know “thank you” and at least one swear word. Anyway, translate this, get someone a bit more upbeat on vocal duties, and I reckon this could actually work over here.
