Mainstream – Page 66

East 17 – Counting Clouds

They’re going to Walk on a Beach. MOODILY.

Tom: As I said last time we talked about an East 17 track: it’s not a reunion. But it is without Brian, which is a bit like Take That without Gary Barlow. Only, you know, not quite as popular.

And now: they’re going to Walk on a Beach. MOODILY.

Tim: My word, that is moody walking.

Tom: Other than rhyming “song”, “song”, and “sung” in the pre-chorus, I’ve got very few complaints about this. It’s a textbook East 17 ballad, and I can see it climbing the charts if it had come out about fifteen years ago.

Tim: If…if. Big word, that.

Tom: By the end of each chorus, I find myself wanting it to kick in a bit more – like there’s so much potential waiting to burst out – and then it does, a little stronger each time.

Tim: I was thinking exactly the same – the second chorus almost had it, but not quite.

Tom: It takes a long time to work its way up to that final chorus, but it’s worth it when it finally hits.

Tim: It really is. SWAY THOSE ARMS, people.

Tom: As for that moody electric guitar middle eight: man, I hadn’t even realised I was missing that part of the 90s. I feel like I should be playing with Pogs or something.

Tim: No, Tamagotchi’s where it’s at, mate.

Saturday Flashback: Erasure – Love To Hate You

Everything about this is brilliant.

Tom: As regular readers may remember, I’m in Australia for most of this month. I was meant to be reporting back about Australian pop music, but since it’s basically identical to the UK (as I write this, “Gangnam Style” is number one) there’s not much to tell.

Tim: You know, if this was a serious site we could have a talk about globalisation and why it applies to some tracks and not others and oh God, I’m bored already, so let’s move on.

Tom: Instead, here’s an absolutely amazing 1991 single from British synthpop duo Erasure, that I first heard last time I was in Australia. Close enough.

Tom: Everything about this is brilliant. The subtle sample (or “blatant rip-off”) of I Will Survive. The nonsensical lyrics. The disco beat.

Tim: That is brilliant – especially the sample.

Tom: And the video: oh my, the video. It’s like they had a hundred brightly-coloured ideas and said “screw it, put them all in”.

Tim: I particularly like the sweater he’s wearing in the flat that looks like they’ve shorn a sheep, gathered it all up and thought “this is what clothing’s made of, right? Let’s just wear it as it comes, then.”

Tom: One of you dancing in a wetsuit while the other looks on like a Michael Stipe impersonator? Sure. Do it. Give us another chorus.

Amelia Lily – Shut Up (And Give Me Whatever You Got)

Wow, what a BANGER it is.

Tim: There are parts of this that I can’t help feeling were written purely to satisfy the producers of this video.

Tim: I’M DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Tom: Pedantry: It should be “DYIIIIIIING”, but yes, that’s a nice technique they’re using.

Tim: And the sound’ll do nicely, although if I’m honest that does get a bit tedious and annoying towards the end (the sung bit, that is). But that’s my only real criticism of the track, because wow what a BANGER it is.

Tom: Oh good – from your starting sentence, I thought you disliked it, and I was gearing up to disagree with you vehemently. This track pretty much demands that everyone get to the dance floor immediately.

Tim: It is LOUD, it is ANGRY, and, yes, it DEMANDS your attention, whether as a listener or as a crap boyfriend. I like that in a song, so good work Amelia, and everyone else involved because let’s be honest all she probably did was pretty much turn up and do what she was told.

Tom: Harsh, but probably true. Cracking track, though.

McFly – Love Is Easy

The word you’re looking for is “twee”

Tim: Here’s a video that will appeal to ukulele fans and ornithologists alike. And that’s not a sentence I ever imagined myself writing.

Tom: Man, even I can’t come up with a ukulele-ornithology pun.

Tim: And what a lovely track that is. Gentle, reassuring, calming, friendly and above all happy. I’m not sure, in fact, if it’s possible to do a downbeat track that’s backed by a ukulele – they seem to have an in-built jauntiness factor that’s somewhat infectious, and in this instance it seems to have infected my very soul. MY SOUL, I tell you. And I like that in a song, because now I can think back to that “do. do. do do doo do do do. etc.” and be happy all day.

Tom: The word you’re looking for is “twee” – and if it were relentless, it’d be too much. That birdsong-whistling, for example, nearly pushed it over the edge – but then the guitars and drums kick back in, and it’s a proper McFly song again. That last chorus is gorgeous.

Tim: Nice video as well – them all in suits spinning umbrellas in an old concert hall, lack of any real special effects or anything, bringing out a slightly old-fashioned vibe that does nothing whatsoever to take away from the jauntiness of the song.

Tom: Since when was “the bonus track on a Best Of” meant to be this good?

Tim: I don’t know, but both this and the recent Girls Aloud track seem to be setting the bar quite high. It’s lovely all round, really.

Matt Cardle – It’s Only Love

“Actually got me bouncing around in my seat.”

Tim: Now, this is a surprise. Credibility Cardle ditched Syco about six months ago now (that’s not the surprise – I’m amazed it took him that long), and now he’s come along with this. Which is pretty much everything we didn’t associate with him before.

Tom: My first thought on watching that video: “blimey, Johnny Vegas cleans up well”. Just an unflattering angle, I’m sure.

Tim: Probably – much as the angle on his website might make you think you’ve gone to Coldplay’s site by accident.

When We Collide was a bit boring, Amazing was a bit dull, Run For Your Life was a bit dull. We liked Starlight, which was actually pretty good, but it still didn’t quite match up to this in terms of enthusiasm, or decent backing, or (dare I say it) catchiness. Heck, this is a song that’s actually got me bouncing around in my seat, and that’s a very pleasant feeling indeed. Even more pleasant is the remix the 7th Heaven have done – they can generally be relied upon to give any track a decent overhaul, but it turns out that his vocals actually lend themselves very well to a good dance tune. Have a listen, and tell me I’m wrong.

Tom: Normally at this point, I’d chime in and say “you’re wrong” just to be contrary, but I can’t: that is a very good dance tune. In fact, I’d go so far to say that I prefer it to the original.

Tim: Me too. Neither version will succeed, of course – he’s been largely forgotten about, as with every male X Factor winner, and his last two tracks, Starlight and Amazing, hit the heady chart heights of 185 and 84 respectively. Still, it’s nice that’s he’s trying, and even nicer that he’s actually coming up with the goods.

Little Mix – DNA

“They could share a stage with Nightwish.”

Tom: So if Credibility Cardle’s been forgotten, what about last year’s starlets? Wings was popular but a bit all-over-the-place. The second single is…

Tom: Ooh. Well. Several thoughts from this video: first of all, if they’re going to rip off the Sin City movie, at least they’re doing it well. Second of all: their target audience isn’t going to know what the hell they’re doing developing printed photos.

Tim: True, and true.

Tom: And as for the song: well, they’ve got a sound that, as far as I know, no other mainstream group’s doing. There’s some proper full-on orchestral harmonising going on there: if they went much further down that road they could share a stage with Nightwish. It’s good, if not what I expected from an X Factor girl group. They’re meant to do cheap pop hits to dance to, surely?

Tim: Well, you’d think, but with these voices – especially the opening two – that would be a huge waste. They sound incredibly mature, if that’s the right word, for a group of young girls who’ve barely hit twenty. This sounds like a group who’ve been going five years, not one, and I’m very impressed. If they’re doing stuff like this I’m very glad they won.

Tom: Not that I’m complaining: I’m not sure it’s going to be a regular on my playlist, but it certainly deserves to hit the charts.

Amy Macdonald – 4th of July

“I heard this, and thought it sounded Swedish.”

Tom: Over the couple of years we’ve been writing this tripe, Tim, I’ve started to get a taste for varying European accents — and the music that tends to come out of the Scandinavian nations. I heard this, and thought it sounded Swedish. And I’m wrong: because Amy Macdonald is very, very Scottish.

Tim: Yes, she is.

Tom: Let’s ignore the inopportune timing of the song, because that’s too easy a joke. Normally, I’d wonder if a track like this was worth writing about: it pretty much fits our generic-song formula.

Tim: It does, but it’s pretty excited and energetic and almost inducing of finger-clicking, which is always nice to hear. And that’s before you get to the fanfares in the background.

Tom: But that voice, and that triumphant backing: it’s a cut above. I’m not sure what it reminds me of, particularly in its closing few seconds, but it’s something rather wonderful.

Tim: I don’t think it reminds me of anything – just generally good, upbeat celebratory songs. Which is only logical, since that’s what it is.

Jedward – Luminous

Tim: This is not remotely like Waterline, which was brilliant. It is, however, almost as good.

Tom: And an interesting technical note: it’s “(c) Planet Jedward, under license to Universal Music”. Whoever Jedward’s agent is, they’re good.

Tim: One thing I like about Jedward is that they don’t seem to be too concerned with wanting to be credible musicians or writing their own stuff. They understand the basic fact that singing and writing are very different talents, and it’s entirely allowable for them to be done by different people.

Tom: OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT: Mind you, Jedward tracks would be improved if both the singing and writing were done by different people.

Tim: Perhaps, but they wouldn’t sell as well.

Here, we have a song by the same group of people that wrote Danny Saucedo’s recent single, All In My Head; Waterline was written by other Swedish people and everybody loved it. I’m rambling a bit, but my point is: everyone may say “Oh, Jedward, they’re annoying, I hate them”, but the thing that’s important is that their management know how to pick good songs.

Tom: On the other hand, Ireland can’t win Eurovision if they keep letting Jedward run for it. The juries’ votes placed them at the bottom of the table – no fan support can raise them to pole position from there. And if they’re in the running, they will get voted into the contest, no matter how good the song is.

Tim: That is true, and some day their reign over Irish pop will no doubt end. Until then, I’ve got no issues as long as they’re given tracks like this. Lovely backing, pretty video, decent enough lyrics and good use of autotune, all by people who know what they’re doing.

Tom: Well, with two notable exceptions.

JLS – Hottest Girl In The World

Oh, no, let’s not listen to this, it’s awful.

Tim: Oh, no, let’s not listen to this, it’s awful.

Tom: Too late, Tim, this train is a-rollin’! They’re back. And… what the hell are they up to?

Tim: I don’t know, but it’s rubbish, so can’t we do something else?

Tim: You see? Told you.

Tom: Are they ripping off “Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber? ‘Cos let me tell you: that’s not the best thing to rip off.

Tim: No, it isn’t, though it strikes me more like NSync’s “Girlfriend”, though that’s not much better.

Tom: And what on earth is that “Bla! Bo-de-oh-la!” in the background?

Tim: Awful? Crap? Dire? They’re all what it is.

Tom: And – more than that – what’s with the sudden (surprisingly melodic) bridge, ruined by positively infantile lyrics?

Tim: I don’t know, I really don’t like this, and not even in an entertaining way. Can I go now?

Tom: I really have no more coherent response than “what”.

Girls Aloud – Something New

MASSIVE.

Tim: “All I want is something new.” Both the first line of the chorus, and what many fans of brilliant pop music have been think for the past three and a half years.

Tim: So, we’ve got a MASSIVE backing track, quite a bit of Nicki Minaj-style rapping, a MASSIVE backing track, a BRILLIANT chorus, a MASSIVE backing track, some regular pretty good sung verses, a BRILLIANT chorus, a MASSIVE backing track and a BRILLIANT chorus.

Tom: There’s a bit too much Minaj in there for me, and the chorus ain’t exactly to my tastes: but I can’t deny…

Tim: And did I mention that MASSIVE backing track?

Tom: …the backing track, no.

Tim: It, along with that BRILLIANT chorus I may also have mentioned, really make this track really really amazing and exactly what a Girls Aloud comeback track should be.

Tom: Except. Except, except, except. I know this won’t apply to their target market, who’ll never have heard of it, but there’s an uncomfortable history in British pop music about people declaring themselves the leader of something. And once my brain made that connection — that really quite famous connection — the song kinda got ruined for me.

But yes, if your brain isn’t hyperactive on dodgy musical connections, it’s a good track.

Tim: “We girls gonna run this show.” Yes, they probably are.