Category: Europop

Beatrice Eli – The Conqueror

Sounds like it’s going to go somewhere.

Tim: Interesting, this one.

Tom: I’m not sure about ‘interesting’, really. When it kicks in, the chorus sounds like it’s going to go somewhere and then… it doesn’t.

Tim: To be honest, I don’t really know what to say about this. I think it’s great–well, pretty good, at least–but I’m not sure how to justify that. Do I need to?

Tom: Well, yes, you do really. Because to me, it’s a lovely voice wasted on a bit of a downbeat, dull tune.

Tim: I mean, the voice is a bit weird, the music’s nothing huge, and yet it fits together nicely. Umm, ethereal? Is that the right word? Sort of, I suppose. OH, I DON’T KNOW. But I like this.

Andremo feat. Coco – Music Is Turning Me On

I started playing this, then got bored

Tim: Coco is formerly of Swedish group Love Generation; Andremo is, erm, not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCKijihn5Pw

Tim: I started playing this, then got bored with it and moved on to doing other stuff.

Tom: You gave it two minutes? Apart from that chorus, it’s all a bit dull.

Tim: No, I got bored after twenty seconds. Two minutes later, though, I thought ooh, this is alright actually. Then I listened to it again and realised I got bored by the awful verse but enjoyed the sung chorus and music.

Tom: It sounds like something that should turn up in the middle of a Clubland compilation CD – you know, the kind of track that’s cheap to license and fills up the running time.

Tim: Something like that, yeah. So OVERALL: okay in the background, perfectly serviceable as a dance tune, but as I see it, nothing particularly great. Ooh, actually, I know what to say to finish this! It’s brilliant!

Tom: Uh-oh.

Tim: I’m going to say this: it certainly (really, it’s clever) wouldn’t TURN ME ON!!! (You see? HILARIOUS.)

Tom: Tim Jeffries, ladies and gentlemen. He’s here all week.

Anniela – Party Crusher

Less repetitive than before?

Tim: Will we find it less repetitive than Elektrisk?

Tim: A bit, yes.

Tom: Only a bit.

Tim: Towards the end it still goes on a bit. Doesn’t help that I’m not entirely certain what a Party Crusher might be, but still. The verses are okay, and there’s a decent tune there. The only problem is that there’s no YEAH moment, and yet I feel this song is crying out for one – whether it be a key change, a sudden return from a quieter middle eight, or even just a loud noise somewhere.

Tom: “Formulaic” can mean good or ill; if the formula’s really good, then there’s nothing wrong with pushing out a track that follows it – heaven knows there are plenty of cracking songs that have little originality to them. But this is just a by-the-numbers album track, and my word if she says ‘party crusher’ one more time…

Tim: Basically, it’s a nice enough song – background of a party, album track, whatever – but a bit uninspiring.

Victoria Dogan & Laurence – God’s Gift to Me

“How cheesy?” “Imagine a fondue the size of a palace.”

Tim: Dear Lord, this is cheesy.

Tom: How cheesy?

Tim: Imagine a fondue the size of a palace, and instead of dipping bread and stuff in it you’re dipping entire bedroom-sized lumps of gruyère. That sort of cheesy.

Tom: Metaphor of the year award, there.

Tim: And you’ll LOVE it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSSWnhRJAno

Tom: Wrong.

Tim: Oh, you do surprise me.

This is a recently-married husband and wife couple, we’re told by e-mailer Simon, which makes it somewhat probable that this is their actual wedding we’re watching; I don’t know whether that’s a great idea for a song like this or just plain creepy.

Tom: That’s one way to get your wedding reception paid for, I suppose, although spending the entire party singing one song while the crew get all the shots they need must have put a bit of dampener on it. (Did they have a crew? Or was the cameraman just a drunk uncle? Apparently the budget didn’t stretch to a jib or making sure the people in the background looked like they were interested.)

Seriously, that bartender in the background is all I can see during those singing-at-each-other shots.

Tim: “I’m sorry, look, I’m trying to do the washing up here, could you please give me a bit of room? Or at least turn off that bloody camera? This really isn’t my best angle, you know.”

Anyway, the music is what matters, I suppose, and to be honest, I’m actually not all keen it. I know this is the same me that fell in love with Destiny by since-then-entirely-unheard-from Play (twelve months ago today, as it happens), but that had something that this doesn’t. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but this is definitely lacking something.

Tom: Inspiration? A video that looks like it has production values? Come on, even Steps managed that, and they were walked down the aisle by their actual, real-life fathers.

Tim: Effort, there. Maybe a better beat to it? More volume in the voice? Something, anyway.

Tom: Let’s put it this way, Tim: I sighed at the key change. I don’t think I’ve ever sighed at a key change before.

Galaxies feat. Haffi Haff – Sex Freak

Ooh, hot and pumping!

Tom: “I think it’s hot and pumping,” says innuendo-laden Europlop reader Lisa. “A bit long for radio but great on the dancefloor.”

Tim: Ooh, hot and pumping! Yes please.

Galaxies ft. Haffi Haff – Sex Freak by Hands Up Music

Tom: I’m always suspicious when we get a fairly unknown track like this submitted – one that has, for instance, only had 43 plays this week. Is “Lisa” really a front for the song’s publicist?

Tim: Now, now, Tom, be nice.

Tom: Lisa is right, of course; it is long for radio, and a bit… well, generic for a club. I can see it getting mixed into the middle of a club set somewhere, but I doubt it’s going to get anyone’s hands in the air.

Tim: Sounds about right. I like that bloke saying ‘Good evening’ randomly in the middle, though – all polite.

Tom: And didn’t mixing in sex-noise samples go out with E-Rotic?

Tim: Oh, God, I’d completely forgotten about them. You know, you’re weird – I’ve told you that, right?

Dex feat. Cille – Walking in the Sun

There’s a sample here you may recognise.

Tim: There’s a sample here you may recognise.

Tom: Never mind that. Who sets their alarm clock for 7:03am?

Tim: Someone who wants to wake up at seven and whose clock is three minutes fast, but thinks it’s too much faff to work out how to change it. (This may or may not be why my alarm goes off at 7:06 each morning. (Really, it does.))

Anyway, the main problem with this tune, as far as I’m concerned, is that sample. You see, it’s a perfectly competent – more than competent, in fact, and I might even say very good – dance tune, and I like it a lot.

Tom: I like it too – and Dex clearly does, since he’s able to provide the kind of DJ dancing that I haven’t seen in a long while. It’s enthusiastic, to say the least.

Tim: BUT, I keep listening out for that little bit of Children. “Will it come back? There was only a bit of it, so it might not. But oh, there’s a bit. When’s it going to be next?”

Tom: “Children” is sampled so much that it’s almost become generic – and that’s a shame, because the original is an absolutely cracking track. But to just put this little short snap of it in? It just seems so bizarre.

Tim: Yeah, and I don’t know if most people will do that, or if it’s just me, but it means I’m so busy listening out for a few particular piano notes that everything else sort of passes me by, and that’s a shame, because this is otherwise an excellent piece of dance music, if perhaps six months early and/or late.

Mischa Daniels & Sandro Monte feat. J-Son – Simple Man

Two dance producers, one previously-heard vocalist, no real surprises.

Tim: Two dance producers, one previously-heard vocalist, no real surprises.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKzKboNTtxI

Tim: Standard robotic voice that we’ve come to expect from ‘this sort’ of musician (if you know what I mean) (i.e. not particularly musical) (i.e. not remotely musical if he doesn’t have his auto-tuner); decent enough tune, at least once he’s shut up and given what for the main synths; anything else to add?

Tom: You missed the standard euphoric build (as wonderfully deconstructed by Brett Domino at the end of this medley) and the standard breakdown in the middle. It’s… well, it’s standard, isn’t it?

Tim: Standard.

Moa Lignell – When I Held Ya

It appears to kick most of this year’s British X Factor contestants into a cocked hat.

Tom: Our regular reader Roger writes: “I have not followed Swedish Idol 2011 closely… if I had I would have sent you this almost a week ago.”

You’ll probably spend the first verse thinking ‘I hope this kicks in a bit more’…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHocCTns8YU

Tom: …and then it does.

So her name is Moa. This is a song she wrote herself. It appears to kick most of this year’s British X Factor contestants into a cocked hat.

Tim: Yes. Although she does appear to be wearing the same trousers as kicked-off-in-sex-and-drug-fuelled-disgrace twat Frankie Cocozza, but I think that says more about him than her.

Tom: It must be quite a feeling, that – writing your own song with just a guitar, and then getting proper producers to add all the instrumentation and professionalism that makes it sound like a pop song. It’s not bouncy, it’s not dancey, but it is really rather tuneful.

Tim: Yeah, it’s nice – gentle sort of stuff, sung and played well enough to safely get you through to next week. Some of the judges scare me, though, but that’s hardly her fault.

Eric Saade feat. Dev – Hotter Than Fire

Genius. Like it.

Tim: Lead single, out now, from Saade, Vol. 2, which comes out at the end of the month, and continues the ‘this is my sound’ dance theme that started with Vol. 1., leaving behind the pop stuff that got him started.

Tom: That starts with a bang. And they sing each other’s name! That’s a bit nicer than, say, Flo Rida just shouting out.

Tim: I like it. Did I prefer Manboy? Perhaps, but I’m getting used to this Eric Saade, and I actually don’t think it’s any bad thing at all.

Tom: I was skeptical this time, but that quiet build into the first chorus? Genius. Like it.

Tim: Good, isn’t it? He’s still got a decent hook, the lyrics are all family-friendly, there’s not a massive use of our good friend the auto-tuner, there’s a nice beat so it’ll go down well in a club, and what with the fairly well-known Dev on-board for this I think this could do rather well.

Tom: Agreed, and I rather hope it does.

Tim: He’s apparently in favour of Hearts in the Air being his first proper international single, which is a perfectly decent choice, but I reckon this ought to be be an excellent second release.

Saturday Flashback: Yelle – Ce Jeu

I can’t tell if it’s 60s, 80s, or modern.

Tim: Friend of the site Ed has demanded that we review this band, suggesting a rap song they did, Je Veux Te Voix, or this one, the video of which has considerably fewer terrifying cast members. So we’re going with this.

https://youtu.be/GxFa9HLdhIY

Tom: That’s… well, I can’t tell if it’s 60s, 80s, or modern. Perhaps that’s just the video’s effect, though. I must thank the numerous YouTube commenters pointing out the brief flash of nipple there. I might have missed it otherwise.

Tim: No doubt the various toys and things in the video would make sense if my French was at a decent enough level to understand this (though I’m not sure anything could justify two dinosaurs mounting each other); musically, though, well, it’s alright. It’s admittedly not what I’d choose to put on a playlist, but I’d be happy hearing it at, say, a house party or something.

Tom: See, I rather like it. It’s happy, bouncy, and even ends on a little whistle.