Category: Mainstream

Justin Bieber – Love Yourself

“Right then: my name is Tim and I’m a Belieber.”

Tim: Okay, so, there’s a thing, you see. It’s something I’ve, er, come to realise about myself. It’s been a difficult process, coming to terms with it, accepting myself for it, and I’m hoping people will be okay with it. Basically…well, the thing is…right, I’m just going to say it. Now. This moment. Well, after this.

Tim: Right then: my name is Tim and I’m a Belieber.

Tom: Let me guess: and then you saw his face? Anyway. Why are you suddenly a fan?

Tim: If anyone had suggested that I’d be saying that as little as two months ago, I’d have said absolutely not. A year ago, I’d probably have told them to go love themselves, but I’m fairly sure that right here and now is the moment where Justin finally (if he hasn’t already) exposes himself as an actual musical talent with depth, skill and personality.

Tom: Mm. It’s not a bad track, I’ll grant you that — and it’s certainly a cut above what you’d expect given his reputation of recent years, or less recent years. I’ve said for a long time that he’s a good musician — I just didn’t like the music. And this is… well, it’s okay, I guess. Why does it work for you?

With such minimal instrumentation in the background, this shows one hell of a raw side to him that I think even his biggest fans haven’t seen before – it’s apparently written about a particular person, but unlike Taylor Swift, he ain’t saying.

Tom: Mm. Unfortunately, that minimal instrumentation isn’t quite enough for me: it’s good, I know it’s good — and I should mention that video, because those dancers are wonderful — but it’s just not enough of a pop song to make me want to hear it again.

Tim: All in all, I am a big fan of this Justin than we’re seeing at the moment. A proper human being, a very good musician with songwriting talent and vocal skills, and great tracks to present himself with. Also, “my mama don’t like you and she likes everyone” is one of the best burns I’ve heard in a long, long time, so well done for that as well.

PSY – Napal Baji

“That is FLAWLESS modern funk-disco pop.”

Tom: No, this is not his big new song.

Tim: Good, because that one’s almost entirely terrible.

Tom: This is his other new song. I don’t know why he’s released two singles at the same time, but he has. And yes, the other one might be getting the press because it’s weird and what the Western world expects from him, but this track? It’s much better.

Tim: Okay. Anything else?

Tom: All you need to know is that “napal baji” means “flares”. As in, trousers.

Tim: Oh that really is much better.

Tom: That is FLAWLESS modern funk-disco pop. That backing guiat riff is straight from Daft Punk. That first verse has an “Uptown Funk” rhythm to it. And yes, that’s because they’re all drawing off the same influences from decades ago and updating them — but it’s so rare to hear it done this well.

Tim: Do you know, halfway through I started thinking “this’d be a really good Fleur East song” – obviously you’d need different lyrics and a few other tweaks here and there, but it’d fit very well stylistically, and be a damn sight less annoying than Sax.

Tom: Plus, an incredibly high-budget music video helps. This doesn’t deserve to be overshadowed by the “ha, the Gangnam Style guy’s done another weird song” — this is just a great track.

Saturday Flashback: Matt Willis – Crash

“It deserves to be fast”

Tim: For all the celebrations there have been about Busted returning, it’s easy to think that nothing happened during the break up period, but that is totally not the case. Matt, for example, had three top 20 singles; this wasn’t one of them, but it should be been.

Tom: Several thoughts: first, that’s a minimal-effort single cover if ever there was one. 2007 — that’d be just after bottom had fallen out of the singles market, so this’d be one of the last singles to have a proper CD release, I’ll bet.

Tim: It’s a cover of the 1988 song by The Primitives, which is, it pains me to say, actually quite a bit more interesting with more variety in the instrumental.

Tom: Yep, that original is a classic, and I’ll be honest: it’s going to be extremely difficult to beat. But it’s a bloody good effort.

Tim: It’s not, however, quite as heavy as this, which, to me at least, means it doesn’t appear as fast as this (even though they’re both going at an amazing 170BPM). And that’s where this song shines in comparison – it deserves to be fast, the first lyric is about going too fast, and if it was too slow the (oh, so) repetitive lyrics in that fade out would quickly get very, very tiresome. As it is, it’s very enjoyable, and while I might complain normally about the fade-out anyway, if the original authors couldn’t work out how to finish it properly then I won’t hold it against Matt. WELL DONE to everybody involved.

Apollo 5 – Famous

“They should have dressed up as chickens.”

Tim: I feel like I write this at least every six, but: new Swedish boyband for you.

Tom: With a name that’s not googlable at the moment. They should have dressed up as chickens instead and called it… Pollo 5.

Tim: I feel I should do something violent with my hands…it’s either clap or slap, I’m not sure which.

But as ever, we’ll save the names for if and when the second track arrives, because there’s no point putting effort in unnecessarily, but here’s the debut track for now.

Tim: Though despite all my snark at the top, this is a perfectly decent track to launch a career off.

Tom: Mm. The thing is “perfectly decent” isn’t enough. McFly had 5 Colours; One Direction had What Makes You Beautiful. This isn’t in that league. This isn’t anywhere near that league. This is barely playing three leagues down — well, you know, that metaphor’s gone far enough now.

That said: these guys appear to be using the modern “slow launch on YouTube” approach, rather than the “splashy first single and marketing” approach, so who knows?

Tim: There’s not that much interesting to be said about it, to be honest – standard verse, decent chorus, happy fare at the end with optimism throughout.

Tom: Whoa, optimism? We got a completely different feeling off the track. This sounds melancholy and lonely to me: it’s a post-breakup song with an air of “screw you” to it.

Tim: Oh, yes, it has a massive air of “screw you”, but it’s an air given from a higher place, looking down with an almost gloating “I’m amazing, sucks to be you” vibe, especially with that “I know, I know, I know, I know, you’ll never do better” line. It’s an incredibly harsh and dickish form of optimism, but it’s definitely there.

And an album of this calibre would be entirely welcome. Let’s hope I do get to introduce them properly.

Justin Bieber – Sorry

“I suspect his PR machine’s worked better on you than it has on me.”

Tom: Oh crikey, is this the Apology Track off the Apology Album?

Tim: Well, look. Now, I detest the entire concept of guilty pleasures. As far as I’m concerned, people should be free to like whatever the hell they like and not care what other people think. Nonetheless, I am JUDGING MYSELF and I DO NOT LIKE ME for really, really liking this song.

Tom: A video that doesn’t star him. That’s an interesting choice, certainly. Why do you like it, so much?

Tim: It’s a number of things, really: partly it’s the “oo-oo-oo-oo-o-ooh” in the background that just won’t leave my head; partly it’s the catchy, melodic and memorable chorus; it may also be that I’ve recently started thinking of him a whole lot more favourably after reading this i-D interview and watching his Carpool Karaoke.

Tom: People do change, that’s true: perhaps he has grown up.

Tim: I was never a Bieber-hater, mind—much as he was a total bellend for a good amount of time, who wouldn’t be after the controlled and manufactured teenage life he had?—but suddenly I think of him as an actual person, and now this song has some emotional depth to it. Is it just that I’ve heard it so much that it’s penetrated my head and won’t leave? Possibly, but I think it’s more that’s a really good song, really well-performed.

Tom: Hmm. It’s okay, I guess? But I suspect his PR machine’s worked better on you than it has on me: yes, that oo-oo-ooh is good, but I just don’t find it all that catchy. It’s not together enough, it’s not “full” enough, it’s not… enough. Just like the apology, I guess.

Tim: Basically, in summation: I don’t like the genre, I’ve not liked any of his previous tracks, but dammit, I really, really like this.

Hurts – Wings

“Oh my.”

Tim: New one up from the very excellent Surrender album; music kicks off fifty seconds in if you don’t want any faff.

Tom: Oh my.

Tim: Well, indeed. Query: do people do campaigns for artists to do James Bond songs? I know we’ve only just had the last one, but assuming Hurts are still on in a few years’ time can we get them doing it please? Because this music is just so, so powerful, and when you think of the possibilities that are just so much more than the wanky tripe that Sam Smith brought out, it saddens me that their only cinematic exposure was in a German film from 2013.

Tom: You know, I think it’s the percussion that makes this stands out. Yes, those piano chords in the middle eight are just beautiful; yes, the vocals are excellent as ever. But there’s something done really well in the production here: something that makes that really simple bass-and-clap pattern into the bedrock of everything that’s in here.

Tim: Lyrically, that chorus just conjures up some beautiful images, even if it isn’t particularly subtle and doesn’t really match up with the video in any way at all, and it just one that after hearing a couple of times I just want to sing out very, very loudly. Musically, well, like I’ve said, it’s about the power. It’s exactly as strong as what we’ve come to expect from Hurts – perhaps even more so – and I’m just so, so happy they went back to the sound of their first album for this one. It’s just glorious, all over.

Tom: Especially that final chorus.

Saturday Flashback: Busted – Hurra Hurra Die Schule Brennt

“HURRA HURRA SIE SIND ZURÜCK!”

Tim: BUSTED ARE PROPERLY BACK!!! So let’s take a trip back, shall we, with this track, whose translates to “Hooray, Hooray, The School Is Burning”?

Tom: I… haven’t heard of this one? Mind you, I don’t think I’ve heard of most of Busted’s tracks.

Tim: Well, to be honest, I’d be astounded if you had heard of it. An explanation, then: this is one of the few covers they ever released, originally a 1981 track by German punk band Extrabreit. Busted got hold of it, translated it pretty accurately, and then, for reasons lost in the midsts of time, released it in Germany, Austria and Switzerland instead of You Said No, which the rest of the world got. It didn’t stay there, of course – fans elsewhere got wind of it and duly loved it, and it was then stuck as a B-side to Crashed The Wedding. (Whether or not German speakers got You Said No as their B-side is also unknown.)

Tom: This is actually pretty damn good. I wasn’t expecting that. As their sort-of-pop-punk goes, it’s a really strong track.

Tim: I think the look on the janitor’s face at the end says everything that needs to be said about this track, and his immediate inspiration to Busted-jump around with his broom. God, I’ve missed it. HURRA HURRA SIE SIND ZURÜCK!

Fleur East – Sax

Tim: She might not have been the winner of X Factor last year, but given that she is basically responsible for Uptown Funk existing in the UK, history may well be on her side.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBRH4mFODwM

Tom: Before we go any further: who’s that unimpressed bald man at 0:33? A security guard? A spurned non-sax player? We may never know.

Tim: HAHAHA, and suddenly that’s the most entertaining part of the whole thing.

But for all the rest of it, we have Fleur cementing her position alongside JLS, Olly Murs and One Direction as an X Factor non-winner who is going to succeed. This is a woman who knows without a shadow of a doubt that the stage is hers, the song is hers and the future is hers for the taking.

Tom: Agreed: you want to talk about the “X Factor”? It’s right there. That big, held note in the middle eight is brilliant.

Tim: Name checking herself in the lyrics, the look on her face after she’s been thrown in the air and the enormous amount of vigour that’s thrown into the dancing in the final section – it’s all confidence, and it’s all warranted.

Tom: Apart from the fact that the track is terrible.

Tim: Oh, please. Seriously? It’s a great track (aside from the fact that it’s called Sax but it’s the trumpets that get all the glory, and admittedly I have no idea why a relationship might depend upon saxophone skills) and a great performance.

Tom: The trumpets is one of the things that irks me, sure, but the basic concept and the style would be considered a bit dated ten years ago. Five years ago, Mr Saxobeat just about got away with it. But really? “You’ve got to play that sax”? I’ll grant you the “run it back” line is catchy, but it just seems a bit… weird.

Tim: Lyrics, fine, but you surely not comparing this to Mr Saxobeat? That was a summer dance track, a gimmicky loop repeated, a novelty track. Whereas this, well, you do remember Uptown Funk, right? And how it was absolutely everywhere? This takes a whole load of inspiration from that, sticks some great up to date female vocals on top (that pre-chorus is bang on) and all adds up to one hell of an introductory track.

How much more do you need to kickstart a career?

Tom: Ask me again later when the chart comes out. If this beats Ben Haenow, I’ll be disappointed.

Tim: Time of writing, iTunes has Fleur at 2 and Ben at 18. I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

Kylie Minogue feat. James Corden – Only You

“On hearing it, I’ve got to say: why not?”

Tim: Tom! Would you like to hear a doesn’t-actually-mention-Christmas-so-I’m-not-breaking-any-rules track from Kylie’s upcoming Christmas album, FEATURING JAMES CORDEN?

Tom: Um… I don’t know. I guess?

Tim: Good, because you’re going to.

Tim: And…huh. Turns out the host of The Late Late Show and star of Lesbian Vampire Killers has a surprisingly good voice.

Tom: Didn’t you know? He’s had leading man roles before.

Tim: Huh, I did not know that. The generally accepted story behind this seems to be that it was going to be a jokey bonus track stuck on the end, but it turned out so well that it suddenly became the actual lead single. And, on hearing it, I’ve got to say: why not? Because that’s a perfectly decent cover. True, we probably don’t need another version of it, but on hearing it I was genuinely pleasantly surprised.

Tom: And it’s the right time of year, with Corden providing a boost to the right audience. At only three minutes, it’s not even too long for a song like this.

Tim: Full album’s out on Friday, and while it doesn’t feature any other comedians, it does feature her first collaboration with sister Dannii since 2008, so WOW to that, and here’s to Christmas six weeks early!

Taylor Swift – Wildest Dreams

“It’s pleasant and enjoyable to listen to, and it certainly keeps people coming back for more.”

Tim: Fifth(!) single from 1989 but it still got top 5 in America a couple of months back, and now it’s getting a push over here – latest from Tay-Tay (a better nickname than Jeppo?).

Tim: And BOOM, DECONSTRUCTION, for all the snarky arseholes who were about to say “no, she never went within 200 miles of a lion there”, so nicely played Taylor. In other news; nice track, and a whole lot more pleasant to listen to than Bad Blood was.

Tom: Having listened to 1989 a few times, I started out by writing “and she’s starting to get to the weak tracks”. But on reflection…

Tim: Well indeed – the main question is: is it clear that it’s a fifth single? Was it released just to get more cash or because it’s a great track? I’m guessing: bit of both. It’s pleasant and enjoyable to listen to, and it certainly keeps people coming back for more.

Tom: And, heck, if you’re still touring, and you can still get airplay: well, why not? It doesn’t feel overstretched, which is a sign of just how good an album 1989 is.

Tim: It does, though, serve as a reminder that the whole 1989 campaign started almost two years ago now, even if the album itself is only a year old, so it kind of gets me thinking: NEW STUFF I WANT MORE. And that’s never a bad thing for people to say of an artist. Unless you’re Rihanna, in which case it’s getting really rather tired by now.