Mainstream – Page 35

Little Mix – Secret Love Song

“It’s a builder.”

Tom: It’s a builder.

Tom: “What exotic location are we going to film the new video in?” “That office block next to Tower Bridge.” “Oh.”

Speaking of which, if you’re going to greenscreen Derulo’s prison window — there’s no way an apartment looks like that — at least make it vaguely geographically accurate. Don’t just paste the London Eye in next to Tower Bridge, for crying out loud.

Tim: What’s even weirder is the angle they’ve got the bridge filmed at, making it look as though he’s in some magically floating brick structure right in the middle of the river.

Tom: All of this talk about the video is basically covering for the fact that, while this song should really be everything I like in Big Emotional Pop, most of it leaves me a bit cold. The autotune’s too strong, the middle eight’s poor, and those emotional, quavering notes just sound like they’re trying a bit too hard. The first few lines of the chorus? Great. The rest? Not so much.

Tim: Hmm. It doesn’t help that there are multiple points in there where I want to segue into Love The Way You Lie – tell me you don’t find yourself thinking “just wanna stand there and watch you burn” 26 seconds in – which immediately provides a comparison where this one definitively loses. Regardless, I won’t be as harsh on it as you, because I like all of the chorus, and I’m happy with the big notes. You’re very definitely right about the autotune, though.

One Direction – History

“A Damn Good Final Track.”

Tom: All right, here’s the Big Goodbye single. Here’s the Never Forget. From here, it’s the long road to the ten-year reunion tour, then the fifteen-year reunion tour that Zayn joins them again for. This is what they leave their fans with. This is what’ll bring the tears. And it’s….

Tom: …really good.

Tim: Aye, it’s decent enough.

Tom: I was expecting big, overblown production, but it’s not. That’s really pleasant. Not minimalist, by any means, but they’re letting the voices and the harmonies take it, and there’s a lovely build throughout the song. That bass chord progression could have come straight from fifty years ago, but that’s not a bad thing: this is a Damn Good Final Track.

Tim: Yep: lyrics say it all, really, especially that middle eight which is really something. That video is what really works for me, mind – I like how they didn’t cut Zayn out of any of it, just showed all the triumphs of these past few years.

Tom: And that video outro, with all four walking in different directions? That’s what’ll bring the tears.

Tim: You say that, but I reckon that wall finished six inches outside the camera shot and they’re turning behind it immediately to an open bar.

Tom: Really not sure about Liam’s hat, though. Or is that Louis? I still can’t tell them apart.

Tim: Liam. I’ll print something out for you.

ZAYN – PILLOWTALK

“I was all ready to pan it for for being too quiet and too uninspired, and then that chorus happened.”

Tom: Yep, he’s just “ZAYN” now. Which is fair, ‘cos I don’t think there’s a more famous Zayn out there.

Tim: Though apparently he’s not quite confident enough not to shout his name, and the track, and probably many other things.

Tom: Well, that’s about as modern a track as you can get.

Tim: And indeed pretty much along the lines of what everybody assumed he’d come out with.

Tom: Downbeat production that sounds like Bieber’s latest album, with either a little bit of autotune or a bit of a vocal filter. Occasional bit of swearing so it’s edgy. All one amorphous mass of noise. I was all ready to end it there, to pan it for for being too quiet and too uninspired, and then that chorus happened.

Tim: Yes, that’s one to mention. It’s odd – he left One Direction because he said he didn’t like the music they were making, and yet that’s a chorus that’s not hard to imagine coming from a modern One Direction album. But sorry, you were saying.

Tom: It’s almost like they got the spirit of Phil Collins and his big gated drums in, and just said “right, make it sound big again”. Actually, given that video, it’s a bit like they got the spirit of Phil Collins’ video editor in, and gave him some more modern technology.

It’s not a big singalong chorus, but I’m also sure it’s not meant to be. This is the future. Tomorrow, let’s talk about History.

Tim: AHH, I see what you did there. Nice.

Pet Shop Boys – Inner Sanctum

“So much more there than your standard term of ‘pop song’ can possibly encapsulate.”

Tom: Drop everything there’s a new Pet Shop Boys single and it’s a BANGER.

Tom: Seriously, I wasn’t expecting that. They’ve had some good tracks on recent albums, but they’ve all been a lot calmer than this. This sounds like one of the really good remixes that ends up being relegated to a “digital-only presale” because it’s not what you expect from them.

Tim: Hmm – it says something that it isn’t billed as the first single – that’s coming shortly, apparently. But I think here we’re back to the composers issue, because this is a piece of music more than anything else. Yes, it’s a piece of music that at times is very, very close to a track by either Sash or Faithless (can’t quite place it now; it’s one of those two), and it’s a piece of music that doesn’t need quite such a lengthy intro, but still there’s so much more there than your standard term of ‘pop song’ can possibly encapsulate.

Tom: Yes, it builds a bit slowly, yes, I think I’d prefer it if it kicked into that final-chorus mode a lot earlier and went even BIGGER for the end, but it’ll do nicely. I’m marking this down as “floor-filler” and looking forward to the album.

Tim: And the Royal Albert Hall, because if the new stuff’s half as good as this then that £35 each will be a BARGAIN.

Bonnie McKee – Wasted Youth

“I’m a sucker for that sort of washed-out retro Americana.”

Tom: Well-known songwriter, less-known singer. We’ve talked about her once before and been impressed: this is her new one. And advance warning: while nothing there is technically NSFW, this is certainly a video that would make your boss (or your mother) ask some questions.

Tom: And I really like that song. But here’s the catch: I think that video made me like the song a lot more than I would have done otherwise. I’m a sucker for that sort of washed-out retro Americana…

Tim: With a weirdly atemporal stack of Red Bull cans, which stuck out a bit, but yeah.

Tom: …and yes, I’m often a sucker for almost-nudity in music videos, particularly when it’s filmed like that. So I listened again with the music in a background tab, and I’ll admit I wasn’t as convinced. Because this is basically a slower, female version of Live While We’re Young, isn’t it?

Tim: Message wise yes – the closing line of the chorus “get it while we’re young” makes that fairly clear.

Tom: And sadly, it’s not quite as good: that’s a decent chorus, but it’s a bit too repetitive and there’s not quite enough there to make it work.

Tim: That’s pretty much exactly my thought – decent enough chorus, but after hearing it that’s what I can remember, and I seem to remember hearing it a lot of times.

Tom: But there is almost-nudity, and apparently that’s almost as good.

Tim: Well, I’ll let you have that.

Snakehips ft. Tinashe & Chance The Rapper – All My Friends

“That is a really good chorus”

Tim: It’s a common occurrence – you’re not paying much attention to the radio, but you hear a song and think ‘this is great’, so you Shazam it to check it out later, and then you realise with a sigh of disappointment that it was actually just a really good chorus.

Tim: So, let’s be fair, that is a really good chorus – certainly quite an attention grabbing one, especially if you pay a bit more attention and see that’s a song basically bemoaning the constant presence of alcohol and drugs on a night out.

Tom: Yep, spot on. The base instrumental in the verses isn’t bad either.

Tim: The rest of it, though? Well, I’ll take it or leave it.

Tom: Despite our general dislike for rap bits, I’ve got to admit I quite like the flow that Chance has there: it’s smart and it’s complex, and it doesn’t sound like every other interchangable middle-eight rapper out there. Weird, weird censorship though — an obnoxious bleep for “xan”, a drug reference to Xanax, but uncensored n-bombs a few lines later. How very strange. Take it or leave it, maybe, but I’ll take most of this. You?

Tim: Probably leave it, though I won’t complain if it comes on again.

Taylor Swift – Out of the Woods

“The best track (don’t argue, it is)”

Tom: So the record label’s finally got around to making the best track (don’t argue, it is) from 1989 a single, and the big-budget music video has just been released.

Tim: I won’t argue, but I will give a quick context note: this is another that is generally believed to be about her and Harry Styles; she’s not denied that, but said the relevant relationship was had “anxiety coursing through it” due to “every single person in the media thinking they could draw up the narrative of what we were going through”. So, probably.

Tom: Shot in New Zealand, like Lord of the Rings. Ridiculous budget, like Lord of the Rings. Impressive CGI, like Lord of the Rings. No coherent plot, like… well, never mind.

Tim: Binning off the snark for a moment (sorry): beautiful looking, like, yeah.

Tom: But here’s my point: 1989 is an album from 2014. It’s 15 months old. And new video releases still get massive publicity, millions of views in the first day, and — crucially — this isn’t an album track. This could have been the lead single. 1989 really is a spectacular album.

Tim: It is, and it’s no surprise that this was the initial promo track for the album. The chorus alone sums it up, and your attitude to the song will likely rest solely on that: high speed, high intensity, hefty on the shove-it-down-your-throat message. If you like the chorus, you’ll like the song. If you don’t like the chorus, there’s something wrong with you.

The Vamps – Rest Your Love

“Congratulations on your fortuitous circumstances”

Tim: Less than two months since their last, but here’s the second track from the album; very much as enjoyable as the last, I think you’ll find.

Tim: So by my reckoning, now that The Hiatus is on, and until Busted put out new stuff (GET ON WITH IT WE ARE WAITING), these guys are pretty much the only thing going on, boyband-wise.

Tom: Wait, really? I… huh. I hadn’t realised that. Maybe 5 Seconds of Summer, even though they’re claiming they’re pop-punk? You’re right, though.

Tim: The reason I point this out? Simple: it means they get the dream team of Rami Yacoub, Carl Falk and Savan Kotecha writing tracks like this for them, and my word do they know what to do with them.

Tom: Huh. We’ve both got a completely different reaction to this track. Yep, the later choruses aren’t bad, but I’d file this under “album track”. What do you like so far?

Tim: It’s a whole lot of fun, exactly as it should be, with exactly the right balance of singing and shouting, and a very good number of woah-oh-oh-ings going on in the background.

Tom: When you put it like that: yes, I can see how it ticks all the boxes. But for me, at least, that’s all it does.

Tim: Well, TOP MARKS FROM ME, guys, and either way, congratulations on the fortuitous circumstances you currently find yourselves in.

Sia – Cheap Thrills

“My first thought was kazoo”

Tom: Our reader, Russell, sends this in, adding: “The song takes a break from Sia’s typical soulful vocals and meaningful lyrics – this song focusses on fun and partying. Perhaps it could be pandering to the general population, but even if it is, I still like it.”

Tom: Mm. There’s a good song somewhere in here, but I think it’s drowned out by an instrumentation choice that sounds like an insect trapped in a bottle. (Synth? Modified vocal? Lesser-known instrument? No idea.)

Tim: Yeah, that is weird – my first thought was kazoo, however unlikely that might be. Mind you, if this face is what Sia’s been hiding from us all these years, then relative likelihood goes out of the window.

Tom: And it doesn’t help that some of the melody — coincidentally, given the timing — is uncomfortably close to the verse in Ariana Grande’s latest.

Tim: RUNNING OUT OF MUSIC, Tom.

Tom: “I love cheap thrills” is a pretty good shoutalong chant; the melody’s pretty good; the vocals are, of course, great. But the whole package just isn’t up to much.

Tim: Nope – and with both Bang My Head and Alive still doing the rounds on radio stations, this really doesn’t stick out that well.

Little Mix – Love Me Like You (Christmas Mix)

“Pretty much the lowest-effort remix possible”

Tim: Here’s a recipe for you: take one of the best pop choruses of the year (albeit one that could probably do with being sped up 10% or so); blend together with a flavouring of extra jingliness to complement that which is already there; gently fold in some chiming bells; place on various music platforms and wait for the festivities to commence.

Tom: Ah! And presumably that’s a recipe for a “cash-in”.

Tim: Did anyone ask for this? Not really, but I don’t care, because it’s utterly ridiculous and it’s got me somewhere between giggling stupidly and feeling very very Christmassy.

Tom: It’s utterly unnecessary, but considering it’s pretty much the lowest-effort remix possible and it’ll make its money back with Christmas party DJs buying it to throw into their mix for late-December… well, it’ll do. And to be fair, the original track stands up well on tis own anyway.

Tim: I’ll be honest, I’ll be surprised if this manages on its own to break down anybody’s humbug wall, because it’s somewhat pointless – one could argue, probably successfully, that it’s mostly designed just to fit on that many more Christmas party playlists. I can’t think of any other reason for it; on the other hand, it’s gone straight on my Christmas party playlist.