Galavant feat. Clara Mae – Parachute

I really don’t think I could dance to that at all.

Tim: Readers, Tom is currently off swanning around in the arctic circle, because that’s the sort of thing he does; in the meantime, temporary recruit Adam is here to fill in. Say hello Adam!

Adam: Hello Adam!

Okay, now I’ve got that seriously bad dad joke out of the way–

Tim: I’d be disappointed if you hadn’t made it, to be honest.

Adam: –we can actually get to know each other.

My name’s Adam, I’m 27 years old and I’m a serial underachiever. Basically I’m no Tom Scott, so go easy on me.

My only exposure to Europop has been (drunkenly) watching Eurovision. I do like to call myself a musician though so maybe I can bring something to the table.

Tim: Adam, you won’t know this, but we featured Galavant just a couple of weeks ago; They’re a pair of Swedish producers who’ve now roped in the similarly Swedish Clara Mae, who presumably has a surname but it seems we’re not destined to know it,

Adam: I’ve done my research!!! I listened to Make Me Feel and I definitely think this has more on offer.

Never heard of Clara Mae before.

Tim: Me neither, as it happens, and I can’t find out much about her, sorry.

I feel like you need to be a bonafide star to be known on first-name basis.

Tim: Oh, you’d be surprised. I’m not sure how much I like that. Last time Tom criticised Galavant a bit for going nuts on the volume slider, with the instrumental chorus line going up/down/up/down/up/down several times a second.

Adam: Nowadays you can’t complain when an artist tries to make things a little more dynamic.

Tim: Oh, he wasn’t – that styles’s almost a cliché now – but to be honest I’ve come round to in a lot. Here, in contrast, they’re just on/off/on/off, and I really don’t think that works at all. It’s just way too staccato, and I really don’t think I could dance to that at all.

Adam: I’ve seen you dance. What did we say? “It’s like having a seizure in time to the music”.

Tim: Yes, but it just stops too much. A shame, because the rest of it’s good – she’s got a perfectly decent vocal, the melody’s fine – just that chorus production.

Adam: Nooo! I think the chorus is it’s redeeming factor. There’s no real hook but at least the chorus has some movement to it.

Tim: First track, first disagreement. I think we’ll got on just fine.

Bastille – Good Grief

Tom: Our reader, Alan, sends in the first single from Bastille’s new album. The video is very NSFW thanks to a surprising amount of artistic toplessness.

Tom: Brilliant video. Love the video. Love everything about the video.

Tim: It’s a fun video, certainly – not sure I quite get the overarching narrative, mind, but okay.

Tom: The song is… well, it’s Bastille.

Tim: Not just that, it’s good Bastille.

Tom: I can sing the chorus after one listen, so that’s a mark in its favour, and I’ll probably like it when it turns up on the radio — inevitably, repeatedly on the radio. But for some reason, as you can tell by that last, long, run-on sentence, there’s something cynical set up in my head.

I can’t work out why it hasn’t won me over. Is it just that I don’t like it, and the video distracted me?

Tim: I don’t know, because I do really like it. I listened again to be less distracted by the video, and I’ve heard it on the radio, and I’ve liked it whenever I’ve heard. Give it another go, why don’t you.

Tom: I will, but it’ll be while I’m gone. Our reader may have noticed some changes around here: partly that that’s because the site design was five years old, and partly because while I’m off for three weeks without an internet connection, someone is taking over for me. Tim, I’ll leave it with you.

Tim: I’ll try not to damage anything.

Saturday Flashback: Aqua – Cartoon Heroes

“It’s a shame we didn’t use this video to be more prepared.”

Tim: Why? Oh, no particular reason, except that Apple Music suggested a Hits of 2000 playlist to me this week and this was at the top, and I thought we could do a retrospective, and see how the various heroes are doing these days. (Quick note: in case you’ve still not got round to seeing them but want to, this will have spoilers for both Captain America: Civil War and Batman v Superman.)

Tom: Can you believe that I’ve never seen that video? Because I’ve never seen that video. That is a brilliant video.

Tim: You really haven’t? Well, yes it is brilliant, and in fact the first thing we need to do is note how weirdly prescient that video intro is – less than a decade later, humanity was indeed attacked by a giant octopus, and we did have to resort to somewhat unusual means to survive. Admittedly we needed Mega Shark to save us in the end, as Aqua were on hiatus at the time, but in hindsight it’s a shame we didn’t use this video to be more prepared.

Tom: It looks like they predicted the steampunk craze by about five or ten years, too. And yes, Aqua’s shtick was a bit ridiculous, but let’s not forget just how good this is as a pop song. I don’t think there’s anything actually wrong with this song. At all. This still stands up today.

Tim: As for the heroes mentioned in the song, well, Spider-Man’s in very good health, ably working with Iron Man to hold his own against the likes of Captain America and Ant-Man. Assuming the one running at the speed of light is The Flash, he’s doing alright as well, though slightly hidden away right now. Superman, on the other hand is ever so slightly dead, but hopefully that’ll change soon – we’ll check back in another sixteen years.

Mike Posner – In The Arms Of A Stranger (Brian Kierulf Remix)

“Almost all of the goodness.”

Tim: You’ll remember Mike Posner – he was the one who last summer took a pill in Ibiza, and before that thought that we thought we were cooler than him. You’ll also remember that last Friday it emerged that putting a tropical beat on a piano based track doesn’t always improve matters. On the other hand, since it’s Friday, let’s hear how it can.

Tom: That intro sounds ever so slightly like the Macarena.

Tim: The original, found here, is an actually pretty good track, and happily, almost all of the goodness – melody, vocals (front and back) – makes its way through to here.

Tom: It also loses the ridiculous “bum, bum, bum” introductions from the original, because, look, if you’re doing vocals like that, maybe use a syllable that isn’t “bum”? I realise it doesn’t have the same meaning in US English, but it’s the equivalent of having a choir sing “ass, ass, ass”.

But anyway, well, all the good stuff makes it through.

Tim: Not only that, but unlike yesterday the stuff that’s been added to the remix serves to make the song even better, as I see it anyway. A good beat for you to chomp on a pineapple to, some gentle marimba stylings and all in all, a nice mental image on lying on a beach, shaded by some gently wavering palm fronds, in the arms of the aforementioned stranger.

Tom: That’s a very specific mental image, Tim.

Tim: But isn’t it a nice one?

CHVRCHES – Bury It (Keys N Krates Remix)

“Eurgh.”

Tom: Our reader, going by the name “RedBassett”, sends in this remix. He describes it as “a very clean blend of the original music and the additions”.

Tim: Eurgh.

Tom: I describe it as “bloody awful”.

Tim: Yeah. I didn’t have a hugely negative reaction at first, but then I realised I hadn’t actually heard the original; I did, and then realised that every single redeeming feature came from that.

Tom: Sorry to our reader, but sometimes I have to call ’em like I hear ’em, and in this case what I hear is (not one of the better) CHVRCHES songs being mangled by what seems like an incompetent automatic remix generator. I handed up doing something I haven’t done to a song in a while: skipping forward a couple of minutes to see if it got any better. It didn’t.

Tim: No – if anything, it’s worse, with those additions at the end just being really rather dull. Bleh.

STEELE – Deep Water

“I expected there to be some sort of earthshattering kaboom.”

Tim: You may remember STEELE from her previous single Follow, or at the very least the description that came with it, including amongst other wonders “a musical maze that’s full of emotion and passion”. That metaphor clearly worked for her, because here we have “a dark maze of large soundscapes and dreamy melodies”.

Tom: I’m not sure “maze” is a good metaphor for songs. After all, surely you don’t want to get stuck listening to it forever?

Tim: Well…

Tim: So here’s the thing: STEELE (capitals apparently obligatory) goes on to say that “at first it strikes you as this mystical song and you’re not quite sure where it will take you, but once the beat comes in it brings a smile to my face and makes me wanna dance”. The first half of that, absolutely – mystical, not a clue what’s happening.

Tom: And it’s a really successful introduction and first verse: it builds wonderfully, the production is interesting and novel in a good way.

Tim: Right. But then, smiling and dancing? Really, really not (and not just because I had to wait until the song’s halfway point before the beat came in).

Tom: Agreed. Perhaps I’ve just listened to too much EDM likely, but there was no moment where this actually kicked in. It was a slow, steady, constant build, and while that can work if it’s what the audience is expecting (for all I know, her fans might be expecting just that), I expected, at some point, there to be some sort of earthshattering kaboom. Or at least a drop.

Tim: Isn’t it weird? I picked that moment because there is a slight increase in energy there, but to be honest I felt like I had to check I was listening to the right track a couple of times. This is just, well, a tad depressing really, and very much doesn’t fit with the line “the energy and vibe that builds throughout is so uplifting and enchanting”. Is it just me that doesn’t get this?

Tom: It’s not just you. The end of it is just plain unpleasant.

Tim: Good – in that case I think we can confirm this is the most misguided PR piece we’ve ever received.

Galantis and East & Young – Make Me Feel

“I can identify two things wrong with this.”

Tom: Another EDM track sent in by one of our readers, with some very guarded praise: it’s good for “some middle-of-the-set action”.

Tom: And again, our reader isn’t wrong. There’s nothing wrong with this at all – Galantis know what they’re doing, and whoever East & Young are, they do too. But for some reason, it isn’t as fun to listen to as yesterday’s collaboration; what’s missing?

Tim: See, I’d dispute the “nothing wrong with this”, because I can identify two things off bat that link directly to your lack of fun comment. First up: the verses. The chorus is happy, chirpy, pleasing. The verses, though, despite having a similarly almost unintelligible vocal, comes across very much more low key, bringing a bit of a downer every time one comes along. Good intro, downer, improvement in the pre-chorus, great chorus…and then right back down again.

Another thing: it stops too early. I don’t mean that in a time way, because three and a half minutes is plenty long enough for a good track, but structurally. After that second chorus, the downer kicks in again and we’re hopeful this upcoming middle eight will build it up into something magical for the final chorus; instead, nope, that’s it, and you’re left on a downer and, possibly only subconsciously, knowing you’ve been robbed of something to make that go away.

And that’s why it’s not fun.

Porter Robinson & Madeon – Shelter

“Repetitive but fun to listen to.”

Tom: Our reader, James, sends in this, saying “it sounds exactly like you might expect… tad repetitive and not lyrically adventurous, but what makes up for it is how fun it is to listen to”.

Tom: I do like it when people who send in tracks do the review for us. He’s not wrong.

Tim: No, it’s a good track all round. Might not be any particular moments to get massively excited about, but enjoyable nonetheless.

Tom: To be fair, ‘repetitive but fun to listen to’ sums up a lot of popular EDM. This seems to be a cut above most, though: it’s well composed and well produced. Sure, it’s by the numbers, but as ever from these two, they’re really good numbers.

Tim: Absolutely – nothing to complain about here.

Saturday Flashback: Moby – Extreme Ways (Bourne’s Ultimatum)

“Smaller differences that make it my preferred version”

Tim: I’ve been watching all the Jason Bourne films recently, since there’s a new one out and I want to be up to date, as you do. They all use Extreme Ways in the closing credits, and, FUN FACT, from the third one on they’ve got Moby to redo it each time, fiddling it slightly. Such as this, my favourite of the bunch.

Tim: You may want to refresh your memory of the original, since it wasn’t one of his best performing releases.

Tom: No, I don’t. Because this song means something very different to me: it’s the “reveal-music” from the brilliant, smart Korean reality-game show The Genius. That opening string sample means something big is about to go down (that video’s a minor spoiler, obviously).

Tim: This one still uses that opening string sample, and still that same percussion sample, but there are smaller differences that make it my preferred version – for starters the piano line the kicks off the main line is funked up a notch, the vocals are less distorted and there’s a female vocalist joining in later.

Tom: I’m so used to the original that I’m not sure it improves it: there’s certainly more, but is that a good thing?

Tim: For me yes, because of the most noticeable thing: the drums are brought in a whole lot more prominently. Originally they just kicked in at some point underneath the main line, but here everything drops off and we get a “right, let’s GO” moment.

Tom: For me, that first string sample has always been the “let’s GO” moment, but that’s because of the context I find it in.

Tim: Yes, but like you said, they’re an “about to happen” noise – that drum intro is an “it’s ON”. The rolling strings come along, the vocals follow soon after, and we’re know we’re off to a good start. Or, if you’re in the cinema, a good ending.

Calum Scott – Dancing On My Own

“Some songs should be be held on a pedestal, and rendered immune from John Lewis-ification.”

Tim: Thomas. You know very well that (a) Fridays are currently reserved for tropical house and (b) this song is a crime against the entirety of Scandinavia, so you’d better have a good reason for wanting to post this today.

Tom: The first part, I’ll resolve later. The second part… well, our anonymous reader sends this in, saying “a piano-ballad-cover of a Robyn EDM track: What can possibly go wrong”?

Tim: Everything. No, seriously, EVERYTHING.

Tom: Well, for starters, this:

Tim: Most sensible tweet of the year, that.

Tom: He’s got a great voice. I can’t fault that voice. It’s a heck of a performance, perhaps apart from that glottal stop on “better”. And I think there’s a lot of room for interpretations and cover versions of songs, even if “emotional male piano ballad” is a bit overplayed. But the original of this is — let’s be clear here — a BANGER, and just because you’ve lost some of the instrumentation it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily more emotional.

Tim: No; it does, on the other hand, mean it’s necessarily more boring. And you’re right, there is a lot of room for reinterpretations, but some songs should be be held on a pedestal, and rendered immune from John Lewis-ification. Dancing On My Own is one of them.

Tom: And let’s face it, even if I don’t agree with some of the Internet that this cover version is necessarily a crime against music, that hanging, unresolved ending certainly is.

Tim: Yes. So let’s not do the same with this post. Let’s resolve it properly. First, we’ll add a bit of bio by pointing out that the most interesting sentence on Calum Wikipedia page tells us he “won a local competition, Hull Daily Mail’s Star search 2013, after which he joined a Maroon 5 tribute band, called ‘Maroon 4’” and second, realise that that tells us all we need to know about him. And then finish with this.

Tom: And then, let’s finish with this. Because, yes, you could argue that Calum’s cover is unnecessary — but you know what’s definitely unnecessary? Adding beats back in by getting Tiesto to do an uninspired remix of it. If you want a proper comparison, this shows just how much better the original is.

Tim: Oh. Oh, man.