Mainstream – Page 32

Clean Bandit feat. Louisa Johnson – Tears

“I could see all that doing very well at Eurovision… But then it segues.”

Tom: Our reader, Laura, sends this in, saying that “the build really pays off”.

Tom: She’s not wrong. That build, and the first part of the chorus (“tears on the ground”) are absolutely wonderful, at least in terms of the sort of European pop we talk about.

Tim: Yeah – surprisingly so, really, as it’s not often we hear so-called ‘credible’ artists with songs like that.

Tom: In fact, I could see all that doing very well at Eurovision, and that’s not just because of the flaming instruments. But then it segues — not particularly well — into a drum-and-bass-y section that seems completely out of place. It doesn’t fit the rest, it kills all the energy.

Tim: And there I very much agree with you – we’re back to the ‘credible’ bit (and I hate that word and everything that accompanies it, but that’s a discussion for another day), and it’s nowhere near as much fun.

Tom: Lose those sections, bring back that beautiful first part of the chorus for one last, MASSIVE reprise and you’d have a brilliant track. As it is: not quite.

Justin Timberlake – Can’t Stop The Feeling!

“Could there be a better place for this track than Eurovision?”

Tim: I know it’s a couple of months old, but this kind of slipped me by and I think we should discuss just what a really, really fantastic track it is. For a Euro vibe, remember when actual Justin Timberlake performed at Eurovision?!?!?!

Tim: Because man, what a chorus that is.

Tom: It really is! I wasn’t expecting much at all from a movie tie-in song, but it’s great.

Tim: Normally, I’d complain about a fairly short loop being on heavy repetition even coming out of the middle eight, not to mention actually before it starts – but damn, it’s just so good, I don’t care that it feels too long. Even if the verses weren’t pretty good, even if the instruments underneath weren’t full of such fun and intense vibes, that chorus might still be enough to clinch it. But as it is, it’s an enormous layer of icing on top of an already fairly large musical cake.

And could there be a better place for this track than Eurovision?

Tom: The strange thing is, yes. Because I think it’s a grower. I didn’t really like it the first time I heard it: it just sort of washed over me. Surrounded by so many other songs, it was too much. Hearing it again on its own: yes, this is good.

Tim: Hmm, you may have a point – but think. It comes with an immense party vibes, and OH just look at that aerial shot from 5:20 – there are bigger arenas, vastly bigger – but how many of them come together specifically for a massive party, in pure celebration of pop music? Not many, I’ll wager. Backing that up, and my particular favourite moment in this performance: the look on his face just after 4 minutes in, where he suddenly seems to realises that actually this twee Eurovision thing’s a bit big, isn’t it?

Saturday Flashback: Skylar Grey feat. Eminem – C’mon Let Me Ride

Tom: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride; Skylar Grey’s written a 10x-platinum-selling song and been the guest vocalist on quite a few hits. But she’s never had a big hit herself: and this, her first single from her first album, certainly wasn’t one.

Tim: Okay…

Tom: A few advance warnings: this video is borderline-NSFW. Heck, the audio’s probably NSFW. And more than this is one of the most irritating pop songs I’ve heard in a while. And it interprets a Queen track in a way that’s basically sacrilege. So why have I brought it to you?

Tim: I assume you’ll tell me later, but I’ll humour you first.

Tim: Oh…oh. That’s…somewhat surreal.

Tom: Because of THAT CHORUS. That chorus has been stuck in my head for days. And the bassline that sits under it. Everything about this is good, apart from… well, the important bits.

Tim: Ah, see I hate that baseline. But yep, that chorus is a STONKER.

LeAnn Rimes – The Story

“What do you mean “all those lines across my face”? You’re 33!”

Tom: She’s still going! Her off Can’t Fight The Moonlight and that weird Elton John-Tim Rice Aida musical!

Tim: Really? Huh, okay.

Tom: First of all: what do you mean “all those lines across my face”? You’re 33! This song sounds like it’s written for a 60-year-old.

Tim: Age wise, yes, but she has apparently got sixteen full albums under her belt, so they could be there from all the stress, you never know.

Tom: Mind you, there are a few moments where that vibrato goes a bit too far, and it sounds a bit like it’s being sung by a 60-year-old. And is that obvious autotune I hear (on ‘told’ at 0:25)? I’m not sure.

Tim: I don’t know, sounds fine for me. On a similar line to vibrato, the wobbly violin into the drop seems a bit odd, and possibly contributes to your point there.

Tom: Technical notes aside: that is one hell of a chorus. Less sure about the verses, much less sure about the lyrics, but that is one hell of a chorus.

Tim: Hmmmm…can’t quite bring myself for “hell of a”, but it’s good enough, certainly.

Saturday Flashback: Bonnie Tyler feat. Kareen Antonn – Si demain… (Turn Around)

“Tourner en rond”

Tom: I wonder who first realised that the French expression “tourner en rond”, roughly translated as the idiom “running in circles”, sounds a lot like Bonnie Tyler’s big song?

Tom: Either way, in 2003 this was released. Ten weeks at number one in the French charts. Presumably another big payday for writer Jim Steinman.

Tim: Yes, and possibly for whoever rewrote those English lyrics, because I’m fairly sure no-one ever previously mentioned lying like a child in your arms.

Tom: But I’ve got one question, and it might just ruin this for you.

Tim: Oh, go on then, but only on the condition that I can do the same afterwards.

Tom: …is it me, or does Bonnie Tyler sound a bit like she’s retching quite a bit?

Tim: Yep, there it is. And my main question about this is why, from 1:10, does she start telling Santa to turn around?

Apollo 5 – Too Close To The Sun

“The clap.”

Tim: Second track of this lot, and I’m sorry to have to warn you that they’ve chosen this moment to break out the ukulele.

Tom: And the clap, it would seem. Sorry, the claps.

Tim: And DAMMIT I hate that this song makes me really happy. I HATE ukuleles. I LOATHE the stupid guitar foetus things that make frown men look like they’re giants strumming an ant. I DESPISE everything about them, the fake chirpy optimism they never fail to signify, and the general irritation that a single strum creates in me.

Tom: Mm. See, given this is the second ukulele song in a week where you’ve enjoyed it, I’m starting to question that.

Tim: Well, that brings me on to the most of all: I UTTERLY ABHOR the fact that in many cases…it works. Because I’m listening to this and despite it being the most appallingly twee song we’ve heard in months, especially once you add in the clapping–

Tom: Just call it the Clap.

Tim: I still have a smile on my face. Every time that chorus comes around, I’m smiling like the sodding Cheshire Cat.

Tom: I was about to say “if it’s any consolation, Tim, it pretty much completely unaffects me,” but then it did that bridge on the way back from the middle eight and I found myself quietly nodding my head along with it.

Tim: Bastards, all of them.

Saturday Flashback: Girls Can’t Catch – L.E.S. Artistes

“Actually very good.”

Tim: You may remember this lot from when we wrote about their excellent song Echo several years back; if you’ve a really good memory, you’ll remember that I mentioned that despite them splitting up the album they had recorded was due out sometime soon.

Tom: For once, I do actually remember that — which is a sign of just how good that first track was.

Tim: Well, it never came out. Not officially, anyway – it is, for some reason, available on YouTube via a Brazilian music website, and as this track demonstrates it’s actually very good.

Tim: Isn’t it? The verses are fairly standard, admittedly – say, a Saturdays album track. On the other hand, I really can’t get enough of that chorus, it’s just so lovely.

Tom: Really? Because that chorus also sounds like a Saturdays album track, crossed with Adele’s “Someone Like You”.

Tim: The ending’s perhaps – no, definitely – too drawn out; no-one has ever asked for a basically empty four bar loop repeated for over thirty seconds, but on the other hand: damn, that chorus.

Skyler – I Just Wanna Dance

“I don’t think I’ve ever before heard a track that was audibly doctored on every single note.”

Tim: Way back in February, we reviewed a track that you reacted to with “What the bloody hell is that?” Now, her PR team want to know if we’d like to have a look at this, by another act on their roster.

Tom: Optimistic, aren’t they?

Tim: You could say that, yeah…

Tom: What the bloody hell was that?

Tim: Yep. What I particularly like about that is how after listening all the way through I’m now immune to autotune – I don’t think I’ve ever before heard a track that was audibly doctored on every single note. Quite impressive, really. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot else about it that is impressive – it’s largely generic for all the wrong reasons.

Tom: It took me a while to work out what was wrong with the video: it looks like a parody of a music video that you’d see in a sitcom. No-one seems to know what they’re doing. The style’s a bit off. It’s like a cargo-cult version of a music video. Which, to be honest, is not a bad description for the song either.

Tim: No melody that I want to be singing along to later, or at least not willingly anyway – that’s quite the irritating earworm they’ve got going there. I think, in the end, I’m going to say: thanks, but I might stick with Ulrika for now.

DJ Kenno – Will Grigg’s On Fire

“Thought you’d like it.”

Tim: “The trouble with all football songs is that, ultimately, they’re not Three Lions,” says you. Well.

Tom: Nope. Grimaced and gave up as soon as the vocals started.

Tim: Thought you’d like it. Quick run down: a Wigan fan realised that the name Will Grigg, a player who this season has scored 29 goals for Wigan and is Northern Irish, has a name that fits quite nicely into Gala’s “Freed From Desire”, and uploaded a (since deleted) video of him chanting that to YouTube. That got noticed, a lot, and quickly became the standard chant among the crowds in Wigan and Northern Ireland.

Tom: And it’s a really good, one-chorus football chant. Brilliant. It doesn’t need verses written around it, though, does it?

Tim: Well how else will you pass round the message that he’s on the plane to France? Anyway, now dance group Blonde have released it as a single, not under their usual name for obvious reasons, and is giving the money to a charity set up in honour of a Wigan kid who suffered from something called Non-Ketotic Hyperglycaemia, so isn’t that nice? Clearly something to rival Three Lions, I think you’ll agree.

Tom: It’s not bloody Three Lions.

Ace of Base – All That She Wants (Mowlo Remix)

“All the elements seem to conflict with each other.”

Tim: A couple of months back I posited that tropical house was reaching the end of its life as Kygo moved elsewhere; Ace of Base had other ideas, though, so crack open a can of Lilt and help yourself to a play button.

Tom: Well, at least they haven’t just nicked Kygo’s synth patch. Close, but not quite.

Tim: Twelve moths back the short-lived A*Base covered it; we remarked it was roughly what it would sound like if Ace of Base were recording it now, and you said you might be happier if it got done as an official remix. So, how is it for you?

Tom: Disappointing.

Tim: Oh.

Tom: There’s something about the mix that just doesn’t seem right: all the elements seem to conflict with each other rather than actually making a good track. The vocals were interesting, shifting keys and moods, and the backing just doesn’t follow that. It’s discordant.

Tim: Hmm. See, I don’t really find that – for me, it’s basically a fully decent enough remix of (controversial statement ahead) a song that I always felt was a bit overrated. It had a lot of vocal-less moments and nowhere near enough of an instrumental to liven them up; this fixes both of those issues, binning off 16 seconds of dead air and beefing everything else up. Still not overly enamoured with it as a track, but I’d say it’s a solid improvement on the original.

Tom: I agree that the original wasn’t one of their best — but this isn’t an improvement for me.